Archive | April 2014

The Million Dollar Question?

Even after I said “YES”, the first question that ran through my mind was, “how did you know the size of my finger?” I was too curious, because that would have been my only selling point.

The story, now that’s the question everyone has been asking of late. I’m not the best at narrating the same story over and over. But it seems for this season that I’m in, I need to get used to it and, that this bling sure does bring a lot of attention. I didn’t see myself in this phase this soon, and maybe that’s why the mister managed to sneak away with it. I was being very futuristic, I didn’t want to give him pressure in as much as all of you out there gave me pressure *looks at you, you and you*. I just wanted to go with the flow.

And with the flow I went. He’s a sneaky one, because on that Saturday 19th April, it was my turn on the rotter to work. He diligently dropped me at work, no signs whatsoever except him booking me for the day and night. All through work, I felt like I was in a daze, which made me think with the weather change I could be in the process of catching a cold. However, I wrote a post too, it was too pressing, I had learnt a couple of things that week through him and with him. Time to go home, I call him just to give him a heads up, and he offers to come back and pick me up. He’d done this a couple of times before so again, it felt normal.

When he picks me up, he hands me a gift bag and inside is perfume. WOW! He had chosen a yummy scent that I immediately adopted as My Scent. I was still in a daze. Let me explain the state, “happy and floaty for no reason, so it just feels a little awkward”. Does that make some sense?

photo (4)

So we go grab something to bite and go home to watch some flicks looking forward to dinner. This Easter was pretty chilled out with no out-of-town plans (contrary to what we had earlier planned). So I was looking forward to the food, he was clearly looking forward to other grander things. If only I knew. I would have bought a new dress…lol. When evening reaches, he nudges me and tells me to dress-up. With his special line “we can’t be late for this one.” You know we women and our delaying tactics, I got it from my mum.  I was on time this time round, funny enough I didn’t even  give him a hard time getting dressed up. Normally I’d be in jeans but that day, I was very willing to dress up.

Out we went, where? “It’s a surprise,” he says. We check in to Serena and I’m like aha, but the “Captains Table at The Mandhari Restaurant” AHA! I only see all that attention in movies. And the attention is from when you check in to when you’re leaving the building. God bless those lovely waiters.  With a whole bottle of Moet to ourselves, if I knew what was going on, I’d have had a photographer on speed-dial. We just had make do with what we had by ourselves and the new fad – selfies to make memories. I loved the privacy, he knows me too well.

KawiSnippets, Engaged

1. I, very clueless  2. The Mandhari Restaurant Menu 3. Moet, 4. So sparkly, champagne ain’t the yummiest beverage at first but the taste grows on you. 5. The Master of selfies, takes us one. 6. Healthy starter – with wheat, nuts and all things healthy. 7. Mushroom Soup 8. Chicken Soup, 9. with a Quail egg to compliment (even with all the hype, I’d never eaten one yet, there’s a 1st for everything) – It had a name, I can’t remember. 10. Chefs special – Shrimp (with things in it) – I could have eaten more of those, too yummy for just one. 11. Creamy Au Gratin Potatoes – Pure yumminess in a cup plate. I’m now a potato person – being the person who hated potatoes in her food, but with cheese & butter anything is possible. 12. Pork Ribs. 13. Lamb Chops. 14, 15, 16. Those are two happy & grateful people.

It looks like my main word is yummy. It’s either yummy or not yummy. In a nut shell that’s how the evening went down of course followed with a nigh-out with a couple we look up to (not the parents haha, Mr & Mrs Ngigi). I was overwhelmed with joy. Too overwhelmed that we forgot to take pics of the dessert which the waiter said “comes served very hot.” Eh it was hot when she flung open the lid and I saw petals, a box ring and my boyfriend down on one knee.

No, I didn’t cry, not just yet. I think I was too surprised that he decided that it’s about time he “put a ring on my fatty-fatty finger”. I had asked God to give me someone I’ll be ready to spend the rest of my interesting life with. And with him, I felt that this was it. We have been together through the murks and the light as well, we’re growing together, we try up lift each other when either of us is down, we share the same values, beliefs and principles, he loves me all the time, even when I get to his nerves – like when I give completely wrong directions. He’s my all-weather friend. What more could I ask for? I am thankful to God that he’s taken his time to bring closer to me my life partner and we’re on the same page.

Engagement

For the next chapter, there’s no pressure. We’ll arrange it how we know it best, with the help of those who want the best for us. In all honesty, I’m the most clueless of bride-to-be, but we’ll sail through with God’s blessings. Can’t wait for that day and the lifetime to follow though.

To him,

Have a lovely week, now won’t you? To a wonderful journey we’ll have on here. Lot’s of love, light & peace from us to you.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

 

1st Date: Figuring Him Out

I had done as a Guest Post on Here while ago. I knew a time would come when I’d re-post it. This is it.

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The other day, a mutual friend I share with the boyfriend and who’s one of my best friends asked me, “how did you know he was serious?”The question did catch me off-guard and all I responded was, “he told me so”. Then I thought that’s pretty stupid of me considering actions speak louder than words. I felt that maybe I need to explain to her a little further on how it transpired. Just so that she’s not told by someone who’s trying to woe her, that he’s serious, get’s into it and he turns out to be a douche. I am very territorial when it comes to people I love and I never want to see them get hurt. If only it was in my ability.

So this is what transpired. I was single for a while, in this time I met all kind of guys and from each I met, even if nothing was intended per se, I would kind of size them up then ask myself, “can I handle this one or is this the kind of person I want to be with for the rest of my life?”.  Yes, I was sizing up anyone who showed interest in me and it’s the answer to this BIG question that used to slap me back to reality. The reality that told me, “keep off”. It even got to a point my family and friends wondered if I was serious and I would get worried lectures. In my head, I’m like; “it’s me who’s in the playground, not you”. Of course I didn’t tell them that but I totally downplayed the situation.

Sad thing then but good thing now, is I knew what I wanted in a guy. So when I didn’t see it coming, why bother? I wasn’t looking for perfection because I know there isn’t but there are those basic things I wanted to see and experience, that is commitment, ambition, openness and attraction not necessarily in that order but at least they should be featured. Commitment,  in his relationships and work. Ambition in the sense that he’s working towards something, he’s visionary. Openness in that he feel obliged to share with me everything in his past and present, it boils down to respect and humility. Attraction, nothing is happening if there’s none. From how he talks, looks, basically how he is, physically, mentally, spiritually. It’s like a magnet, you either attract or repel.

When I met my boyfriend (sounds like a novel story), I had known him from a while back but we had never had conversation past hi and probably, “it’s a pleasure meeting you”. In my mind, I had decided that I’m going on a sabbatical from men – no dates, no meet up’s etcetera and while at I was praying for a man, my man. I mean, I don’t want to grow old and grey alone, who does? I think I was just fed up by a certain breed of men that I kept attracting. The kind that didn’t fulfil the basic requirements of the man I’d like to be with. It was not amusing, if anything it was quite disheartening. So, even when we started chatting, I was just doing it because he was (still is) pretty interesting. We’re like kindred spirits, so our conversations were in sync. I am not the best at keeping in touch especially via chat or text but he knew how to get me responding and hooked while at it. Then we meet up for date 1 and all my basic requirements bulb lights just blink tick, tick, tick, tick. If I could, I would have asked him out, but I’m traditional, so I took a chill pill.

We talked about everything and anything there was to talk about. I don’t know if there’s a date rule for don’t tell him/her everything on the first date. We went all out, you know like, disgusting example but it’s the best I can think of to describe the situation right now. You know how you feel like farting and you have to hold it in for a while because … ‘lady in the streets’ and when you reach the bathroom or a secluded place you let it all out with such relief. That’s how it was, such a relief and the “fart” went something like, “I’ve finally met you, I don’t have anything to lose, so let me just let it all out … take me as I am or leave me.” That’s how I knew he was serious. The fact that he knew what he wanted, he wanted me and made that pretty clear without a wince or a doubt. I mean what else do I want to hear? If that wasn’t God playing match maker, I don’t know, because apparently he’d also been praying for woman, his woman.

1st Anniversary

1st gig together … 1 year later

It’s not a walk in the park, but it’s definitely worth the stay in the park. In the park, there are banana split rides, roller coasters, all with their highs and lows. We are different, each with our own strengths and weakness that get us to be so mad at each other but also get us to be so in love with each other.  Balancing the highs and lows is very important. We’re as real as we get especially with each other. If you make me mad, you do and I let you know. If you make me happy, you do and I let you know, if it gets boring, it is, we figure what to do to make it more interesting. It’s not as easy as it sounds written but I’m happy I have someone to experience this with. My overlycool. You LIVE, you LEARN, you LOVE.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

What Makes Up The Best Relationships?

“The best relationships are by those people who’ve been in the murk, together. Walked right through it and seen each other step into the light, together.” ~ Kawi

Technically, relationships are not easy. I always say that, because they are not. We want to make it easy, but the people in it are complicated. Generally, people are complicated, even those that say they’re not guilty. People are different. We’ve been brought up in different set-up’s and backgrounds, we have different personalities, we have different needs and wants, we see things from a different perspective and have our own standing opinions, which we want to be heard and believed, we have different principles, some or most of which differ. It’s crazy. Just think about it that way. Then these two people are supposed to love each other effortlessly and easily … no drama, no disagreements, and no differences, that’s impossible. Isn’t that the perfect relationship for you?

Relationships, Life, Life Lessons

Let me burst the bubble, I’m sure many have before, but there’s no perfect relationship. There are no two people you can look at and say these two are the S.I Unit of a perfect relationship. Don’t go into a relationship thinking that it’s going to be perfect; don’t even try to make it perfect. Truth is, it can never be, unless you’re dating yourself. I don’t mean to be a pooper, I’m just being honest. When you get into a relationship, or you’re thinking of getting into one, be realistic. Be realistic with yourself and the person who you’re getting in to the relationship with. Realistic = Happy People.

In life, I love learning. In as much as sometimes it can be piercing, tear jerking and very humbling. At the end of the day, the lessons make you a better person, makes you see things in different light, and while at it, they make your heart lighter.

You see, in relationships, there are two people. Two people who live differently, because you’re your own person. You’re different in all ways except the part where you’re interested in each other. So how do these two people connect? How do they understand each other and know what the other person need and wants? What makes up the best relationships?

Communication

It’s key. Sometimes we make assumptions about the other person or want the other person to read your mind and actions and miraculously know what’s running through your mind. Unless you have special powers, that’s unrealistic. You need to talk to each other and understand where someone is coming from or why they are making this decision and not the other.

Zero Pride

Your ego, it’s big, it keeps growing. That’s how it’s meant to be, but for the relationship, it needs to be contained. You need to humble yourself. The moment you’re in a situation and you think of “I” before “other person”, that’s pride. Cancel that thought and think about “the other person” and then “I”. I learn this the hard way, but it’s a lesson worth learning. Sometimes I wonder, “why am I doing this and he also didn’t do this” or if he asks why I didn’t do something, instead of being apologetic and correcting that, I am like “why didn’t you do that for me as well.” Haha, you do that too huh?

Relationships, Life, Life Lessons

Non – Judgmental

You’re in this person’s space and they’re in yours. The least you can do is let them be without looking at them with judgmental eye. They want to tell you stuff but you shut them down or over-react. Relationships are about extended friendships (like a friend but now with exclusive perks). The same way you’d tell your friend something and you don’t expect them to judge you is the same way it should be in a relationship. I don’t know why when we’re in relationships we become overly sensitive and tacky over anything your person says. The feelings are caught faster than a 737 take off, maybe we need to just calm down and relax.

Enjoy Each Other

Yup, just as it is. Involve each other in your plans, share your dreams and enjoy each other’s company. Introduce them to your friends and vice versa. Let them into your life and them into yours. It makes everything easier, because you won’t feel like you’ve been left outside the box and everyone is having a sick party inside the box. This world can be lonely, but don’t let it be lonely for the person by your side. At least not when you’re there.

Relationships, Life, Life Lessons

There’s no winner or loser in your arguments or opinions. They all matter, so air them and hear each other out. It’s not a competition, you’re in the same team, remember. We forget this, I forget this. This is a reminder, let’s support and correct each other in love.

Thanking the boyfriend for taking us to a place where we learn these things together. Some of these things, you can never sort out alone. If you’re in a relationship, it takes two to tango.

Happy Easter lovelies, keep safe. Lots of Love, Light and Peace!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

 

Simplicity Equals Functionality

Normally, I don’t go back to read on what I have written before, because it’s awkward reading what I’ve written. You know the same way it’s awkward listening to your voice. I don’t know if you find it awkward, do you? I already know I wouldn’t make a good radio presenter. I cringe when I hear my voice somewhere in an audio/video (not that it’s bad, don’t burst my bubble just yet, it’s just … awkward).

Anyhow, I decided to just go back and see what I’m usually on about and I figured I really underestimate myself. I still don’t think I’m really good at whatever I do. I’m confident I can do it, but that’s just about where it ends.  Looking back, I actually do say things that make sense even days and years after.

I forget what I wrote about, when I wrote it, why I wrote it and what I was going through when I wrote it.

Every post has its account. There’s a reason I decide to take a particular angle and not another or why one I decide to say this and not that. Maybe that’s why I don’t revisit them, because I go through a situation, learn my lesson and move on. But I have come to realize that most of the stuff that happens in most cases is not new. It’s the same old experience regenerating itself, in a lesser or a greater way. And the same lessons you learnt then, are the same lessons you learn now. Only difference is that maybe your maturity level has increased and you’re able to handle the situation better.

This could be anything ranging from family, friendships, relationships, career, personal experiences, or general life things. The posts are also a reminder that I’ve grown, even how I process things. I like it when people read the articles and interpret the story by themselves without trying to figure out why I wrote what I did or what drove that thought. I love it when someone can relate a story to their life and even more when it helps them through a situation. Many at times, I also look for inspirations from others through their books, blogs and conversations.

In other related news, one of my “new year” i.e. Birthday resolutions, was to make my life more functional. To me, functionality = simplicity. You can use sites such as OLX Free Classifieds to fix something or buy something that’s functional and reduce the clutter, then you have made your life a little simpler.

Kawi Snippets

That couch – got a carpenter to make one for me, can’t wait for it + the decor on there is just it … ideas). Fixed a cupboard my mum had handed down to me, now it looks fancier. Finally got a cooker – baking can become a reality.

For some reason, I like keeping stuff, but at the same time, I hate clutter and I value space. When I gave this some thought, I figured what I needed is functionality, hence the resolutions. Now, have yourself a lovely 4-day week and #ChaseYourDream.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

A Small Gift, Mini-Afro and Big Lesson

Of those gifts you receive and appreciate because its the thought that really counts, but at that moment you disregard it’s function. I’m sure you’ve received such a gift, no? It’s value is not felt immediately. You probably get home and stack it away in your closet hoping that it comes to be of use. Sometimes you just keep it because it’s a gift and it has some sentimental value.

Well, I don’t receive too many gifts, and especially not at random times of the year. This time, when I chopped my hair, my former colleagues gifted me with a metallic afro comb and a flower hair clip, that was a first. My hair was at base level, so the gift didn’t make sense then. I was all grins because it was a gift and which girl doesn’t love gifts? Whether big or small or if it makes sense or no sense.

Then my hair grew to mini-Afro level and my finger combing tactics were getting a little out dated. It just wasn’t working any more and my hair would get tangled up or look pretty untidy. Then one day as I oil my hair, stacked at the back of my made up “dressing corner” I see the that thing we can equate to “an oasis in the desert”, the metallic Afro comb. Then Arufeni’s wise words came to mind, “you’ll need this sometime” and the time was then.

Afro, Gifts, Blessings, Life Lesson

Moral of the story, sometimes we receive our blessings way ahead of time and they don’t make sense then. We have to go through a phase or a season for the blessing to reveal itself and make itself useful in your life in its time. Don’t trash or undervalue gifts given to you just yet. Receive them, keep them and give them time to mature. Give them time to bring value to your life, because that’s the intention of the gift-giver. While you receive physical gifts from loved ones, blessings are your gifts from God. That’s how he shows you some love, most times, it’s through other people.

Thank you Arufeni and Lydia, now I see the value of the comb. It might have been a small gesture, but it has taught me a big lesson.

Signing Off ~~~*Kawi*

Growing Up With Eczema

 Eczema is a term for a group of medical conditions that cause the skin to become inflamed or irritated. The most common type of eczema is known as atopic dermatitis, or atopic eczema. Atopic refers to a group of diseases with an often inherited tendency to develop other allergic conditions, such as asthma and hay fever. Source

I was just explaining to my friend how I grew up with a bad case of atopic eczema and I thought, maybe I should let you in on that one too. It all started when I was barely 2 months. That’s when my eczema broke out as my mum would tell me. It was dermatologist to dermatologist to figure out what was going on because I would have insistent rushes on my body. They established it was atopic eczema but none of them gave proper treatment that would cure the skin allergies. It got worse every time the weather changed or I wore certain kinds of clothing.

Boshori, Child Headgear

She told me how she once bought a cute woolen headgear (otherwise known as “boshori”). She was so excited to have it on me,  little did she know that my delicate skin was not so welcoming to certain cloth materials. As cute as it looked, it looked even cuter on me, but the itching was in excess and when she got it off, there was a collection of rushes on any part of my face the headgear had touched.

In most of my kid photo’s, my skin was patched, a little lighter here, darker there, rushy here. It was not pretty (at least that’s what I felt then), not on pictures and I guess not in person too. I think I plucked & hid so many pictures from the album so that my friends don’t see them and make rough comments or ask who that was. It reached a point after many appointments and many ointments, that she decided to take matters to her own hands. She’s nurse by profession, a good one at that. She did her concoctions and somehow, it worked for the better part of my life. It would heal then recur with seasons (when it’s hot, when it’s cold), environmental changes (occurrence of pollen, dust), food (we tried weaning off many foods – dairy, wheat, protein, but never quite identified anything I was allergic to), clothes materials (wool, silk, net). I had somehow already gotten used to it.

The eczema was mainly on my face and joints (back of my legs, on my hands, neck – technically, the rashes would appear anywhere but those were the most concentrated areas). How I handled it? I think I owe it to my mum because it would’ve easily been worse. She explained to me from a young age what eczema was and what it wasn’t. She told me it wasn’t contagious and it wasn’t a disease (contrary to what other kids would tell me in school). She told me it was allergy, allergy to certain things which we were slowly discovering together. Of course sometimes I would turn a blind eye to things I was told to avoid. Like when I was told to avoid eggs. I was that kid at birthday’s asking, “does the cake have eggs”, it was always yes, but I sneaked a bite or two. You can only deny a kid so much.

It became my way of life and I got used to it. When it recurred, I would apply the ointments then it subsides and life goes on. At some point, I used to thank God it’s eczema I have and not something else. I came to accept it. Even though at times when the skin gets dry & flaky I’d try conceal it. Sometimes I’d just expose and prepare myself to explain to anyone who asked why my arms have rashes or my face patches. It was the story of my life.

In high school, I got away with eating special diet and not touching dirty water, which meant I didn’t do difficult duties. Reason, I was “allergic” to them. I didn’t even have to get a note from the doctor as it was evident on the skin. I kinda used it to my advantage. By then I was so used to managing it, since I always had my ointments with me. Also lotions were a no-no, most of them were watery which didn’t get along with my skin. So Vaseline and it’s variants worked just fine. Make up, also a no-no, because I could easily react to the chemicals.

Then for some reason, I out grew it. The eczema cleared off. My skin color became even, no patches. There was no trace of eczema. Isn’t that miraculous? Sometimes I get a slight reaction and it bugs me. The small doses of it – from small rashes from reactions to the unknown, allergies (eye itches, sneezing), but they’re manageable and containable. Sometimes, I forget what it felt like to be that girl with heavy rash patches on my joints. It’s easy to forget, when you can pose for a pic with flawless skin or zero patches. I don’t take it for granted, because at one point in my life, I experienced the stigma that comes with eczema.

If you’re going through that phase, you’ll get past it, it’s not permanent and even if it is, that’s just part of who you are. Visit a good dermatologist (in my 27 years I’ve never gotten one that I can vouch for), get an ointment that your skin approves of (and that’s devoid of steroids or that you can apply systematically), an oil that blends with your skin and let it run its course. Don’t let it affect your personality or self-esteem. Those that love you, will look past your skin.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Kawiria Writes – Let’s Dream

This season we’re talking dreams, it’s all about chasing your dreams. This got me wondering what my dream is. This is some serious *excuse my French but…* shit. I don’t know what my Big *Everest* Dream is. Or rather I can’t say it out loud to anyone, which simply means, I don’t know. I have small goals, you know the 3 year, 5 year, 10 year plans – that cater for my lifestyle – career, family and status things. I know where I want to be and at what point but what’s that thing that everything I do, think and say, guide me to?

On giving it a little thought, I think it has something to do with writing or better yet blogging. I love it and enjoy it while at it. My mind wanders, and then settles. Writing takes me to some place, my little piece of nirvana, as I’d like to call it. It’s what I’d like to be identified with. Kawiria writes. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to write a book. I am pathetic at sticking to a story line that’s longer than blog post, unless of course I have a blogook – A book that will be a collection of all my “to go” posts. But honestly, my unpackaged dream is to inspire through my life lessons, or life lessons learnt through others and put them into perspective. I may not be the most exposed or experienced person on earth, but I believe that there’s a reason for my existence don’t we all.

Blogging, Dream, #ChaseYourDream

Now what I need to do is package that dream into something that’s appealing and that I can say and make some sense out of. Something SMART – Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time Bound. Right now it’s very vague. So Kawiria writes, writes what? Let’s work on it, that will be my personal assignment in April. To figure out my Big “Everest” Dream. Maybe I’ll be on a TED Talk telling you about my journey to realizing my dream. A girl can dream, so let’s dream #ChaseYourDream. Have you figured yours out yet?

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*