Archive | May 2011

TGIF *Last Friday NOT*

Thank God It’s Friday and I promised that my this weeks TGIF is going to be named *Last Friday* and the world didn’t come to an end as someone was prophesying. Again, only God knows :-) , that’s the beauty of life … He’s the only one who knows about you, me and the world.

Who has watched the movie “Adjustment Bureau”, just imagine if that’s how your life is planned out … Jeez! Would you like to actually get a hold of the book and see wassup! I mean sometimes we go through life and you’re like if I knew where I will be in 5-10years I would start working on it now … you know, but now, we just live in hope and faith that in the next 5-10yrs I’m going to be something, which chances are that your tangent won’t even be facing close to that direction…lol, but again that’s the beauty of life … The unknown *yikes*

I’m feeling

Gooood! Like really good! I don’t know why, but yeah!

This weekend

Lunch at my friends … food *-*. Then, my champ has a week to go in the country *sigh*, so 2nd last weekend *sigh again*, but make the most of every moment right? Despite my flu, I’ll strive to be the best company, I always am :p

I’m craving

An unblocked nose and a lifetime of a clear nose. Jeez! I think I’m always sneezing … sinusitis, flu, then allergy SMH! I think my nose is becoming my body’s enemy, source of all the problems.

Songs of the week

I am on Taylor Swift’s playlist … funny enough I really like that girl, in a #NoHomo way, I think she’s pretty cool and fun! Her music just gets me going.

I want and pray

For God to grant me the desires of my heart … and for him to bless and keep safe my family and friends because this world without them would be more like an empty void.

Highlight of the week

Flu! Flu! Go away! as in its put me down for a couple of day’s now, but for my love work … gosh! Maybe I should start my own company … lol but seriously? I’m up and kicking and not so bad after all!

Lesson Learnt this week

Love what you do, think before you leap and love who you do it with … then you will most definitely have fun —> Ps! Your mind shouldn’t go to the gutter, just a disclaimer because I know most of you have naughty minds. It could be family, friends, work, life, party … whatever!


Have a lovely weekend lovely peoples! God bless *xoxo*

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

The Power of Tissue Paper

I think if there is one object that really hates its work or purpose in life it’s the ill-fated Tissue paper, like really. I cannot even begin to imagine the number of asses it has had to go through only to be thrown into the toilet and to be flushed down into the sewer. It cannot get anymore disgusting than that.

So can you imagine the joy of the tissue paper on seeing that, there’s no more of it left to wipe your behind and it’s caught you off-guard. That’s the moment that if empty toilet rolls could speak this is what they would exactly tell you, “HA HA you’re fucked now!”

Assume the place as a tissue paper, would you like to be the best tissue paper in the market, that is the best quality or the poorest quality in the market? After all you will all serve the same purpose in the long run? … that is to wipe the behind!

I know, I am awkward, but if I was a tissue I would like to be “Fay tissue”, you know the smooth kind that will leave the owners behind smooth and clean … lol, and expensive so that the owner will dent their pocket a bit as they buy. So that they will be buying not because they are going to use me to wipe their behinds but because of the feeling I leave them after using me. Do you know how important tissue is? Like seriously … It’s the one thing that you’re definitely never going to miss in someones toilet … as long as they have one!

Hehe, I know you’re thinking I’m psycho going on and on about tissue and more tissue, but I saw that picture and this is what ran through mind:

I have gone to some random place and I am super pressed to the point of peeing on myself, you know the kind that gets you crossing your legs and making all the kind of comical moves before you get to the loo just to distract the concentration. When I reach the loo, I struggle to get my pants off or at least unzip them without breaking a button or spoiling the zip because of the anticipation of sitting down on the loo and releasing the contents of the bladder and maybe the bowel too. Just after I have comfortably sat on the toilet bowl and began my heavily awaited activity, I look to the side and there’s absolutely no sign of tissue paper O_O , actually what is there is that brown bottom paper a little sign of white meaning that the person who was there just before you had ripped it to the last bit.

Yes! Isn’t that a completely new source of stress, wondering what to do? what to do? Alternative means of cleaning the mess of my behind?  I can say this, even out of imagination, this can be the most disturbing moment in your life…lol. If only you had the tissue, wouldn’t it make the situation much more bearable and containable, because all you have to do is, sit on the toilet bowl, release, pick the tissue, wipe, wear and life moves on as usual. Without the tissue the series is completely distorted.

What it means is that sometimes the big things in life can push you to the edge, that you can’t hold it anymore and you just want to let out like the contents of the bladder and the bowel that you forget to look at the little important things in life, in this case the tissue. This small important things in life are the ones that will prevent you from getting into shit or from being fucked … if you know what I mean.

The tissue paper holds power, that we don’t realize until it has actually run out i.e. the empty tissue paper roll. In essence, we should not  let it run out, that’s why we buy tissue paper in bulk or have those tissue holders hanged in the loo, with a constant supply, when it’s about to run out, you fill it in, because you don’t want to be caught in that situation unawares.

Those small things, like politeness, kindness, love, faith, hope, peace, encouragement, truth, patience, loyalty … you know the usual, that we think are so small are the ones which make the whole difference and when they run out, life never gets any easier … if anything that would be a new source of stress.

Why I would compare this stuff to tissue? It’s because you can love and not be loved back, or you can be polite to someone who is completely rude to you or you can give to someone who is super stingy, or be patient with someone who has kept you waiting for ages or be loyal to someone who is betraying every bit of you …..  Just like the tissue wipes just anyone who rolls it down wether a good or bad person.

Ps: I ain’t saying be a sissy, but don’t less the juices of your goodness be drained off *You get the drift?*


Embrace those tissues in life and make sure that they never run out, because you don’t want an empty tissue paper roll having power over you and giving you an “HA HA you’re fucked now!” ~ Kawiria

Always look at the toilet holder before you sit on the toilet bowl to do your business, one of the important life lessons … lol (It’s not everyday you can call your sister or mother to bring you tissue … *been there done that* … hehe)

Lovely weekend, lovely peoples!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Friday Fragments *the end*

I don’t believe in this stuff but what if this is was actually the last Friday? Because according to one Harold Camping, it is!

Harold Camping, 89-year-old leader of the ministry Family Radio Worldwide, has predicted that a five-month destruction of humanity will commence Saturday with a Rapture, in which believers will ascend to heaven. “Whereas this five-month period will be an enormous horror story for those who have not been raptured, it will be a time of great joy and wonder for those who are raptured,” according to the Family Radio website.

I remember when I was a kid, I watched this movie that had guys rapturing. As in you’re talking to someone and all over sudden there are just clothes hanging…Jeez! That was magical but scary in a way! That’s what crossed my mind when I saw that statement. Question is, why do guys believe in this stuff, when it fully well contradicts with the bible. It says,

“No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father” ~ Matthew 24:36

“No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father” ~ Mark 13:32

Yeah, at least I’ve got my facts right! So really, I’m just going to continue being me, nothing extraordinary. However, I think I now need to start writing my bucket list, there are somethings I need to do before we start being threatened with raptures and destructions.

I’m feeling

Happy and over the clouds.

This weekend

Spending time with my besties before rapture … lol, since I’m a good girl, I know if Jesus comes, I’ll go to heaven *wink*, I’ll probably be pulling a *deuces, it’s been real to this big confused world* #jk

I’m craving

Just chilling and bumming with friends in the house, cracking jokes, eating (of course food has to be in the mix) and drinks … That’s it! Outside is just cold and too cliché already.

Songs of the week

Last Friday Night (TGIF) – Katy Perry …. I’m sure guys will be singing that next Friday, so in case you decide to get damaged be ware … I have my Paparazzi Camera … will be posting pics next Friday *Evil Grin* and TGIF will be named *Last Friday*

I just like Katy Perry, her songs are fun! Fireworks and Teenage dream!

I want and pray

For love, wisdom and peace to prevail in our country and the world at large (reminds me of when we use to recite poems in Primary School…lol). First off, how our infamous Wanjiru jumped of the balcony was a very unwise decision, in addition to those guys actually believing the world is coming to an end…hehe #NoComments

Highlight of the week

My favorite is back in town for a short while and the bridge has been mended. It had been blown off and now it’s built again, much better and stronger! Yup! I bet you’re reading into it … I like it when you do that :p

Lesson Learnt this week

Those things that look so easy, are not so easy when you’re actually doing them! So never underestimate stuff especially if you’re an on looker.

PS: Football fans should be taking this lesson into consideration #justsaying


Just in case tomorrow is the end of the world and it’s my last TGIF post, let me say something mushy as a quote, not everyday being so philosophical *let loose* :p

I know … awww! Funtastic Weekend to ya’ll … God Bless!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Friday Fragments

It’s Friday … Like finally *Thank God Its Friday*! Funny how it’s been one of the “shortest weeks” but it looked like it was extended without our knowledge. It’s been coupled by mad traffic, fuel shortage, heavy rains, slow internet, KPLC going gaga with their switches, Nairobi water deciding that water is not a necessity. However, thank God for hilarious workmates, TV and good food *top chef being me* that have made the week *with the look of things* look much flowerier (for lack of a better “word”) than it would’ve been.

I’m feeling

Cheekily smirky and bubbly inside! Just want to blow it away and spread some love love!

This weekend

Birthday Party, Mother’s Day, TV, read and also try understand my dads new gadget. Which I am supposed to explain and show him how it works later after rocking it for a while :-p Folks and technology are like repelling poles, but we need to force them together…hehe

I’m craving

Being in the middle of a meadow … yes a meadow! If translated, that would mean, I just want to have a free mind. It’s taken me long enough to figure that not everyone deserves your attention and it’s about that time I got into that program.

Songs of the week

Yes! I’ve trying to get that shuffle right, and it’s prompted me to start “exercising” —> LMFAO – Party Rock Anthem ft. Lauren Bennett, GoonRock.

And my all time PARTY song —>Jaguar – Kigeugeu … this song can get me from a low state into a high state instantly *Solid to Gas*

I want and pray

A peace of mind and A LOT … I mean … A LOT of wisdom! I think I’ve had enough time to joke around … lol. But I also want to thank God for the far he has brought me.

Highlight of the week

My dad got a new gadget and as he would always do, he gave it to me to set it up … I hope he feels philanthropic and just hands it down :-) but Jeez! It’s so complicated already. What’s with the technical guys coming up with overly complicated gadgets #blackberry9530? If only they could make life way easier like Nokia does…hehe I love Nokia phones #E63 #teamNokia

@teamBritish has managed to raise enough money … YAAAY! I’m happy for @Ngendo and her family. I pray for her mum to now get fully well. Then I can now openly say I love social media … People you don’t even know can be there for you in ways you never imagined and this one here, is just but one of them.

Lesson Learnt this week

That sometimes we run away from the people who truly love us and chase people who care the least about us. Why are we humans like that?

That should be my next post, just gotten an epiphany! And I’m so over that … I realise someone doesn’t care so much about me, I will run! For those who care about me, I’m sticking like super glue and I will always be consistent in your lives *wink*.


Funtastic Weekend to ya’ll … God Bless!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Mother’s Gift *@TeamBritish*

Mother’s are a gift that you can not even begin to explain what you would do without. Personally, I don’t know how life would be without my mother around. I call her and tell her of every little happening in my life … Happy, sad, confused, sick … I’m a culprit and only she can best tell. She’s one person I’m sure will always be there for me, she has told me so and she has been there for me even before I can remember.

My friend (@Ngendo87), whom I met via social media by the way. I don’t know much about her, but the little I know, is that she’s a lady with a BIG heart. I have bumped into her a couple of times, and I never miss some serious moments of laughter. Her mother is not well and she needs a surgical procedure that will cost Ksh 500,000.

I am touched and I love what social media is doing, it shows that people that you don’t know have hearts out there. They can help you when you need them most and they can spread the word for you. If you can contribute, please do, it comes a long way. If you can’t, spread the word and maybe someone you have told can help out. Follow @TeamBritish if you’re on twitter, and they’ll keep you posted.

God Speed on her mum!

Here’s what she (@Ngendo87) said about the situation the her and her family are in: (Link to her Blog)

I am is the last born in a family of 4 siblings and I have been taking care of my mother since her health started failing.

My mother, British, is 70 years old, and has faced a number of health problems. She has severe arthritis; she has kidney problems and has suffered two strokes. She has also had her right leg amputated twice and now she is due for ankle replacement surgery…again.

British’s problems began in 2000, when she had to have a knee replacement surgery due to arthritis. Luckily, it was sponsored by American doctors, so my family did not feel the financial strain. Later on, in 2002, she had to have an ankle replacement surgery, yet again as a result of the arthritis. This set my family and I back by Sh. 120,000. My siblings and I pulled together to raise the money.

In 2008, British had her leg amputated because of gangrene. At this time, I was out of the country, as were the rest of my siblings. This cost Sh. 150,000. Unfortunately, the doctor did a rush job and wound opened leading to the leg getting infected and this lead to a second amputation. This cost usy Sh. 80,000. Fortunately, though, it was final.

In January 2010, she suffered a stroke due to hypertension, but she completely recovered from it. A year later, in January 2011, she suffered a second stroke, which was more severe than the first one.

My family and I have shouldered the impact of our mother’s illness, financial and otherwise. No health insurance firm is willing to insure British due to her age and her health status. As a result, we resorted to paying NHIF contributions so as to cater for her health needs. The contribution is Sh. 160 a month, and we have made these contributions 10 times in the past year. This has helped us a great deal!

British also visits the doctor once a month because of her kidney problems. This costs us Sh. 2,000 a visit and Ksh. 3,000 for tests to be done. The medicine she takes costs us anything from Sh. 5,000 to Sh. 10,000 a month.

British’s ankle surgery was also not successful, leading to frequent intense pain due to friction in the ankle replacement. British often wakes up screaming and crying because the ‘screw’s that were inserted on her ankle have all disjointed due to limited movement of the limb. The surgery she is due for will remove the screws and she will have an implant which will hold the bones together. It’s a pretty sensitive surgery.

We had to hire 2 homecare nurses and a helper to give British round the clock care. This costs us Sh. 80,000 a month. We have also had to work with a nutritionist who is also another expense but has helped my Mum a great deal by putting together an amazing diet that has seen Mum’s kidney’s and health general improve.

British is a very funny person and for those who have met her can testify her ever positive attitude and zany personality, but at times all these issues weigh the both of us down. British recently lost one of her best friends, and this has dampened her disposition as she feels like she is alone and that she may be next.

After talking to the surgeon, the total cost of the surgery amount to almost Ksh. 500, 000.

God has given me such peace and I know we will raise this amount…somehow! Big up to my Twitter and Facebook friends who are doing such an amazing fundraising job…we are forever indebted!

Mpesa – 0722 325 614  Zap – 0738 503 339

Thanks for reading and spreading the word. The D-Day is 9th May 2011. A Ksh 500 from many people can help raise the amount.

God Bless!

Signing Off ~ *Kawi*