Archive | April 2013

Of Fading Smiles

Sometimes I have moments of weird realization. Like now. When you think of life and how it is and you just nod your head and give God an imaginary High Five. How in a split second things can happen, a turn around. Not that anything has happened to me, am just thinking, with life, you live for the moment. Literally. If you’re happy now, be happy don’t suppress it. The next moment someone could just dumped your moods and everything goes up side down for you. It could be something as simple as a minor disagreement. All over sudden it becomes the elephant in the room and your smile slowly fades.

How one could be smiling on the outside, but crushing in the inside. I am not one to deny that I do that a lot. I can be in a happy mood, but somewhere at the far corner or maybe a big part of my heart, there is something is probably bothering me. Or just by the fact that I cannot involve other people in my personal problem when I have one, I still need to show that everything is okay. You crawl back to my cocoon and your smile slowly fades.

You meet a friend in the streets, of course you’re happy to see them and they are happy to see you. It’s all smiles, despite what’s going on in your lives. You forget your problems for a moment as you remember all the good things, the good times. Then they walk away and you’re back to normalcy, maybe you were feeling inadequate, unloved, frustrated or just … you know one of those shitty days where you feel like the world is against you, then your smile slowly fades.


Don’t keep that smile away for too long though. You just never know who’s falling in love with it. It’s always in the smile. They say, but I think so too. So even when it’s fading away, am the positive kind, I will force my mind to think of that one thing or two or more that are bound to make me smile. Like for instance how I’ve just managed to finish up my thesis document. Now just some corrections from the supervisors and I start getting ready for the defence … teren, teren! Then I could be finally graduating and giving my imaginary speech…lol. I also have exams right now, I had even almost forgotten about them.

It’s labour day tomorrow! Yaaay for a weekend in the middle of the weekday. I just can’t wait to be done with all these reading stuff. Maybe I can have my almost normal life once again.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*


The Thin Line Between Independence and Dependence

If there’s one thing that confuses me or I just seem not to understand is where to draw the line between independence and dependence. So  that you can understand where I am coming from, let me give you my mini-story. I have the most amazing parents, let’s just start there. My baby sister can be the witness. We’ve never lacked what we need. We’re not rich per se, we’re wealthy but not materially. What am trying to say is we have been able to get what we need, not necessarily what we want. While I was growing up, I was under a good shelter in good neighbourhoods,  I ate delish food (save for the githeri days and how I devour it nowadays), went to very good schools, dressed well by my standards. All this was provided by both my parents in their different capabilities. I grew up seeing both my parents work and provide for the family.

independent woman, woman, finances

Miss Independent

Somehow I knew when my parents had money and when they didn’t. They didn’t have to really tell us. It wasn’t rocket science that mid-month was a tricky time to ask for something pricey. My mum was very open about her finances, my dad oh well, you know men. He wasn’t, but he made it clear when he didn’t have and when he got it if whatever it is you’re asking for made sense to him and he had the resource, he would take you to get it. Lucky me huh? I was blessed, still am. The other thing I was indirectly taught was how to budget my money, work around what I have and not live beyond my means.

My dad faithfully gave me money for lunch and transport every single day all through my undergraduate studies. He never asked me to work (unless ironing his shirts, washing his car or serving him food and coffee counts) or find means to get that money. It didn’t probably mean much then but it definitely means more than much now. This is because I know the struggle. After I got my very first job, which was not ‘oh so glorious’ but left me with the best experience, I promised myself that I will never borrow money even from my parents. I will  really work hard to provide for myself. My reasoning being that the two most important people in my life (the parents) have worked their asses off for me to get here so that I can be self-sufficient and independent. That’s just what I always strive to be. I want to be able to take care of them when they old, I want to chip in where I’m need or even sometimes not.

Did that make me who I am today? To a very large extent it did. It influenced my thought process with regards to independence. In my head, it’s make it or make it. There’s no other option. One thing I would never want on me is the inability to provide for (to the very least) myself. I wouldn’t want someone else to be responsible for me. I mean, that’s why my parents worked hard to ensure they’ve armed me with the resources that will ensure I am able to be independent. You get my drift right?

Then here comes the problem, where do you draw that line of independence and dependence when you’re in a relationship or when you’re married? I have attended some bridal showers and girl discussions that put the man in charge of certain things, actually most if not all things. He’s the sole provider, the one who handles the big bills. The woman is the one who takes care of him you know, make sure he’s cleaned up, well fed, happy and such like non-material things. I don’t disagree with this, but that’s how it used to be ages ago. Now we’re evolving. The economy is as well. Does it allow for the woman to be completely dependent on the man? I’m talking about the average man, not the president or the president of a multinational. The man who’s probably at the same level with you work-wise. You have the same fears, struggles, opportunities and so on.

Some may say if you give them that role to be the sole provider, they’ll be more hard-working and they will ensure that there’s bread on the table come rain or sunshine. That’s nice but with so many but’s on my part. What will make the man not look down on you as the woman who’s dependent on him? What if one day he finds it burdensome? What if you’re indebted to him, such that it becomes a blackmail for you to do things for him because he’s the sole provider. These things happen. We are human and we have feelings, especially when most of the pressure is exerted on you.

I’m not for that school of thought, it makes me cringe at the thought. I’m for the school of thought of sharing responsibilities. Why? Because I think it’s only fair. If the man feels like providing much more, thank God *chuckles*. I wouldn’t mind being offloaded some responsibilities. I mean, who wouldn’t? However, I stick to sharing is caring. If you split roles based on your financial ability. When you’re open with each other it’s easier because then someone won’t be overburdened with responsibilities they can’t handle. We need to have two scenarios though for those who are secretive. List down all the bills (not personal bills like the salon, new shirt, new shoes, no), bills that affect both of you (house rent/mortgage , electricity, water, savings, house shopping, school fees, TV e.t.c), then you can decide who does what or how you’ll help each other pay these or achieve these together. Then you can remain with your other money which you’ll use to your own liking. No one in the house will judge you if you decide to do some impulse buys because you’ve handled your stuff. I am probably saying this because am so used to being independent in terms of handling my own responsibilities. I don’t know how it’ll be when I have to split them up with my other half. I will write a post in future and refer to this one.

I hate asking for things especially things money related. I don’t like being told NO, and chances are that if its money related there will be a long explanation probably leading to a NO. That being one of the reason I believe in maintaining my independence. At least I don’t have to ask someone, just consult if what I am investing in is worth while. What about if he offers to provide? I am all for it, I won’t refuse of course. Now I can say that. Before (1 or so years ago) I used to feel weird when someone who’s not my parents buys me something (gifts). I used to think it’s because they want something back or something will be expected back in future. You know how parents can drill that into you so that you don’t rely on other people. To some extent that was true.

As you grow, you have to know how to differentiate those people that give because they expect something in return and those who give just because they love to do so and don’t expect anything in return.

You don’t want to be indebted or owe someone something because you were dependent on them at one point or another. It’s also good to know the kind of person you’re with. Is it someone who willingly shares responsibility with you or is it something you’re forcing on to them. I believe if it’s voluntarily, you won’t feel burdened but if it’s not you’ll need some jail breaking. Also, I think the independence is viewed more material than it is immaterial. We forget we also need independence in our thoughts, skills, abilities and so on. The big conclusion is that while we’re independent we still want our men to be there for us by all means. For the love, support, encouragement, company, protection among very other many things. Don’t you?

independent, dependent, men, women


NeYo also had something to say about the independent woman. What are your views on this? Miss Independent or Miss Dependent, what’s your take?

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Stuck in a Box?

Yesterday as I was walking home I had one of those moments of deep thought. I was thinking about fear, doubt, indecision and all those things that come to you when you’re supposed to do something that is to some extent out of your comfort zone. It’s like we have as part of our factory settings that function called “FEAR”. This leads you to lack belief in whatever you’re engaging in, doubt that you’ll be able to go through it or even do it, and indecision, you can’t seem to know which direction to take, what to do.

stuck in a box, fear

I think this function incapacitates you for a moment. If you allow it, it could be for a life time. It’s like you’re stuck in a box and you think how there’s no life outside it. Or rather how will you manage life outside that box that you’re oh so used to? It’s already comfortable, it’s enough. Then why go ahead and try out something that doesn’t necessarily promise you the comfort of this box? Many of us live inside that box, we do everything in our ability to convince ourselves that that box is all we need and anything past that is not that necessary. But is that the case really?

We humans were born curious but also inherently fearful of things both known and unknown. It’s good when you fear God, but bad when the fear hinders you from exploring your curiosity. It’s that curiosity that will tell you, “that box is growing too small for you” or “there’s something called ‘claustrophobia’ and that box could be the cause”. You know those things that will make you do everything in your ability to want to get out of that box. This box, it’s just not a box. Just think of all those things that you think of or imagine of doing and they make you cringe even at the thought of it. It could be anything.

For instance, the thought of starting my thesis gave me the total creeps. I wondered about the topic, where I will get the research stuff, how I will write it up, how I will defend it, how I will do the questionnaires, how I will analyze them and finally how I’ll defend the final thesis. It was all about the why’s, where’s and how’s. Surprisingly, I am past half the trouble. I tell you the fear is real, up until you remove the doubt and make that decision that gets you out of your comfort zone and work at make those things work for you. That’s just one example. There are so many others things or situations that still get me thinking, “hmmm, how will I even do that or how will I get there.”

Are you stuck in a box and wondering how you could ever kick yourself out of it? Just do it, Nike couldn’t have said it better. Outside the box will at some point become inside the box once you adapt to it. You build comfort over time. Then you’re at your curious stage once again, where you get bigger than the box. It’s a vicious cycle.

I highly doubt there’s a point someone will be completely at peace in their comfort zone, even at the point of self-actualization (recall Maslow’s hierarchy of needs). We’re always looking for more successful, more satisfying, more and more things. Your wanting list grows exponentially. If that’s the case, is it fit to be called a comfort zone? It doesn’t seem so comfortable after all, because even when we think it is, we’re yearning for more comfort as we chase what’s outside our box.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Stupendous Snippets

Ever had those days that you don’t expect something magical to happen, then voilà! Out of the blues someone, something happens. It could be a brilliant “out of the ordinary” idea, an awesome find, a delicious something, a successful plan, some awesome company, or a SALE. Not because it’s out of this world, but because it is just what it is.

My girlfriend E discovered a sale on some shoes then when she was going to show me hers I spot a two pair  as well. They were on sale, got them without putting too much thought into it. After all, at the back of my head I have been saying I need some extra pair of heels to rock my dresses that I will add to my small collection. Plus the heel was just right, can’t walk in 6″ heels, I’ll gully creep after a few steps…lol


Red and Black Pumps…

All these good things were happening on Friday, including these rubber shoes. I was on my way home and I happened to pass through the mall, I think I’m a supermarket addict. Sometimes I just go just because it’s there. Then of  course I buy something that I didn’t really need. Bata had just opened a new branch at the mall so I walked in just to see what they had in stock without the intention of buying anything. Then as I looked around, I see rubber shoes. Black ones. They were cheap and on 20% discount, why not have them? Okay, I got them.

Rubber Shoes

Bata Rubber Shoes…

It wasn’t all about shoes though. If you recall, I moved to a normal house…lol, you know what I mean. One with a full sitting room, and I had wondered how I’ll be accommodating people who come visit me. See I care about you, I can’t just subject you to the carpet. I only had one seat and that wasn’t enough. Getting extra seats is an expensive affair and I wasn’t going to invest in that at least this month or the next. So what to do? My parents being old school were saying plastic seats O_o, ah ah! My sister was like no never, haha! Then the boyfriend suggested poofs … BRILLIANT! I call my furniture guy, he gets my concept and fixes me something to my liking.

Poofs, my alternative to seats for now.

Poofs, my alternative to seats for now.

There are those people who make your rather boring weekend or days rather interesting. You know how they bug you, they bully you, they care for you, they make you laugh, the piss you off, they make it up, they love you, they enjoy being around you, they want your attention, they don’t want it, they’re complicated, but I understand them. The two munchkins here are those people for me. They’re a hand-full and they both happen to be lastborns, gosh the pressure! They look spoilt yah?

The Lastborns

The Lastborns and the Firstborn Me

Remember the FREE medical check up out reach I was telling you about the other day? Well, it happened this Sunday and I am proud to say that it was a success as the turn out was pretty good for a start. Considering our target was mainly the women and mothers in Kahawa Wendani community and surrounding areas. It could have been far for you but they’ve got to start from somewhere ain’t it? To bigger better and closer to you next time. I would like to urge people to push their people to go for these random medical check ups. They may seem not so important, but they are. Even if you’re not doing it for you, at least do it for your loved ones.

FREE Medical Check Up at Rithika Medical Centre

FREE Medical Check Up Out Reach at Rithika Medical Centre

I saw this one on the internet and I am definitely stealing that design. I can see myself in it already. A girl’s got to show a bit of leg you know. It looks absolutely stunning, and the lady in it has definitely done it some well deserved justice.

What do you think?

What do you think?

Other things I was up to over the weekend:


The voice. This is one is way better than Idols, which is way better than our local project fame. The artiste is judged  by their voice (talent) and not how they look. Then once they’re in, they’re coached by grammy award artistes. The likes of Adam Levine *swoon*, Cello Green, Christina Aguilera and Blake Shelton. I was literally glued to the T.V. It’s an amazing show. It shows you how people go through stuff, but still hold on to their talent.

It also goes ahead to bring out the importance of family and friends who are like family. They’re the only ones who stand by you when you’re hitting rock bottom, and when you’re soaring in the skies.


Housework. I discoverd that I get so many ideas running through my mind when I am busy doing housework. That’s when I think of what I want, where I want to be, what I want to do and such like things. Strange huh? But getting there always needs some extra mojo, who likes doing housework anyway? Plus it’s a form of exercise or so I’d like to convince myself.


To Size 8 – Mateke and Sauti Sol – Still the One. The new local singles that have just been released. I like, totally like!


A stereo! I want one I don’t know why, but I really want one.


That what you’ve hoped for comes to be. Sometimes our hopes and wishes may take a while to come to be, maybe they’re giving us time to be sure that that’s what we want, just in case we change our minds or it was just a thing of the moment. Because when they come to be, they come in ten fold. Like you’ve got to pinch yourself to make sure that what is happening is really happening and you’re not dreaming.

Has that ever happened to you? It’s happened to me a couple of times, and I’m still looking forward to more and more. My hope tank is still full…lol. Thanking God everyday.

The weather may be dull and blue but may your Monday and the rest of your week be full of sunshine. Blessings!

Signing Off ~~~*Kawi*

FREE Medical Check Up – Thika Road

With our lifestyles changing every other day, we need to be sure that our body is also taking that change positively. You can be sitting on your desk, making your daily work or school rounds or just chilling and enjoying life and thinking that your body is fine. That you’re in tip-top shape. That’s you thinking. Thinking doesn’t mean that it actually is. Just because you haven’t experienced some pain here or some itch in some awkward place there doesn’t mean everything is okay. It’s important to have your body checked by a medical practitioner. You know to have a second opinion that your health is clean and crisp. You cannot rely on your feelings alone.

With that in mind. It’s recommended that people have medical check up’s annually, sometimes half-yearly or quarterly depending on your lifestyle or your preference. Rithika Medical Centre, which is a new clinic has realized this gap and seeks to make sure that you have health in check done every so often. Do you live along Thika Road? Even better for you. You should have this medical check up as part of your Sunday plan. It could be before or after church for those of you who go, for those who sleep in, you have the afternoon to do so. Happening this Sunday 14th April 2013 is a FREE medical check up by the specialists at Rithika Medical Centre between 8:00AM and 5:00PM.

Medical Check Up

Check up details. Ps: This is a scanned copy!

Taking care of your wealth through your health. Basically, your health is their concern.

You can have all the money in the world but if you don’t have good health, the money doesn’t mean much. Prevention by all means is better than cure. You get to know your health status and that of your loved ones. Should there be a problem, you’ll be offered a solution. So have no worries, if there’s one thing I can assure you, you’ll be in good hands. Don’t I look healthy and happy? *wink*. Have friends who live along Thika Road? Or can get their way there and you think they could do with a medical check up? Please share the good news with them. Sharing is caring, but sharing something that could save them some money and make sure that their health is in check, that’s caring on another level. Be that friend.

Services Offered at Rithika Medical Center. Ps: Scanned Copy!

Services Offered at Rithika Medical Center. Ps: This is a scanned copy!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Your State House

We spent 9th April 2013, following up on the presidential inauguration process for those of us who weren’t able to attend it physically. Well, because we didn’t receive V.I.P invitation cards…lol. Truth be told though, there’s no way I would squeeze my way into the crowd to watch it and the media has ensured that the whole event was being aired live. I think you even get to witness it better when watching it from the comfort of your couch. You can switch channels when a boring choir comes on or when there’s a delay in arrivals, better yet snooze then wake up for the speeches or go grab some snacks in the kitchen you get what I mean. All the same, a historical moment that will go down the books happened. So it’s a date worth remembering. Also, for the sake of your kids, you’ll probably have to narrate this story sometime in future.

On a non-serious note depends on how you look at it I like that our president and vice presidents are eloquent. You know, very convincing, audible, precise and most of all young and hip aka “the dynamic duo”. There will be no more cringing during national or informal speeches. Is it just me or did you ever have moments of “I don’t know what you’ll say next, but please be subtle” when Kibaki made informal speeches. I know they were humorous and all, but I think I’m kind of relieved. I don’t have to wonder anymore how he converses with dignitaries and the likes. Things that keep you up at night…ha ha!

Kibaki Hands Over

Source: Outgoing President Mwai Kibaki hands over instruments of Power and Authority (the Commander-in-chief’s ceremonial sword and the constitution) to President Uhuru Kenyatta during the State Installation of the 4th President of Kenya at Kasarani Sports Complex, Nairobi.

We saw the new president-elect being sworn in as Hon. His Excellency President Uhuru Muigai Kenyatta and the Deputy President William Ruto. I’m happy that this finally came to be. It had been a long time coming. With so many doubts and unsurities along the way we were able to come to an agreement of who deserves what. I guess fair trial in the end. I wasn’t also so sure about how everything will turn out but since inception I had prayed for the best outcome and for a peaceful election. I didn’t know who was the best presidential candidate, we all had our opinions and a choice of 8. As you know, for each person, their opinions rules and politics is pretty sensitive. If there’s one discussion I didn’t enjoy, it’s that of politics. I hated the analysts on T.V. too I don’t know why the bring them on. They didn’t help my judgement in any way, the debates on the other hand really did.

I’m glad that whole politics things especially in regard to elections is over. Who’s with me here? Now we can deal with more pertinent matters. Like how to make better our economy, fix things. The new government has made promises, many promises. The frameworks, the policies, but most of all the reforms. I am one of those hopeful Kenyans. I want to see and experience how all these promises will be executed and how they will involve the common mwananchi who doesn’t have links in the government while at it.

Congratulations Kenyans for a job well done and for the bright future ahead of us.


As Uhuru enters the national State House he already did, also enter your own State House and run with it. Yours is not the actual presidential State House *quips* with the a million and one rooms, I mean the proverbial one. You’re the president of your life. I don’t know where in the bible it says but I’ve definitely seen it and read it. That God gave you dominion over your life (the power and the authority to govern and control it). So even as we wait and expect the government to develop the country, they will probably play their role in doing so, I believe. But they will not come to you as an individual and develop you. You have to do it yourself. You have to work harder than ever, you have to push yourself to the limits.

Nothing comes easy. You want a good life? You have to chase it. It’s that girl who plays “hard to get” or that man who’s not akin to commitment. Quite slippery, but it can be caught eventually.

If you think about it critically, even the president worked quite hard to get to where he is. His team mates worked even harder to make sure that they get him to where he is. So we are no exception. The reforms they’ll make will create opportunities for us, which will mean that someone has to take them on. Opportunities are like a gold mine, do nothing and nothing will come off them. It will just be land like any other. Do something and you’ll have gold and other minerals at your disposal. Dig deeper and deeper until it becomes the opportunities become something tangible, that have a positive effect in your life.

I’m also not too sure how this will go for me as well but I am all macho. Let me start thinking how I can develop my personal and professional life via this opportunities. LOL, definitely not the babies one at least for now, they said free maternity in public hospitals and free laptops for class 1 kids in public schools. I foresee a baby boom next year. Wololo, there’s more to babies than that don’t be deceived. Don’t forget to analyse some of these opportunities before taking them up. All the best while at it and God bless Kenya!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*


It was a trending topic yesterday and it got me thinking of all the things that made my childhood the best childhood ever. From the cartoons (looney toons, saber rider, road runner, sonic the hedge hog, Denver, sky dancers, captain planet, anamaniacs, lion king e.t.c), to the snacks (goodie goodie’s, super snack, crunchie, ball gums, kashata’s e.t.c), the programmes (fresh prince, full house, martin, derrik, sunset beach, sister sister, seventh heaven, Tausi, Tahamaki, club kiboko lol e.t.c. ), the games (shake, rounders, brikicho ‘hide-n-seek’, cha mama, scrambo e.t.c) that kept me outside till dark when the house-help comes looking for you to go take a bath (that bit wasn’t fun). There was the music ( brandy, 3T’s, Monica, soul for real, sisqo, DMX, Ja-Rule, Bow Wow childhood celebrity crush e.t.c). How we would do cut outs from the Sunday paper on exercise books to get the lyrics so that we can sing-along when their songs are playing. Growing up in the 90’s was just it. There was so much time to do out door things especially as kids. I think it gave us so much room for development (both mental and physical). We had time to have socialize with neighbors and have fun while at it. Now? I don’t even know who my neighbors are and I don’t see me getting to know them any time soon.

It was the era between non-technology and technology. Technology has changed things I tell you. From the great wall black and white  T.V’s to colored now digital / L.E.D /3D TV’s. Cartoons are now more than ever complicated, they force the kid to grow up so fast. Games are even worse (from the simple brick game and adventure / fighting games (super mario, tekken, street fighter and so on) – now we’re on simulators for games). I am just wondering in the next say 30 years how life will be? There will be a gadget for doing everything. You will basically need to do nothing. Currently everyone is working on making life extra ordinarily easier. I can bet people may eventually end up not knowing each other offline.

Then there are just those things that were the best at taking “pain” away. Especially if you’re feeling unwell. You know kids,  they get sick every so often. Then your mum very appropriately asks you, “*insert home name*, what do you want to eat today?”. I would really like to know what some of your responses were. Mine was always an automatic, “FRIES and SAUSAGE”. I mean, I didn’t even have to think about it. Sometimes that would even make me forget that I was actually sick when the excitement checks in. But you know, you have to maintain your sick act or else the next day you’ll be up in the morning preparing for school…lol (that preparing for school in the morning part wasn’t fun. I remember there was a time I was so sleepy after the help woke me up, and instead of going to bathe I went ahead to sleep in the bath tub and she didn’t notice, my mother wasn’t amused ha ha. It’s never been repeated).

This previous Easter weekend, in the midst of all the moving we decided to make home fries. Best decision since I genuinely love home fries. Home-made fries can make me happy any day, any time as the taste is … oh so delish. So we started the preparations of making home fries. I was the one doing the potato peeling, then the boyfriend took over and made the chips slices. Talk of someone who complements your weaknesses. Yes, making chips slices is not my forte.

Cooking Fries, Ribena, Kenya

Then somehow, he’s the one who took over the rest of the frying. I was not allowed to comment on anything and when I started “won’t they burn”, “isn’t the heat too much” … I was shoo’ed off the kitchen. Some sausages were added to complete the meal. Plus what’s a meal without chilled ribena. I was in heaven for a moment, that’s redefined yumminess. It was nostalgic. Just that this time we’re the one’s making them. At least no one was sick and the following day was work day, no excuse for not waking up early.

Well, thanks to technology, in future I intend to get a potato peeler, a potato cutter (you know the ones that help you cut potato into chips) and a chips maker. This will eliminate the effort used to make this meal. But are they all necessary really? They make work easier yes, but don’t they spoil all the fun involved? We had fun prepping this home-made fries and the effort made them even taste better. What’s your take though?

I wonder what the “cure meal” for kids nowadays is?

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*