Archive | December 2013

Of Price Tags and Good Times

You know the “price” is such a poser. So much, that we give it some much undeserved attention. It makes us forget the essence of what it is we are putting a price on. How many times do you want to get someone a gift and the first thing you think of is “how much” price tag? How many times have you wanted to entertain some friends but you think “damn, that’s going to cost me” – price tag? Or you want to go have a good time and you’re like, “what’s the damage” – price tag?

Price, Price Tag

It’s crazy how it’s always about the price tag, while it’s not really supposed to be. I know we (I) don’t have money over-flowing in our accounts, some of us are under tight budgets, others even have no budget because, well, they’ve got no money. But is it really about the money? I think it’s not. Although money is definitely a means to the end. The end being your satisfaction, your having a good time. It’s about what it is you have inside you. You know that passion, that feeling that makes you want to just spread joy to others, regardless.

You don’t have enough money to buy a pricey gift? Then make one out of what you have. Worst case scenario, sacrifice that which you treasure. It doesn’t have to be something big, it could be that pen. True friends, they’ll appreciate. The price tag doesn’t have to be your barrier. Is it entertaining friends? Make what you can afford, be it a meal or drinks, if they don’t like it, it’s just one meal and one drink. True friends, they’ll appreciate – even if they’re meat eaters and you’ve just served veggies, they’ll appreciate. You want to have a good time? Have a good time. Even it means one bottle of beer for a night out. It gets tough, but  let’s toughen it out.

I’m not saying this just because. I just feel like it’s been about the price tag for far too long, even for me. We just need to learn how to live within our means and have a really good time, because, it’s not about the price tag, it’s just not about that money. Yes, it’s very important means to that end (hence why we work to earn it), but it shouldn’t be the determinant – of whether you’re going to have a good time or not. In case you were in that “price tag” hole, let’s jump out of it and let’s have some fun this coming year. I talk to myself too. As mentioned, you’ve made it to 2014, just to the mere fact that you’re alive and healthy. In addition to that, you’ve got people who love you and you’re blessed with a future to look forward to. A future that you can write your story, edit, maybe not delete but learn from the mistakes and rights. You have no reason not to be happy, be happy. Now it just feels right if I say, Amen! To good Karma my people.

Theme song of the year: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMxX-QOV9tI

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Letting Go Of 2013, To Let In 2014

I’m the kind that forgets easily. It’s good to know thyself. I forget my milestones, the thing that made me extremely happy for a moment, then I moved on with life. Its joys and struggles all together. I guess having been given 2013 to live life, maybe I didn’t do it to fullest because many times I’ve held it down because of well, maybe I thought I should’ve planned it, budgeted it, I had work the following day or now that the cops introduced AlcoBlow (a device that checks your alcohol level and if you’re caught, be ready to part with 100k, such a party popper but almost good because no drunk driving).

Generally, 2013 has been good to me, no complaints whatsoever. Anything that went wrong was a lesson learnt or just to show me that “hey Kawi, this is the world we’re in, it’s got its obstacles so don’t get too comfortable”. There were thorns, but at least they didn’t poke me too hard. Just a few scratches on the surface that taught me how to handle the rose better and in a more gentle way. At least the scars faded.

2013 was my rose

Thank God It’s Friday

A walk through 2013:

  • What a better birthday-mate to have than the boyfriend? Makes everything so much easier, yet so harder because you have to make plans while he’s making plans, buy a gift while he’s buying a gift. The 1st was great, at least we discussed what we wanted to do. Can’t wait for the next one, because no telling. The first we were still getting to know each other.
  • Graduated from Graduate School – Completing that thesis made me feel a lil’ bad ass. It was so frigging involving. I got so stressed sometimes to the point of tears, lecturers can really frustrate a students. Something straight-forward can be so twisted.
  • Had mum finally travel to the States to visit my cousins. She had spoken about it for far too long and it was about time it happened. Really glad it did and she got to see her nieces and nephews. Boy, do we miss them.
  • Saw my dad start and complete building his (our) house upcountry. It’s so beautiful. It was his untold dream, he didn’t tell, but we knew that’s what he really wanted. Now we have a place to go  when we want to go out-of-town and have some R & R. His success, our success and vice versa.
  • Got a new job at the bank, totally unexpected. A great opportunity, with some really cool and amazing colleagues, thank God. That new girl feeling was so short-lived, now it’s like I’m at home. Also made some good friends from my previous work place. It always feels like you’re leaving one relationship and jumping into the next one when you move jobs. It’s an “ouch” feeling, but one’s got to grow. At least for the friends you made, they’ll always be there.
  • Took the boyfriend home to officially meet the folks. Of course he’s met them a couple of times before but there’s something about them knowing what you two are really up to. I found that really admirable and respectful.
  • Spent the 1st Christmas without my family. Felt a little (that’s being modest, a lot) out of touch, damn! But works got be done. The boyfriends family made some really good family time too.
  • I have some really awesome friends. You know those who make you so random. They make you laugh when you feel like cringing, that make you go dancing when you thought you’d be at home asleep. They are for keeps!
  • I had an incident, where I had my essentials stolen (wallet and phone). A bullet through the heart, those are the two material things you feel like you can’t live without. Those thugs got me a good one, but none of that carelessness again.
  • I cut my hair short and I don’t look hideous – thank God. It’s something completely different, no one would do something that extreme. It showed me that I don’t have to be attached to things such as hair, it grows back anyway.

In 2014, I want just basically want to be a better person, better than I have ever been. I want to let go of the rose, because I want a flower garden. I think I’m now ready to handle couple of roses and other flowers. I want to be able to achieve most of the things I have been saying I want to do and have in 2013. Better yet, I spoke a lot in 2013, in 2014, I want to make it happen. What do you want for yours?

In case I am not able to do another post before next year, because I’ll be having so much fun jumping years, may you have a blessed and prosperous 2014. Lets make it happen together #CozWeCan’tStop (Miley Cyrus clearly featured heavily in 2013).

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Like a Big Book

Like a big book being read by different people, and as the chapters keep being flipped, that’s its life. Once it’s been placed on the shelf, the person interested in it, will eventually pull it out, it could take a day or years. It could be because they’ve heard it’s a nice book or because for some (un)apparent reason appeals to them. What someone does with it is up to them. The best thing about a book is that its content, once written, it doesn’t change. The story builds on, but what’s written stays. It’s our mind that chooses how to interpret the story.

Thank God It's Friday

Thank God It’s Friday

 

However, before people decide to take ownership of the book, they check it out, read the synopsis and decide whether it’s worth it. It’s like a first date, from the conversations, the looks, the connection, you evaluate and make a choice – to keep or to shelf. Should one decide to keep, some read and understand the core essence of the book and treasure it like it’s supposed to be, others try to read into it – they might not get it, but they at least they try to. For others, they read to the end but it just feels like a waste of time (boring story line perhaps or it didn’t turn out how you had anticipated), others peruse through the pages just to get to the end – sort of – I have the book, so I might as well read it whether I like or not, others don’t even get past the synopsis. They like the book but the time isn’t right for them to read it (or they’re just not feeling it at that time – ever happened to you?). You’ve been dying to read a book but when you get to the book store and read the synopsis you just don’t feel it.

When you pick the book and decide to keep it, people treat the book in different ways; others fold the ends *create doggy ears*, others tear off the pages, others write on them maybe to mark something that was of interest to them, others pen down their name because they now own the book (and they sure don’t share), you want a book, buy yours! (I have a friend or two who love their books to death and they’d rather buy you a book than give you theirs).

Life is just like a book. Just like a book, there are those people who will treasure you, there are those who will be there but not really there, there are those who will trash you, there are others who will want you all to themselves. It’s an interesting turn out. As a book on the shelf, you don’t know who will pick you or what journey you’ll take once you’re out of the shelf. But as a book, you can tell who’s treating you like you deserve to be treated, who’s mis-treating you, only you the book can tell. Unlike the book, you have a life and you can make a choice how someone interprets your story.

You can tell it, like you want it to be. Books can’t speak, you can. Books can’t express, you can. Books can’t feel, you can. Books can’t move, you can. You definitely have the upper hand. You probably won’t write your story as it’s already written (again, the bible says) but how you strive to live it, makes all the difference.

ION, Just to let you know that I’m still here, I have not disappeared into thin air. Trying to organize myself and figuring out my time, especially how to wake up early. I wold love to do the posts early in the morning doesn’t everyone, but yikes, waking up! My mind wants but my body will just never coöperate. Even when I don’t have any sleep, which is a very rare occurrence. Looking forward to an awesome weekend, besides having work tomorrow #YOLO

To more laughing, living and loving. Let your weekend be nothing short of interesting, blessings!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Friday Snippets

How could I forget to acknowledge that it’s December. It’s December yo, the first December Friday!

I used to love this month. I used to love it so much until I growing up happened. Not that I love it any less, just that it’s not the same now. It was the month of chilling, parties, gifts, emo movies, classic tunes (carols), hilarious cartoons … and of course of Christmas and New Year. That’s what it was all about. Then growing up happens and we realize for all this things to happen, you’ve got to work your ass out for them. You ain’t going for a party or get gifts if you’ve got no money, bills won’t wait for you to have a good time first then tackle them later. There’s so much expected of you, you have to work to make sure other people experience the goodness of this season as well, just as they’re working to make sure you enjoy it. Those Christmas trees in the malls didn’t put themselves up, the goods & services won’t sell themselves, bills won’t pay themselves. It’s not about chilling any more *wails*

December

Thank God It’s Friday – Tis’ the season to be jolly!

WATCHING

I have watched a couple of flicks but I can barely remember the names. I’m that chic by the way, so I’ll just review the most recent ones.

Prisoners,  it’s about two close families who have their little girls kidnapped and while the case is being followed up the fathers take the matter to their hands and one ends up kidnapping and harassing a retarded kid who they highly suspect is involved in the kidnapping of their kids. Of course with its twists and turns, his “brother” leads them to where the kids were being held hostage with some maze drawings. It’s worth the watch.

Captain Philips, pirates take over a ship from the U.S of A. Of course the seals and navy are alerted and get on board, as the captain of the ship who’s a really intelligent guy is taken hostage by the pirates. Let’s say it’s intriguing, those pirates have the scariest of looks (remember grim ripper), wouldn’t want to be in a room with them.

Best Man Holiday, such an emo movie. It’s a sequel for The Best Man. So after they all start their family life’s; get married, get kids and all, they decide to meet up for the Christmas holidays. It wasn’t without drama, seeing as how the other one ended, but things turn upside down when they find out one of theirs is not well. If I go any further, I will spoil it for you. It’s one of those soppy flicks that chics like. So get it.

Winnie – Weh, Winnie Madikizela Mandela is portrayed as an Iron Lady, one no-nonsense woman. Especially when it comes to defending the rights of the people and politics. She held it strong for her former husband (also former S.A president) Mandela (the Lord rest his soul in eternal peace) while he was in prison for 27 years, just continuing to build his legacy. Although she fell short a couple of times, she was definitely a woman to look up to in more ways than one.

LOVING

The place I’m in. Honestly, I can’t complain about anything but thank God. Everything of course doesn’t always go as planned or as imagined or as thought out. God has his own manuscript up there, so even as you make plans, if it doesn’t match his … that’s where my reasoning ends. But the bible (Jeremiah 29:11) says, he has plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future . Things happen along the way, some quite unexpected, but “what doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger”. As long as we’re healthy and alive, the rest I’ve come to believe, can be worked out.

LISTENING TO

I learnt of a “new” thing called Pop Danthology, a mushup of the coolest songs of the year. I know I’m late to the party, but don’t judge me now. This is the best shiiiii ever! How couldn’t have I known of  mushup’s? Here I was thinking it’s a Project Fame thing, but it’s actually an existing kind of mix. Herehere and here.

If that doesn’t make your Friday any better, I don’t know what will. At least we can say I tried.

READING

*hangs my head in shame* I’m getting myself a book soon. Even just one to keep me busy in my commute. I wasn’t finding anything to tickle my fancy. I’ll give you a review for the book I did last Friday Snippets soon.

EATING

No phone, so pics are a bit of a challenge (for now). They say in Swahili, “Kuteseka ni kwa muda” which I’d like to believe means, suffering is temporary.

But how about some Steers chicken, I had missed that Illegal meal. Thanks to the boyfriend for all this fattening foods, plus pizza and lots of milkshake.

LOOKING FORWARD TO

Going for shopping, official clothes things. I don’t have much of a choice here and for that reason, I need to look forward to it and will enjoy the process while at it.

HOPING FOR

A good and smooth transition into the new job. I’m getting the jitters thinking that soon I’ll be in a different environment to the one I’m used to. But it’s always for the best, so let’s wait for it.

SAVING FOR

A couple of things. Now add to that list, a phone and wallet. That’s what life can do to you, today you have, tomorrow you’re saving up to buy it. Damn!

THINKING

We should rejoice for our small victories like we do our big achievements, because those small victories at the end of the day, month or year lead to our big achievements. Reminds me of my undergraduate, every semester would come, sit through it, do exams, some so difficult that you wonder whether you’ll pass. Then you go on holiday and your results come, you’ve passed. But you know, no big deal. You feel like the miss smarty pants and that goes by. After all you passed. The cycle continues until you are graduating with an honors. Not knowing, it’s the small milestones that have gotten you that big achievement.

So is with everything else in life. The small victories are just important as the big ones, because those small ones are the feeders, without which the big victory would be nothing but a dream.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Friday - Victories

Besides that, to more laughing, living and loving. Let your weekend be nothing short of interesting, blessings!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Blogging Highs and Lows

This is my 402nd post on #WordPress. And all I can say is that blogging is special, extra special. No one can tell you how to do it or when to do it. It’s something you do because you feel like doing it, not because someone expects you to do it. The moment you someone else plays puppeteer and you puppet to it, you tend to lose plot. You feel the pressure and you just lose the mojo. It becomes a task that makes you get frustrated on how and when you’ll deliver. You get concerned about things that at one point never disturbed you, like structure, imagery, wording, grammar. Basically, blogging is just about going with the flow.

When I blog, I let my mind connect with my fingers and have them do the walking. As long as I have the idea of what I want the output to be.

To celebrate getting to more than 400 posts, I will share what I think are my blogging highs and lows. There’s much but I’ll just do 6, to make 12 because 12 months (lol, it’s becoming a habit now).

↑ High: No rules.

This one gives you the freedom to just be you on the blog without restrictions. No one tells you what to write about or how to go about it or even display it. No one gives you ultimatums on when to post. You do you, your way. After all, it’s a blog. It’s like your personal journal (where you write the things that occupy your mind as they come), just that in this case, you choose to share its content with the public.         

                 ↓ Low: Blogger’s block

It’s like when writers say they have a writer’s block. You want to write so bad, but you just don’t know what to write about. Or even if you do, you  don’t knew where to start or even go about it. It’s such a sucky feeling, one of helpless. You stare into a blank screen and just stare. Then you read other people’s content and you have silent conversations with yourself, something like,  “I need to get stuff to say too.”

↑ High: Speak your mind, with no one interjecting.

You know how when you are having an argument everyone wants to be heard? At the end of the discussion you feel like your opinion didn’t get the attention it deserved. In a blog, you can post your argument/opinion and be heard before someone says otherwise. They’ll read, to the end and if it’s controversial, they’ll get fired up, then probably tell you what they think on the comments, but at least your opinion is out there.          

                    ↓ Low: Questioning your skills.

You wonder what you’re doing and whether you’re doing it right. Whether you can blog or better yet write and entertain others. I said no rules, yes, you do you, but in a public domain. So of course you want to use your skill for something, either to influence, impact or inspire somebody in one way or another.

↑ High: When someone tells you they read your blog

O_O that’s my first expression. Like I want to jump up and down with excitement but I’ve got to hold myself back lest you think I’m psycho. But it’s a rewarding experience. You feel like what you write is not in vain. Somebody somewhere is reading, even if it’s just one person. Quite encouraging too, to keep on keeping on.         

                 ↓ Low: Going through emotions

I hate being whiner, if there’s one thing I can’t deal with is whining. I try to avoid it as much, especially on the blog. If it’s a situation I need to express, I’d rather do it in the most mature of ways. If I can’t build, I’d rather not take part in breaking. When I’m going through the roller coaster of emotions, I’d rather not write, because then I would just feel like whining. I’d rather chill out and calm down first (preferably learn from it) then write things that makes sense to you and me. So that even when I read that post several years down the line, I won’t feel like trashing it or face palming.

↑ High: You have something exciting to post

It’s like having a massive light bulb moment. You just want to sit your ass down and let the ideas flow, preferably without interruption, it could be on a word document, on the editor or worse yet on a notepad. I won’t lie, I get lost in it. When I’m writing, most of the time, I have my earphones (even to the extent of no music playing) and my mind travels far away.          

                ↓ Low: No writing opportunity

When you have something exciting to post, but no time to sit and write-up the post. It’s a somewhat devastating feeling. You feel like you have a task you need to perform but you haven’t. Can you relate? It could be because you’ve been out for meetings or you have assignments that don’t give you some time to do your own stuff.

High: A comment on your blog, whether verbal, written or gestured.

Someone read it and got you in one way or another. They may not even agree with what you’ve said but at least some effort was made. You feel like giving them a “hi5″ for “you get me” or just a mere “thanks for passing by”.          

                  ↓ Low: Not sure what your readers think about what you post(s)

It one thing to write what you feel like writing, but if you’re writing for others to read, well, you have to think what they’ll think of what you’ve posted. Such a twist, but it happens, we’re human, we worry about what you think about us and the one thing we enjoy doing.

High: Hitting the publish button

It’s such a climax. When you write then you click publish and it’s out there, for you, you and you. That feeling is rather satisfying. The same way you have a completed an assignment or met a deadline and you just click on the send button. It’s fantastic, even though there’s no one who gives you accolades for it, deep inside it’s a fulfilment.        

                 ↓ Low: Finding errors in your post

Just when you think you’re done and you’ve published your post, you find typos, grammatical errs or punctuation errs. You have to read and re-read your post to get rid of those mistakes that can be post-threatening.

↑ ↑ Biggest High: When you get recommendations or references.

Someone read your blog and while at it, they thought or felt that you do it right. Then they went ahead to recommend you for things related because they sense your potential, that’s a BIG high! It cancels off all the lows.

To other bloggers, what do you feel are your highs and lows? Or does my experience resonate with yours?

blogging, blog

‘Happy Hump Day’ lovelies! Keep that smile on, the world needs it more than you know.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

It’s Just Material Stuff

I had a rather interesting week last week. Interesting in both a good and bad way. It taught me some tough lessons, which instead of breaking me, have made me rather stronger. I experienced the much told “Nairobi Experience”. The one about the pick pockets in public transport. Yes, they do exist. I was living in a bubble, thinking that would never happen to me, how now? That was a tell-tale to me. I mean how can someone just steal from you under your nose and you don’t realize? You feel so stupid, because when you look back, you see all the signs that you just let pass or all the things you did wrong. I couldn’t even sleep that day as I kept thinking of all the what if’s.

What happened you wonder? I took a matatu like I always do. Only on this fateful day, it was properly loaded with pick pockets. My innocent self went ahead to use my phone, I mean I was safe in the moving vehicle (note that I’d been warned of this behaviour so many times). When time came to pay my fare, I removed my wallet, got the money and paid, though the guy next to me was really looking into it. I was in my little happy-go-lucky bubble. I mean, life is beautiful, what is there not to be happy about? I put back my wallet in my rather “open” bag. It didn’t even cross my mind to make sure that it’s tucked in well. I go ahead with my business, but clearly it was our business.

Along the way there were funny signs where the dude from behind says he’s lost his sim/memory card and the good person I am, helps to search. All the while the guy next to me has rummaged my bag to get my wallet. Then when I’m about to alight, the guy in front of me, tells me to keep my phone safe because it might be stolen. And guess what I do, of course I put it back in my bag. Thinking, this people do care about my welfare. Not, because as I put my phone in the bag, this other dude was on the receiving end. Like they deserved my phone and wallet more than I did. I didn’t realize until I alighted. That shit *excuse my French* makes you disoriented. I couldn’t believe I’ve been played out like that. You feel like searching every corner and crevice for your stuff, you feel like those people should know how much you’ve worked and struggled for the little you have. That they should have some Mercy and at least return the essentials (you know, your ATM cards, ID, Medical Cards, Access Cards). For the phone I had accepted its fate (but next time insurance is my friend).

Then it dawns on you, these are thieves. The last person they care about, is you and your petty essentials. I kept telling the boyfriend to try call them. You know maybe they will pick up and tell me to pick my stuff up from somewhere. And he used my words on me, “that’s just material stuff.” If I’ve ever told you that, I know the pain of those words even better now. You think of the cost of your phone, wallet, ‘essentials’ and the materials bit, just doesn’t cut it. True to those words though, they’re just material things. They’re replaceable, some as soon as possible, others in the near future. As long as you’re healthy and alive, how you got them once, you’ll get them again. Even better. That was a set back in more than one away, but such a minor one. If you’ve been through the same, believe it’s a minor set back and you’ll strike back bigger and better.

That was just one of the lessons. Besides that, I also learnt that I need to be aware of my environment. Not everyone in this world is nice, not everyone is genuine and not everyone cares about you, tough love. So I need to in certain circumstances, if not all, put my safety first and always be careful and most of all trust my judgement, good or bad. After all, the judgement is mine. Such experiences should just toughen us. It was a sore and painful experience but such an eye opener too.

Material Things

While at it, I discovered that some friends have walked in your shoes. So they know what you’re going through or what you’re feeling. Somehow, they find ways to make you feel better about your situation because they’ve been through the same if not worse. And after sharing my story, I came to realize mine was not an isolated case. This has happened to so many of my friends. Sometimes you know all the rules to the games, but since you’re on the play-field any way, the thugs use the same old tricks on you (some which you were aware of, but you’re caught off-guard) and they win. That’s just a small win. Eventually, you have the big win because you can play better next time now that you’re more aware.

Have yourself an amazing week. When you’re about to have a bad one, just think of someone else who is in a worse state than you, and yet they can afford a smile. Then look deep within and dig out that smile from the hole it’s buried in. Blessings lovelies.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*