Lose Yourself. Find Yourself.

Makes me want to start on with Eminem’s - Lose Yourself, although it’s in a different context, but hey takes you back huh?

“Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted in one moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

—-

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime. ” ~ Eminem

Sometimes we lose ourselves. Lose ourselves in our work, school, relationships, talents basically in situations. We lose ourselves trying to accommodate other things and other people and we forget that we also have ourselves to accommodate. We humans (based on the fact that I am one) were created to want to please everyone we come across. You want to make sure that everyone is happy with you, satisfied with whatever it is that you have to offer. And if they are not, you try your best to make sure that they do. Even if it means losing who you actually are to do so. It’s like your happiness is based on their approval stamp.

We lose ourselves in more ways than one. Through our character, our behaviour and our actions. Where you do things that you also don’t comprehend, things that don’t make you happy, that given a chance, you would rather not do it but the situation doesn’t quite allow or it just forces you to be that way. It’s crazy, because you see yourself leaving yourself, literally. It’s like you’re stretching your hand to reach out for yourself but you slowly slip away. When you realize that is what’s happening, you can either: Just confirm to it or decide, it’s about time you found yourself. Conforming to it means that you’ve let go of yourself, you don’t mind not being you. You’re comfortable being  what your situations expect you to be to please them. Even when it drives you nuts, you would rather go nuts, but make sure the people around you are happy with you. But deep inside, you crush, you feel inadequate, like you’re not enough, like life could be better than it is.

When you decide to find yourself. Well, you step on some toes. You know what stepping on toes does, some forgive you and move on. Others react and dwell on it. You’ll probably never hear the end of it. They hate you for being you. But to be yourself you need to be able to defend yourself from the harshness (of the world) and be there for yourself always. It doesn’t mean that you’re going against what people expect of you really, it just means that your happiness, your comfort also matters. As much as other people’s matters. Just because someone doesn’t like you, your world won’t stop. Chances are that someone else loves (or will love) you to greater degree for being the same way. It’s a matter of balancing the scale…lol

You could have everything you need in life, but if you’re not yourself then those things wouldn’t make so much sense to you. And that’s probably the source of your happiness. That could be the source of your smile when all else doesn’t look so promising. If you’re not yourself, then you’re definitely someone else ain’t it? It means your own needs won’t satisfy you, because everyone has different needs. It’s a twist. Knowing yourself, your character, your behaviour  your actions is what keeps you sane. You over-do or under-do something and tell yourself, “Kawi, you’ve taken it too far, that’s not you”. You kiss ass too much, and you tell yourself, “Kawi, you don’t have to do that, just be you.” Actually, I think people like you better when you’re yourself. Just that they probably don’t tell you. I could tell you on their behalf. Because then they know that you’re the real deal, that you’re not pretending. That given a situation, this is how you’ll behave. So that someone doesn’t get surprised like, “Oh my gosh, I would have never though Kawi would do something like that.” This will allow me to love you for you or dislike you for you. Not for who you’re not.

When a situation pushes you to be someone you’re not, be there for yourself. Stand up for who you are. We expect others to be there for us when sometimes we’re not even there for ourselves. You’re your own V.I.P. Yeah, you deserve the red carpet, the V.I.P treatment. Don’t underestimate yourself. I do that sometimes as well, underestimate myself. I feel little, like I don’t have any impact in the life of others. And I let the voices inside my head convince me so. Then I thought about it figured that you deserve all the good things like the  other person next to you. You’re just as beautiful as the person next to you, if not more. You’re just as intelligent just as the person next to you, if not more. So don’t look at yourself and pity yourself or try to be someone else to please others as well as yourself. There’s a reason you are who you are.

“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.” ~ Nora Ephron.

It’s Monday, there can’t be any better form of motivation than,“ just be yourself”. It sounds like a darn easy assignment. LOL. It’s the hardest. That’s all I’ll tell you to do this week.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Something. About. Me.

LOL. Strange way to start the post, I know. But honestly, it’s hilarious how ones life can change in a couple of days, months, years. It just depends when you’re struck by whatever it is that will create that change. Why I was laughing, because I was reading a previous post that made me cringe, then shake my head in almost disbelief. Like “I really said that, no I didn’t”, “how did I even think that”. If I was to write that all over again, the story has completely changed. You know the 360^o kind of change. It would qualify for a face-palm moment.

Then again, it shows that I have really grown. The fact that I can read something I wrote a few years back and it makes me wonder what I was thinking when I was writing it. It’s amazing when something you did a while back gives you that feeling. That feeling of wow, I have come from far, to bring it closer home, yaani nimetoka mbali. I think of my first graduation, first job, my first house, my first relationship, my first blog post, the constant advisory lectures from the parents (he he they were of course almost one-sided, mostly don’t do this, don’t go there e.t.c) and these are the things that made up my foundation. They are what made me even know what direction to and not to take in life. At that particular time, it was all no big deal. It was just living life and doing what I had to do. Then as life went on, I moved into another job, I moved houses, I started dating someone else, wrote more posts. The parental lectures graduated to discussions (it’s two-sided, I give them my opinions, they give me theirs then I weigh them and make a choice). I’ve grown, still am. Little growing to big. It’s amazing.

That’s why I laughed when I read these posts. That one just covers the relationship perspective, there’s this one when I firstmoved out of home, then another when I graduated from my undergraduate and my first post on here. It takes me back, back to where I started out. I started out from down there, from knowing almost nothing about the world. I was like a cub let loose. For those of you who watch Nat Geo, you know how bad it is out there in the wild. You’re prey. Many await to feast on you, lead you in the wrong direction, give you false promises and so on. You are in charge of yourself. You make your own decision, right or wrong. No one is responsible for that but you. It’s crazy in a beautiful way.

To fend for myself, to face the world without the protection of the parents. That’s almost a lie though, because they are on my speed dial. I always update them on things, both good and bad. I always want their blessings in the things that I do or plan to do. Then there’s my boyfriend, he’s on the receiving end of all this I want to do this that and so on, so his opinions really matter as they’ll affect my decisions in one way or another. Then my friend(s), I have started learning to share things. I am not one to. I know it sounds unimaginable considering I am a chatter-box but surprise, there’s some mystery here. It’s like God leads me to people who will help in my venture for growth, the little experience I have gathered in different aspects of my life is through people. People I have known from the places I have been or people I have met in the weirdest of ways or people I have been introduced to. Super support system. You’ve got to love people.

Slowly I have been moving up, learning a couple of things while at it. The one thing that’s been my constant, though sometimes I tend to under-look it sometimes,  is that I strive to excel. I want to grow. The moves I make or intend to make are so that I can grow, so that I can make me and mine better. While at it, make a difference in the lives of the people I meet along the way or better the places I pitch tent in. I think what would make me feel unsatisfied is if I feel that I am not able to do this. If I feel stagnated, if there’s no sense of growth or there’s nothing I can do to make a difference. If I can’t do any of this, then why am I there or why am I doing what it is am doing in the first place?

That’s a little “Something. About.Me”. Also my very first picture-less post. Strange huh?

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

 

February Favorites

We are allowed to extend our birthdays to the month, ain’t it? So that I can still say it’s my birthday month. Sometimes you have to look for ways to still remain the centre of attention even after your happy birthday haha trust me say that ADD much.  We’re just 9 days in to it but this is more of my birthday update. What I was up to. Am sure there’s some curious on lookers. This goes to my mental journal as my best birthday. Just how I’d imagined it. I am not much of a party person (okay that’s a big lie, I am sort of, but for special events, I prefer small and intimate).

1. He came to pick me up as I was working on that day and I planted a BIG kiss on his cheek *read lips* to tell him Happy Birthday. I’m being very modest here…lol
2. I heart this girl. One of my closest friends.
3. The boyfriends cousin and friend. And boy they have mastered the art of eating the “all you can eat meat”. While us the normal people were having see-saw moments with our tummies because of how full we were, they were still doing meat rounds.
4. What’s a birthday without a cake?
5. When stuck in traffic, and it’s your birthday, you can pull of such poses. No one will judge you.
6. Whoever thought I would share the same birthday with the boyfriend and we will blow candles the same time. Never in my wildest dreams. I think I was too excited I forgot to make a wish. I will get used to it with time. On that note, it will always be 2 candles because if we were to put as many as our ages combined…hehe we would be eating candle wax instead.
7. My close friend was getting married the day after our birthday (02/02/2013). So happy for her, she’s like my sister from another mother.
8. Fun times at her evening party with my close friends, double celebrations on our part…lol since we had to hold it back on 1st for her wedding on 2nd. Let loose!
9. No goofy faces = No fun pics. That’s what we were up to right before my friend’s wedding. That’s what happens when you are too early for an event.
10. My beloved birthday gift. I love!

What I would want for the next one:

1. To be out of town.
2. If in town *hmmmm thinking* we’ll have to make it worth the while. There’s a whole year to think it out and maybe just maybe surprise him.

Besides that, I love, love, loved it. Thanks for all the beautiful messages with good wishes and blessings, you made my day more than special. For again, what’s a birthday without those?

Hope you’re having a kick-ass weekend? Mine’s pretty chilled out tending more towards lazy but relaxing all the same.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Friday Quickie

I had a “I doubt it’s Friday” moment while heading to work today morning. You know where you question your conscience, like “what if today is not Friday O_O, I’m in jeans and I am already excited it’s T.G.I.F. Snap, it could be Thursday and I got the days wrong”. It was serious to an extent I postponed updating my status in one of the  sites saying “Thank God tomorrow is Saturday” lest it’s not. I know, you’re probably thinking am going to the other side, the nutsy side that is. But really, has that ever happened to you?

I think it’s because I was feeling happy despite the muddy terrain on my way to work which on a normal day would get me all cursy and mad at the weather man. I mean can’t he just wait for the road construction next to my house to complete, then make it rain. If you have passed by Yaya Center, you definitely know the road am talking about. It’s been dug out and the soil there is clay soil, they have been on it for a while. So when it rains, it gets all sticky and almost impassable, it’s my short cut and seeing as am not willing to wake up a few minutes earlier to use the long way…I have to live with it.

Otherwise, what’s good, what’s not?

• My baby sister (feels awkward calling her the baby, but she’ll always be. She’s taller, bigger, a bully and very demanding, but I love her all the same…lol). She’s finished her O’ Levels. Congratulation young girl. Now we can hang out much much more. Ps: But it’ll be awkward if you introduce me to your boyfriend if you have one at the moment, not sure I can handle that thought yet.
• Boyfriend came back from the short travel. Somebody say goodies. I got yummy goodies, maybe the source of all the Friday excitement. I can assure you today it’s on a different level.
• Work is fine. I was assigned a work mentor. I know right. I think I actually needed someone to share to my developments other than my folks and the bf. Maybe to guide me, we young ones can get lost in translation or in trying to understand what’s going on around us or within us, especially at work and other things related or unrelated. Let’s see how this one goes, since am not the sharing type. She could be the break through.
• School, exams are coming up, bleurgh! But thesis proposal defense was postponed to January 2013 *whoop whoop*. Okay, that’s not a good thing because that means my December will be kind of screwed up. Imagine me reading instead of watching flicks with others or not lazing around, that’s our Christmas culture. That gives me the motivation to work on it now more than ever.
• Parents, are super-duper. I always ask God to bless them with their heart desires. I have never seen people so selfless like my parents, they definitely deserve all that and more.
• Friends, I try to keep up. I try to check up on you as much as I can knowingly or unknowingly (thank God for platforms like twitter, Facebook, blogs, LinkedIn and whatsapp). I know am not the best there is, but I believe I’m sufficient no? But so that you know, I’m the kind that you catch up where we left off. So if you haven’t checked up on me, yes you can.
• Of days, the year is coming to an end. Can you believe it’s like 5 weeks to NEW YEAR? LOL, looking back at my beginning of the years’ post and it just feels like yesterday but with some changes midway.
• Readers, how you find this one here interesting is beyond amazing. You’re presence keeps me and my humble *blog* abode going. I hope to always share things that’ll impact your life positively or just make you feel like your reading what you needed read. (Ever had a moment where someone talks to you and tells you something that you needed to hear but no one was saying it? Yes?, then you get me here).

Since we’re also in the Thanks Giving spirit. If you’re alive, healthy, have at least one reason to smile (notice I didn’t ask you for 100, just 1), a place to call home at the end of the day, family and/or friends (it could be even 1, you’d be surprised that the people who are actually your real friends are just a handful), something you’re passionate about, access to good music. Then dude, you have every reason to say thank you to God and your people for making all these things possible for you.

Inspiration for the day,

Have a super-duper weekend and in the Thanks Giving spirit, staff a kuku (chicken), Turkey is not so Kenyan, eat, drink and make merry. Basically live, laugh and love more, because I know you already do.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Seekers…Keepers

It’s one thing to know what you want or need,  it’s another to get it and another one to create room for those things once you get them because you eventually do. Problem is that if it’s not self-driven and by that I mean envision it, yearn for it or there’s nothing you’ve had to give up for it, you’ll feel short-changed. The satisfaction derived from that whole process should make you feel like you’re on some spaceship headed to the blue moon okay I just exaggerated but you feel me.

Well that’s just once in a blue moon, most of the times we get things that we thought we didn’t want or need or we actually wanted just had thought of them in a more *castle in the air* kind of way and they drive you off your tangent. That right there is what we call experience, because it’s usually an instance that comes and goes but leaves you some few lessons to learn from.

You have to go through a series of instances to actually figure yourself out first. Pretty sure it’s something we have all experienced in one way or another. For some not in the easiest of ways, for others things have come pretty easy it’s like you had it all aligned it for you. All the same, I think it’s always worth the experience, makes you appreciate what you get even more.

I have been through a couple of experiences myself, in work, at school, in relationships of different kinds … it’s just amazing. I know there’s someone out there thinking, amazing? *pops eyes* are you kidding me? Yeah, I guess that’s how I take it in. Maybe that’s why I’m still sane or that’s why you would see me smiling when I should be hitting the roof as I try to contain my hulk. Trust me we all have a hulk in us, or is this the point where I use singular terms like “I”, I have some hulk a.k.a Meru in me.

Sometimes you get yourself somewhere not because it’s the wrong place at that point time, it’s just a stepping stone to the next level. The next level of taking you towards where you want to be. That situation could be grooming you for what life has in store for you. That’s why I say it’s pretty interesting. Think of it that way and you could be somewhat comfortable with your situation. You know the beauty of it is that, lets assume something goes wrong at one point, you will be sad but it won’t last forever. We are all bound to experience different emotions at different time. Both the good and the bad. Sadness, disappointments, bitterness, is just but a part of them, so is bliss, joy, gratefulness and so on. I tend to think they do take turns, because nothing is perfect, no one is from the human perspective. So at one point you’re on a high, the next you’re at a low (you’ve got to know how to chase this one away once it checks in … low is not a sport, never quite looks good on you).

 

Point is, knowing what you want, better yet identifying what you need. An important aspect of this is that it lets you know what to keep and what to let go of (people, a character you hold, something material, it could be anything). What you keep can sometimes be what deters you from getting…no? Then again, you could get what you want but it’s not necessarily what you need or you could get what you need but not what you want…lol talk of life getting it all twisted, that’s its nature though. So lucky are you when you get what you want and need. It’s a plus knowing it, because it gets you to treasure what you’ve got more, work hard for it because you know its importance and make sure that it’s for keeps. Everything does count, it contributes to who you are, what you’re yet to be and last but not least what and who is linked to you.

In other non-related news,  the music I’ve been listening to these days. Who knew there was country gospel … pop’ish kinda music? She’s good, Jamie Grace (one song at a time album) on replay, so soulful!

Just saw this on my friends update and thought to share since sharing is caring and seeing as I haven’t fed your minds in a while, these ones looks like some great lessons to adopt:

1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
2. Marry a man or woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
3. When you say “I Love you” mean it.
4. When you wrong someone, look at them in the eye and say “I’m sorry”.
5. Love deeply and passionately. You may get hurt,but its the only way to live life completely.
6. Talk slowly but think quickly.
7. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
8. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
9. Remember the 3 Rs: Respect for self, Respect Others, Responsibility for all your actions.
10. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
11. Spend some time alone.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Never Meant To Be

There’s something called ‘accepting and moving on swiftly’. Yes, sometimes you have to create motto’s for yourself to abide by or you’ll forever be caught in situations that leave your heart frustrated but in essence they are completely out of your control. There’s just nothing you can do, if it’s not meant to be, it’s just not meant to be. There’s no better way to sugar coat it.

Credits

Think of it like we are puppets and there’s the puppeteer. Up there the puppeteer manipulates the objects with the bars and strings. Then for this two objects (the puppets), there’s that one bar that totally keeps the them apart so no matter what they do to come together, the efforts are futile. Oh tell me you have not experienced this and you must either be a lucky one or there’s something wrong somewhere.

You know how you meet someone and you hit it off from the beginning. Much to talk about, much in common and all those mush things. I mean, you even end up really liking the person and get ideas. But there’s a problem, in as much all this looks and feels amazing there’s something missing. Well, I don’t know what because at that particular time, you’re thinking it’s something that could actually work out. At the same time, there’s that one thing or two that as small as they seem makes you think nah, let’s give it time and see.

As you give it time and try to work against those odds of being together, you just don’t seem to understand each other at a certain point. It just doesn’t work out because there’s always something going wrong, someone trying too hard, it could be from one side or from both. It’s like the puppeteer is trying to give you signs but you’re trying your best to ignore them. The more you try to be together, the more apart you get for some strange reason. Yes, it’s that bar not the place, but the object that’s keeping you apart. Maybe nothing about you is actually compatible like you thought. You’re just working with feelings and the bar is acting as the middle man trying to prevent you from getting yourself into trouble, from heart aches and other related issues.

I know right, that’s how it makes sense best. Sometimes you just need to obey nature. If it clearly shows you something won’t work and your gut feeling to some extent tells you the same, as difficult as it may seem, listen and obey. I mean even magnets don’t attract everything you know, if anything ” like poles repel and unlike poles attract each other”. Thank God for the options of friends, that’s one of the ways you get friend zoned. Plus I don’t think it’s malice or anything, friendship is a good thing and you know as a person, you can’t be emotionally attached to everyone, it’s only reserved for one person really. So as you can see, the friend zone is not such a bad zone after all. At least you’re indirectly or directly involved in someones life anyway.

The problem with people is when they take this the wrong way and you become enemies, which in my case doesn’t cut it, actually, I would find that lame. If your live by certain codes then ‘it’s never that serious’ does really make a lot of sense. If it’s not working out, just be a normal friends and lead a normal life…the phrase ‘it’s easier said than done’, doesn’t work here because it’s actually easier said and done as well. Did you know keeping enemies is a task all together? It’s actually much easier to keep a friend than to keep an enemy, because with enemies you have to pretend so much. No talking, no smiling, no jokes, no laughter, loads of tension…yikes too much! It’s never that serious.

Oi it’s mid week … a few days to Friday, keep strong! Have a productive week and strive to do something awesome, blessings!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Like You? Would You?

 

Has this ever crossed your mind -> What if you were told to go on a date with yourself? Do you think you would like you? Would you enjoy your company or would you feel like forcing a fork down your throat because of how bored you’ll get. Maybe it’s about time you experienced what your friends have to go through *evil grin*

Test it and see how that goes. You know the full cuppa hot chocolate since I’m not a tea fan, with cookies and an imaginary you. Okay, that sounds cray but hey how else will you do it. It’s not every day that people are going to be there for you, you know the ones that you think that will always be there. I mean they also have their stuff going on.

So you should be able to be there for yourself and not pity yourself when people those people you count on are not there? For whatever reasons you have to learn this things the hard way, pretty sure it’s happened to you one time or another. It’s happened to me a dozen of times. The times you expect people to be there it could be on your birthday, when you’re going through ish or you’re just happy and you want to share … they could also be all up in their business too and guess who’s left to be there for you? YOU.

You have to find the joy inside of yourself. Make your self laugh, dress up, be able to just chill out, reflect, be in touch with yourself, know how to love you. Basically be there for yourself. For only then, will you be able to know how to be there for others and it’s importance. Difficult as it seems, yes it is, it’s much fun or so it seems when you have someone or people there to help you out, to chill with, have a good laugh with but what if they are not there. Sulk? Be sad? No! Be happy and go on as usual!

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” ~  Lucille Ball

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Dandy December

Have you ever had an picture but you don’t have a story, or maybe you have a story but you don’t know how to put it down, but you still want to have it up. Oh well, that’s me today. I have had this picture for the longest time and I’ve always wondered how to use it. So it’s being lying in my blog pics folder and I just keep wondering, “Picture, I really want to use you … but how, when, at least I know where”

November was that month for me that can be best described by the royal tears. Funny enough as mentioned earlier, I’m a natural crier … lol but this month anything that got me anywhere close to crying would get a “really?”, or “No ,you’re not!” or “Not now”. From the loss of my uncle, to ‘minor’ heart breaks, too much to handle, home-sickness, loneliness, boredom, just because.

All in all, if there’s one thing about me, is that I’m an optimist. There’s always a reason for everything including those stupid decision made in one case or another which I think everyone does. What matters is what lessons you learn at the end of them all. However, the most important is not to forget to thank God for the blessings too, because failure to see those, you don’t see the beauty of life.

November Lessons 

• Life is short. It doesn’t matter how old you are, the impact is still the same.
• Open your eyes, use your brains and protect your heart.
• Be careful who you open up to. Only a few people actually care, the rest are just curious.
• It could have been worse
• Learn from every mistake and think about it over and over, so that the next time you’re about to repeat it, you feel stupid.
• If you fall and stumble, don’t let it get you. Let it be your inspiration.
• There are friends for a reason, a season and a lifetime. Accept that and move on or move in.
• If you’re not supposed to be in it, then it won’t work out. I think it’s the way of the universe giving you hints.
• Whatever you do, if it comes from your heart, then all is good. If it fails, chances are that you won’t regret it.
• Actions speak louder than words.
• Life is what you make of it, smile with the world it smiles back at you … frown at it, it will most definitely frown back at you.
• Whatever happens to you, just know you’re not the first nor the last. It always gets better eventually. I don’t know how but somehow it does.
• Lastly,

November Blessings

• Life and life in abundance – Good health, beautiful person in and out.
• My family is my number one supporter.
• Awesome friends, who are there for you, who think of you, who check up on you.
• People who think the world of you.
• I’m able to juggle work and school, it’s crazy I say.
• Fun photo-shoot ( here and here ), fun coast trip.  Plus it had been a while since I swam, that was a blissful moment, should do it more often.
• I enjoy what I do … makes waking up in the morning much easier.
• Awesome colleagues.
• Good music – for what would we do without music? It speaks to me. When no one else knows what to say when to say, music does.
• The ability to express myself in writing.
• For being me … I’m social, smiley, loving and I pray nothing changes who I am. It makes everything much much easy.

December is here

So let’s see … December, December, December. It’s come along so fast … jeez! I ain’t complaining, but you know it’s the indicator that the year has come to an end. Any how, it’s also that month that comes with goodies and fun times. Plus at least 3/4 of the people are usually happy, in a holiday and party mood including our bosses *wink*.

Now since it’s finally here, I might as well get into the December program, though I technically don’t have one. What’s with everyone asking what I have planned for Christmas? Am I the only one who never has anything planned? Other than being at home of course, its standard procedure … tihihi

I love that the month is fresh … feels like I’m letting out my spanking new self and here goes my ↓

December Expectation

• Be much smarter – I think the year has had enough lessons on me, now it’s about time I gave back the lessons learnt.
• Finish my exams – Oh my I can’t wait. Still getting used to the whole “Back To School” set up.
• Have fun fun fun – That’s the standard procedure for December, wherever I am, whatever I do … just make sure it’s fun even if it’s sleeping.
• Be a bit random, crash parties, visit people and places, basically ↑
• Make my family and friends happy, have a laugh , catch up – It’s goodie goodie month. Oh, the excitement.

Quote of the day

Someday is why we never say never. It’s the reason we never give up, the reason we never give in. It’s a place in our hearts that can’t be broken, where our dreams always come true and the moment we’ll never let go ~ Justin Bieber

To a Dandy December full of laughter and lots of love! Just the way it’s supposed to be. God Bless Ya’ll … xo!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Yes, I’m a Girl

So I was doing my blog whoring here and there. Sometimes I just follow links from one blog to another looking for interesting reads. Some which I can relate to, others I can learn from, others I can critic but not loudly, others make me laugh and I’m sure to bookmark them. I am easy to please, so some become my favorites and every now and then I go back.

There’s this poem like thing going round the internet, “Yes, I’m a girl”. Actually saw it at this blog and later in some fan pages. It totally got me, because from the 1st to last, that’s so me.

Yes, I’m a girl.

I push doors that clearly say pull.

I laugh harder when I try to explain why i’m laughing.

I walk into a room and forget why I was there.

I count on my fingers in maths.

I hide the pain from my loved ones.

I say it is a long story when it’s really not.

I cry a lot more than you think I do.

I try to do things before the microwave beeps.

I listen to you when you don’t listen to me.

And a hug will always help.

Yes, I am a girl

Then after reading, of course I felt like adding others in as much as I thought what’s said basically sums it all up … but being a girl, there’s always much more … lol

Yes, I’m a girl

I ask why even when I know the reason

I say “it’s okay” when it’s really not okay

I say give me a minute when I actually mean 15 minutes or more

I stare at my wardrobe for ages before deciding what to wear

I blubber when excited and keep quiet when sad

I think and act with my heart

My brain comes into play when it’s a bit too late

I say I don’t know when I actually know

The smallest of things get to me

I can go from normal to not so normal in a few seconds

I read manuals because I’m clueless

I wait for you to call me or text me first

I keep checking my phone or waiting for a beep once I click ‘send’

I hide behind my colors

If I forget, it was not out of choice

Sometimes I don’t say what I mean, but I mean what I say it’s supposed to confuse you

I have a lot running through my head

I cannot capture my thoughts in a simple sentence

Sometimes just a hug and a smiley face will do

Love makes my world go round

Yes, I’m a girl

Quote of the day

Hope the week is fairing well? Don’t forget to give thanks for the blessings seen and unseen.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Of Signs, Love and Life

Random thought : Do you ever think that God sometimes has some serious laughing moments when he listens to our thoughts?

Now, now, now where to begin! This is one of those posts I have been wanting to write for the longest time but I never know exactly how to. I know you’re probably wondering why, well, that’s because it’s about life, love and the irky relationships. If you’ve read my post before, you probably know that I’m one of those people who’s big on relationships and love, but umm not any more.

I have just come to the conclusion that I don’t understand the whole concept of relationships and chances are that I was probably not cut out for it, but since I most definitely don’t want to be a nun or celibate, I will need to figure it out some day *read sooner than later*. You know how sometimes you want to try figure yourself out without having to ask others, yeah, that’s was an epiphany I had, now that sometimes my mind is usually on an overdrive.

Ever heard of the zodiac signs?

The signs of the Zodiac can give us great insights into our day to day living as well as the many talents and special qualities we posses where you can discover a great deal of relevant information about yourself, get to know things like why you are so attached to your possessions or why you are so emotional and so on.

You can also learn as much as you can about the traits of the different sun signs and make your life flow smoother because you understand the motives behind Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra , Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius and Pisces. In case you didn’t know there are 12 of them.

The funniest thing is that I used to think that these zodiac signs are the most stupid things ever. Until I grew up I got myself reading through my dear zodiac sign, Aquarius! And 3/4 if not all the things I was reading I was left in awe because that’s so me, I was like this O_O the whole time. Of course there’s those one or two things where I’m a bit different thanks to factors such as family, background, experience and so on. Then I started reading others peoples signs and I’m like, “Jeez! If I had read this stuff before”. Then I would know what I am getting myself into when dating or befriending some people and maybe it would’ve been much much easier than it was.

And the more I read them, the more I’m like how do people with such different traits even manage to be together … It’s just depressing. You know how a person whose a loner “ingoing” dates someone who’s outgoing … And the loner wants time to themselves and this other one wants to hang out with the loner (of course it would end up being annoying for both) or if it’s two loners then they’ll stay apart because they all want to be alone, if it’s two outgoing guys then there’s going to definitely be something wrong somewhere because there needs to be one who’s a bit relaxed (I’m just guessing) … see why I say I don’t get this! This is just one very random complex example.

Hahaha *evil grin* So of late I’ve been asking my friends their birthday dates or for the ones that I know, I have checked out some of their traits from the zodiac signs and guess what … some are totally matching *scary huh* but what’s better than having an idea of what you should be expecting from people? Maybe it will make disappointment easier to handle, or at least you will know what it is about them that’s going to disappoint you or make you happy and if your traits and theirs can at least get along and if not, what you need to do to compromise like be more persistent, more patient and stuff like that.

Anyway since I can’t keep running away forever, I’ll have to learn how to deal with the “completely opposite to me” people, dealing with disappointments. Considering I also have flaws, as much as I’m running from certain disappointments, I could also be a disappointment to someone … tihihi! I don’t want to grow old and alone, that’s pretty boring so can this fairy tales we used to watch when we were young just happen … Kiss a frog and it turns into a prince or the knight in shinning armor comes to save this damsel in distress. If wishes were horses, clearly weaves would be non-existent and they definitely aren’t *snaps back to reality*.

QUOTES OF THE DAY  got to be a bit positive you know :p 

“Life is about trusting your feelings and taking chances, losing and finding happiness, appreciating the memories, learning from the past, and realizing people change.”

“We think there is always a tomorrow, so why expose our feelings today? Why risk being vulnerable? Why take the chance? Because today, what we love, what we feel, what is real, is what we have. Tomorrow, it may all change.”

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*