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Go For It. Even When It Seems Impossible.

“Sometimes we forget where we forget where we’ve come from, until someone reminds us”.

Ever been in a situation where someone tells you “if someone had told me this when I was your age, things would have been different?” My folks told me that a lot and for that reason, I always remember. It’s a pity statement, but it has so much impact. It says you have potential that no-one bothered to tap. Sometimes we need that drive, you know someone to tell you, “Go for it” or “You can do it”, simply because you can. It’s so easy to lose hope in yourself and in things around you when you’re faced by an obstacle.

The folks, they didn’t have it easy in their time and they made that very clear. There was no one to give them tips on how they should go about handling the different situations that faced them. Be it school, profession, dating, marriage, parenting … you name it. They always told me that they followed their instincts on whatever felt right and if it turned out wrong, you just work your way through it, alone. There was no one to tell them how to do what they did, there were barely any mentors or even people to motivate them, like we do now.

Tweet, Empower, Youth, Mentorship

The thing that amazes me most about them is that they never forget where they came from. They look back and see what they lacked and they want to make it different for the next generation. They tell us the stories, but they don’t dwell on them. They tell us so that we can be better than they were and do better than they did. They tell us that we have greater opportunities than they did and that we’re better off because we have them to guide us. Your folks have so much knowledge it’s ridiculous. If you say you don’t have a mentor, turn to your folks, your uncles, your aunties, your older friends. They might not be billionaires but they have a wealth of experience and knowledge that can help you become that billionaire that they didn’t become.

Why do you think they ensure that you go to good schools, that they check your report forms and performance in school and bash you when you’re not doing so well? That they want you to figure out what you want to be when you grow up early enough so that you can work towards it? Now it hits me that the question “what do you want to be when you grow up?” was not asked in vain. It comes in handy when we’re chasing our dreams. Dreams are built from a tender age. You might not be what you said you want to be, but at least it helped give you direction. I wanted to be a chef, then a doctor, look at me now, I’m a content girl.

Does that mean I haven’t gotten to where I wanted to be, I don’t think so. I cook some delish food and I’m still learning. I make home remedies and take care of anyone who’s unwell in my presence. But the fact that I had something I wanted to be, had me working hard even if not to be that, at least in the end of it, I found out what I was passionate about. My folks, they didn’t drill me into it. They guided me, and allowed me to be. But with guidance and constant check up’s on how I’m fairing in whatever I delve into. And for that, I really appreciate.

What made me actually think of this, is my baby sister and the tweet up there. She called and told me how school is just tough and draining, the exams, and how she’s scared of ever failing or not getting a first class honors because that would be letting down the folks. This made my heart sink a bit, because I was once in her shoes, same size, color, texture. Exactly the same.

School was tough. Heck, from primary school, secondary school, undergraduate, postgraduate and certifications. They were all so tough. I’m a last minute person (very bad trait) and I work best under pressure, so sometimes I would end up trans-nighting for exams, because failing wasn’t an option. Oh, I burnt that mid-night oil. School is just school, it never gets easy and you never get used to it. Life, life is also tough, the challenges are in excess. Sometimes I look back and the fact that I got through a certain stage, just makes me smile. Because I realize I’m actually stronger than I think I am and most times, more intelligent than I think I am.

School can make you under-rate yourself, life can make you under-value yourself. But if you encounter and engage the right people, people that empower you, they change how you perceive yourself and you become an over-achiever.

When you feel it’s so tough, because it was tough, school is not the end of the world. Many times, I did an exam that was so hard and I saw stars, but when the results came, I hadn’t done that bad, that made me feel better. Pressure is good, really good, because it give you a push, but don’t succumb to it. Don’t let pressure get to you, you get to it. This also reminds me of a time I was clueless in my programming classes, I just didn’t know how to code. But somehow I cracked it, but I was feeling like I just can’t do this anymore.

The folks, the ones who bash you when you feel like school is just crap, they were there, they just sat beside me as I did my project, asked what the system does because that’s all they could do to encourage me. That alone, gave me psyche to learn, to ask my friends for help, to do better. Let me not blow my trumpets but it went uphill. When work sucked and I just felt like I’ve had enough, the folks talked to me and told me of their experiences and that of their friends, and boy! Did I feel much better? People have gone through worse. Your case is just representative of a fraction. And they, those people they tell you about, those people that went rock-bottom, plus themselves too, they pulled through. You will pull through too.

So today, I just want to tell you, “Go for It, Even When It Seems Impossible. Simply because you can.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

 

What Do You Really Want?

I was talking to a friend yesterday and while we were at it, we had a meeting of beliefs. I tend to believe, you speak, write or think what you desire. Because first, God listens, second, the world, through its technicalities, conspires for you to achieve it. It’s not necessarily immediate, but it eventually does.

I think ever since I understood the power of the spoken word, I have been over utilizing it, it always works for me, eventually. Most of the things I have managed to achieve in my young and tender age forever young, big or small, was at one time self-confessed whether through a thought, a written or spoken word. For a person who’s very non-specific, I figured the importance to be specific after I was told this short joke. Could be a true story but it made so much sense. Every time someone asked me what I want I always went like “I don’t know, anything”. Now I know better.

Jack Prayed so hard everyday and one day God finally talked to him.

God: Yes Jack, what do you really want?
Jack: I want a job, a very big car and lots of girls to be all around me every day.
God: Is that all Jack?
Jack: Yes!
God: Okay Jack, your prayer has been answered.
Jack: Oh thank you … Thank you!
*** Now Jack is a BUS DRIVER in a GIRLS’ SCHOOL.***

We really put God in a funny position when we request for things but we’re not specific. Like what did Jack want to work as, what car did he want, did he want to own it, what kind of girls does he want? He receives far too many requests to try and figure this stuff out for you. More or less how us ladies make subtle hints to our boyfriends/husbands on what gifts we want for Christmas or Birthdays notice I didn’t put Valentines. More proof that God is a guy, but they just won’t get it of you don’t say it as is.

Sometimes we lose inspiration, we lose hope, we lose something to motivate us. And while at it look, we for something new, something different, something better than what we have. What we forget is that at one point, what we have right now, or where we are right now was as a result of us finding the answer to that deep desire.

The answer to that deep desire, is not in the new or different things, it’s actually in us. You’re the one with the ability to make today better than it was yesterday. The loses are a state of mind, and so are wins. When all seems bleak, inspire yourself, no one does it better than you. When things go haywire, think positive, think solutions, you’ll be surprised how things work out in the end. When you feel like all hope is lost, don’t agree to be poor, find your spark, ignite it. That fire, strive to keep it burning, that’ll be your new source of hope.

Wishing you nothing short of a lovely weekend, let me now go and make the best out of mine.

This will be my 1st post done via my phone *woop*. I’m trying to utilize technology. Excuse any typos.

believe

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Of Price Tags and Good Times

You know the “price” is such a poser. So much, that we give it some much undeserved attention. It makes us forget the essence of what it is we are putting a price on. How many times do you want to get someone a gift and the first thing you think of is “how much” price tag? How many times have you wanted to entertain some friends but you think “damn, that’s going to cost me” – price tag? Or you want to go have a good time and you’re like, “what’s the damage” – price tag?

Price, Price Tag

It’s crazy how it’s always about the price tag, while it’s not really supposed to be. I know we (I) don’t have money over-flowing in our accounts, some of us are under tight budgets, others even have no budget because, well, they’ve got no money. But is it really about the money? I think it’s not. Although money is definitely a means to the end. The end being your satisfaction, your having a good time. It’s about what it is you have inside you. You know that passion, that feeling that makes you want to just spread joy to others, regardless.

You don’t have enough money to buy a pricey gift? Then make one out of what you have. Worst case scenario, sacrifice that which you treasure. It doesn’t have to be something big, it could be that pen. True friends, they’ll appreciate. The price tag doesn’t have to be your barrier. Is it entertaining friends? Make what you can afford, be it a meal or drinks, if they don’t like it, it’s just one meal and one drink. True friends, they’ll appreciate – even if they’re meat eaters and you’ve just served veggies, they’ll appreciate. You want to have a good time? Have a good time. Even it means one bottle of beer for a night out. It gets tough, but  let’s toughen it out.

I’m not saying this just because. I just feel like it’s been about the price tag for far too long, even for me. We just need to learn how to live within our means and have a really good time, because, it’s not about the price tag, it’s just not about that money. Yes, it’s very important means to that end (hence why we work to earn it), but it shouldn’t be the determinant – of whether you’re going to have a good time or not. In case you were in that “price tag” hole, let’s jump out of it and let’s have some fun this coming year. I talk to myself too. As mentioned, you’ve made it to 2014, just to the mere fact that you’re alive and healthy. In addition to that, you’ve got people who love you and you’re blessed with a future to look forward to. A future that you can write your story, edit, maybe not delete but learn from the mistakes and rights. You have no reason not to be happy, be happy. Now it just feels right if I say, Amen! To good Karma my people.

Theme song of the year: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMxX-QOV9tI

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

It’s Just Material Stuff

I had a rather interesting week last week. Interesting in both a good and bad way. It taught me some tough lessons, which instead of breaking me, have made me rather stronger. I experienced the much told “Nairobi Experience”. The one about the pick pockets in public transport. Yes, they do exist. I was living in a bubble, thinking that would never happen to me, how now? That was a tell-tale to me. I mean how can someone just steal from you under your nose and you don’t realize? You feel so stupid, because when you look back, you see all the signs that you just let pass or all the things you did wrong. I couldn’t even sleep that day as I kept thinking of all the what if’s.

What happened you wonder? I took a matatu like I always do. Only on this fateful day, it was properly loaded with pick pockets. My innocent self went ahead to use my phone, I mean I was safe in the moving vehicle (note that I’d been warned of this behaviour so many times). When time came to pay my fare, I removed my wallet, got the money and paid, though the guy next to me was really looking into it. I was in my little happy-go-lucky bubble. I mean, life is beautiful, what is there not to be happy about? I put back my wallet in my rather “open” bag. It didn’t even cross my mind to make sure that it’s tucked in well. I go ahead with my business, but clearly it was our business.

Along the way there were funny signs where the dude from behind says he’s lost his sim/memory card and the good person I am, helps to search. All the while the guy next to me has rummaged my bag to get my wallet. Then when I’m about to alight, the guy in front of me, tells me to keep my phone safe because it might be stolen. And guess what I do, of course I put it back in my bag. Thinking, this people do care about my welfare. Not, because as I put my phone in the bag, this other dude was on the receiving end. Like they deserved my phone and wallet more than I did. I didn’t realize until I alighted. That shit *excuse my French* makes you disoriented. I couldn’t believe I’ve been played out like that. You feel like searching every corner and crevice for your stuff, you feel like those people should know how much you’ve worked and struggled for the little you have. That they should have some Mercy and at least return the essentials (you know, your ATM cards, ID, Medical Cards, Access Cards). For the phone I had accepted its fate (but next time insurance is my friend).

Then it dawns on you, these are thieves. The last person they care about, is you and your petty essentials. I kept telling the boyfriend to try call them. You know maybe they will pick up and tell me to pick my stuff up from somewhere. And he used my words on me, “that’s just material stuff.” If I’ve ever told you that, I know the pain of those words even better now. You think of the cost of your phone, wallet, ‘essentials’ and the materials bit, just doesn’t cut it. True to those words though, they’re just material things. They’re replaceable, some as soon as possible, others in the near future. As long as you’re healthy and alive, how you got them once, you’ll get them again. Even better. That was a set back in more than one away, but such a minor one. If you’ve been through the same, believe it’s a minor set back and you’ll strike back bigger and better.

That was just one of the lessons. Besides that, I also learnt that I need to be aware of my environment. Not everyone in this world is nice, not everyone is genuine and not everyone cares about you, tough love. So I need to in certain circumstances, if not all, put my safety first and always be careful and most of all trust my judgement, good or bad. After all, the judgement is mine. Such experiences should just toughen us. It was a sore and painful experience but such an eye opener too.

Material Things

While at it, I discovered that some friends have walked in your shoes. So they know what you’re going through or what you’re feeling. Somehow, they find ways to make you feel better about your situation because they’ve been through the same if not worse. And after sharing my story, I came to realize mine was not an isolated case. This has happened to so many of my friends. Sometimes you know all the rules to the games, but since you’re on the play-field any way, the thugs use the same old tricks on you (some which you were aware of, but you’re caught off-guard) and they win. That’s just a small win. Eventually, you have the big win because you can play better next time now that you’re more aware.

Have yourself an amazing week. When you’re about to have a bad one, just think of someone else who is in a worse state than you, and yet they can afford a smile. Then look deep within and dig out that smile from the hole it’s buried in. Blessings lovelies.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

A Little of Everything…

The other day, we went to pick my mum up from the airport. The anxiety, the joy within, was just in excess. I couldn’t wait to see her stroll out of the arrivals entrance. The boyfriend must’ve been tired of hearing, “I can’t wait to see mum”. I mean, we woke up at 1 in the AM to go see her arrive. My dad was in awe I think, he’d even called beforehand to confirm that I’ll be there or it was just excitement (read ‘cheap talk’). He would have bet there’s now way I’m waking up to go hang out in the cold. You’d think she was away for years, but she’d been away for just one month. Just one month and we were all thinking or rather feeling that she’d been away for too long. Wouldn’t want to imagine if she’d gone for any longer. My baby sister, who likes her space was feeling mum-sick, she would call me and tell me how she misses her. My dad who’s purported to be the “hardcore” was calling her up everyday and when he doesn’t, he texts to check up. I didn’t over do it, like the other two, but if I wasn’t talking about her, I was sending her some inbox messages, telling her how much I miss her. We wanted her to enjoy the trip and for my cousins, aunty and uncle to have a piece of her as well.

The whole experience was ridiculously amazing and an eye opener too. We all discovered how mum is important in our lives. And for each of us, it was different because we had our own reasons. But at the end of the day, it’s her presence that matters(ed) the most to all of us.

You know that saying, “you don’t know what you’ve got until you lose it”? Well, you don’t have to wait till you lose it. You can know the value of what you’ve got while you still have it. Strive to retain that knowledge of how much value that thing brings you and appreciate whatever it is while it’s still here.

ION, remember me hoping that I bag it, I did bag it *whoop whoop*! It’s a great opportunity in an entirely different sector. It’s more than exciting, but let’s keep it together. Who would’ve ever thought I would work in a bank? I swear, that thought had never ever crossed my mind, I mean, they wear suits everyday. To the extent that when the opportunity presented itself at first, I was sceptical about going for it, plus the thought that I had no banking experience whatsoever. Then the opportunity presented itself a 2nd time, people had faith me (more than I did in myself), and it made me think, if they do, why not? I gave it a thought, read it through it and saw that what they were describing was what I do and what I’d love to do. God sure has  a way of surprising us, when you least expect it. I think it’s his way of showing us, he runs this world. He can put you in a place you least expect, he can make you cross paths with people you never thought you would.

The hardest part in this new experience and change, is that I’ll have to completely change my wardrobe. I only wear suits for interviews (which come once in a blue moon), but now they’ll become a daily wear *cringe*. Monday through Friday, someone shoot me now. It’s exciting and scary at the same time. I’ll have to go shop, which is not one of my favorite pass time activities. Can you imagine, I really don’t like shopping . There, I said it! I only love shopping when it’s impulse or when I’m sad because then I’ll buy the most fancy but irrelevant things. But when I have to do it, with a purpose, it’s devastating. I don’t get what I want or I have search endlessly to get it. I need your prayers or better yet, your help in shopping or new hand me downs (size 8 going 10, the food is settling in)  LOL *wink*. For real, any takers?

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Steve Maraboli, Encouragement, Monday

One of those to take or talk you through the week as we go through our different situations, good or bad. May you have an easy breezy one. Happy Birthday to all November baby’s!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Outgrowing Them

I have become good friends with my tailor lately. Why, you ask? No, we don’t have much to talk about, unless it’s about how he’s going to adjust my clothes to fit me. The manufactures actually leave some allowance for that, I found out. It’s funny how I can’t see the weight I’ve gained or rather I’m ignoring it, but my clothes, well, they are just becoming tighter, you can’t beat that. It’s like trying to ignore a kid screaming to your ear as you try to sleep. It’s in the extra inch on my hips or thighs or chest or waist. I’m outgrowing them. I don’t want to accept that. I’m the kind that still wears clothes from 10 years ago, believe it or not, I don’t change much. But I am growing and I can’t stop my body from shaping itself. This also means a dent to my wallet because I find myself having to either adjust some clothes to fit or just buy some new ones.

Source

Source : This looks like me when I decide to fit clothes I haven’t worn in a long time. The disappointment.

Adjust, because that attachment with the old clothes for some reason comes on strongly when you realize you can’t wear them any more. While before, they would sit in the closet gathering dust . Some feel like vintage, and they are getting into fashion once again. My suit pants *wails*. I discovered that most of my suit trousers don’t fit (tight on certain areas), the coats fit perfectly but the bottoms, good Lord. More depressing when I think I have to get others while I have this ones (this is where my good tailor comes in). The needs becomes greater when you realize you need to use them for certain “official” occasions.

That’s just me and my clothes, but we outgrow so many things. Some of which we even don’t know ourselves. It could be material things, people, work, name it. It gets to a point where you cannot stay as you were. It’s like you’re transforming or being morphed into something and it’s either you adjust those things to fit into your life or just let go of them so that you can acquire new things that fit into your current state. Such is life.

Don’t struggle to fit in where you’re not fitting in, into clothes too. It’s not a must you fit into everything, even life won’t let you, that’s asking for a bit too much. When times comes for you to move to the next step or size, get with it, that’s what living is about. It’s about allowing yourself to grow, to become a better version of you, one that you are comfortable with at every stage. After all, it’s for your own comfort. And what’s life without comfort, lemons perhaps. Bitter as it gets. With comfort, it’s lemonade on the go or a shot of tequila with the said lemon and salt to loosen you up, much better. I kid, don’t drink, I kid again, one shot is good, just one!

Outgrowing

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

11 Things, Because 11th Month

Do me good as I will do you. I didn’t even notice that October has come to a close until when I was writing the date on the deposit slips. Oh bills. If all bills could just be dissolved so that we live a life free of bills, that would be absolute awesomeness. This day started with so much sunshine that I woke up in panic mode. I thought that I had overslept and I was late for work. Then I check my clock wondering what happened to the alarm, because I was sure I didn’t snooze and it’s voila, it’s 6:00am. I need thicker curtains for my room for sure. This can’t be life. Then again, I NEED a very serious need to learn how to wake up really early, otherwise how will I be C.E.O? From interviews, I see they all wake up at the wee hours of 4:00-5:00am.

Anyhow, today I was thinking of “what we think of ourselves”. Not ‘your CV’ kind, but the ‘what do you think others think of you’ kind. Most people probably think people think the most negative things about them, you know like “they’re stuck up, they’re boring, they’re impatient, they’re rude”. Very few times do you think that someone else thinks good things about you, something like, “(s)he’s kind, (s)he’s pretty, (s)he’s got good style, (s)he’s fun to hang around”. That’s why you’d go “oh really” in disbelief. Well, maybe those things you think they think of you are probably true, especially if you are like that. For some it’s intentional to be bad but I’m sure there’s someone you want to think the best of you.

Funny enough, people tend to also think good things about you, even Hitler had people who thought good things about him. Sometimes what gives us morale to just continue living and fulfilling our purpose here on earth is knowing that there’s someone who thinks good things about you.

Since you can’t force good compliments out of people, this lovely month, tell someone something good about them. What you like about them. In case someone tells you, you could tell me how it felt, because I bet you it does give a warm fuzzy feeling. Sharing (beautiful information) is caring not cheap talk *wink*

November

Thank God It’s Friday

It also looks like November (blast from the past) for me is a list month. So let me tell you a little something about me, something you would know or wouldn’t know if I didn’t tell. 11 things because 11th month.

  1. I am a constant, not very random or spontaneous. In the sense that, I try out stuff (while at it I am mildly spontaneous), then when I land on something I really like, I will continue doing it the same way over and over until I happen to find something else that excites me just as much or more. I’m not good at trying out different things when I already have a favorite.
  2. I blubber A LOT. When I am happy. I just go on, on and on. Then I go quiet when I’m sad. But I also go silent when my mind wanders, not necessarily because of sadness, maybe just to reboot and reload. I guess that’s normal right. But it confuses many.
  3. I hate sweet and sour. It’s either sweet or sour. I can’t stand both. My palette was not made to accommodate both.
  4. I believe the internet was the best-worst thing created by mankind. Then social media happened, and that was just it. It’s even more enjoyable when you know where to draw the line and know how thin that line is, because it can make or ruin you.
  5. I love colour, lots of it, but not on me because I’m kinda-sorta shy (though this might change, now that my hair is coloured). On things around me. Preferably, things I own, because if I don’t own it, then chances are that I’m ogling at it.
  6. I’m inspired by my baby sisters poetry (here). I think she has a gift, which she probably doesn’t know the value of, and I know it. Then again, no pressure. They do grow into it, it’s like a treasure map.
  7. I have the best parents. They’re special in their own big special way. They teach me (us) about life, sometimes without even knowing they are and they are always available – far or near, always.
  8. I share a birthday with my boyfriend. But what’s weird is that we’re completely different. Personality-wise. In a way that compliments the other. Even though at times before you figure it out it gets you to wanting to pull off your hair (oh of which I chopped), then love happens and you totally get each other. I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything, it’s refreshing.
  9. I love music because of the beats, then the words – which need to suit my mood. If I love it, I replay it until I feel it’s a bit too much. Then I forget about it, from the name, to the lyrics. That’s how I get my musical satisfaction. Sometimes, I just have my earphones on with no music, silence makes a good song too.
  10. Nothing beats a good set of friends. Those that are just a dial away, regardless. You know God knew the world would be a challenging place to live, then he gave us you to make it a little less challenging and more enjoyable.
  11. I started blogging in NOVEMBER 2009. 4 years ago. It was a ‘let me try out’ thing that turned out to be something I do every other week and totally enjoy every bit of it. Without a doubt (okay, once in a while I doubt myself, then I pick myself up … of course when someone says “she blogs”) because I’m not left with much of a choice.

Have an awesome Friday and may November do you some good too, because you definitely deserve it. Just for reading and getting to this point LOL.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

You Learn NOT Lose

“You win some, you lose some,” that’s the game of life as purported. To cushion the reason why you would lose in the first place. I mean you can’t always be winning or else it’ll get into you head. That’s how it comes off. Don’t we always celebrate, acknowledge and make merry when we make wins? You are almost untouchable, the world is yours to conquer. T-shirt ripping, chest beating, double fist pumping, if you could you would. Then when you lose, you want the earth to open up and swallow you whole. It’s a shame, it’s embarrassing, you are afraid of facing the world. You wonder what they’ll think of you, a loser that’s good for nothing perhaps. We think far and beyond what they are thinking of us and maybe you’re the last person they are thinking of. That’s how we’ve taken it to be. Wins are to be celebrated, loses are to be shamed. It happens to me too, though I feel it shouldn’t be that way.

Wins and loses are usually attributed to situations that have you placed under a microscope. In our different spheres of life, it’s like we are always sitting in an exam room. Not the typical exam room where you’ve been given time to prepare for it, material and hints of what you’ll be examined and on the d-day you’re given a question paper and answer sheet to pour out all what you’ve been reading. If you thought that was difficult, now imagine one you’re unprepared for. No material, no hints, just you and what you think you should do in that situation. These are situations you’re unaware of. Unaware of its essence or even when, where or how it will present itself.  Life does that to you, it gives you choices of which your decisions could either result into a win or lose. But when you lose, it gets you to learn what you should or shouldn’t have done in the first place. If you’re lucky, you get another chance to play it down again and now you can make a wise and calculated decision given the choices presented to you. It could be because if you don’t lose some, it would get into you head and you won’t want to learn some. It’s in the loses or failures that you get to learn. The wins are like a reward for your learning.

I had actually done this post a while ago, and it was just sitting in the drafts, you know just chilling. Thinking that there’s something that I could add on to it, but then, nothing really came to mind. It is just what it is.

It’s about winning and learning, NOT losing. The moment we feel like we’ve lost, is the moment that we stop living, we become too hopeless to salvage the situation.

Despite the circumstances we’re faced with especially those that make you feel like you’ve lost in one way or another; Some life-taking, others life-threatening; some feeling of helplessness and hopelessness and others of insignificance, whatever it is, learning from it is what sets you apart as a human being. It’s what gives life more meaning, because, the reality that is, is sometimes it does lose its meaning. But never give up. That’s why you’re a hero in your own story, and heroes, they never give up, regardless.

You Win Some, You Learn Some NOT Lose.

You Win Some, You Learn Some NOT Lose Some

On that note, my heartfelt condolences to all those who’s loved ones lost their lives in the cowardly and beastly Westgate attack. Quick recovery and healing to those who were directly afflicted and inflicted. It’s unthinkable and unbelievable because anyone could have been there instead of them, it could have been me or you. For those of us that live to tell the tale, let it be a story of winning and learning and not one of losing. Let’s not give the enemies an upper hand, because you’re braver than you believe and stronger than you seem. Keep up that Kenyan spirit. The oneness, the bravery and strength of our people, the positive messages all over, the selfless acts, because that there, that’s God working through us.

Have a blessed and safe week lovelies.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Chasing the Blues: Monday Musings

I’m just kicking it back and not saying what I’m really up to, but *waves* I’m still here. Ever had this feeling that you want to attach value to things. You want to see some tangible value from the things that you invest your time and mind in. Like I want to write a post and just when I’m thinking about its content, I ask myself, of what value will it be. And then I think maybe not, this is a strange blogging phase.

My ideas come mostly when I’m asleep, when I’m watching a good movie, when I’m busy concocting recipes for my simple delish meals, when I’m in a bus going home or when I’m busy doing housework. And just when I think I’ve hit the thought jack pot, I postpone putting it down and after a few minutes I can only remember bits and pieces of my though. Either that, which in most cases doesn’t help recover the full thought or it just evaporates, not to be thought until later. So I got a journal, to put down thoughts. Not lengthy, just enough to give me a hint. It sucks when great ideas slip away.

Thank God It's Friday

Monday Musing

WATCHING

As usual lots of movies and series,

Hit the Floor (Series), this one is definitely a must watch. Drama and dance entangled. It’s about cheer leaders and the players of a team called ‘The Devils’ how they rehearse, their lives. It kept me glued, almost cried when I finished Ssn 1 in disbelief. Can’t wait for Ssn 2.

Zero Hour (Series), about a strange breed of staunch Christians so to say who are looking for the origin of the cross and are using  clues to find it. The clues are in the form of clocks that were given to the 12 apostles. They create an interesting twist in between of kidnapping, family drama and all to make it intriguing.

Adore (movie), Complicated. These two women who grow up together and both bear children (boys), then once their children grow into men, they both fall in love with each others kids (see what I mean). It’s disgusting. Especially where they get their own families but they continue seeing each other mothers (i.e grandmothers). Ah weird.

Big Wedding (movie), It had amazing actors, that’s why I got it. When I watched it at first, I felt a bit wasted, then the 2nd time, I actually found it funny. It’s about this couple that’s getting married and the dude’s (who’s adopted) parents have to act as if they’re still together to please the real mum. But in the end it all falls apart because the father is dating another woman. Twisted but comical.

Graceland (series), Undercover FBI, they are young, interesting and smart. They pretend to be part of gangs to get the pedlars.

Viva Riva (movie), it was recommended as a classic. About the hoarding of fuel in DRC, the corruption that went on to make sure that the fuel was sold and a battle of the fuel hoards.

10 Rules for Sleeping around (movie), a couple that has 10 rules for having an open and healthy relationship. They never work, in the end someone catches a feeling.

World War Z (movie) – About the world getting attacked by some disease that turns people into some ghastly creatures or zombies and the secret agents are fighting them and trying to save the world. I was so tired I slept, judge me now. Will re-watch and give my verdict but from the first bit and the trailer, it kept me on toes wondering what will happen next.

Yet to watch: Peoples, Breaking the girls, any recommendations?

LOVING

The weather, isn’t it lovely? Clear blue skies, some traces of clouds, that’s the good life. Now if I was in some cruise … sun bathing, cocktails, cool waters, fantasies are real.

LISTENING TO

On replay is Emeli Sande, John Legend and Ed Sheeran.

READING

Half of a Yellow Sun – Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, I know I’m late to the party, but I’m here now. I’m just wondering why I hadn’t started earlier. It’s better than watching a Nigerian movie, since you’re making up the cast in your head the quality & effect is also definitely way better.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Half of a Yellow Sun

EATING

Quite an assortment of meals … a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips, now we know where all this is going *cringe*

Food, Chicken, Ugali, Greens, Home Fries, Rice

Some delish meals, either served in the office or cooked at home

LOOKING FORWARD TO

Some positive feedback and taking up diverse opportunities. Believing in myself more, that I am capable of doing great things without a doubt and no fear while at it. A push in the right direction.

SAVING FOR

I should remove this section, if I wrote the list you’d start a campaign for “Kenyans for Kawi”. There’s a wish list somewhere.

PLANNING FOR

Or rather hoping for a road trip with a couple of friends soon, they’re so much fun to hung out with. If it’s not all laughter, it’s all learning lessons. They might be young but with a wealth of knowledge and experience, it’s amazing.

THINKING OF

Keeping your word, where you say it and you do it. It’s just a matter of principle. I have a bad habit of forgetting to do what I have said I will do or just letting it pass, you know just because. But I’ve been working on reversing that and making it an obligation that I must do what I said I will do, despite the challenges. If I make a pledge or I RSVP. It goes a long way. You get more satisfaction knowing that you’ve kept your word than when you don’t and it keeps lingering. It also says quite a lot about you as a person and makes you learn when to say YES & NO.

Let this week be nothing short of blissful as we close in Monday and chase those blues away, to yellows!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

If You Want To Feel Rich

You know the interesting thing about life? I also don’t. Ha ha kidding, I do. It’s that at the end of the day it’s about your endless dreams and how you can make them happen. It’s about those people you care about and how you want to see them happy. It’s about you and how you can achieve your happiest state. You work to achieve something, something that will make you feel complete, an absolute of sorts. The other day someone asked what can’t money buy? That’s a difficult question seeing as some of us haven’t experienced extreme richness to know what exactly it can’t buy. But with the much I have, I can say those things I am pretty sure it wouldn’t buy me.

You know those things that whether you have money or not, you can still experience them. It’s not money that determines whether you can or cannot get them. Digress, I remember in the course of my first job, I was confident enough that I deserved a raise and off I walked to my ex-bosses office to request for one. With full justification as to why I deserved an increase, we chat away. He’s the kind that could talk you out of what you want and convince you otherwise. So to say the least, I was fully armed. His office, the battle field. Everyone knew that. By all means I deserved a pay rise, so I was going to fight for it. As we chat, he goes like, “Mercy, you know if I decided to start paying you a million every month today you would go crazy”. Ha ha, joke right and I say, “I would be happy with that. Maybe we can try.” Then being the smart man,  he of course tells me the story of how he started out and how he got to where he is.  You learn to manage the little that you have as it’s added in progression, not just pap! Otherwise you won’t get a hold of yourself. I see he was doing my parents a favour, parenting me at work.

Oh boy, I was just seeing my plea go down the drain, somehow disappearing in the horizon as he went on and on. The he goes, “I will add for you this *small amount* first then we see how you do, and you can come back *after this duration of time* for a review”. Not what I had initially asked for, but at least it was something to get me going then. This always gets me looking back and thinking how it is I survived with that money, somehow I did, comfortably. Now back to those things, those ones that make you feel rich even when you’re not money rich, those ones that money cannot buy;

Happy Relationships

With God, with your family, with your spouse. You can’t buy their love or affection towards you and vice versa. Their willingness to do things for you and with you when you need them to, when you don’t need them to or when you least expect them to. The respect that you hold for each other. It’s a world of competition out there, so having this people cheer lead for you and be your front runners. That at the end of the day, you have people who can be held accountable for you and you for them, this is a blessing, not a purchase.

Good Health

It’s by the Grace of God that you’re healthy. That you can do things that other people only wish they could or that you have features that others wish they had, even if just for a day. They may look simple and easy for us, but it’s a blessing that we shouldn’t take for granted. Walking, eating, talking, sleeping, pooping, thinking, hearing, seeing among other things. That you’re not sick and bed ridden. You could have the money to go to the best doctors in the world, but not necessarily get healed. So thank your almighty for good health and long life.

Time … A Really Good Time

Money can enable you to go to the most beautiful and tranquil of places and do things that you’ve only dreamt of. But chances are that you might not even have a good time while at it. It happens. You think this place could give you absolute happiness even if for a moment, then it doesn’t. It probably even stresses you when you think how much you’re spending and what you’re going back to or it could be the company, not withstanding the luxury provided. It gets you whining to no end.

It’s all about having a good time, a great experience, a genuine smile on your face and hearty laughter, the kind that stems from your tummy. Ain’t it? You can have a good time wherever you choose to go or be, not necessarily in the islands or desserts or five star hotels whose décor and furnishings are out of this world. If you can’t afford that right now, you can afford a walk in the park … it’s free. I know I’m pushing it *because I want to go to those islands, desserts and five start hotels*, but a really good time knows no place and no amounts of money. You make it, with what you have.

True friends

There’s the family that’s given to you by virtue of being born into this world, and then there are those you personally choose, your true friends. Money can’t buy you these ones and if it does, the ‘true’ in the ‘true friends’ fizzles out. The love, trust and commitment you accord this ones with and vice versa is miraculous.

The brain and mind

Oh your mind. That there is one powerful object, in case you were searching for super powers. Very powerful, I’m even thinking when people say it’s the heart ‘a bullet to the heart‘, I think they mean the mind. The heart just pumps blood and enables the brain to get blood and oxygen for you to remain sane. It’s the mind that thinks, hurts, feels, cooks things up, makes assumptions, loves and so on. The mind leads you to believing what you want to believe and helps you make your choices, good or bad, whether you have money or not. It’s the source of great ideas and innovations that eventually lead you to making that money.

Money can’t buy you brains, but it can help you make up your mind, when you have them. So the brains came before the money, unless you’re a trust fund baby, lucky bustards … lol

rich

There’s no better way to look at it. This will give you so much peace especially in your mind and help you put some things into perspective. Sometimes we get so drained trying to get rich, that we die trying. Because we see riches as just having money and lots of it, but riches do come in other forms too. What are some of those things you have that money cannot buy?

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*