Archive | February 2012

The Dilemma

The one that you’re faced with every so often, of whether to hang on or let go? The amount of baggage we carry around can be so for lack of a better word unnecessary.

Isn’t it just amazing how sometimes we go through things and the thought that crosses your mind is, “How the hell am I going to let go of this or even get over it?” Now that life has it’s up and downs, the downs as much as the ups are, are inevitable. You just never know what, when, how, where or why. They just come out of no where, you know from some place we least thought of and other times it could be from a place we knew right from the start will get us there…down.

Such is life, a beautiful struggle because in as much as we experience pain of any sort, no pain lasts forever. What you hold onto are memories which fade out. Just like a wound, what remains is a scar, which sometimes also clears off, but the pain is not physically there anymore. Good thing … bad thing with the memories, it’s you who chooses what to do with them.  Ever tried to put yourself in a place where you experience some sort of hurt or pain but you cannot even seem to remember how it felt, you can’t even begin to describe it, it’s indescribable.

  • Bang your toe on some hard surface. For a split second there, the pain is beyond. A few minutes later, think about it and try imagine how painful it was and chances are that you can recall it was painful yeah, but you can’t feel it again.
  • Lost love, like, something … yes it hurts at first and you question many things, go through a heart-break and so on but a few days, weeks, months, years (all depends on you) down the line, you look back and you’re like “really?” yeah, you remember it was a rough patch but you feel it no more. It now becomes a memory and you can talk about it, maybe learn from it.
  • Lost or misplaced stuff anything from electronics, accessories, clothes. You’ll feel bad for a while, but then you will get a substitute or replace it and you forget how it actually felt losing whatever it is in the first place.

Not everyone or everything in life is supposed to be fought for, sometimes it’s only reasonable for us to just let go. There are some relations were not meant to mature or to be, there are some things that you have that you’re better of without and the only way for you to get off that relation is by losing whatever it is. The things you fight for are those you have passion for, those that bring benefit to you as a person or that you know was meant to be yours so regardless of the hustles or struggles and you’ll still work for it.

Then there are those you just need to close your eyes, talk to your inner self, let go and no matter how hard it seems just learn to let go of it because it either bogs you down, brings in negative feelings and is no value to you. You know, we can spend so much time and resources trying to make something that’s unworkable work while you know quite well, it won’t work from the beginning. I call it assuming some sort of super power.

Do you experience this? or is it just me…lol. The many times I have, be it with people or objects, pretty sure you have also figured this out, “it’s not rocket science” to know who or what matters to you the most, to know who or what is worth fighting for and what is worth letting go. The funny thing is that sometimes we sugar coat things and try to find the most intrinsic reasons for sticking onto something even when it’s black and white from the word go that it’s not meant to be. A dilemma of how things actually are and you would like things to be. That right there is life, and this right here, is how to handle certain things in life.

In case you were wondering how to simplify life *thank me later* :)

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Friday Musings

Thank God It’s Friday! Long week this has been, very long! From house hunting to having a flu to nursing it and still doing my daily activities. Let’s just say I’m literally thanking God it’s Friday as it welcomes a weekend worth of rest.

Random Thoughts

For whatever reasons we get attached to people, things … catch feelings, get all emo? If only we had hearts of stone. I’m not complaining by the way, I’m just wondering.

I’m Feeling

Indifferent –> In between happy and ‘oh my gosh’ can I just get settled, a bit restless per se.

This Weekend

Hmmm! Let’s see. Just up and about, nothing to write home about.

I’m Craving

If I could have an endless supply of this … nom nom nom!

Songs of the Week

Turn up the music!

I Want and Pray

For the far I have reached, I thank God. For where I’m going, I ask him to lead my path.

Quote Of The Week

To an awesome weekend, to having fun, living, laughing and loving. Stay Safe. XO!

Signing Off ~ *Kawi*

Like You? Would You?


Has this ever crossed your mind -> What if you were told to go on a date with yourself? Do you think you would like you? Would you enjoy your company or would you feel like forcing a fork down your throat because of how bored you’ll get. Maybe it’s about time you experienced what your friends have to go through *evil grin*

Test it and see how that goes. You know the full cuppa hot chocolate since I’m not a tea fan, with cookies and an imaginary you. Okay, that sounds cray but hey how else will you do it. It’s not every day that people are going to be there for you, you know the ones that you think that will always be there. I mean they also have their stuff going on.

So you should be able to be there for yourself and not pity yourself when people those people you count on are not there? For whatever reasons you have to learn this things the hard way, pretty sure it’s happened to you one time or another. It’s happened to me a dozen of times. The times you expect people to be there it could be on your birthday, when you’re going through ish or you’re just happy and you want to share … they could also be all up in their business too and guess who’s left to be there for you? YOU.

You have to find the joy inside of yourself. Make your self laugh, dress up, be able to just chill out, reflect, be in touch with yourself, know how to love you. Basically be there for yourself. For only then, will you be able to know how to be there for others and it’s importance. Difficult as it seems, yes it is, it’s much fun or so it seems when you have someone or people there to help you out, to chill with, have a good laugh with but what if they are not there. Sulk? Be sad? No! Be happy and go on as usual!

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” ~  Lucille Ball

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Cheer Up, It’s Friday

Thank God It’s Friday! That’s me trying to get myself cheered up. Doesn’t feel like quite the Friday if you know what I mean. No wonder I was feeling like the week was dragging, my Friday feel was happening on Wednesday.

Random Thoughts

How have I started experiencing grown-up problems … Jeez! But it’s also amazing how things just end up falling into place when you put a little bit of effort here and there. Plus also have a network of people who can help out. Thank God!

I’m Feeling

Mini – frustrated (just a tiny winy little bit). I just hope it doesn’t escalate any further.

This Weekend

One of my friends is has a Birthday Party … fellow Aquarius mate! Happy Earthday (I was told that’s the cool way of saying Happy Birthday) @Mwais_Pride. My baby sister is coming home for mid-term so I’ll also be home-bound :)

I’m Craving

Nothing foody, atleast for now. Feel like doing something stupidly funny and this just he he

Songs of the Week

I attribute all my psyche for the entire week to one woman called Toya DeLazy. I think if she churns out Albums this will be the first one I will buy very willingly because of how good she is. Okay enough!

I Want and Pray

I want and pray that I get a way better house than the one I have (will be ‘had’ in not so long) the soonest possible … Amen!

That Moment 

Quote Of The Week

Here’s the one thing you shouldn’t forget ↓

To an awesome weekend, to having fun, living, laughing and loving. Stay Safe. XO!

Signing Off ~ *Kawi*

This L.O.V.E Thing

This L.O.V.E thing

What do you mean when you say it?

Where does it come from?

What faculty registers it?

How do you say it?

When is the right time to say it?

Who do you say it to?

Do they appreciate it when you say it?

What do you feel when you have love?

Well, this love has a way of making you question everything. The who, what, when, where, how? In my view, love is supposed to be unconditional, it’s not supposed to arouse doubt. You don’t really have to say it for one to know that you love them, sometimes it’s all in the actions more than in the words. Saying it is just a form of affirmation, to make known what is already known and felt.

My reference for love is always the bible. That’s the definition of love that makes the most sense, it’s what I like relating to.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love ~ 1st Corinthians 13:13

Don’t we all look love directly or indirectly from our family, friends, spouses? Yes, it does make your world go round, believe it or not. So embrace it everyday after all even God is love. Don’t be embarrassed or ashamed to love, I think it’s a pretty admirable quality.

Now that my friend sent me this, that’s what we are celebrating today *insert cheeky grin* it’s never that serious. I mean not all of us have ‘valentine dates’ so we might as well embrace the situation…lol

Song of the day

Is’n’t Toya DeLazy just amazing! That’s my psyche song for the day —–> “The more I know, the more I grow cause life is beautiful I don’t regret this road. I’ve lived to know one life, one love, one flow you just gotta know. You know this life can crush your goals you gotta know you’re not alone. It’s in your mind you jail your soul fly free and live life”

Quote of the day

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails” ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4

Okay let me just suck it up. Happy Valentines *choke* Day to all my people, said with lot’s L.O.V.E … xo!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Peachy Friday

Thank God It’s Friday! Long week this one has been. By the end of each day I was feeling like I’ve just been run down by a track. Days when dosing in the evening classes looked very attractive. Disclaimer:  Although I didn’t now that I sit the front row because I am always ‘on time’.

Random Thoughts

Question people ask makes me just smh! Why are you always smiling? Why is a beautiful girl like you not ummmm O_o ? Why do people ask such questions?

I’m Feeling

Very Peachy :D

This Weekend

I’ll just be up and about … anything to keep up the happy spirit.

I’m Craving

Specifically in the yummy cones for Mamma Mia at Sarit Center. Next time I’m there, I’m doing a variety not the usual vanilla or chocolate chip. Need to try out different flavors, been doing that lately on lots of stuff.

Songs of the Week

This is such a me song. Jesse J always does it for me :)

I Want and Pray

This is pretty lame but where the hell can I get this angry birds dolls (or whatever they would call them)? I would love me one of those. A belated birthday gift would do (trust me to still go on about it :p )

Well, I pray that I am able to make good investments *wink* especially in my relations.

Quote Of The Week

Yah yah! I think so too

To an awesome weekend, to having fun, living, laughing and loving. Stay Safe. XO!

Signing Off ~ *Kawi*

You’ve got to be kidding…

It’s amusing how our lives are alike, more like ‘same script different cast’. Has your friend ever told you a story and you go, ‘you’ve got to be kidding, me too’. The same thing they have been through, you have also been through just in a different setting and with different people. I tend to think that’s how life is, that’s how it teaches you lessons. It’s like trying to tell you, ‘you aren’t alone in this’, so get yourself together and try to do something different this time round. Worse yet, if it’s something that’s beyond your control then there’s some sense of consolation that there’s someone else who understands and knows exactly how it feels or can basically relate with you in regards to the matter.

I know right! Quite awkward but interesting all together. Such is life, and I think that’s the purpose and essence of acquaintances, friends and mentors. Something is really nagging you? You’re dying to tell someone something? Just go spill it out of course to a trusted deposit and what you should withdraw from them should be something that’s of worth. It could be just a listening ear or it could be them having been in a similar situation and telling you how they went about it or them helping you out.

This relations that we build with people are synonymous to making investments. With an investment you always want more, and as a result even from your relations you always want the outcome to be more than your input … right?  Then again there are different kinds of investments on different levels. So based on the one that you embark on you can determine what kind of returns you should be expecting.

Well to say the truth, I’m the kind of person who doesn’t know how to follow-up with some investments. Pretty bad trait, now that I actually put much thought of it I think 25 is doing things to me. An investments needs to be taken care of, to be nurtured, to be checked up on every so often so to know the time to ‘strike while the iron is hot’ so that you can make profits and benefit greatly from it. And it’s not all the time that things are going well, considering certain factors, there’s the good times and the bad times. Good investors however, always strive for the good, so they work through the bad times to make some magic.

Well, to say the least, I’m not a fighter especially for boy-girl relationships at least up until I thought about this … I give up easily. For other-non related things, I am patient, persevering through the good and the bad. So for the ‘very cliché question’ why I’m still … umm let me sugar coat it, not really seeing someone, that could be the sole reason. I’m always running away or just silently slipping off without even noticing it … Okay, that’s a lie. I do notice, just that there’s nothing much I can do about it …sure there is but I don’t… so I just let it slide.

Seeing as I hate insisting on stuff especially people, when I feel like I’m insisting or I feel detached I sit my beautiful tush down and do what I do best, let it slide or just think, ‘whoever is not just that into you’. Very bad trait yah! okay don’t say. Now that I have noticed, I should work on it, I’m trying *insert cheeky grin* because everything including that needs to be fought for or at least be given a chance or the light of day. Is there someone else saying ‘you’ve got to be kidding, me too’ and you’ve probably overcome the situation? Maybe you can share how it’s done … lol (seriously though).

All in all, I do appreciate everyone who has played a role in my life in one way or another, if you know me, you know I never take such for granted even the cleaning lady. However, that serious one that includes, love, heart breaks and a mixture of a million emotions … Yikes! God help.

Hope your week has been fruitful? But damn, it’s really flying … I wonder to where to.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*