Archive | May 2013

Friday Snippets

Thank God It’s Friday!

Thank God It’s Friday!

I am not into flowers, but this one did brighten my day. I think it’s how the colors have been absorbed into the silkiness of the rose petals. I can’t even believe I am actually saying that. This is me who’s very anti-flowers. This one made me melt, just a bit.

WATCHING

Glee Ssn 4, I think I’m just in love with musicals. It keeps me awed the whole time. The Following, my friend recommended it and she was so enthusiastic on how nice it is. I would recommend it to you with the same enthusiasm for sure.

LOVING

My work. It’s not every day that your leader realises what you love doing and they try in every way to give you a push towards it. I am grateful.

LISTENING TO

Jack Johnson – Sleep Through the Static. I have just been given this album by a colleague and I can’t get over the Angel song.

READING

Paulo Coelho – Aleph. Decided to start with what I have and haven’t read. You know the saying, ‘it’s right under your nose.’ The book was just accumulating dust on my shelf. Now blowing it off to see what it has to offer.

EATING

Pork. I LOVE how the boyfriend cooks it (yes, he can cook, not bragging but yummers). It’s the far taste of the salt and spices and the near taste of honey. Let’s just say I lick my lips, fingers and almost my plate, this is to maintain your decent thoughts of me. It’s one of those meals I never want to finish.

LOOKING FORWARD TO

Road trip to Meru tomorrow with the parents. Now that my baby sister pulled out of the plan. We’re going to the farm, can’t wait to see how hard they’ve worked on making it a home away from home for us. The things parents do for their children.

SAVING FOR

Still, I got my mind on a ‘get-a-way’ trip and a ‘get-a-way’ trip on my mind.

PLANNING FOR

Handing in the final corrected copy of my thesis. Crossing my fingers that the process goes through quick, so that I can bind them, then I am all set for graduation *woop woop*. This is awesome, can’t wait to be done and say adiós to masters. It looked like such a difficult milestone to achieve, but it isn’t after all. With God everything is possible, I mean this is those tiny peanuts to him. Even though it looks like a mountain to us…lol

THANKING

My colleagues. We had this event called Infinite Possibilities that we were organising and in my books it was such a successful premier event. It will be happening every first Thursday of the month (next one being on 4th July 2013 at Westgate Theatre and it’s free). Follow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/InfinitePossibilitiesEvent and Twitter: https://twitter.com/ip_event (or @ip_event). Tell a friend, tag a friend along, recommend a friend, who you think their real African Story would inspire us or would be inspired by this event. Let’s make this a big deal like it is.

To more laughing, living and loving. Let your weekend be nothing short of interesting, blessings!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

#overlycool

Relationships are not a walk in the park. You know the kind that you’re used to every other day,  your easy walk, where you know all the cool spots, where you will stop, have a chit-chat, laugh, walk, run do your thing and it makes you have that warm fuzzy feeling because it’s your regular dose. No, no, relationships are not that walk in the park. I would say, it’s more of a trip to the jungle. In a jungle you’ve never been to. It’s a first of its kind.

Big Foot. Small Foot.

Big Foot. Small Foot.

Imagine the thoughts that run through your mind when you’re told that you need to start preparing yourself for a trip to the jungle. I know right. Personally this is what would run through my mind; What do you carry with you, what do you leave behind, what are you going to find there, what will the trip do to you, will you have fun, will you have really scary moments like when you have to face lions, bears, snakes and all those scary animals you could think of that would be found in the jungle, will you find the happy place, like the meadow, where you can watch the beautiful scenery of the jungle, where the animals meet to drink water, where there lake meets the sky and the sun sets in the beautiful horizon.

That’s what a relationship is. You just don’t know what to expect, good things, bad things, confusing things. You are allowed to prepare yourself mentally when you’re getting into one, you can make all these arrangements. Like have a list of qualities you want your significant other to have, what you want your relationship to be like, what you don’t want it to be like. Then you get into it, and you want to apply all this plans you had. Like the jungle, some will work, others just won’t. Sometimes you have to deal with situations as they are, not based on what your plans were, but look at the situation and make judgement there and then. If you wait to ask around or start looking back at your “guide-book” you’ll  miss the point. That’s what relationships bring to the table.

The jungle that is the relationship could be where you find yourself. Where you find what it is that creeps or pisses the hell-out-of you and what it is that makes you happy and content with your current situation. Through this jungle, despite it not being a simple, predictable and a not so smooth journey, you find out whether your partner is the person who you want to experience all these confusions with. The confusion that is the creepiness and the beauty the jungle holds. In life, we all want to be loved, to be happy but we can never do that alone, unfortunately. Humans were created to want and need, to love, to hate, to be scared and all other related things. We have family and friends, but I don’t know how God did this, how he made us to want to have just that one main person. That one person that you connect with in a way that’s different from how you connect with your friends and family. That’s what is overly cool. How far you’d  go to make sure that you make it through the jungle with this other person. It’s in the sacrifices, the compromises, the thoughts, the expectations, the laughter, the tears, the sharing, the loving and the caring. That’s my overly cool. What’s yours?

overlycool

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Friday Snippets

Love

Thank God It’s Friday!

WATCHING

Assault on Wall Street, that movie was just sad *to tears* and my baby sister recommended it O_O. I am pretty sure if we were watching it together we’d make fun of each other depending on who gets teary first. The signs are always a straight face, extreme concentration, watery eyes and then the balancing tears act which sells you out.

The movie made me really think about investment banks and insurance. You spend your youthful life saving and investing for the future in stuff like real estate, stocks, bonds and so on via brokers of these firms. Then when you need the money the most, these institutions have apparently been involved in some accounting fraud so your life savings are no more and your bills keep accumulating. Crap! It’s unbelievable. And we wonder why we have angry and murderous people in this world. These situations make you heartless. Watch it, then let me know what you think.

LOVING

My family and my boyfriend (he’s my other family). Their support is *in Kanye language*, cray! If that’s not what love is, I don’t know what love is. I see them, I see what love is about.

LISTENING TO

A bit of this and that. On shuffle with the likes Owl City, Ed Sheeran, John Legend, Lecrae, Locals, Avicii, Brad Paisely e.t.c. It’s a high-low up in here.

READING

Can you imagine, nothing! That looks really bad on me, I should pick up something this weekend. Even if it’s an e-book, now that I got a smart phone. Yeah, I had to say that somewhere. Still learning how to use it, but it sure feels good to finally own one. It’s had been long overdue.

xperia SL

Sony Xperia SL

EATING

Blueberry cup cake. I want to learn how to bake in the near future. I need to make myself some of these yummy cupcakes and such like things. I usually feel like people who bake are on a different level, it must be a warm fuzzy feeling to be able to bake a delicious spongy cake. I am officially jealous.

LOOKING FORWARD TO

Going to Meru to visit our farm next weekend. There are so many developments *read blessings* happening in our farm, I need to go and witness. Might just start organising a house-warming there soon. I could start making the guest list now, who wants in?

SAVING FOR

A get-a-way trip to “I don’t know where” and when, but it needs to happen soon.

PLANNING FOR

Our bible study. I kind of figured that you need a foundation to base your relationship. A spiritual one isn’t bad. At least you have live examples of the issues people experienced and how they dealt with them. Thank God the boyfriend shares the same vision as me, so it won’t be as difficult a project to start. To keep it consistent is the challenge but why not cross the bridge when we get there.

It’s so easy to get bored of bible stuff, I don’t know why. Or feel ashamed to read it, but I think it holds so much information, knowledge and wisdom that we keep searching in all other wrong places. Let’s see how that goes.

THANKING

My dad! He’s that guy. The best dad I could ever ask for. We’ve had our moments when growing up, you know kids and the parents…drama galore, ours is no exemption. The sky-high expectations, the immense pressure, the disagreements  the lectures, the lessons, but if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t be where I am today. He’s my ideal definition of love. It’s selfless. He loves me because I’m me, his daughter. He’s shown me a good example of what a dad should be. I will always make sure that he has every reason to smile and be happy. God bless him with his hearts desires.

To more laughing, living and loving. Let your weekend be nothing short of interesting, blessings!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Unwelcome Questions

It’s crazy how the world rotates around us, but we barely notice. Not the scientific or geographic kind of rotate, but the fact that it’s all about us, the people that inhabit this rather round planet earth. Then it points down to each and every individual. Each person is their own person. We all have a purpose, that thing that we are meant to work out or contribute towards here on earth. It doesn’t matter who you are, what you do, or you want to be or want to have, there’s that inherent reason you are here.

We try to look for our relevance in every place, be it at home, school, work, among our friends. You want to be needed, to be accommodated and to be relevant. The big problems come in while we try to have all this figured out. It’s easy for some, or so it seems, but extremely difficult for others. Others even never find their purpose in life. Others don’t even know themselves. Ever gone to a place and the questions you’re asked are in the lines of:

Who are you?  What do you do? What do you want?

Questions

Aren’t these the most unwelcome questions. They leave you wondering what answer you should give. Assuming that you have an answer, because most people stare blankly wondering whether to begin with when I was born or when you started schooling or your experience, you wonder whether it will be satisfactory to the recipient  Does it do you justice and represent you for who you really are. With those 3 questions, someone narrows down to what your entire life is about. Based on what you say, they could put you off or want to be associated with you. Ever wondered why these questions always feature in the critical area of “basic information”, whether it’s in interviews, social media bio’s and so on. It’s like that’s the basic information about yourself you should have. To the very least you should know who you are.

Funny thing is that life situation can lead you to a path that makes it difficult to describe who you are, what you do and what you want. Maybe because you’re not confident enough about your abilities. Or whatever you do is not really defined so you can pin point it or you just can’t figure out what you want, because there so much. Most of what we want is not necessary actually, if you think about it. Like I want a chopper to beat traffic, but do I really need it? Of what value will it add to my life? Sometimes when you answer this questions, you feel like the answers you have given don’t give you justice. Like when someone sees a picture of you, then when they eventually meet you they tell you, “you look much better in person, the pictures don’t do you justice.”

You wish that the people got to know you first before judging you by what you say about yourself. Truth be told, most of us don’t do ourself justice when telling others about ourselves. Maybe that’s why we lose out on good jobs, great opportunities and so on. Unfortunately, the world ain’t patient or that kind to you, so one has to figure how to get these “unwelcome questions” right. I think the trick to answering them is loving YOUrself, loving what YOU do (it doesn’t have to be what you are at work, it could even be what you enjoy doing or what you’re really good at). For instance just because you are a sales man and you don’t like what you do, that doesn’t define you. You define yourself. You could be a sales man who writes really well or who loves public speaking. How do you go about saying who you are when you have varied statuses? Go for what fulfils your heart and own it. You get better at it with time. It leads you to knowing what you want and then you chase it. When you get it, you will be able to even say who you are and what you do much better. You can even write a biography of yourself *wink*. I’m pretty sure Steve Jobs didn’t find himself in a day, it took time, to make him the refined person he was, for him to find his niche and his purpose. It’s like the food chain (remember primary school science class), one stage feeds the other stage. It’s a cycle.

At the end of the day, it’s about doing some really good work with what you’ve got. Ain’t it? And sometimes, all you’ve got is YOU! So how about YOU love what YOU are involved in because the world rotates around YOU!

what you do

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Friday Snippets

Alpen Chocolate

WATCHING

Hi, I am a certified ‘Movie maniac’.  Really looking forward to Fast and Furious, Crood and Scandal Ssn 21 (and stolen moments to watch 18-20, I hear things went bananas). Currently, I’ve watched like all the movies that are out true story, but Safe Haven  made me balance a tear two.

LOVING

The fact that I am actually done with grad school. It hasn’t hit me yet. I’m sure when I find myself idle in the evenings and starting to think of something else to enroll in, I will know it has.

LISTENING TO

A little of Colbie Caillat, Sara Bareilles, Pink, Adam Lambers, Jason Mraz, the Fray and the Script … they’re all just so mush.

READING

Was given a book to review and it has my first name in it “Chasing Mercy“, that’s what I’ll be on. Do you have any recommendations now that I am free to read?

EATING

Alden Chocolates. Heaven sent. You know you feel unhealthy when you eat chocolates, this is health in a pack.

LOOKING FORWARD TO

My graduation. I told you I’ll make that speech *woop woop*. I asked and it has been given.

SAVING FOR

A smart phone (can you imagine I don’t have one, still holding on to my E63 5years later) among other things.

PLANNING FOR

I need a trip out of town NOW. I haven’t started planning yet, but I need to.

THANKING

God for the strength and wisdom to do my thesis and pass it *excitoz*. My family for the financial and unbeatable moral support (the calls to as whether I’ve gotten home, if I’m doing my project, or eaten dinner…lol). My boyfriend for the crazy support including rehearsals of my final defence, the pick-me ups and drop-me’s and the time (I was in class the time we could be having dates…though we pushed them for after class). My friends, for the motivation to finish school by asking me “when I’ll finish or why I’m always in school”. It’s not easy but we made it through. Congratulations.

To more laughing, living and loving. Let your weekend be nothing short of interesting, blessings!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Last Minute Disease

I’m pretty sure you can relate with that disease and it has no cure, we’re still searching. The one that makes you want to do everything at that very last minute. You know just right before the deadline. All through, you have known that you’re supposed to do this and it has been at the back of your head. What is lacking is that motivation to get your hands dirty on it just yet. So you procrastinate, and procrastinate, you give your excuses. Then when d-day is here, things go bonkers. You’re trying to juggle 5 balls *read projects* all together, and boy, we all ain’t expert jugglers.

last minute

You have just been given an assignment, you have been told it’s due in a few weeks. You want to start the assignment but there is just no morale to do it. Everything looks complex, time is evasive, you’re extremely busy doing other things, even those things that are not relevant suddenly become more important. You’re breezed out, but at the back of your head you know there’s something you’re meant to be doing even as the days close in. Then. The d-day is here. The assignment is due tomorrow at 10.00am and it’s 10:00pm and your word document is blank. LOL. Funny at that moment, all thoughts come rushing through. You feel like a combination of Dexter (Dexters Lab) and Professor Utonium (Powerpuff girls). Very lethal combination by the way. Although you come up with the best ideas then, the pressure experienced is also real. I don’t think these other pressures have got anything on it. It works well for some, others get panic attacks.

Last minute mood

You’ve been told of a meeting days before. Then the hours before the meeting is when you remember you had some action points allocated to you O_O and you’re supposed to give feedback. It’s an hour to, and you start calling clients, writing reports. This is the time your colleague comes to say hi and bug you and you don’t hear a thing they’re saying. And if they press any further you could detonate. You’re like sitting time bomb.

You were supposed to go to some place by a particular time and you over-estimate the amount of time you have to get there or under-estimate the traffic you will encounter on your way there. Then you get stranded in traffic. You look at your watch and you think if I just alighted and walked I’d make it right on time. Then somehow the traffic moves and you’re there. It’s like your faith moves it, if it doesn’t just walk. In as much as you’re not a good time-keeper, the last-minute saves.

If it wasn’t for that last-minute, many of us would falter in so many ways and things. Especially when it comes to dealing with deadlines. Maybe this was the source of deadlines. Humans figured that they can’t be trusted to do things at their own pace and deliver without being pressed or put under pressure. If there was no deadline, nothing will be done.

It’s like deadlines are a motivator and last-minute the much-needed adrenaline rush.

I used to say I want to get healed of the last-minute disease, but then am thinking how it has helped me meet so many deadlines. Even those I never thought I would meet. The adrenaline rush makes me feel like a Miss.SmartyPants, but really, my mind goes on an overdrive. That feeling like I can conquer the world. While if you asked me when the assignment or project was first being given, I would probably be like, “this shiii be so difficult”.

last minute

Are you one culprits taking advantage of that last minute? Does it work for you?  Or would like to be healed…lol. Our scientists are still looking for the cure, once we concoct some, it’ll be shared. Have a super Friday!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Lose Yourself. Find Yourself.

Makes me want to start on with Eminem’s – Lose Yourself, although it’s in a different context, but hey takes you back huh?

“Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted in one moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

—-

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime. ” ~ Eminem

Sometimes we lose ourselves. Lose ourselves in our work, school, relationships, talents basically in situations. We lose ourselves trying to accommodate other things and other people and we forget that we also have ourselves to accommodate. We humans (based on the fact that I am one) were created to want to please everyone we come across. You want to make sure that everyone is happy with you, satisfied with whatever it is that you have to offer. And if they are not, you try your best to make sure that they do. Even if it means losing who you actually are to do so. It’s like your happiness is based on their approval stamp.

losing yourself

We lose ourselves in more ways than one. Through our character, our behaviour and our actions. Where you do things that you also don’t comprehend, things that don’t make you happy, that given a chance, you would rather not do it but the situation doesn’t quite allow or it just forces you to be that way. It’s crazy, because you see yourself leaving yourself, literally. It’s like you’re stretching your hand to reach out for yourself but you slowly slip away. When you realize that is what’s happening, you can either: Just confirm to it or decide, it’s about time you found yourself. Conforming to it means that you’ve let go of yourself, you don’t mind not being you. You’re comfortable being  what your situations expect you to be to please them. Even when it drives you nuts, you would rather go nuts, but make sure the people around you are happy with you. But deep inside, you crush, you feel inadequate, like you’re not enough, like life could be better than it is.

Lose yourself

When you decide to find yourself. Well, you step on some toes. You know what stepping on toes does, some forgive you and move on. Others react and dwell on it. You’ll probably never hear the end of it. They hate you for being you. But to be yourself you need to be able to defend yourself from the harshness (of the world) and be there for yourself always. It doesn’t mean that you’re going against what people expect of you really, it just means that your happiness, your comfort also matters. As much as other people’s matters. Just because someone doesn’t like you, your world won’t stop. Chances are that someone else loves (or will love) you to greater degree for being the same way. It’s a matter of balancing the scale…lol

You could have everything you need in life, but if you’re not yourself then those things wouldn’t make so much sense to you. And that’s probably the source of your happiness. That could be the source of your smile when all else doesn’t look so promising. If you’re not yourself, then you’re definitely someone else ain’t it? It means your own needs won’t satisfy you, because everyone has different needs. It’s a twist. Knowing yourself, your character, your behaviour  your actions is what keeps you sane. You over-do or under-do something and tell yourself, “Kawi, you’ve taken it too far, that’s not you”. You kiss ass too much, and you tell yourself, “Kawi, you don’t have to do that, just be you.” Actually, I think people like you better when you’re yourself. Just that they probably don’t tell you. I could tell you on their behalf. Because then they know that you’re the real deal, that you’re not pretending. That given a situation, this is how you’ll behave. So that someone doesn’t get surprised like, “Oh my gosh, I would have never though Kawi would do something like that.” This will allow me to love you for you or dislike you for you. Not for who you’re not.

losing yourself 1

When a situation pushes you to be someone you’re not, be there for yourself. Stand up for who you are. We expect others to be there for us when sometimes we’re not even there for ourselves. You’re your own V.I.P. Yeah, you deserve the red carpet, the V.I.P treatment. Don’t underestimate yourself. I do that sometimes as well, underestimate myself. I feel little, like I don’t have any impact in the life of others. And I let the voices inside my head convince me so. Then I thought about it figured that you deserve all the good things like the  other person next to you. You’re just as beautiful as the person next to you, if not more. You’re just as intelligent just as the person next to you, if not more. So don’t look at yourself and pity yourself or try to be someone else to please others as well as yourself. There’s a reason you are who you are.

Be Yourself

“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.” ~ Nora Ephron.

It’s Monday, there can’t be any better form of motivation than,“ just be yourself”. It sounds like a darn easy assignment. LOL. It’s the hardest. That’s all I’ll tell you to do this week.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*