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1st Date: Figuring Him Out

I had done as a Guest Post on Here while ago. I knew a time would come when I’d re-post it. This is it.

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The other day, a mutual friend I share with the boyfriend and who’s one of my best friends asked me, “how did you know he was serious?”The question did catch me off-guard and all I responded was, “he told me so”. Then I thought that’s pretty stupid of me considering actions speak louder than words. I felt that maybe I need to explain to her a little further on how it transpired. Just so that she’s not told by someone who’s trying to woe her, that he’s serious, get’s into it and he turns out to be a douche. I am very territorial when it comes to people I love and I never want to see them get hurt. If only it was in my ability.

So this is what transpired. I was single for a while, in this time I met all kind of guys and from each I met, even if nothing was intended per se, I would kind of size them up then ask myself, “can I handle this one or is this the kind of person I want to be with for the rest of my life?”.  Yes, I was sizing up anyone who showed interest in me and it’s the answer to this BIG question that used to slap me back to reality. The reality that told me, “keep off”. It even got to a point my family and friends wondered if I was serious and I would get worried lectures. In my head, I’m like; “it’s me who’s in the playground, not you”. Of course I didn’t tell them that but I totally downplayed the situation.

Sad thing then but good thing now, is I knew what I wanted in a guy. So when I didn’t see it coming, why bother? I wasn’t looking for perfection because I know there isn’t but there are those basic things I wanted to see and experience, that is commitment, ambition, openness and attraction not necessarily in that order but at least they should be featured. Commitment,  in his relationships and work. Ambition in the sense that he’s working towards something, he’s visionary. Openness in that he feel obliged to share with me everything in his past and present, it boils down to respect and humility. Attraction, nothing is happening if there’s none. From how he talks, looks, basically how he is, physically, mentally, spiritually. It’s like a magnet, you either attract or repel.

When I met my boyfriend (sounds like a novel story), I had known him from a while back but we had never had conversation past hi and probably, “it’s a pleasure meeting you”. In my mind, I had decided that I’m going on a sabbatical from men – no dates, no meet up’s etcetera and while at I was praying for a man, my man. I mean, I don’t want to grow old and grey alone, who does? I think I was just fed up by a certain breed of men that I kept attracting. The kind that didn’t fulfil the basic requirements of the man I’d like to be with. It was not amusing, if anything it was quite disheartening. So, even when we started chatting, I was just doing it because he was (still is) pretty interesting. We’re like kindred spirits, so our conversations were in sync. I am not the best at keeping in touch especially via chat or text but he knew how to get me responding and hooked while at it. Then we meet up for date 1 and all my basic requirements bulb lights just blink tick, tick, tick, tick. If I could, I would have asked him out, but I’m traditional, so I took a chill pill.

We talked about everything and anything there was to talk about. I don’t know if there’s a date rule for don’t tell him/her everything on the first date. We went all out, you know like, disgusting example but it’s the best I can think of to describe the situation right now. You know how you feel like farting and you have to hold it in for a while because … ‘lady in the streets’ and when you reach the bathroom or a secluded place you let it all out with such relief. That’s how it was, such a relief and the “fart” went something like, “I’ve finally met you, I don’t have anything to lose, so let me just let it all out … take me as I am or leave me.” That’s how I knew he was serious. The fact that he knew what he wanted, he wanted me and made that pretty clear without a wince or a doubt. I mean what else do I want to hear? If that wasn’t God playing match maker, I don’t know, because apparently he’d also been praying for woman, his woman.

1st Anniversary

1st gig together … 1 year later

It’s not a walk in the park, but it’s definitely worth the stay in the park. In the park, there are banana split rides, roller coasters, all with their highs and lows. We are different, each with our own strengths and weakness that get us to be so mad at each other but also get us to be so in love with each other.  Balancing the highs and lows is very important. We’re as real as we get especially with each other. If you make me mad, you do and I let you know. If you make me happy, you do and I let you know, if it gets boring, it is, we figure what to do to make it more interesting. It’s not as easy as it sounds written but I’m happy I have someone to experience this with. My overlycool. You LIVE, you LEARN, you LOVE.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Love Without Limits *Guest Post*

To see and hear other peoples views of the world and its happenings  is more than amazing, that’s one thing that always gets me. @Dyrants my very noisy desk-mate and friend decided to do a guest post here *yaaay*. No, I didn’t tell her what to write about, so this is all her…

“It’s the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance. It is the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance. It is the one who won’t be taken who cannot seem to give. And the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live.” ~ Bette Midler

There is no perfect way to live. There is no right way to live. Our parents/guardians teach us good values to guide us through life. Teachers give us knowledge and information to get us through life; kind of like equipping us with practical skills to help us survive. On the other hand the society at large has an idea of how you should live life; what you should do and what you shouldn’t do. ‘The society’ disguises itself as friends, relatives, colleagues and acquaintances that we come across in our day to day lives. They pass judgement and question our beliefs, ideologies, choices, options and even go as far as offering solutions to the problems that they have created. These are people you trust or relate with daily and slowly their ideologies replace yours, their choices soon become your choices and your beliefs fade away. We start to live someone else’s life. At the back of our minds however our ideologies never really die. They just coil due to the pressure from external forces. They try to speak up but fear of ridicule wins that fight and we find ourselves doing what is expected of us and not what our heart really desires. Some might call this reason; I choose to call it fear, cowardice.

I love this quote by Bette Midler because it encourages me to be who I am and not what I am expected to be. I love even when I know I’m loving the wrong person/thing or for the wrong reasons. I love because it’s what my heart wants; because in that moment and time it’s what makes the most sense. Some may call this a weakness but I love without judgement until given reason to. Everyone deserves a chance to be loved and love back. I am not afraid to love because I know that if my heart does break, I’ll still live to see another day. I’ll proudly walk away and say, at least I got the chance to meet person ‘X’ The scars on my heart can tell their own story of sleepless nights and the tears but they can also tell a victory story. Of lessons learnt.

Time heals all wounds they say. We just don’t realise how true this is until we’re faced with a situation that we thought we’d never recover from. Love. It’s the only chance you’ll ever get plus YOLO (shoot me) if your heart does break, fix it! Bandage it! Walk away with your head held up high, you loved, you learnt and I’m sure it was worth it while you were in it.

Author : @Dyrants

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Guest Post: Rabbi

As promised, I managed to convince my baby sister (Clara) to give me one her poetry pieces for you to read. Sometimes I have a look at them and all I can say is, WOW!

 

  RABBI

Confused and alarming frenzy

Gave up my all in the offing

Blinded by ambition and purpose

Divided through trials and tribulations

Beyond the process of authenticating

You bring me this

I beg not to differ

For thy knows what is best for I

But Rabbi,

Take one last look at this damsel

Broken to bits left for the bull

Dark day’s instant nights

Forsake bread and butter for the cause

Do away with chaos

None the less despair

I thought Rabbi had colossal clemency

Enough to pick up dumped trash

Enough to respond to gloating me

Take not my will for it is all I am left with

No man has an iota what you are about

But I have a hint

Sixteen years strong

Now I know better

You are no vending machine

No automated teller machine

Hold your stallions tame your lion

Count your blessings the rest discard

The darkness will turn iridescent

For what Rabbi can do, can make karma compromise.

Author ~ Clara Rincuni

A Place to Belong

Photo Credits

Feeling of displacement aside

Out of place, dis-appreciation all dim lights

I need something that’ll shine

A sign to show I’m welcome

Part n’ parcel of the gang

But everything is so distant

In one place I was guaranteed and belonged

Where the drums beat loudest

And my heart comes in whole

Where the smiles are abundant

And everything breathes hope

Recognition doesn’t matter

The only place my name n’ fame doesn’t count

Safe abode where my mind is in peace

And my body comes in handy

But …

I look forward, I see blank faces

Full with disappointment, disgust and pity

I wasn’t part of them, that, not a doubt

I wasn’t even like them, can’t be figured out

Where could I possibly fit

A place where I wouldn’t be a misfit

Somewhere I was calm

Not dense n’ damp

The sound of music, the feel of innocence

My daily constant dose of heroine

Every sniff sends me flying

Pass everything n’ I’ll do it good

As long as it’s a note with a tune

A lyric like do-re-mi-the chords

They look corny while they’re at it

But the way they’ll pull it off is just MAGIC

Head :  Side to Side , Waist : Likewise

Beauty in the making, utterly breathtaking

But all I wanna do is sing

Whether it’s Pink or Elvis Presley

The beats of the track slowly on crazing

When I say B.N.P

I don’t mean … Before Nubian Prince

I mean … Bra, Knickers n’ Pants! LOL

♥ Rockphile

 Yeah, that’s poetry by my baby sister. She’s a rock fanatic, as you can see it in her “name”. I discovered she does poetry because she would take my incomplete journals or get us to buy her journals every other month. Not that I’m snoopy *in my defence* … lol, but I happened to land on one or two of her poems and I thought WOW. So I asked her if I can do a guest poem on my blog. I love how she writes. Here’s another one she’s done here before (You Are Special).

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“A place belongs forever to whoever claims it hardest, remembers it most obsessively, wrenches it from itself, shapes it, renders it, loves it so radically that he remakes it in his own image.” ~ Joan Didion

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Pete Says ***

Jagshemash!

The idea to guest post here came about during a random chat with Kawiria. Having recently discovered this blog, I immediately liked the cheerful, full-of-life style she invariably has in her posts. In fact, the TGIF [T_IF for the atheists] posts are totally un-friggin’-missable for me.

Well, I primarily blog on The Walkabout. In addition, I do have other blogs viz: Complit Design, Green Initiatives, Connect eMagazine and the latest Pete R Njenga on Books.
That said, my post today will simply touch on things that I hold dear. That is learning, sharing, music and something that Kawi’s name exemplifies – happiness. 

Learning and Sharing

I write a bit, but read a lot more. It is through reading that I get to learn the most, inasmuch as there is a lot to learn from what we hear, see, or otherwise experience. Reading has always been a way to discover new things, to visit new places, to learn more about ourselves… just wallowing in the beauty of the written word can be orgasmic [no, I ain't talking about reading erotic stories]. Reading is simply awesome.

It so happens that every once in a while, I encounter some written stuff that is so good to keep to myself. That is where the need to share kicks in, since only through sharing do we add value in others’ lives. In the timeless words of one Carlos Castaneda,

 Once awareness is free, intent will redirect it into a new evolutionary path.

For this reason, I’ll share with you something I once read and found immensely profound. It is a small document that is aptly titled Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. Published by the Acton Foundation for Entrepreneurial Excellence, it is actually a cautionary tale that is designed to help you rise above your instincts and urges, to begin a search for the life you were meant to live. Once you have abandoned a foolish quest for the ephemeral rewards of happiness, wealth and power, you can begin to look for your true calling on this earth…

Read more about it and download your free copy here [PDF, 344KB]:

Music

When it comes to music, I listen to a wide variety of genres. Music is essentially poetry that is enhanced with a tune for easier listening. One thing I purpose to do is to actually listen to the words I get to hear in music. This ensures that I never miss out on the lyrical insight that is often present in many songs.

To this end, I’ll share one of my many favorite songs, titled In Repair, from John Mayer’s Continuum album. This song is a constant reminder that we are in a perpetual state of amelioration, on our way to success, attainment, deep satisfaction and fulfillment.

♪ I’m in repair, I’m not together but I’m getting there…♫

Here’s some more music that inspires yours truly.

Happiness

It goes without saying that this blog is a happy place. Kawi has gracefully made it so, who are we to question that?
I’d however be remiss if I didn’t ask, What is the difference between happiness, satisfaction and fulfillment? Even more interesting, are you pursuing sensual pleasures and material success for the wrong reasons? It is my hope that you find your answers here:

Dziękuję!

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I don’t want to spoil the post, but having readers such as @peternjenga is quite an inspiration for my new *not so big* hidden talent. Thanks mister, I’m grateful and keep up the good work you’re doing!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

You Are Special

Did I ever say that poetry kinda lost itself somewhere along the family line … Oh well, I was clearly quite wrong. Seeing as my baby sister *read baby* Clara, has poetry running up her sleeves. I happened to read one of the many she has, seeing as I’m not big on poems…and I was overtaken by emotion, like extremely stocked by the fact that she can actually write so well. So I literally begged her, if I could at least do a guest post…with her poem being the one featured on it…no I did not bully her….she let me willingly…lol

Here goes;

You Are Special

Being set on speed dial ain’t normal

Nor is a polo shirt formal

But you’re a part of me that without I can’t go on

You helped me tell bad stuff so long

And build up my morals

A sitting soldier may be sent A-wall

But a loyal one is adorned

Like you, you gave your all

So that in the cold I’d be warm

You taught me difference of right and wrong

Loving me you never adjourned

And for that you are special.

 

You taught me all about Jesus

And I remember my first pair of adidas

Long before the invention of sneakers

In my blood veins flows your pictures

My memories filled with your impact

Dad, never did your goals retrack

Nor mum your love retract

Whenever I need anything or feedback

To your side I’ll run back

Because I know you got my back

I just want you to know you are special.

 

Though for now you are away

I keep texting everyday

But I guess its nature so I must obey

My value for you will never fade

But everyday it grows in a way that is positive

And I’m damn sure that

You are a part of me that’s special.

 

Yeah this was a poem to Mum and Dad … Too sweet, if she’s writing this at 15 … I wonder what she will write at 23. At least I see talent in the making; I bet I’ll just try doing my best to nature it. Maybe I should introduce her to Wamathai.com …or uuuuummmm…hahaha, maybe later.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

HAVE A LOVELY DAY MY PEOPLE’S!

Signing Off  ~~~ *Kawi*

 

Commercialization Of Poetry

Like the say a picture is worth a thousand words … That’s true, and I say,  poetry on the other hand,  expresses those a thousand words into to something more tangible, something with an emotion and a feeling to it.

Poetry [poh-i-tree] – The art of rhythmical composition, written or spoken, for exciting pleasure, by beautiful, imaginative or elevated thoughts ~ Unknown Author

Of late, I have found myself attending many Poetry gigs such as Open Mic/Kwani/Wamathai Exclusive or whatever the event organizer decides to call them. It wasn’t my norm before and as I always say I’ve never been poetic..I tried and I failed…lol, but out there, there is talent I must say. Me, who’s not into poems, can stand and actually listen to a poet go ahead and let out his/her thoughts…they must be magical…they are.

So in the process, I happen to be a fan of one poet known as Jemedari. I shall not reveal his real names, I signed a Non-Disclosure. He’s really goood, I mean if you’ve listened to him do his thing, he’s got some bass voice, with the rhythmical  flow of words…I mean he’s a professional poet I must say.

We all want to make a living out of what we are talented in (or what we can do best). I mean if one can turn talent into business, it’s so much fun I wish I could to do what you love doing while at the same time it earns you a living or even just for sustainability purposes. This mainly would apply to performing artistes such as Poets (who seem to be assumed). And this is where this *Commercialization* comes in. Please read the post below, and you’ll understand their sentiments.

The Commercialization Of Poetry

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Dear Reader,

As is the norm,I tend to get moments of insight in which I go off and shoot in the dark about some topic that affects artists. For as much as I am an artist, I am also a critic of the arts. I had promised to give an insightful piece on the commercialization of poetry so here goes…

As previously mentioned, many an artist has gotten to the open Mic stages that are constantly expanding the realms of performance arts. However, at the end of the day, we all go home to the same arguments that there is no monetary value in the art… Why??

As is the common trend now, we have all gotten into the “giving” artistic spirit. Few artists who seek to create platforms have organized events in which other artists come in to “support” the venture. I have no problem with the complimentary entrances, the bitings and even the mad “intros” and “shoutouts”.. PAY ME!!

Many are the events that we get invited to, skip the entrance charges “VIP style”, give our all on stage and still go home empty-handed. GET THIS RIGHT! It’s not about money. It’s about SUSTAINABLE GROWTH!

If the said event is making money out of entrance fees, minus the expenses, it is my firm opinion that every artiste be compensated for their efforts in making the event a success.
Before I come out like a greedy poet (both of which I am not), lets attack this logically

Every artist gets into the game to make a name through their poetry, get a few followers and get recognition and a reputation for his/her work. Over time, this “name” becomes a BRAND, the followers grow into a FAN BASE/ SEGMENTED MARKET, the poetry becomes a product, the reputation becomes a BRAND IDENTITY and the recognition becomes WORTH. (Not too shabby, huh??)

CURRENTLY, the brands are getting an expanded segmented market of willing consumers who are constantly becoming brand loyal. This loyalty leads to the increase in demand for the product. Several events are created but the product is limited, monotonous and boring. Why?? Because the BRANDS CANNOT AFFORD TO MAKE NEW PRODUCT! ITS BAD FOR BUSINESS!!!

The artists are making all these efforts yet the money is going to the wrong pockets!! There is demand for audio CDs, books, cards and the occasional performance but what most people do not realize in that all of this is a cost to the artist! So if I was making a loss, would I make an effort to keep new material flowing?

As a business oriented artist, HELL NO! Hence the reason why there are artists who perform the same material over and over again! They do not see the need to take it further!! What is wrong?

  1. Too many events that focus lesson the artists and more on the hype
  2. Too few resources for poetry to look like gainful art
  3. Too many overzealous event organizers who still take advantage of the fact that poets are not business savvy
  4. Lack of business savvy poets

So I guess it’s now in your hands. I may not have covered all the ills but I am determined to make this a topic towards the improvement of the state of affairs. In the next installment of this article, I shall be discussing the way forward.

Look forward to “HOW IT SHOULD BE: POETRY RESURRECTED

All feedback is appreciated

By Jemedari.

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PS: Feedback is appreciated and *READ BETWEEN THE LINES*

Cheers!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

A smile is beautiful

In my attempt to write anything poetic… I was bored over lunch and decided:

Step 1: Pick a word of something about you or that which you love doing

Step 2: Write something about it…more like a poem’ish

Step 3: Post it no matter how lame it sounds…lol

PS: This was the result.

Smile, because you have every reason to,

You have been given life and life in abundance

It’s a way of appreciating it without trying too much

It doesn’t cost a thing to smile.

Even if you’re going through turmoil,

There is probably someone going through worse than you are

Smile and show them that everything is going to be okay

With God nothing is impossible; all you have to do is believe.

A smile is natural, it’s fulfilling and beautiful

It brings out the beauty in a person

It reveals a part of you, which otherwise we wouldn’t know

It makes you look worthy, trustable and honest

For what more would a stranger want from you besides a warm hearty smile?

Saying you’re welcome to be a friend

Or a friend, saying I am always there for you.

A smile means much more than meets the eye

It has its meaning in-depth,

But the bottom line is, a smile is beautiful.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Everyone can make you SMILE, but not everyone can make you HAPPY.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Mr.Mechanic *Guest Poem*

I request you to trust me enough to bring your car to my workshop

I promise to take good care of it and to give it a complete and thorough tune-up

I know you have taken it to other mechanics that disappointed you

But I’m different and very good at what I do

I will pull all the stops and my effort will be 100%

I’m not claiming to be faultless but I have an eye for detail

And I won’t stop until the job is done, to near perfection

I’ve worked on your type of car before and I promise to handle it the right way

Am certain I won’t disappoint and the results will blow your mind

Just trust me.

© james wamathai 2008

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PS: So today my blog gets a visitor @Wamathai’s poem. I’m not big at poems myself {He is}, seeing as the closest I’ve gotten to composing  one was my “SOMETIMES” post. *pat on back*

Check many many many more poems in this site : - http://wamathai.com , he does host a couple of poets and authors, be sure to be entertained, as they reveal peoples thoughts, desires, experiences and the works.

Cheers my people.

Signing off ~~~ *Kawi*