Archive | April 2011

I Know You *NOT*

Just the other day, I was discussing with a friend of mine and we started talking about our parents. My parents have been married since 1984, my friends’ parents have been married since 1982 and I’m pretty sure many people my age have their parents married for the longest time now.

You would think that because they have been married 25 years (+), they know each other completely?  I have been with my parents for 24years and their relationship is amazing. *Yeah, we kids watch…lol* and from my observation, this is my answer.  “Oh well, Yes and No.

Yes, on the obvious things like their best meals, best colors, best music,  bleh bleh bleh, you can bet they have that on their finger tips and that’s because they have either told each other or it’s something they have experienced on a regular. It’s those things that one knows and they will be able to tell out or they have observed over time.

No, because there are some characters or behaviors that only come up  given a certain situation. So, if in those 25(+) years they haven’t experienced a certain situation that would exude a certain character, then either of them would not know how they would react and or how the other would react when that happens. There are those things that even you as a person would not know how you would react if a certain thing happens to you…you just have to wait.

For example, you cannot know how the other reacts when they are stressed about something, say finances or teenage children unless you have an issue with financial strain or problematic teenage children. Then you can say, I know this person given that situation, if you assume you know how they would react, you could be in for the shock of your life.

And as we discussed I was like, then how do we say, I’m not gonna be with this person because you do not know them. Of course you are never going to know them completely considering our parents have been married for that long i.e. they dated, then got married, live together, have children and share everything and they still have the “Oh My God!” or “Huh?”moments. They get surprised by some reactions or response of the other such that sometimes the way they would expect the other to react is not necessarily how they would react.

So can you really say you know someone?

My take … NO *in caps*, you can never completely know someone, people are sometimes like the weather or worse, they change alot, they change due to various factors (external and internal), variables and constants in their life. With a different situation, comes different reactions, what you expect is not necessarily what you get. People have things called moods and feelings which affect reactions.

You can only know little about someone and that’s what you use to judge whether that’s the person you want to be with or not, it could be both for friends and spouses. Other times, intuition and gut feeling is what you would follow.

They say “Live in your heart and less in your head” … I also say listen to your heart and follow it *sometimes* because the mind can play some serious mind games.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Words Pierce or Bring Healing

Now it seems that when I have a flu and I take cold caps I get sleepless … is that normal really? I remember a time I use to take them and I become super drowsy. This time round I was sure to tell the physician to give me something that’s non-drowsy … I can’t afford to be sleepy during the day. And he gives me non-drowsy (daytime) cold cap. I don’t know if I was supposed to buy the drowsy ones for the night…mmmh!

So as my insomnia time checks in yesterday, Dr.90210 was showing next —> sometimes I like watching this strange stuff, just for the fun of it. And Jeez! If everything about your body feels right, you should be saying a huge thank you to your creator (God) right about now and every moment that it crosses your mind, because you’re blessed and lucky.

People have issues out there, that we would probably take for granted. For instance, in this particular episode there were 3 teenagers undergoing re-constructive surgeries. One lady with big boobies and it was affecting her self-esteem and she wants them reduced, because she was being criticized by schoolmates and random guys. Then a trans-gender issue where this dude has always wanted to be a girl, he’s basically lived the life of a girl and now needs to reconstruct some of his facial features so that he can actually look like a girl. Lastly, was this lady with a crooked nose, which affected her sleep and she would snore like mad (I’m sure you’re wondering how I would know…lol, it’s the mother who emphasized on how bad it was) and she wanted something done about it. And for all the cases above, one thing I noticed is that they had a strong supporting system from their families, I bet that’s what got them through, because it can be quite traumatizing, even if it’s your choice to undergo such a procedure.

And as I watched it just occurred to me that, there are sometimes we see some people with a certain deformity or abnormality and the 1st thing that comes to our mind is how to condemn or criticize them not knowing the pain that they are going through trying to deal with that issue. I think everyone has a saturation point e.g. how much they can handle with regards to what people say about them especially the negative comments and so on.

Like I was just wondering, why the lady with the big *I did not think they were too big* boobies would want them reduced. One of her reasons was that, “People would see her for her big boobs and not for the person she is”, and she put it out with regards to her relation with men, like she would pass some guys and all they would talk about is her boobs. In the long run it affected her esteem and she just wants them reduced among other issues such as not being able to exercise well or dress up in clothes that she would love to. You notice all her reasons rotate around reducing speculation from the people who surround her. I loved how her mum was with her every step of the way, encouraging her and telling her it’s going to be alright…sometimes that’s all one needs to hear.

In short, making fun of people can be ‘fun’, but when you do something in excess, it can be detrimental. Some shortcomings such as having certain body abnormalities or deformities are not self inflicted or self sort; you don’t say that this is the abnormality I want to have. It’s something you are either born with or it just happens at a certain time in your life and mainly out of your control. It’s not something you are proud of per se or that you would want to have.

Given the chance to re-create yourself maybe there’s that part you would remodel maybe because you don’t like how it looks, it could be as something as simple as your toe nail *yes, I have a deformed toe nail…lol*. So while you critic and make fun of someone else’s abnormalities, think twice because what you could be taking as humorous could be slowly butchering someone else’s feelings.

“When you criticize an abnormality, watch what you say, to whom you are saying it to, why you are saying it and when you are saying it. It might seem humorous but deep inside you could be crushing someone’s life.” ~ Kawiria

Proverbs 12:18  – “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

Good day lovely people.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

TAKE ONE *RELATIONSHIPS*

“It’s better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone” ~ Marylin Monroe

I have never really drawn my inspiration from her per se, because to be honest I’ve never really understood her life story and I will not question it either. Had a go with my friends a while ago about her life, why she did what she did and at some point I figured, she’s the only one who knew what she was about, only God can judge. I LOVE her quotes though, they totally speak my mind.

I am at an age where there’s pressure here, there, everywhere about relationships, how you should be in one and if you are not in one, then why aren’t you in one? When you meet your friends and family, one of the first things they ask you is how is *insert name of whoever you are dating*, and when you shrug, everyone wants to know what went wrong, “Oh my! You two look so good together, you were like the perfect couple, you looked like you loved each other so much. What happened? No, you should try and work it out. Who did what, who said what?“ bleh, bleh, bleh.

So you are dating … that’s great. But every time you whining about that person how they don’t do this, say this, how they are like this and you don’t like it. Half the time you are unhappy but for the sake of saving face among your friends and family, you just play along and pretend like everything is alright and that this person you are with is great.

You know sometimes people look at things from the outside and see like everything is rosy … think petals with no thorns. They see the colors, floweriness and the blossomy nature – its beauty, this being the happiness and smiles that the couples have to display to the public just to show that everything is ok. They don’t see what you see as the person in the relationship, they don’t feel the thorns, when the rose is withering or when it’s losing its shine. Only the roses themselves would understand because they get neglected.

“It’s just like when you have a bouquet of roses, you only see the beauty, rarely does someone think that these flowers do wither and they might need water, or they’ll eventually die and you’ll throw them. Plus they have been detached from their roots, so they’re never going to grow anyway.”

Sometimes some relationships are like that, like that bouquet of roses, there’s no life in them but when you get into it the first time you are over the roof … it’s beautiful, flowery and it just looks like it will stay like that forever until you realize, that roses have thorns, they wither if not dipped in a vase with water, they lose their shine and their color and liveliness, then eventually they die and you throw them away.

So what exactly is a good relationship like? My take, I think it’s like a tree! Why? Because with a tree you see it like it is. It’s not colored and flowery. If you like a tree, then you like for the right reasons. Why do I say this?

You see with roses, you like them because they are beautiful, colored, rosy, they smell good … which is basically the outside and it’s more material. Does anyone like roses any other way? It’s the same if you date someone based on their outer qualities i.e. looks, wealth and so on … then chances you will see nothing past that.

With the tree, depending on which tree we are looking at, you like it for more reasons other than the outward beauty. You like it for what it does for you, it will provide a shade, bear you fruits that will keep you healthy, it will protect you and provide you with shelter and you in return will take care of that tree so that it will always be there for you when you need it, plus it has its roots strengthened on the ground so it has life and will grow.

Never settle for less than you deserve no matter how much pressure you get from whomever. Be with who makes you happy. You know sometimes you can be chasing a relationship to escape being lonely, but you end up being lonelier than you were, when you are in that relationship.

I don’t know when I will ever learn this, I think now I am *hopefully*: DON’T BE IN A HURRY TO GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP. You are basically letting down your guard and giving someone access to either guard or break your heart. And trust me, not everyone really cares about your heart, to someone it could be a door-mat that they could wipe their feet i.e. get what they wanted from you and leave. While to another it could be there most delicate part of your body. I’m pretty sure you are looking for the later, the one who will respect, understand, trust, adore and most of all protect your delicate heart.

“Sometimes you don’t do things like get into a relationship NOT because you are stupid or intelligent, you just do them because you are human and you have something called feelings. Just learn how to contain them and when to let them out and you are good to go. ” ~ Kawiria

“Be VERY slow to catch feelings but fast to learn what’s going on.” ~ Kawiria

Signing Off ~~~*Kawi*

Friday Musings *TGIF*

It’s been crazy, crazy, crazy … I saw this pic and I was like … hahaha, that’s such a typical work week especially if you’re swamped. You think of Monday and you can literally get sick…lol. I’m stealing a moment from my lunch to do the Thank God It’s Friday post. I have really missed doing this. I should stop here, before I start pouring my heart out.

I’m feeling

Like sitting and staring blankly in space!

Sulky

This weekend

I just want to catch up on sleep and I think I was invited for something, can’t remember what. If the person reminds me I might go, if not, movies, movies, movies with crisps and juice will do.

I’m craving

Just chilling, sleep and hanging out with fun people where there is food … hehe. Nothing much!

Songs of the week

So my workmate got me hooked on Adele. She’s amazing and her songs get me, and so my song of the week now happens to be : Best For Last -Adele … I think it’s the flow, oh and her voice … I want!

I want and pray

For Peace, love, unity and happiness … And most of all for fuel prices to be reduced. Ksh 111, that means everything, like absolutely everything will be expensive and Kenyan business men know how to take advantage of that. God help!

Highlight of the week

How could I forget that I was featured on Wamathai’s Q&A Monday : @Kawiria … Check it out and maybe you’ll figure a thing or two about me. *emphasis on the “a thing or two”*… lol, I’m that difficult to figure.

Lesson Learnt this week

Be true to all your friends, it goes a long way. Just did a “clean slate” with a long time friend I had kinda lost.  I’m glad I’m not the kind to keep grudges. I still had their number :p … I hadn’t deleted it. Had to rub this in.

“Friendship is the bestest thing that comes to life . Friends will always be there for you don’t worry about the fakes worry about the people who had your back from the start and never treated you wrong always remember they are your real friends don’t never take them as granted because one day your going to lose a good friend by the way your action’s are when you see a good friend stick to that person .” ~  Marilyn Monroe

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

“I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love.” ~ Marilyn Monroe

Funtastic Weekend to ya’ll … God Bless!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

We all have problems *Thin Line*

There’s no doubt that between opposites lies a very thin line that is bound to break at slight touch or blunder.

Why I even thought of this is because, many are the times we are at our happiest and someone just says or does something that’ll totally tick you off. Not that you had planned or wanted to become mad, it just so happened that this person who was making you so happy, just broke the that cord that was separating happiness and sadness and all over sudden there’s a sad cloud is over you. That’s why you would hear friends saying they have a “love-hate relationship”, don’t know how that works out though.

It’s not necessarily always from the positive to the negative, it could be vice versa. Sometimes I wonder why that line was made so thin, so delicate. One time you can be laughing and the next someone is getting a black eye or tears are rolling down your cheeks, then the next time you are smiling at the same person. All it takes is something as small as a gesture, a statement or an action that you probably thought would have a small or no impact, but to the other party it was much bigger than what you thought.

More like a smoker throwing a cigarette butt out the window in the aim of putting it out but instead it causes a fire.

Not that they had anticipated that it’ll cause the fire, it hadn’t even crossed their mind that anything like that could happen. Such is life, sometimes you could do something thinking you’re doing it right or better yet doing it to your own satisfaction (ok, that sounds wrong but I guess you get the point … hehe)but when it gets to the other side it causes a change of emotions, it could stir feelings that you hadn’t anticipated.

With reference, to the smoker, it would be nice if they looked out to see if the surrounding is clear and safe for them to throw out the cigarette butt. And if it’s not, maybe wait to throw it in a decent place. So should we, when you pull out a statement from your archives maybe you could consider where it’s landing … person, action, time, place!

You could be telling the right person, the right thing at the right time but at the wrong place and that messes up the whole set up.

That little things you overlook could be the source of all the problems. And that’s why, problems are never-ending. They’re inevitable and unavoidable, solely because people are all different. You can please one with something and the same thing could be an issue to another. The best one could do is figure how to deal with all this problems and issues that keep cropping up left, right and maybe center … then life moves on!

QUOTE OF THE DAY 

BREAKING NEWS: “The Pity Train has just derailed at the intersection of SUCK IT UP & MOVE ON, and crashed into WE ALL HAVE PROBLEMS, before coming to a complete stop at GET THE HELL OVER IT.”
Lol, there was a continuation to that quote, but it’s was better off left there. Have a good day mates!
Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

It’s never that serious, why so serious?

This is very random but I think that I’m probably the only kid who loved sleep-time in the afternoon when we were in pre-primary. Who else did?

It’s never that serious, why so serious?

Ever dealt with someone who’s rigid? Someone who takes everything you say too seriously? Like if you say something or do something and the first response is them probably snapping at you. That can be pretty irritating … I try not keep friends like those. I consider them sadists, because that means that before I say something or even do something with them around I have to really think about the consequences of my actions … thinking so much about something means that I probably won’t be myself or I just won’t be comfortable all together.

I mean sometimes its just fun to pull a random statement that’s funny and have people laugh about it or even add extra jokes on it and then let it go and life moves on swiftly. The rigid people will make a big deal out everything. Even that small tiny statement that did not mean to harm anyone would blow up into something you hadn’t even thought of as you randomly pulled the statement at the top of your mind.

Like when on the social media (twitter of facebook), you put up a status update … not knowing that it’s like you’re fueling a car that had been blinking empty for a while. The next thing you know someone just comes and pours their emotional outrage on you and your status *sorry if this has happened to you…lol*. Maybe they’ve been having a bad day and your status got the better part of them. What’s so hard in ignoring a comment? Maybe it was a joke that you took too far. Those are the days that the writer of the update looks at the computer with popping eyes O_o wondering where all that emotional outage has come from.

If you’re on Twitter, this is one great reason why should never have a go with #kenyansontwitter (Twitter Basics), it’s comprised of amazing people who take up the concept of “it’s never that serious” to another level. That’s why they would diss someone so much, although I would die if they got to my case … the guys can be so mean … whaaat! They can basically take your twitter handle and drag it through hell and back … lol, so you either ignore them or join the hilarious bandwagon and life gets more interesting.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“Never take it seriously, If you never take it seriously you never get hurt.If you never get hurt, then you always have fun, and if you ever get lonely you just go to the record store and visit your friends.” ~ Penny Lane in the movie Almost Famous.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

 

Turn Swag *on…off*

So a good friend of mine calls me up and tells me our dinner is long overdue *YAAAY* words you’d love to hear any day… those are the people who know how to make a gloomy turn into a bright vibrant day, it can’t get better than that. Gosh! I can be so easy to please, wonder why people never get it.

Anyway, we go for dinner and as we catch up … I get the urge to go to the bathroom #TMI I know! And alas! who do I find in the bathroom? Some very beautiful ladies taking pics of themselves by the mirrors, the full posing and all. A conversation strikes of:

Lady1 : Hey, don’t mind us, we are not usually like like this!

Me: No problem, I understand .. Don’t mind me!

Lady2 (to her friends): Oh my the door is open, we’ll look like we are in the bathrooms.

Lady3 (responds): But isn’t the whole point to show that we are in thee hotel

Lady2: Oh ok … Smile to the camera now!

Me: *Beyond bedazzled*

Please note that this did not amuse me because it was shady or something close to that … because it really is shady anyway. It’s because this ladies looked like they have no care for the world … they were enjoying the shady moments like completely. They did not stop because I entered the room or even feel embarrassed, they excused themselves.

Then as I was cleaning my hands and watching them with the corner of my eye … the rural swag crossed my mind. This was just but one example of the ideal rural swag. I am pretty sure you’re probably wondering what rural swag is (#ruralswag) … that’s if you are not active on twitter or not on twitter … for your sake, I’ll do the whole definition thing:

Rural swag is the process of *gosh 8.4.4 was such a mess* … It’s when as much as you’re uptown or better yet élite a.k.a barbie there are those ‘village like’ or ‘shady’ habits that just make you happy enough to make you turn your urbane swag off.

Swag in this case being your uptown class, style, demeanor e.t.c

You get the gist of it? There are those things you do that are just shady or very village like and you know they are … but the best thing about it is that the process and the results just make you beyond happy. Here are a few that I am guilty of and I know I am cool, but sometimes that swag has gotta be turned off a bit, considering that, “too much of something is bad for your health”… lol. That’s such a perfect excuse.

  • Watching local programs like vioja mahakamani, tahidi high, papa shirandula(sp)  …  name them, the accents just completely amuse me. Sometimes Naija movies if I catch an intriguing one on African magic as long as there are no people wailing or black magic and there’s nothing else to watch.
  • Drinking off bottles instead of pouring drink in glass – I mean like from a 1 liter soda or juice box.
  • Eating with my hands … mainly applies for food edible that way such as ugali, meat, chicken, greens – somehow they
  • Taking pics in random places … except the bathroom … lol
  • Eating from someone else’s plate … hehe the food on the other plate always tastes better. why?
  • Dressing down … pants (shorts/trousers), t-shirt and flats, hair held down … the simpler the better!

Those are just but a few. I have so many but I have to save face so that just in case you had an image of me as the coolest girl with the full-blown urban swag, you can just ignore the above – I eat with a fork and knife!

I say, if it makes you happy, should  it portray either your rural or urban swag, just do it! As long as you’re not stepping on someones toes or hogging on someone else’s time, money, space and so on! I know of so many times where I have to excuse myself before I do something very rural or tell the person I’m with not to mind me or I’m sorry I have to do this. hehe.

If you find someone to pull your shady (swag off) moments with or someone who doesn’t mind you doing what really makes you happy … even better. Give thanks, keep them as your favorites and love them.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*