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Curves and All

I read this article on Bev’s blog. Like she had advised, I clicked on the original story, and I was touched by what I read. That’s what informed my post today.

Meaghan Kausman, Curves

Meaghan Kausman’s photoshopped image is above; the untouched photo is below. Credit: Instagram.

In our society, size is a weighty matter. See what I did there. But it is, for everyone really, regardless of your size. “You’ve become skinnier”, “you’ve gained some weight”, “there’s no clothes your size”, “try a size bigger”, “maybe you should try sit ups, press ups or planks”, “you should eat some more”, “no, just eat less – more fruits & vegetables, some protein and less starch”, “don’t eat past 7pm, digestion doesn’t take place”.

I’m pretty sure you’ve encountered some of these random statements in your conversations, if not all of them. And boy isn’t it exasperating. I use them too, so I’m as guilty as charged. How does it make you feel? Well, it makes me a little more conscious about how I look. It makes me think, maybe I can do something about it, like I can make myself shrink instead of expand superpowers. Even when really, it’s nature organizing your body for you. Curves and all.

There’s also this belief that petite people shouldn’t talk about weight, because well, they don’t have weight to talk about. But funny enough just as anyone who’s not petite is affected by weight, so are the people you see as petite (which is relative by the way). So it’s awkward when I tell my friends I’m feeling like I’ve grown a little bigger, but they cannot see what I’m talking about. Sometimes I see it, sometimes I don’t too – it could depend on what I’m wearing, what I’m eating, and other times, just hormones – those that make you feel like you don’t look as hot in the present or as you envision yourself.

The other day, I found myself thinking, “Damn, my clothes are definitely tighter”. My once flat tummy, is not so flat anymore, there’s that bottom bulge. My hips, oh well, they’re shaping up, like they weren’t already. Considering I’m not a big shopping fan. You’ll find that I still have clothes that I used to wear way back in campus which until now still fit. Until one day, I’m finding myself having to jump up and down for them to fit. I’m in disbelief. In all honesty, if I could stay the same size I would, but then I’d have to starve or gym myself to skinniness. Nah, I can’t deal. So I try to keep fit by doing some housework here and there, skipping,  planking sometimes, but mostly, just trying to eat healthy.

One thing I told myself is that, I ain’t 22 anymore. I’m aging and growing and it’s not only the age number that  increases. The height and weight too. Remember, Body Mass Index (BMI)? Remaining the same size will be a little too ambitious, although some people make it happen – genes, regulated meals, some serious work out.

I feel that there’s some alluring confidence and sexiness that comes with embracing your body, as is. Also, not everyone can be a size 8, or a size 14, the world would be a boring place. God knew what he was doing when he made us all different, but still in his image. Rock you, as you are! However, that doesn’t mean you let loose and care less about your appearance or size for that matter. It means don’t look shabby, actually, never look shabby. Always, take care of yourself, look and dress pretty, keep healthy. Don’t Photoshop your body either. When you love yourself, even the people around you accept & love you just as you are, because you are a beautiful petal.

Embrace your body, curves and all.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Irreplaceable Values in Friendships

I have been silent, guilty as charged. I’ve also felt it. It wasn’t by choice as the other areas of my life were seeking pretty much a huge chunk of my attention. The remaining 10% of which I could have stolen a chance to write, mostly in the evenings, I dozed off, watched a movie with the mister (which means, dozed off) or hosted friends over for dinner (which means, mini-party). However, I’m 100% well, which I’m thankful for, and so are the people dear to me. It feels like we should say AMEN already.

In other news, remember the What Next post. Well, I’m planning to make sure I have answers to your ‘what next’ questions about my life plans. You know things like, “when’s the wedding”. Now that we’re starting on the traditional bit, that’s some good progress. Truth be told, I never imagined that I’ll be thinking such big things (like marriage and a wedding) this soon. I smile every time I remember that we have a wedding to plan, yet I have no clue how to go about it. But that should never be a bother, we have a wealth of experience around us – to think we already have a designer and wedding planner in the family.

I remember the mister once telling me that I was the 1st girlfriend to actually take him to a wedding or traditional wedding (ruracio). Sometimes I have goldfish memory, but that one stuck in my mind. For once, when he told me (I must’ve just aww’ed then, however this is the real feeling), I felt like I have made a difference in my partner’s life. In an insignificant way to me (because to me, it was just another traditional wedding or wedding) but in a significant way to him (because to him, it’s something he’d always wanted to do but an opportunity had never presented itself). On the upside, at least he never got an old person poking him and telling him “you’re next”. Now, he has a person to point to if that questions ever comes his way.

Just before you wonder what I value in our friendrelationship, let me tell you just one before I drop down a long list. He was my first cooking and now baking buddy. He taught me how to grill (or basically use the oven) – at least I’d mastered the pan, so food-wise he was sorted out. We also baked our first cupcakes together – Google was the teacher. No pans or sufuria’s have been thrown to the other in the process so far. That’s a good thing, considering we still cooperate even when the recipes get confusing or when one thinks they can do it better than the other but figure how to accommodate each other’s expertise.

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That got me thinking of values. Do you ever think of what value you add to the person(s) you meet or the people you spend your days with? Because what’s friendship if you don’t add some value to someone? If you don’t feed off each other? Yes, friendship is a symbiotic relationship. I usually say that if I meet someone and we hit it off, at least let us have a conversation that will somehow build each in one way or another, even if for humors sake. Like leave someone laughing their guts out or happy about themselves or what they do.

What makes someone irreplaceable is not who they are or seem to be as individuals, but the value they bring to your life, even if for the moment you interact with them.

There are people you meet and you feel like they’re sucking the life out of you, like you’re offering too much of yourself yet you’re getting nothing in return. While there are others you meet that speak life into you and the moment you part ways, you feel reenergized, and given a chance, you’d not want to let them go. What are those things you value in your friendships?

Happy Eid Mubarak to all my Muslim friends.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

What Are You Doing For Others?

Just imagine you’re on traffic and you want to join the next lane, but this person keeps on blocking you from joining his lane. Annoying right? Well your mind goes on an overdrive, “*throws some curse words their way* stingy blocker, they just don’t want me to prosper.” That’s what runs through your mind, no? At least that’s what we say about the people who just can’t bare seeing you ahead of them or successful.

Then, there’s this person that just paves the way for you. You indicated that you want to join his lane and he just gives you way struggle-free and life moves on. Not that you deserve it, they’re either just generally courteous or they felt that desire to momentarily put their needs aside and give you a hand in handling yours. Sometimes you’re the road hog and you think that your business is more important than the other persons’, or that you are more deserving (which means, at that moment you think they’re not).

We forget to then that reason we get through a couple of circumstances is because someone somewhere paved the way for you. Not necessarily giving you way in traffic, but that counts too. Like going out of their way to make sure that you’re sorted out if you had an issue; taking time out of their tight schedule to be there for you, it could be through a visit, a call, a text saying “hi” or simply, liking their Facebook status; finding out what disturbing your friend/acquaintance and giving them your ear even if for a moment; biting the bullet for your team-mate and walking with them through a tough situation.

This may go unnoticed. Actually, in most cases it always does, at least by the public, but it makes a humongous difference for the person directly impacted. You that feeling when the person in traffic paves way for you and you want to; get out of the car and shake his hand, or wave frantically, or give them a big “THANK YOU” shout out. Now imagine if we generated that kind of feeling in all the places we grace or the people we rub shoulders with?

Kawi Snippets, Paving The Way

Doing something for someone (small or big) without necessarily expecting recognition or a return of the favor, but just because you want to see them ease-up and smile, even if for a moment. Those are the things that keep me awake at night. Most of the time.

Happy Hump Day!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Reflective Friday

It’s been a while since I did a #TGIF post. It could be because of one of these many reasons; I lost that Friday mojo I once had, I got tired of the structures, I became lazy to give all that information, I couldn’t keep up with some sections (I have been reading one e-book for God knows how long) or time just escapes me and the next thing I know, it’s Friday night and No Post. I miss it all the same. I was cheesy, wishful, chatter-boxy, there was never a dull Friday or if it was (which I can bet you there were quite a couple), the post brightened it up.

KawiSnippets, Blogging, Life, Life Lessons, TGIF

Let me share with you my current favorite posts (5) on #KawiSnippets – reminds me of my 5 links. I was just checking out some past posts and if I could hi5 myself, I actually have. Months and years later, I’m still able to speak to self through these posts. Then I wonder, what I was going through as I wrote this, because it’s timeless. I think the one resting fact is that, life is a cycle and it repeats itself; the lessons, the challenges, the thoughts, the joys. And in most cases, there are many others going through the same things you are, just in different environments and set-ups.

  • Lessons and a bow: Just a series of lessons I learn along the way. Sometimes I get inspired by the things that happen around me and then, even more when I’m able to put them down into words and make some sense out of them.
  • The thin line between independence and dependence: When it comes to relationships between spouses, this is always a HOT topic. The women say, let the man be THE man and do his work (i.e. in short, finance the home). The men say, we also need the women chip in. Others say, let’s go Dutch. I did this post because I felt it’s a very thin line that it’s mostly influenced by our backgrounds. How do you balance so that you don’t lean too much on either side?
  • The Dilemma: Don’t we all go through this? As long as you have to make a decision about something, there’s always a dilemma on which side to lean on. Once you make that decision, something’s got to give. What do you do with that thing, let go perhaps?
  • Letting go of 2013, to let in 2014: It was about learning to celebrate the small victories. Sometimes we’re a little hard on ourselves, yet we achieve so much each day. We strive to see the finish line and miss to see the small strides it took to get there. The wins are in the small strides, not the finish line.
  • This blog reminds me of the power of the spoken, in this case, written word. I got the couch I really wanted. Remember the one I mentioned here. At the end of the day, I thank God for that ability to go for it. The blessing to be able to speak a blessing to one-self.

Quote of the Day

I once did a mock-poem. That was such a try, considering I think I have zero poetic ability in my veins.

Kenya, Peace, Terrorism, Security, Insecurity, Poetry

“When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.”

Happy Friday Lovelies. Lots of love, light and peace!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

 

 

 

Harsh Realities

If there’s one (actually two but intertwined) thing I have learnt to respect and appreciate is time and experience.  At one point, I was of the school of thought “why do I have to wait to get this? I want it now” and “why do people make a big deal out of experience? I mean, if I can do it why are you asking for years of experience.” And then I figured, that time gives you leeway, while experience gives you exposure. They reveal to you things that you thought you knew but you actually didn’t. And slowly you keep advancing yourself. That’s why those two, I believe, are the most important aspects of growth. Growth in whichever capacity. So;

  • When you read a job vacancy and they’re asking for 5-10 years’ experience, that request is valid. It shouldn’t demoralize you. It should instead make you more optimistic, that the struggle you’re going through now is worth it. That at one point, with a little patience in your grind, you will reap the benefits too.  Respect your seniors, because one day, you’ll get there and you’ll want your juniors to do the same.
  • If you see folks who have been married for a couple of years, and they are giving you pieces of advice, listen, for only they know better. It doesn’t mean you have to do as they say or be as they are, but why re-invent the wheel or go through the same rough path they trudged, while they have identified a smoother one?
  • You have a business and someone tells you, “give it time, it will pick up”. The business is viable and your service delivery is exceptional – I tell my mum this every day, you just need to give it time and once people know about your services (experience), they’ll be loyal, and you’ll be their point of reference. Businesses don’t flourish in a day, a month or a year, some legacy’s take years to build. One just needs to be patient and put in some extra effort while at it.
  • You’ll understand how a person with years of experience will always tramp someone with no years of experience despite them having superior skills or why you can’t build a brand/business/house in one day -> Trying to put it into perspective.

Life, Life Lessons, Experience, Time, Harsh Realities

I know right! Not what one wants to hear. It’s a harsh reality, but the earlier one starts to value the fundamentals of growth; time & experience, the more things will make sense. I know most things don’t. It’s a LIFE-TIME EXPERIENCE!

Happy Thursday Folks!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Earphone Moments Call For Some Ear-Time

You know how when you put earphones in your pocket, then when the time comes for you to remove them, they’re tangled into a bajillion knots, and you just wonder how that happened. It was just a pair of earphones that went in there and nothing else. Well, it could be the material they’re made of, but still, it’s bothersome. You have to spend some good time detangling them so that you’re able to comfortably use them.

Sometimes, we have that earphone-moments in life.  At one moment everything around you is okay and you’re reveling in it, then the next moment things are going berserk and you have no idea how you got to that point. It could be at work, at home, somewhere in between. You then have your moment of taking the “earphones” out of the “pocket” and detangling them back to normalcy.

In essence, all that’s needed is for someone to take the earphones out of the pocket and not necessarily detangle them. They could be choking in there for all we know. In life, sometimes all we need is someone to talk to. Someone to get you out of the “pocket”. It doesn’t have to be your family or friend, it could also be a stranger. They might not know what you’re going through but through a conversation, they could calm a nerve that was otherwise chocking you up (and you didn’t even know it was). They don’t have to sort out the problem, but at least they shed in some light for you.

Life, Life Lessons, Earphones, Time, Conversation, Talk-Time

 

When someone comes up to you, give them a minute or two, and share with them you have in mind or vice versa. What you have in mind could be an answer to something that’s been itching them in the wrong place ha ha ha okay, wrong move, but true, it could be what relieves them. I think God uses us to reach out to our own. You know when you pray and you are waiting for an answer(s), I don’t think they fall out of the heavens and happen. It’s through people that our miracles happen. It could be people you know, people close to you, or it could be a complete stranger. Don’t dismiss them, give them some ear-time and hear them out – let them minister to  you or be the one who reaches out to them and they give you some time for you to minister to them.

Happy Hump Day Lovelies!

Go For It. Even When It Seems Impossible.

“Sometimes we forget where we forget where we’ve come from, until someone reminds us”.

Ever been in a situation where someone tells you “if someone had told me this when I was your age, things would have been different?” My folks told me that a lot and for that reason, I always remember. It’s a pity statement, but it has so much impact. It says you have potential that no-one bothered to tap. Sometimes we need that drive, you know someone to tell you, “Go for it” or “You can do it”, simply because you can. It’s so easy to lose hope in yourself and in things around you when you’re faced by an obstacle.

The folks, they didn’t have it easy in their time and they made that very clear. There was no one to give them tips on how they should go about handling the different situations that faced them. Be it school, profession, dating, marriage, parenting … you name it. They always told me that they followed their instincts on whatever felt right and if it turned out wrong, you just work your way through it, alone. There was no one to tell them how to do what they did, there were barely any mentors or even people to motivate them, like we do now.

Tweet, Empower, Youth, Mentorship

The thing that amazes me most about them is that they never forget where they came from. They look back and see what they lacked and they want to make it different for the next generation. They tell us the stories, but they don’t dwell on them. They tell us so that we can be better than they were and do better than they did. They tell us that we have greater opportunities than they did and that we’re better off because we have them to guide us. Your folks have so much knowledge it’s ridiculous. If you say you don’t have a mentor, turn to your folks, your uncles, your aunties, your older friends. They might not be billionaires but they have a wealth of experience and knowledge that can help you become that billionaire that they didn’t become.

Why do you think they ensure that you go to good schools, that they check your report forms and performance in school and bash you when you’re not doing so well? That they want you to figure out what you want to be when you grow up early enough so that you can work towards it? Now it hits me that the question “what do you want to be when you grow up?” was not asked in vain. It comes in handy when we’re chasing our dreams. Dreams are built from a tender age. You might not be what you said you want to be, but at least it helped give you direction. I wanted to be a chef, then a doctor, look at me now, I’m a content girl.

Does that mean I haven’t gotten to where I wanted to be, I don’t think so. I cook some delish food and I’m still learning. I make home remedies and take care of anyone who’s unwell in my presence. But the fact that I had something I wanted to be, had me working hard even if not to be that, at least in the end of it, I found out what I was passionate about. My folks, they didn’t drill me into it. They guided me, and allowed me to be. But with guidance and constant check up’s on how I’m fairing in whatever I delve into. And for that, I really appreciate.

What made me actually think of this, is my baby sister and the tweet up there. She called and told me how school is just tough and draining, the exams, and how she’s scared of ever failing or not getting a first class honors because that would be letting down the folks. This made my heart sink a bit, because I was once in her shoes, same size, color, texture. Exactly the same.

School was tough. Heck, from primary school, secondary school, undergraduate, postgraduate and certifications. They were all so tough. I’m a last minute person (very bad trait) and I work best under pressure, so sometimes I would end up trans-nighting for exams, because failing wasn’t an option. Oh, I burnt that mid-night oil. School is just school, it never gets easy and you never get used to it. Life, life is also tough, the challenges are in excess. Sometimes I look back and the fact that I got through a certain stage, just makes me smile. Because I realize I’m actually stronger than I think I am and most times, more intelligent than I think I am.

School can make you under-rate yourself, life can make you under-value yourself. But if you encounter and engage the right people, people that empower you, they change how you perceive yourself and you become an over-achiever.

When you feel it’s so tough, because it was tough, school is not the end of the world. Many times, I did an exam that was so hard and I saw stars, but when the results came, I hadn’t done that bad, that made me feel better. Pressure is good, really good, because it give you a push, but don’t succumb to it. Don’t let pressure get to you, you get to it. This also reminds me of a time I was clueless in my programming classes, I just didn’t know how to code. But somehow I cracked it, but I was feeling like I just can’t do this anymore.

The folks, the ones who bash you when you feel like school is just crap, they were there, they just sat beside me as I did my project, asked what the system does because that’s all they could do to encourage me. That alone, gave me psyche to learn, to ask my friends for help, to do better. Let me not blow my trumpets but it went uphill. When work sucked and I just felt like I’ve had enough, the folks talked to me and told me of their experiences and that of their friends, and boy! Did I feel much better? People have gone through worse. Your case is just representative of a fraction. And they, those people they tell you about, those people that went rock-bottom, plus themselves too, they pulled through. You will pull through too.

So today, I just want to tell you, “Go for It, Even When It Seems Impossible. Simply because you can.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*