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Kawiria Writes – Let’s Dream

This season we’re talking dreams, it’s all about chasing your dreams. This got me wondering what my dream is. This is some serious *excuse my French but…* shit. I don’t know what my Big *Everest* Dream is. Or rather I can’t say it out loud to anyone, which simply means, I don’t know. I have small goals, you know the 3 year, 5 year, 10 year plans – that cater for my lifestyle – career, family and status things. I know where I want to be and at what point but what’s that thing that everything I do, think and say, guide me to?

On giving it a little thought, I think it has something to do with writing or better yet blogging. I love it and enjoy it while at it. My mind wanders, and then settles. Writing takes me to some place, my little piece of nirvana, as I’d like to call it. It’s what I’d like to be identified with. Kawiria writes. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to write a book. I am pathetic at sticking to a story line that’s longer than blog post, unless of course I have a blogook – A book that will be a collection of all my “to go” posts. But honestly, my unpackaged dream is to inspire through my life lessons, or life lessons learnt through others and put them into perspective. I may not be the most exposed or experienced person on earth, but I believe that there’s a reason for my existence don’t we all.

Blogging, Dream, #ChaseYourDream

Now what I need to do is package that dream into something that’s appealing and that I can say and make some sense out of. Something SMART – Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time Bound. Right now it’s very vague. So Kawiria writes, writes what? Let’s work on it, that will be my personal assignment in April. To figure out my Big “Everest” Dream. Maybe I’ll be on a TED Talk telling you about my journey to realizing my dream. A girl can dream, so let’s dream #ChaseYourDream. Have you figured yours out yet?

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

This Year…

There’s some internal inexplicable excitement that comes with publishing a new post on a New Month, better yet a New Year. Ask any blogger. However, sometimes trying to figure out what to write about can be brutally taxing or you can even know what you want to write about but you’re unable to put it into context. Problems. Makes me think of more money, more problems. In this case, more ideas, more problems.

I had an amazing “jumping of the year” time. We actually didn’t have a solid plan so to say, because we were both working on the eve. The least we knew is that if all else fails, we have each other to entertain. But nothing failed. We started with going for dinner and as we made our orders, our friends coincidentally were also coming to have dinner at the same place. The more the merrier, we ate, chatted, laughed, damn! The food at Peppers is annoyingly delicious and overly satisfying. Then after that, it was to dance the night away and have a good time. The Kenyans who weren’t at the Coast or Naivasha, were at K1. It was amaze-balls. Good music, good people, lots of dancing (those who know me, know that I barely sit when at the club). For me, it was the perfect end to the year and start of another. Thanking God for the good time and asking him to bless 2014.

The following day, we got to spend it with my folks and the baby sister. I had really missed them because they had gone upcountry for the Christmas holiday without me (due to work). Nothing beats catching up with them, that feeling, that feeling is contentful, or if there’s no word like that, satisfying on the extreme. Just seeing them happy, makes my heart glow. Anyhow, as I was doing my random internet rounds, look what I stumbled upon. A fun way of setting goals for the year, quite plain and simple. At least it doesn’t have you racking your brains.

A bad habit I’m going to break: Snoozing – I get lazy to wake up early even when I’ve run out of sleep. I’d rather just close my eyes and imagine myself asleep.

A new skill I’d like to learn: Bake. I’d love to bake those delish cupcakes and spongy cakes. I really would.

A person I hope to be more like: Let me do me. I still have so much potential to be a better me. I haven’t played my best version yet.

A good deed I’m going to do: Give back to my parents. Not pay back, just give back, I can never pay back. It’s immeasurable . The much they’ve done for me, they will always more than deserve it.

A place I’d like to visit: South Africa – Table Mountains and Sun City. I got there but I did a half-baked trip. I didn’t manage to go to all the beautiful places. Closer home – Turtle Bay at Watamu.

A book I’d like to read: Any book written by Richard Branson. Perhaps I could start with “Screw It – Let’s Do it”. I feel mature enough to read his books now. Did anyone else feel like that? Like Branson was coming to hard and you were not ready? I did, but now I want to go for it and I need some motivation.

A letter I’m going to write: To the mister. I will, sometime. I haven’t done that yet so it’ll be a good first. Plus, with all these technology, there’s something about hand written stuff. I’m always curious about people’s handwriting’s.

A new food I’d like to try: I have never done sea food. I secretly would like to try it, though I cringe at the thought of it. How do guys feed those slimy things? “Molluscs (octopus and shellfish), crustaceans (shrimp and lobster), echinoderms (sea cucumber and sea urchins)” -> Eek! They remind me of my high-school biology, those classifications and terms make them sound inedible.

I’m going to do better at: Keeping my word. I say much (to myself and to others), I’d like to do just as much. Even those things that I say and I’m not able to do for one reason or another, I’d still want to have it in my to-do list and strive towards keeping my word.

You could also try it out and share. Feels like an easier and more fun way to almost summarize things that occupy your mind. List to this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCaNfQry8GU. Have a lovely day and I wish you the best.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Letting Go Of 2013, To Let In 2014

I’m the kind that forgets easily. It’s good to know thyself. I forget my milestones, the thing that made me extremely happy for a moment, then I moved on with life. Its joys and struggles all together. I guess having been given 2013 to live life, maybe I didn’t do it to fullest because many times I’ve held it down because of well, maybe I thought I should’ve planned it, budgeted it, I had work the following day or now that the cops introduced AlcoBlow (a device that checks your alcohol level and if you’re caught, be ready to part with 100k, such a party popper but almost good because no drunk driving).

Generally, 2013 has been good to me, no complaints whatsoever. Anything that went wrong was a lesson learnt or just to show me that “hey Kawi, this is the world we’re in, it’s got its obstacles so don’t get too comfortable”. There were thorns, but at least they didn’t poke me too hard. Just a few scratches on the surface that taught me how to handle the rose better and in a more gentle way. At least the scars faded.

2013 was my rose

Thank God It’s Friday

A walk through 2013:

  • What a better birthday-mate to have than the boyfriend? Makes everything so much easier, yet so harder because you have to make plans while he’s making plans, buy a gift while he’s buying a gift. The 1st was great, at least we discussed what we wanted to do. Can’t wait for the next one, because no telling. The first we were still getting to know each other.
  • Graduated from Graduate School – Completing that thesis made me feel a lil’ bad ass. It was so frigging involving. I got so stressed sometimes to the point of tears, lecturers can really frustrate a students. Something straight-forward can be so twisted.
  • Had mum finally travel to the States to visit my cousins. She had spoken about it for far too long and it was about time it happened. Really glad it did and she got to see her nieces and nephews. Boy, do we miss them.
  • Saw my dad start and complete building his (our) house upcountry. It’s so beautiful. It was his untold dream, he didn’t tell, but we knew that’s what he really wanted. Now we have a place to go  when we want to go out-of-town and have some R & R. His success, our success and vice versa.
  • Got a new job at the bank, totally unexpected. A great opportunity, with some really cool and amazing colleagues, thank God. That new girl feeling was so short-lived, now it’s like I’m at home. Also made some good friends from my previous work place. It always feels like you’re leaving one relationship and jumping into the next one when you move jobs. It’s an “ouch” feeling, but one’s got to grow. At least for the friends you made, they’ll always be there.
  • Took the boyfriend home to officially meet the folks. Of course he’s met them a couple of times before but there’s something about them knowing what you two are really up to. I found that really admirable and respectful.
  • Spent the 1st Christmas without my family. Felt a little (that’s being modest, a lot) out of touch, damn! But works got be done. The boyfriends family made some really good family time too.
  • I have some really awesome friends. You know those who make you so random. They make you laugh when you feel like cringing, that make you go dancing when you thought you’d be at home asleep. They are for keeps!
  • I had an incident, where I had my essentials stolen (wallet and phone). A bullet through the heart, those are the two material things you feel like you can’t live without. Those thugs got me a good one, but none of that carelessness again.
  • I cut my hair short and I don’t look hideous – thank God. It’s something completely different, no one would do something that extreme. It showed me that I don’t have to be attached to things such as hair, it grows back anyway.

In 2014, I want just basically want to be a better person, better than I have ever been. I want to let go of the rose, because I want a flower garden. I think I’m now ready to handle couple of roses and other flowers. I want to be able to achieve most of the things I have been saying I want to do and have in 2013. Better yet, I spoke a lot in 2013, in 2014, I want to make it happen. What do you want for yours?

In case I am not able to do another post before next year, because I’ll be having so much fun jumping years, may you have a blessed and prosperous 2014. Lets make it happen together #CozWeCan’tStop (Miley Cyrus clearly featured heavily in 2013).

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

A Little of Everything…

The other day, we went to pick my mum up from the airport. The anxiety, the joy within, was just in excess. I couldn’t wait to see her stroll out of the arrivals entrance. The boyfriend must’ve been tired of hearing, “I can’t wait to see mum”. I mean, we woke up at 1 in the AM to go see her arrive. My dad was in awe I think, he’d even called beforehand to confirm that I’ll be there or it was just excitement (read ‘cheap talk’). He would have bet there’s now way I’m waking up to go hang out in the cold. You’d think she was away for years, but she’d been away for just one month. Just one month and we were all thinking or rather feeling that she’d been away for too long. Wouldn’t want to imagine if she’d gone for any longer. My baby sister, who likes her space was feeling mum-sick, she would call me and tell me how she misses her. My dad who’s purported to be the “hardcore” was calling her up everyday and when he doesn’t, he texts to check up. I didn’t over do it, like the other two, but if I wasn’t talking about her, I was sending her some inbox messages, telling her how much I miss her. We wanted her to enjoy the trip and for my cousins, aunty and uncle to have a piece of her as well.

The whole experience was ridiculously amazing and an eye opener too. We all discovered how mum is important in our lives. And for each of us, it was different because we had our own reasons. But at the end of the day, it’s her presence that matters(ed) the most to all of us.

You know that saying, “you don’t know what you’ve got until you lose it”? Well, you don’t have to wait till you lose it. You can know the value of what you’ve got while you still have it. Strive to retain that knowledge of how much value that thing brings you and appreciate whatever it is while it’s still here.

ION, remember me hoping that I bag it, I did bag it *whoop whoop*! It’s a great opportunity in an entirely different sector. It’s more than exciting, but let’s keep it together. Who would’ve ever thought I would work in a bank? I swear, that thought had never ever crossed my mind, I mean, they wear suits everyday. To the extent that when the opportunity presented itself at first, I was sceptical about going for it, plus the thought that I had no banking experience whatsoever. Then the opportunity presented itself a 2nd time, people had faith me (more than I did in myself), and it made me think, if they do, why not? I gave it a thought, read it through it and saw that what they were describing was what I do and what I’d love to do. God sure has  a way of surprising us, when you least expect it. I think it’s his way of showing us, he runs this world. He can put you in a place you least expect, he can make you cross paths with people you never thought you would.

The hardest part in this new experience and change, is that I’ll have to completely change my wardrobe. I only wear suits for interviews (which come once in a blue moon), but now they’ll become a daily wear *cringe*. Monday through Friday, someone shoot me now. It’s exciting and scary at the same time. I’ll have to go shop, which is not one of my favorite pass time activities. Can you imagine, I really don’t like shopping . There, I said it! I only love shopping when it’s impulse or when I’m sad because then I’ll buy the most fancy but irrelevant things. But when I have to do it, with a purpose, it’s devastating. I don’t get what I want or I have search endlessly to get it. I need your prayers or better yet, your help in shopping or new hand me downs (size 8 going 10, the food is settling in)  LOL *wink*. For real, any takers?

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Steve Maraboli, Encouragement, Monday

One of those to take or talk you through the week as we go through our different situations, good or bad. May you have an easy breezy one. Happy Birthday to all November baby’s!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Something Different

I chopped my hair. All of it. Ok, not the baldy-like chop, but more than 3/4 of it went down. I had been thinking about it for the longest time. This is me when I want something, I talk about it, like really talk about it. I talk about it to anyone who’s willing to hear. I create scenarios, see the pros and cons, get opinions (not that I take all of them in, but I listen) and all that comes with talking about it. It kind of helps me in making my decisions (good or bad, but I believe most are good). You know someone might know something I don’t, and I’m there plunging in to the same hole that they’re stuck in. Well, shows I’m not quite the risk taker, I try to mitigate them as much as I can, then take it up – different strokes for different folks. While at it,  I also talk about it to those who are close to me, to sell the idea even if it comes out vaguely. Then once I feel like it’s sold even without their knowledge, boom! Decision made – I do it. It’s good to know thy self.

black hair, chopped hair

Chop…chop…chop…because what’s a selfie-collage without a duck face.

Anyhow, with a different look, comes different questions. The first thing my hair-dresser asked me when I told him I’m booking an appointment for us to deal with my hair is, “have you been dumped” and “are you going through something bad”. Not knowing, that’s what everyone else will ask or imagine. I feel like I have to defend my hair chop. While the only reason I did it is *drum rolls* so that I can stand under the shower and have water run through my hair – true story. Plus I mean, I get to reduce on the ridiculous amounts of money and time I spent in the salon. It’s such a relief, you’re allowed to envy me.

Of course this whole process got me thinking about what the big deal in hair is. Now I can say, if only you asked me my opinion of hair a few months days actually back. It’s just hair. You cut it, then it grows, thank God. That’s a great gift by the way. The value or fear we put in our hair lengths is amusing. I was cringing at the thought of how I’d look in chopped hair. I was even saying if it backfires, my plaiting lady should be on stand-by then she could braid me long enough to conceal this look. I searched for my head shape and how people look when they have short hair I love my forehead. LOL. They all looked lovely, I think the thought of wanting my hair chopped had blinded me by then. Even on the streets, I was already seeing so many women with short hair do looking lovely, my mum topping it up.

Well, I feel good, really good. At least it felt good standing under the shower head and my hair touching water without me wincing. For those who know me, this is BIG, such a BIG and strange change. No one would have ever imagined me in short dyed hair, me too. It’s good to surprise yourself and others (waiting to see my folks reactions, my sisters was priceless, my boyfriend, he had to come to terms with in a very smart and loving way) once in a while. Now that the thought (which was becoming more of a burden and I was tired of carrying it around) has been executed and it doesn’t look bad, at least in my books. I can continue thinking and talking of other strange and unbelievable things I want to do, then they happen.

black hair, chopped hair

Rocking it short and natural!

PS: A tick off my unwritten bucket list.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

The Fake Hiatus

Because technically it looks like I was in one but I really wasn’t. I was just a little lazy coupled with a series of blank moments. Oh boy, then I remember there’s blogging in my life, which happens almost all the time, but then I open a blank page and run out things to write or worse think I have lots to share only to start out and go, “nah, maybe I shouldn’t.” The title should have been a day in a bloggers life. We have so much to say, but then we have moments where you question yourself and what you are about to say. You start feeling like every-time you share something you’re exposing yourself.

Does it ever get to a time you just don’t feel like saying anything, you just want to go sit at the corner and see what’s going on around you and probably see if anyone will take notice? I remember it used to happen to me every once in a while when I was growing up maybe it still does just that I haven’t reviewed myself of late. I was the talkative one, but then it would reach a point I would want to take some time out, and consciously or subconsciously I would just retreat. It’s like I’m there but not really there, you know just be invisible for a moment. Maybe to see if there’s someone who cares enough to check up on me or give me stories as well. Such a tease, then of course chances are that no one really did and I get over my “fake hiatus” or “invisible” moment and  go back to my normal chatty self.

In this case, well, I was going through a phase and now I am back with a BANG! July was one hell-of-a cold month and it looks like it’s rubbing off on August already. August needs to shake that off, because my wardrobe and body can’t take it any more, I want the sun. Not the scorching kind though, just enough to keep me warm during the day and allow me not to over-layer clothes. Which is interesting because we human beings have our needs changing more often than baby diapers. One time we want the sun, then when it’s smack right in the middle of your forehead hot enough to fry an egg sunny side up, you want it to rain and when it rains cats and dogs with puddles all over, we want the cold, just the cold and now it’s cold, good grief, I want the sun.

It’s just like life. When you’re presented with one situation, you forget how the other one you were in used to be. And when the one you’re in doesn’t appeal to you as you anticipate(ed) it to, you want to get back to where you were before because you think it was better than what you’re experiencing now. In essence, you were probably looking forward to the situation you’re in just as eagerly. Life is  such a twist. With that, I think the reason God made seasons, is so that we learn to live with each of them.

Learn to persevere through the scorching sun and thunderstorms as well as be content when the suns comes out during the thunderstorm and the rain pops when the sun is scorching.

Other than the cold, I actually managed to try out a few things that I haven’t either done in a long time or just never done before this July, so it wasn’t boring either. At the end of the month when I look back, there’s a lot to smile about more than there is to frown about. Actually, I wouldn’t say there’s anything there is to frown about. God has been good to me, to us, I am more than grateful. Here goes;

Danielle Steel, Books, Good Reads

Gifted book mark by the parents I think during my very 1st graduation…I’ve graduated that many times. Love the message #TreasuredGifts

 A friend recommended the #3books30days challenge and I decided to take it on, easy *read difficult, very* as it sounds. I have done 2 books so far; Brida – Paulo Coelho and Danielle Steel – Big Girl, one more to go,  Lauren Weisberger - Devil Wears Prada ( really  looking forward to reading this one). I had kind of shelved my book (novel) reading because of school and the exhaustion it comes with but it’s like I am now getting my reading mojo back, slow but coming on.

Friends, Friendships, Hosting

The scarf is courtesy of FloEssentials (Facebook). Scarves are her thing, she ties them so effortlessly it’s amazing, while I struggled my way around with it.

Of friends discovered through other friends and turning out to be ah-mah-zing. You know those lose introductions that happen because the person I hang out with also used to hang out with her. Then a few years after, we somehow keep in touch and we decide you know what, maybe we should just link up and catch up. The world just leads you to the people who are meant to be close to you “the touch effect” and we decide to hang out and ta-daaaaa *if you’ve watched Crood you should relate* we’re just insync. They (my friend and the hubby) finally got us to do our first hosting, we feared at first (you think of all the things you don’t have, like serving dishes et al, you know the bachelor-bachelorette lifestyle) and they were the most comfortable and entertaining guests we’ve ever had *actually, the first*, now they don’t feel like guests any more. We ate, drunk, played scrabbled, poker and chatted the night away. They are officially our favorite couple friends, you know you’ve gotta have those. Grateful they found their way into our lives, or vise versa.

Nail Polish, Sunset

You see both rarely, that’s the relation. LOL. There could be no better way to describe me getting my nail polish groove on, but I did. I find it such work, you know the application process, the fanning of your hands for it to dry, the holding things delicately to avoid the much dreaded smudge. Oh but it definitely looks good on me as I type on my key board. I could literally type gibberish just to have a glance at my peach painted nails. I think that’s my motivation for now, let’s hope it lasts long enough to have me purchase a different color.

As for the sunset, I went to visit my folks on the weekend and on my walk I was engulfed by the beautiful view of the sunset. It even looked more beautiful when seeing it through that singled out tree. Picture perfect. If I had a Canon or Nikon camera, trust me this pic would have made it to Mutua Matheka’s wall paper Monday, but I didn’t.

So much more happened of course, but these were the ones I was able to capture, or do you want a novel? Nah. How was your July? Hoping it was great and you would have a thing or more to say about it. The best thing about today (very convenient that it’s 1st August), is that you know something you didn’t know yesterday. Better yet, is you are or will be able to do something you didn’t do yesterday or ever before. That’s the beauty of life, everyday gives you a chance to play it out a little or to a great extent differently from how you did it before. It’s very forgiving in that sense, it holds no grudges, only you do. Have yourself a blessed August.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Unwelcome Questions

It’s crazy how the world rotates around us, but we barely notice. Not the scientific or geographic kind of rotate, but the fact that it’s all about us, the people that inhabit this rather round planet earth. Then it points down to each and every individual. Each person is their own person. We all have a purpose, that thing that we are meant to work out or contribute towards here on earth. It doesn’t matter who you are, what you do, or you want to be or want to have, there’s that inherent reason you are here.

We try to look for our relevance in every place, be it at home, school, work, among our friends. You want to be needed, to be accommodated and to be relevant. The big problems come in while we try to have all this figured out. It’s easy for some, or so it seems, but extremely difficult for others. Others even never find their purpose in life. Others don’t even know themselves. Ever gone to a place and the questions you’re asked are in the lines of:

Who are you?  What do you do? What do you want?

Questions

Aren’t these the most unwelcome questions. They leave you wondering what answer you should give. Assuming that you have an answer, because most people stare blankly wondering whether to begin with when I was born or when you started schooling or your experience, you wonder whether it will be satisfactory to the recipient  Does it do you justice and represent you for who you really are. With those 3 questions, someone narrows down to what your entire life is about. Based on what you say, they could put you off or want to be associated with you. Ever wondered why these questions always feature in the critical area of “basic information”, whether it’s in interviews, social media bio’s and so on. It’s like that’s the basic information about yourself you should have. To the very least you should know who you are.

Funny thing is that life situation can lead you to a path that makes it difficult to describe who you are, what you do and what you want. Maybe because you’re not confident enough about your abilities. Or whatever you do is not really defined so you can pin point it or you just can’t figure out what you want, because there so much. Most of what we want is not necessary actually, if you think about it. Like I want a chopper to beat traffic, but do I really need it? Of what value will it add to my life? Sometimes when you answer this questions, you feel like the answers you have given don’t give you justice. Like when someone sees a picture of you, then when they eventually meet you they tell you, “you look much better in person, the pictures don’t do you justice.”

You wish that the people got to know you first before judging you by what you say about yourself. Truth be told, most of us don’t do ourself justice when telling others about ourselves. Maybe that’s why we lose out on good jobs, great opportunities and so on. Unfortunately, the world ain’t patient or that kind to you, so one has to figure how to get these “unwelcome questions” right. I think the trick to answering them is loving YOUrself, loving what YOU do (it doesn’t have to be what you are at work, it could even be what you enjoy doing or what you’re really good at). For instance just because you are a sales man and you don’t like what you do, that doesn’t define you. You define yourself. You could be a sales man who writes really well or who loves public speaking. How do you go about saying who you are when you have varied statuses? Go for what fulfils your heart and own it. You get better at it with time. It leads you to knowing what you want and then you chase it. When you get it, you will be able to even say who you are and what you do much better. You can even write a biography of yourself *wink*. I’m pretty sure Steve Jobs didn’t find himself in a day, it took time, to make him the refined person he was, for him to find his niche and his purpose. It’s like the food chain (remember primary school science class), one stage feeds the other stage. It’s a cycle.

At the end of the day, it’s about doing some really good work with what you’ve got. Ain’t it? And sometimes, all you’ve got is YOU! So how about YOU love what YOU are involved in because the world rotates around YOU!

what you do

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

It Gets Better…

Whoop whoop! I moved, I unpacked, I settled and I love it!

moving

LOL. I couldn’t do it silently. That’s for Ninja’s!

So much for having those major cringes and unfounded fears that come with change. You know that uneasy feeling in your tum tum that makes you wonder, what will happen, how will I do it, will I manage, what if I don’t like it???? Well, I rebuked all those feelings. I have done this two times now, moving houses. I gave my notice and my former landlord was more than encouraging (God bless them), I think I was looking for signs from everywhere. Like before I told them I want to move out, I did quite some pacing at their door step before knocking the door. I was telling myself if they react negatively, that’s a sign. Then of course they didn’t. Ha ha ha on my face.

The one thing they (my landlord and his wife) told me that got me feeling all melty on the insides was, “your landlord on the other side will definitely have a good tenant. We’ve enjoyed having you here.” Someone say humbling. I’m not the best there is, but I try to live well with those around me and also leave them well when the time comes. I believe in not burning bridges. There’s a reason why you meet people and interact with them in various ways. One day you will need them, not now, not tomorrow but someday, when you least expect it. I have seen my parents meet friends whom they were with in their youth. That’s like 20+ years ago. They meet in the streets, in offices, in the kids schools, in weddings or in family meetings. This world is big in size but small in its connections. That 6 degrees of separation vibe gets more real.

So it finally happened. Though while at it, I was also looking for assurance from people. Why we do this when we want to make a decisions always beats me. If only we could make a decision, believe in it and abide by it.  So I kept telling people I’m moving, then when they ask me where, to what and why? I’m like here and to this. Funny because I had thought of all these things ( distance, security, convenience to amenities, traffic, water e.t.c. ) as I was looking for a place. The reason I chose that place is because I could almost justify the place will meet my current needs and at the same time cover the things mentioned. But people have opinions, we all do. So they’ll give you opinions but in the end you have to make your own choice. Because as people give you opinions, no one is walking in your shoes.

You are the one who knows the comfort or discomfort of your shoes. Whether it’s too tight, or too loose, too high or too flat. Or just the right fit for you. Then you decide whether to continue suffering in its discomfort, get another, fix it. Choice is always yours.

The best thing about this moving experience was the support I got. I have never gotten this much support before. The first time I moved, it was just me and my dad. The second time, I was more or less alone, until I bumped into a friend who offered a hand shortly (God always has your back). The third time was the best of all times. I was with the boyfriend (aka knight in shining armor), a girlfriend E (the girl every girl needs to have), baby sister C (the little distraction we all need) and mummy dearest (super momma). They made it not feel so new and foreign. There was lots of food (thanks to the mother, bless her) and laughter (the 3 other culprits who crack each other up) as we unpacked and cleaned up. Oh yeah, got hand me down curtains to keep me going till I get mine. I have windows, many windows *excitement*. I love this new experience, different from the previous one, which was different from the 1st one. Let me revel in it and make it homely!

Housewarming? It’s already warm thanks to the 3 lovely helpers. But for once I can have a couple of visitors at the same time. LOL. I just need more plates, cutlery, sitting space and so on. I had 4 actually 3 of each before. That needs to change soon. I can hold a parrrrty! But we don’t stop here, cheers to bigger and better when the time’s right!

New Experience

How about you have yourself a whimsy Wednesday and remember that positive thoughts breed positive results, that’s the secret. If you don’t know how to be positive (it can be quite the uphill task especially when things don’t seem to be looking up or going your way). You can try this out ↓ it milks the positive out of you!

New Advice

Signing Off ~~~*Kawi*

Something. About. Me.

LOL. Strange way to start the post, I know. But honestly, it’s hilarious how ones life can change in a couple of days, months, years. It just depends when you’re struck by whatever it is that will create that change. Why I was laughing, because I was reading a previous post that made me cringe, then shake my head in almost disbelief. Like “I really said that, no I didn’t”, “how did I even think that”. If I was to write that all over again, the story has completely changed. You know the 360kind of change. It would qualify for a face-palm moment.

Then again, it shows that I have really grown. The fact that I can read something I wrote a few years back and it makes me wonder what I was thinking when I was writing it. It’s amazing when something you did a while back gives you that feeling. That feeling of wow, I have come from far, to bring it closer home, yaani nimetoka mbali. I think of my first graduation, first job, my first house, my first relationship, my first blog post, the constant advisory lectures from the parents (he he they were of course almost one-sided, mostly don’t do this, don’t go there e.t.c) and these are the things that made up my foundation. They are what made me even know what direction to and not to take in life. At that particular time, it was all no big deal. It was just living life and doing what I had to do. Then as life went on, I moved into another job, I moved houses, I started dating someone else, wrote more posts. The parental lectures graduated to discussions (it’s two-sided, I give them my opinions, they give me theirs then I weigh them and make a choice). I’ve grown, still am. Little growing to big. It’s amazing.

That’s why I laughed when I read these posts. That one just covers the relationship perspective, there’s this one when I firstmoved out of home, then another when I graduated from my undergraduate and my first post on here. It takes me back, back to where I started out. I started out from down there, from knowing almost nothing about the world. I was like a cub let loose. For those of you who watch Nat Geo, you know how bad it is out there in the wild. You’re prey. Many await to feast on you, lead you in the wrong direction, give you false promises and so on. You are in charge of yourself. You make your own decision, right or wrong. No one is responsible for that but you. It’s crazy in a beautiful way.

To fend for myself, to face the world without the protection of the parents. That’s almost a lie though, because they are on my speed dial. I always update them on things, both good and bad. I always want their blessings in the things that I do or plan to do. Then there’s my boyfriend, he’s on the receiving end of all this I want to do this that and so on, so his opinions really matter as they’ll affect my decisions in one way or another. Then my friend(s), I have started learning to share things. I am not one to. I know it sounds unimaginable considering I am a chatter-box but surprise, there’s some mystery here. It’s like God leads me to people who will help in my venture for growth, the little experience I have gathered in different aspects of my life is through people. People I have known from the places I have been or people I have met in the weirdest of ways or people I have been introduced to. Super support system. You’ve got to love people.

Slowly I have been moving up, learning a couple of things while at it. The one thing that’s been my constant, though sometimes I tend to under-look it sometimes,  is that I strive to excel. I want to grow. The moves I make or intend to make are so that I can grow, so that I can make me and mine better. While at it, make a difference in the lives of the people I meet along the way or better the places I pitch tent in. I think what would make me feel unsatisfied is if I feel that I am not able to do this. If I feel stagnated, if there’s no sense of growth or there’s nothing I can do to make a difference. If I can’t do any of this, then why am I there or why am I doing what it is am doing in the first place?

That’s a little “Something. About.Me”. Also my very first picture-less post. Strange huh?

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

 

25 Going On 26

I know I’ll be too excited to do a post tomorrow, so let me do it now as it’s become sort of a tradition. Still comfortable saying my age, but now that am tipping to the other side of the scale, I think I should start learning to be discrete about it. Until say 40 when am still looking young and not anything close to it. I am 25 going on 26, I don’t know what to write *cue in that Sound of Music song*. But really, I don’t know what to write but I need to write something. Let’s see, I think I will go with the few things I figured while at the tender age of 25.

Happy Birthday

I undervalue myself most of the time. You know how others get impressed by your achievements or doings but you end up missing the point, moving on and working a lil’ harder harder for more. Yes, I do celebrate my milestones, but then the excitement is short-lived because from that milestone there’s another one that’s supposed to be achieved. As I concentrate on what needs to be achieved next, I forget that this is how far I have come from and I almost just almost have everything that I need (resource-wise) to get me going. That’s a blessing.

Relationships are molded. No relationship comes already formed and through the process, there’s those bits and pieces that need to be beaten back for it to be in shape, it’s painful but once you’re over that, it becomes beautiful. Even roses have thorns right? Basically, you have to compromise and sacrifice a few things without losing yourself though. Learn to meet in the middle and accommodate each other, know which role is played by who and respect each other while laughing, loving and living. Yes, it’s work in progress, always is. That’s being submissive.

I am very defensive of myself. Sometimes, you need to hear others out. They see you from the outside, they’re not very subjective in their opinions of you, but objective in their judgement based on how they relate to you and how they know you. That’s one thing I’m struggling with. Accepting I am wrong, even when I don’t think I am..I mean who thinks they are ever wrong? *if you agreed with me, that’s the problem right there*. That’s being humble.

Make many plans, so that even if some fail, at least you’ll have a couple of others you’ve managed to achieve. Plans are also not cast on stone, so they can change at different times of your life and in different situations. I didn’t succeed in all the plans I had set out during my age 25 tenure, others changed too, but I am content and grateful for all the ones that came to be. That’s being honest and ambitious.

26 does sound like a super year. Especially if I think of it like those read-the-future-kind-of-people, it’s a double of the year we are currently in (2013 … so 13*2 = 26). Ha ha trust me to do that, sometimes you’ve got to imagine the light of the end the tunnel before you get to it. It gives you a peace of mind. So for this year, I expect things to double for me :-) . Point in case: I would like to graduate, get a salary increase, get a pair of 6-inch heels (though I know I will almost never wear them) or better yet re-stock my shoe rack and closet, get a bigger house, save for a car, those are just but a few that I know within my control, there others that aren’t but it’s the doubling year ain’t it? at least according to the theory that I just derived.

This moment looked so far and now it’s here. Last but not least, it’s also my boyfriends birthday, yeah on the same day. I know how awkward that seems and even feels now that the d-day is here *did I just make it sound like we’re getting married?*.

I would actually like to take this moment *how I sound like am receiving an Oscar or Grammy Award…lol too many moments of sounding like something today* to tell him ↓ and that he made my 25 worth the while. I hope it’ll be the same for the many years to come. ILY to Dions!

Amazing, Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to my fellow Aquarians, keep on keeping it real, you know how we roll. Thanking God, for giving us another year to see his goodness and share it with the rest of the world.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*