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25 Going On 26

I know I’ll be too excited to do a post tomorrow, so let me do it now as it’s become sort of a tradition. Still comfortable saying my age, but now that am tipping to the other side of the scale, I think I should start learning to be discrete about it. Until say 40 when am still looking young and not anything close to it. I am 25 going on 26, I don’t know what to write *cue in that Sound of Music song*. But really, I don’t know what to write but I need to write something. Let’s see, I think I will go with the few things I figured while at the tender age of 25.

Happy Birthday

I undervalue myself most of the time. You know how others get impressed by your achievements or doings but you end up missing the point, moving on and working a lil’ harder harder for more. Yes, I do celebrate my milestones, but then the excitement is short-lived because from that milestone there’s another one that’s supposed to be achieved. As I concentrate on what needs to be achieved next, I forget that this is how far I have come from and I almost just almost have everything that I need (resource-wise) to get me going. That’s a blessing.

Relationships are molded. No relationship comes already formed and through the process, there’s those bits and pieces that need to be beaten back for it to be in shape, it’s painful but once you’re over that, it becomes beautiful. Even roses have thorns right? Basically, you have to compromise and sacrifice a few things without losing yourself though. Learn to meet in the middle and accommodate each other, know which role is played by who and respect each other while laughing, loving and living. Yes, it’s work in progress, always is. That’s being submissive.

I am very defensive of myself. Sometimes, you need to hear others out. They see you from the outside, they’re not very subjective in their opinions of you, but objective in their judgement based on how they relate to you and how they know you. That’s one thing I’m struggling with. Accepting I am wrong, even when I don’t think I am..I mean who thinks they are ever wrong? *if you agreed with me, that’s the problem right there*. That’s being humble.

Make many plans, so that even if some fail, at least you’ll have a couple of others you’ve managed to achieve. Plans are also not cast on stone, so they can change at different times of your life and in different situations. I didn’t succeed in all the plans I had set out during my age 25 tenure, others changed too, but I am content and grateful for all the ones that came to be. That’s being honest and ambitious.

26 does sound like a super year. Especially if I think of it like those read-the-future-kind-of-people, it’s a double of the year we are currently in (2013 … so 13*2 = 26). Ha ha trust me to do that, sometimes you’ve got to imagine the light of the end the tunnel before you get to it. It gives you a peace of mind. So for this year, I expect things to double for me :-) . Point in case: I would like to graduate, get a salary increase, get a pair of 6-inch heels (though I know I will almost never wear them) or better yet re-stock my shoe rack and closet, get a bigger house, save for a car, those are just but a few that I know within my control, there others that aren’t but it’s the doubling year ain’t it? at least according to the theory that I just derived.

This moment looked so far and now it’s here. Last but not least, it’s also my boyfriends birthday, yeah on the same day. I know how awkward that seems and even feels now that the d-day is here *did I just make it sound like we’re getting married?*.

I would actually like to take this moment *how I sound like am receiving an Oscar or Grammy Award…lol too many moments of sounding like something today* to tell him ↓ and that he made my 25 worth the while. I hope it’ll be the same for the many years to come. ILY to Dions!

Amazing, Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to my fellow Aquarians, keep on keeping it real, you know how we roll. Thanking God, for giving us another year to see his goodness and share it with the rest of the world.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Looking for Inspiration?

We look for all inspiration from what we do, hear, say, see ain’t it? Just like when we pluck an eye lush or see a lonely star (save for a shooting star) or blow the candle(s) on the birthday cake, we actually make that wish hoping with all our fingers and toes crossed that it will come true. At least I genuinely do. I met with my baby sister yesterday (though it happens every other day now that she’s doing something in the CBD as she waits to enter campus and boy isn’t she demanding…lol), a mid my busy schedule *cough cough* I can actually afford to say that without flinching, and I was telling her, “It would be nice if I could make lots of money without having to work so hard.”  Of course we laughed it off, I mean, like seriously?!

Inspiration is

Source

So after she lays down her case as to why I should take her for lunch, this was done in a professional way mind you, these kids. We go for lunch, chit chats and all, watch her gobble down everything ha ha, and when I go back to the office, I think of that statement I’d brushed off earlier as a joke. We actually do look for inspiration? In all cracks and crevices, in people and things both existent and non-existent. As we look for it, our hopes are raised for a moment there and we feel like we’re close to grabbing it or getting it right. Then something slaps us back to reality or gets us to strike that iron while it’s still hot. The thing with inspiration, just like excitement, is that it dies out faster than you can squeal, “yaaay”. So you really have to be with it, take it and use it before it escapes you.

How we cling on to that source of inspiration we have instantaneously connected with such that the moment it doesn’t appeal to you as had expected it to you end up feeling disappointed, let down, too expectant and all things related. Like when you get the slightest form of criticism you crawl back into your shell, or when no one gives a helping hand, you feel bad. It’s human, am human, it happens to me. It’s because you are depending on that source to give you the energy to start that thing you’ve been dying to do, or that thing that needs to be done but psyche to do it is negative, more like that spark that will start the fire.

But what’s a spark without a purpose or without anything to fuel it? It will eventually go off or just keep sparking and doing nothing. Give that spark life, something to make it develop into a flame or a fire. You are the one who decides what you want it to be based on what you want it to do. Do you want it to cook, warm you up, give light, burn stuff? That spark is your inspiration, it’s better when it catches you working, then it gives you psyche, and not catching you off guard because then it won’t be of use. It’s the spark that’s the source of inspiration for the fire that follows, and it has to work its way into creating a fire that will last long enough to serve its purpose. This could be by having enough gas, fanning or blowing it so as to expose the fire/heat.

Inspiration is not magic or some voodoo,  it’s there with you, you just need to cultivate it. When you look for it, chances are that it will elude you. So you just do your thing, find within you the energy or zeal to do what it is that you’re dying to do, inspiration will find you. I say this because many times, am caught in the endless search for inspiration, I want to sit there and still find it, of course that never happens. I find that I have to start the task then somewhere mid-way I am so in to it, that the passion and desire to get it done overwhelms me, I equate that to my inspiration. The people that help you while at it, give a hand or two, give you positive sentiments, criticism, that’s inspiration. The abstract things that you place your hope on while you do your task, those wishes, those expectations, the unfounded thoughts, that’s inspiration.

Inspiration

You don’t find inspiration, it finds you!

You don’t find inspiration, inspiration finds you! Feels like a Chuck Norris statement.

Inspiration has its source in the oddest of forms, but as long as you experience it. Isn’t that what matters? Besides that, is there something you’ve been dying to do and you just didn’t have that psyche for doing it? Now is the time to start, then along the way, Mr (Mrs). Inspiration will catch up with you.

Pink always wins me over with her music (kind of relates to what I was saying, but from another perspective) and weirdness. How do you like this one? Can you believe it’s just 15th January, how’s it that time is flying, but when you look at the calendar the days are dragging. Is it just me or have you made that observations? I guess that’s how January rolls, but we need to cramp its style sometime. Maybe 2014.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Reflecting 2012, Welcoming 2013

Do you ever look back and think, “what great things have really happened in my life this year?”, like you’re expecting massive changes, and I mean massive. Then again you wonder what massive is? It’s meaning in your life because at one particular point it could be the greatest or best thing to happen to you then after a while it fades off and you tend to forget the impact it had on you at that moment.

That’s where you underestimate yourself, it’s as if nothing really happened to you throughout the year. I was reflecting about that because at some point I was somehow forgetting what this year has actually brought me. Then I had the bulb light moment, of “Jeez, how ungrateful can one get.”

Count your many blessings, name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.~ Nurser Ryhme.

It may be just a nursery rhyme. One that we sang to pass time or make merry with our playmates but in essence it’s our guide to living a more content life. So in my reflection of what went on in 2012, I thought I could say 12 essential things that I realized have made me who I am today. 2012 made me realize;

  1. My family always want the best for me. Even when am independent, being mature and responsible, they want to be part and parcel of my life. That I need to involve them because whether you’re young or old, I remain their daughter and sibling. For me they are selfless. (Funny how my dad still gives me pocket-money when I visit home or how my mother packs for me all the frozen foods and veggies or my baby sister keeps me posted on latest music or makes demands just because. They don’t care whether I have or don’t, they’re always there regardless.)
  2. My birthday is what I make it. This year’s wasn’t mind-blowing, but neither was it boring. I ordered for myself cake just in case people forgot to get me some…lol. I was at that point in my life, where I was almost ‘alone’. Luckily, I ended up having 4 cakes, because other people thought of me. I don’t take that for granted, you’re awesome.
  3. Schooling never ends. I am still at it but can’t wait for the day I’ll be reading just for fun, then again will that happen unless am reading some intriguing novels or fancy magazines.
  4. That I need to be in charge of myself. There comes a time you draw the lines, make tough decisions. Character and personality are what define you and when you see them getting compromised, do something. Be in charge.
  5. You need to let go, to get better. There’s no other way to go about it. You want to get better, let go of what is holding you back or what was. Look forward to what is and what will be.
  6. Not everyone you know or relate to has to be your friend. If they don’t like you, disrespect you, gossip, it’s okay, don’t take it personally. Sometimes, a stranger can be more of a friend than the person you have grown to know. Such is life.
  7. That the people who are your friends and want the best for you are few. Know them, be there for them and while at it, let them surprise you. Don’t expect too much because they also have their battles to fight.
  8. God always has my back and I attribute everything to him. I believe that without God, you’re basically nothing.
  9. That you get what you ask for. Your mind, body and soul are somehow aligned to what you’re searching for – You find what you seek. Maybe that’s the influence of the Alchemist, but I definitely have experienced it. In more ways than one.
  10. Positivity, genuineness and gratitude is what connects you to others. That’s what humanity actually needs from you.
  11. Love is life. “I believe that when you find love, you hold onto it and cherish it because there is nothing finer and it may never come again.” ~ Mr.Feeny. That’s what I am doing. He got me and I got him.
  12. That I have grown. I am able to embrace change without so much fear and worry unlike before.

It was a good year, I have no complaints. Loved the amazing opportunities it brought me, the challenges, the newness and revelations it carried. The mantra I unknowingly lived by this year, “It’s better to know, ignorance is not bliss”. Looks like Maya Angelou figured it out because she says “when you know better, you do better.”

I don’t know what 2013 holds for me, us … but it definitely feels like it’s going to be a S to the U, to the P.E.R YEAR. I just feel like the growth experienced in 2012, when brought forward will be a great foundation to start the year. Plus, I know God has so much in store for me. There’s lots yet to be done and those things are not going to do themselves. So, “Let’s Go!”

Anyone setting new year resolutions for 2012? How did the ones for 2012 go? If you did not set any like me, what were your 2012 reflections?

Get your jig on this New Year! It only comes once, so welcome it in style. Ps: Only 1 day to go. What will you be up to?

Pretty Little Liars, Aria Montgomery

Or maybe the Ke$ha way, looks more epic. And don’t we want it that way, whatever will make you get your jig one. Be on it.

Kesha

And don’t miss that kiss when the clock strikes midnight. Keep yours close-by.

New Year Kiss

Otherwise, seeing as am Kenyan and that’s the way we start our sentences, using conjunctions. Grammar is fun when it’s less serious (just reminded me of the Fanta Ad. More Fanta, Less Serious … very unrelated.) For all my super readers, you know I got nothing but love for you! Thanks for visiting all year round, it’s been great having posts for you to read. Now let’s pray that next year, my content will be bountiful and exciting.

New Year, Happy, 2012

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Friday Fives

Thank God It’s Friday! Eeh the week has really flown. It’s like it choses when to have wings, when to have legs, or remain legless. It’s started from a two days leave on Monday and Tuesday. Though it didn’t feel much like one because I was catching up with my research work and so on. Then back to work with of course work excitedly waiting for me. Jeez! Why that happens just after some few days of “resting”. How was your week?

1. Oopsies!

Remember when I used to complain (that’s if you follow me on twitter @Kawiria), that my Electricity bill was either coming in unrealistic amounts like KES 66 or in -ve amounts. There’s actually one month I went without a bill. Well, well, guess what? The REAL bill is now here and boy wasn’t it bill’y.

I had consulted my landlord on the matter (on that note, thank God for a good landlord and lady, those guys are good peoples…God bless them). Anyhow, back to the consultation and he told me the reader was either not doing their job or he was just making guesses on the bill which they usually do *lazy bums* then when thy actually come read your meter you’re bitch slapped with a crazy bill. Which is what happened. The good advice he gave me was, “enjoy the amenities, they are here for you to enjoy. But, don’t eat the money you’re to pay for them…lol”. I was for sure expecting some surprise bill, but wow, surprise, surprise again! We’ll check to make sure that it’s actually my bill, then of course that will lead to wallet damages.

2. Weekly Crackers

Progress in my research work at least. So my hopes of having done chapter one and two by end of October are not so bleak.

Got a research book by Kothari from mother dearest. So thoughtful as I will very much need it for the research. I am not anywhere close to finishing but at least I have made the most procrastinated step, starting it up. Getting ready for the tiresome rounds with the supervisors on corrections, recommendations and ish.

I am supposed to go to the Stanchart marathon and I have not lifted a hand or foot to exercise. Is that really a wise idea? Please note that it’s on Sunday and I was registered for the 10km run…LOL yeah, laugh at me too because the joke will definitely be on me come Sunday. When after a few meters I will start panting like crazy and my joints will be severely aching. That’s if I get the balls to go, I’ve started freaking out.

3. Faves and Craves

I can’t get over the cupcakes at Velvet Chocolate Cupcakes (hope I got the name right) at Junction.

Those cupcakes describe moments of pure yumminess. They come in different flavors, black forest with strawberries (my favorite of course), red velvet, chocolate e.t.c. They are spongy, chilled and melt-in-tongue delish. I don’t know how I finish them, they are never enough.

4. Stupendous Snippet

Today we had a talk dubbed, “Your steps to financial freedom” from Britam Insurance. I have done financial talks before and I almost at some point felt like I was in charge of my finances, somehow, but not today. This one got me thinking I am really not in charge of them. Some saving here, spending here, not spending there, fake budgets. Basically, I need to get serious about it, to plan and budget my finances. Well, that means a lot of recording and having more defined goals. Which I think for a better future, for me and my family *can I hear an AMEN* I need to sort this things out now.

5. T.G.I.F Inspiration

Finances, Future

Have a fun-filled weekend, make the most out of it. I on the other hand will definitely squeeze all the juices out of the weekend and make sure I finish (or at least come close to finishing) what I was supposed to before October. That’s ambition. To living, laughing and loving more.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Octo Month

New Month is here! Always wondered what’s behind the “Green Day – Wake Me Up When September Ends” song. You know one of those songs that you always sing along and gladly use their title, but never really understood it, that’s one of them. For me, this September did me good. Got to figure some things as well:

This always exist, everywhere! Hate them, love them … either way you just have to embrace them and be sure to abide by them. I love this ones, you know the ones you know are there and no one is forcing them down your throat but should you go against them, someone is definitely coming for your throat…maybe not literally. Though I think broken unwritten rules hurt the most, and kept unwritten rules bring you the most joy.

Where you are, fun should be there. Fun is not the environment or the place you’re at. Fun is in the people, the people who make that environment bearable. Fun is in how you interact, your attitude, your ability to ooze some awesomeness. You can be in the coolest or fanciest place, but if you’re boring and stuck up then it will just be that. But you could be in a “not so nice” place, but just because you’re interesting, making the most of what you have, laughing, stories and all…that turns out to be so much fun. Fun is created by you, if doesn’t exist.

You deserve this. To figure yourself out, to figure those that are yours and that which is yours out. It could be a few hours, it could be a day, whatever you feel fit for you. Just make time for just that.

Oh now when you invite me for events make it +1 because I for sure have company. The perks of dating, amazing company.

Delish discoveries! There is this Ice cream called Igloo. This is the ish, I mean, we can sideline London Dairy, yes, I said that! We’re yet to try out the different flavors, for starters we did butterscotch, yumminess gallore! Next will be Fruit Salad, then Tuf*something*.

Delish Discoveries

Goofy lift moments. There’s one thing I have come to realize, it’s rare to find yourself alone in the lift. Very rare. So when an opportunity presents itself, you can do things, make funny faces e.t.c then compose yourself (once that “chinese lady” speaks) before the lift opens, because it could also amount to the most embarrassing day…haha.

What am I looking to achieve in October. Let’s just do four things so that I don’t beat myself over it.

  • An out of town weekend plan
  • A sample of the other Igloo ice creams
  • Many more Kodak moments
  • Chapter 1 and 2 of my thesis to be done

We all know that it’s also the awareness month, right? Where you get some of your crucial body parts checked and screened. Where you get more familiar with yourself, few times you can get away with touching yourself…haha just kidding, but really! We need to fight this monster *cancer* that’s eating up our loved ones.

If you don’t have a place to go for check up’s ( breast screening, pap smear, prostate screening among other general ones) and cervical cancer vaccines, I recommend; Family Health Care Medical Center, Phoenix Hse, 5th Floor (Nairobi, Kenya). They have amazing services, that’s where I go.

To new challenges, opportunities, expectations. Let October be the month that for you, live it, learn it, love it.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Say It, Don’t Jinx It!

Call me superstitious or NOT, because am not (I don’t fear black cats *cheeky grin* okay yikes! Just lied, they creep the hell-out-of me) but I have always had this thing with jinxing exciting moments. Like say you are in an extremely happy mood just because maybe someone is making you happy or you’re expecting something to come through and it’s not been confirmed or you’re eagerly waiting for an event that’s yet to come but you want to keep those exciting things at hush hush, so that you don’t jinx it.

Jinxing it in this case, is the exact opposite of what you’re experiencing or expecting happening. Like you becoming sad for whatever reason, or the thing you’re expecting gets turned down or the event is just a miss. Basically, a spoiler to the good things. So I got to thinking about it at some point, very critically I must say *cough*, in the hope that it sounds scholarly, why would I think that saying what am feeling or expecting be a jinx. If anything, what you confess with your mouth somehow becomes because your heart listens and your mind acts upon it. So if you avoid saying the nice things you are feeling, expecting and desiring, then your heart and mind listen and act upon your thoughts and that’s how you give room for the worst.

There’s was this evening I was beyond happy, you know the kind where everything is  extremely funny with the full laughing to rib aches and tears at every word uttered. Then I don’t know how this happened, but in my mind I was questioning it and was like, “am too happy, I just hope the next level is still happy.” I was even going to mention it, I think on twitter (I mean that’s where it feels like you’re shouting at the rooftop when you’re in the comfort of your couch), but I was like nooo, I’ll jinx it. To my surprise, in not so long, something just dampened my moods, must’ve been a disagreement or something. But I hadn’t even said it *sob* I just thought it. Well a thought is also a confession, apparently. Now I figure.

You jinx it when you don’t say it! You thinking that something will turn out the worst should you say it is being pessimist O_O. No, I didn’t read this anywhere, it’s just a thought process. So to be positive and bring forth positive outcomes during moments and situations:

Say It, Don’t Jinx It!

In short, what am trying to say is don’t question your happiness, you deserve every bit of it. Even when it’s challenged or taken away, always try to get it back for its yours to have, own and flaunt! Have a Terrific Tuesday and be more than blessed *wink*. It’s CAT week, let me dash off to read, wish me luck now. Okay bye, for now!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Seekers…Keepers

It’s one thing to know what you want or need,  it’s another to get it and another one to create room for those things once you get them because you eventually do. Problem is that if it’s not self-driven and by that I mean envision it, yearn for it or there’s nothing you’ve had to give up for it, you’ll feel short-changed. The satisfaction derived from that whole process should make you feel like you’re on some spaceship headed to the blue moon okay I just exaggerated but you feel me.

Well that’s just once in a blue moon, most of the times we get things that we thought we didn’t want or need or we actually wanted just had thought of them in a more *castle in the air* kind of way and they drive you off your tangent. That right there is what we call experience, because it’s usually an instance that comes and goes but leaves you some few lessons to learn from.

You have to go through a series of instances to actually figure yourself out first. Pretty sure it’s something we have all experienced in one way or another. For some not in the easiest of ways, for others things have come pretty easy it’s like you had it all aligned it for you. All the same, I think it’s always worth the experience, makes you appreciate what you get even more.

I have been through a couple of experiences myself, in work, at school, in relationships of different kinds … it’s just amazing. I know there’s someone out there thinking, amazing? *pops eyes* are you kidding me? Yeah, I guess that’s how I take it in. Maybe that’s why I’m still sane or that’s why you would see me smiling when I should be hitting the roof as I try to contain my hulk. Trust me we all have a hulk in us, or is this the point where I use singular terms like “I”, I have some hulk a.k.a Meru in me.

Sometimes you get yourself somewhere not because it’s the wrong place at that point time, it’s just a stepping stone to the next level. The next level of taking you towards where you want to be. That situation could be grooming you for what life has in store for you. That’s why I say it’s pretty interesting. Think of it that way and you could be somewhat comfortable with your situation. You know the beauty of it is that, lets assume something goes wrong at one point, you will be sad but it won’t last forever. We are all bound to experience different emotions at different time. Both the good and the bad. Sadness, disappointments, bitterness, is just but a part of them, so is bliss, joy, gratefulness and so on. I tend to think they do take turns, because nothing is perfect, no one is from the human perspective. So at one point you’re on a high, the next you’re at a low (you’ve got to know how to chase this one away once it checks in … low is not a sport, never quite looks good on you).

 

Point is, knowing what you want, better yet identifying what you need. An important aspect of this is that it lets you know what to keep and what to let go of (people, a character you hold, something material, it could be anything). What you keep can sometimes be what deters you from getting…no? Then again, you could get what you want but it’s not necessarily what you need or you could get what you need but not what you want…lol talk of life getting it all twisted, that’s its nature though. So lucky are you when you get what you want and need. It’s a plus knowing it, because it gets you to treasure what you’ve got more, work hard for it because you know its importance and make sure that it’s for keeps. Everything does count, it contributes to who you are, what you’re yet to be and last but not least what and who is linked to you.

In other non-related news,  the music I’ve been listening to these days. Who knew there was country gospel … pop’ish kinda music? She’s good, Jamie Grace (one song at a time album) on replay, so soulful!

Just saw this on my friends update and thought to share :-) since sharing is caring and seeing as I haven’t fed your minds in a while, these ones looks like some great lessons to adopt:

  1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
  2. Marry a man or woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
  3. When you say “I Love you” mean it.
  4. When you wrong someone, look at them in the eye and say “I’m sorry”.
  5. Love deeply and passionately. You may get hurt,but its the only way to live life completely.
  6. Talk slowly but think quickly.
  7. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
  8. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
  9. Remember the 3 Rs: Respect for self, Respect Others, Responsibility for all your actions.
  10. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
  11. Spend some time alone.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Questions In My Head

“What if…?” a ridiculously rhetorical question I must say. Because in my opinion, it doesn’t have a valid answer. Unless of course you try out the thing in question then find out the actual outcome.

I can’t even deny this, I’m one hell-of-a culprit for asking this rhetorical question. And you wouldn’t believe, but this question comes mostly when you have great and amazing things laid on your table and it just looks unbelievable, like “How can this be happening to me, it’s too good to be true“. You ask it to question the occurrence in your life because you feel like you don’t deserve something that good. Or even if you deserve something that good, you don’t believe that it could actually happen to you. Don’t you go something like, “What’s the catch?

We see the world full of bad people, it’s the picture that’s been painted by us and the one we display every other day. It’s what we always expect any time someone utters anything to you or better yet does something for you. Such that when you meet people who are genuine, open, honest, caring and what not it’s really difficult for you to see that. You’re probably thinking, there’s got to be more to it than this.

We are used to people who are shifty, liars, betrayers, con people, envious people,*add other bad people traits*. Well those are just a few in your life, it doesn’t mean everyone is like that. It could even be one, two or three people who you’ve met that exude such character. The next thing we do as humans, is generalize. This completely taints how we see the others who come into our life’s under different capacities. “What if…” comes by when someone is good to us, but the first thing that crosses your mind is doubt and suspicion. Because with this person, you’re venturing into the unknown, after all you can only know someone too well, even a place. Sometimes you just have to experience it yourself so that you can know what the person or place is about. You put yourself out there and don’t be afraid to fail or be heart-broken because that’s what brings the “what if…”. Fear is the beginning of all the what if’s. No one wants anything to go wrong, but how else will you know it’s the right thing if you don’t try.

Believe in yourself , believe in them, believe in the place. That’s the only way to counter the “what if…” questions in your head.

So if something good comes your way, it’s good to look at it critically but don’t let “what if…” be the ones to guide your decisions, you could try your guts if you really want something to question. Because that’s what could deter you from achieving what it is that you set out to achieve in the first place. So just believe, turn that fear into something more positive and tangible like curiosity. You’ll come to realize how lucky you are and be content without too many questions in your head. I am :-)

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Closing This, Opening Those

Oh well, something to make my Monday a little more interesting. Yes, as you know it’s in my nature to make Monday yellow yellow and kill all the blues that present themselves today. I mean, I need to write a post to mark some days like today and how I’m taking a big step.

You’ve probably seen me saying it feels like closing day. Yes, it really does feel like it. Only thing missing is a pack of cards, some snacks and you know how it was when it was closing day back in primary and high school. The excitements and all thinking I have never gone through this before and I don’t know what I am supposed to expect. Good thing is that there’s always a first time for everything. This is my very first to serve a full notice to the end and for a job I loved to bits. It’s quite the experience I must say. Ups and downs, but most of all regardless of the that, it’s been a good experience. One that I’ll look back and I’ll be able to give someone a piece of advice.

So, it’s my last day being online content editor for rupu, yup! Been here for almost 2 years now (1 year 8 months to be exact) and lets say they are the ones who have molded me to be who I am today. It’s an amazing thing to see a platform be given birth to, take care of  it as it grows up, and while at it be at the top of the game. If that’s how nannys feel when they see us (the kids they took care of) all grown up after wiping off poop, bathing us, feeding us, teaching us and what not … then it’s such a fulfilling feeling.

So the final one month wasn’t exactly the easiest of my months. Oh my! I’ve experienced many moments, from the beginning where I actually handed in my resignation letter to the last day. Could that be the reason it’s standard that you have to give at least one month notice. It’s a reality check month, it’s a roller coaster of your feelings. At one point you’re here *points top* then next thing you know you’re there *points bottom* and it’s a cycle. You actually get to learn people, your colleagues through the good and the bad, this one is the bad, because you’re actually leaving them, more like dumping your spouse. Resigning from an organisation is not the easiest thing one could do. It bites, it makes you wonder what the others are saying, if they are happy for you, if you’re doing the right thing, if you’re headed in the right direction and other related thoughts.

However, this is in my own honest opinion. If I have a person who’s resigning in my department/organisation and moving to wherever I would be sincerely happy for them. It shows that they are still of relevance, that you added value to them. Well, that’s what the few organisations I have worked with have done. They have added value to me and I’m super grateful that I worked with them, I will carry that knowledge they’ve impacted in me everywhere I go. After all that’s what life is about – ‘live, learn and apply’. And now my former colleagues are part of my life in one way or another. I would love to meet them and catch up, buy them a drink or vice versa, be invited for stuff, give them business and so on.

Anywhoo, so that’s wassup! So in the midst of all that, let me do something humorous at least. Too much seriousness is not good for me today :-) So there’s this thing called “Not Me Mondays”, stolen the concept from some random blog I happened to see, I think it must’ve been a post from the link below the image above. It’s where you’re just brutally honest, tell it, then you deny it. I think she must’ve gotten it from “Shaggy’s – It wasn’t me” song. Here’s how I got it, let’s give it a try with 5 for starters and see if I have my hand at it.

  • The alarm went off at 6:30 and I didn’t just snooze it and wake up 1 hour later. I mean I would never, never ever…lol
  • That guy who was about to splash on my some puddle water while I was walking to work, that guy hmmm! I didn’t throw imaginary daggers at him, if looks could kill, but nah, that wasn’t me.
  • The guy in a BMW who was picking his nose like he wanted to remove his brains via his nostrils O_O. I didn’t even judge him and think, who does that on traffic. Yuck! But no, that wasn’t me.
  • I’m not that girl wishing that closing day at work could have been a little more interesting, nah not at all. Disclaimer: I’ll make it exciting after I’m out. Now that I have one week of bumming *yaaay* Meeh if only school was also on break, I could take a trip or something. No I’m not the one wishing that.
  • I’m not even so overly smitten *swoon* over a certain mister mister, butterflies, giggles e.t.c. I mean, how now? LOL (that’s for another day, I know you’re thinking, suspense is good :-) continue thinking)

Ha ha so how did it go? I think I should do it more often. That being besides the point, cheers to new beginnings, as I swim in new waters, the unknown, yes, new in every essence of it. Quite a couple of new chapters in my life actually, this should get interesting. Just gotten off my comfort zone. And for every ending, there’s always a new beginning. This is mine, as I close this and open those *cheers*

Have a super week lovely readers, one full of positiveness and awesomeness. Be blessed!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Into the Unknown

“When you walk to the edge of all the light you have and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you must believe that one of two things will happen: There will be something solid for you to stand upon, or, you will be taught how to fly” ~ Patrick Overton

Dreams are known to be strange or rather mine sometimes turn out to be. Oh and that’s if I wake up and remember. Sometimes, I feel like I’m making up a bit of it so that I can coin how it’s going to be, this happens when I wake up and realize I was dreaming and I really don’t want to spoil the sequence. But as we know, once you’re up that’s it. It’s not like you can pause it then play when you get back your sleep. Another one starts up all together.

Like dreams, so is reality. We can be living a life that is going on fine, then it reaches a point we ‘re shaken up by a thing or two. This would be equivalent to waking up from a dream. You don’t want to face that which is shaking you up and even as you try to continue your life as it was whatever it is that’s come has to be faced. Life doesn’t pause and play for you. If anything it’s always on play. It’s not like a remote with the forward, rewind functionalities, you live it as it comes.

As your life is played out, you don’t know what’s ahead of you. It’s one day at a time. One day you’re at your comfort zone, the next day you’re forced to venture into the unknown. From the light and into the dark, at one point you could clearly see where you are headed because the path is lit for you, then at a certain place you cannot see what’s ahead, you could be walking into the edge of a cliff or headed to a beautiful place. Regardless of what is to come, trust yourself – your abilities, your decisions and allow yourself to take a risk and venture out, it could be the best thing that’s yet to happen to you.

What I’m trying to say, is that even with all the light or the comfort of being at a place you can relate with, you can never be to sure. The world is to dynamic for you to stay at the same place. You need to grow always, in the different aspects, you should allow yourself to go out to the unlit areas and find out of course don’t throw all caution out the window what that place has to offer. You could be the one to start lighting up the dark areas and create paths for others or creating comfort zones for others.

That’s probably the reason you are where you are today, because someone else took all the risk to create light were there was darkness, a path where there was none. It could be in anything, you coming into this world, let’s just start from there, must’ve been a risk taken by your parents … seeing as they didn’t know how some of you will turn out to be. But boy, didn’t we turn out good, okay, I’m talking about myself here. So, move forward and see what life’s got to offer in love, work, school, life in general. While at it, don’t forget to put God first, always puts things in perspective.

Venturing into the unknown, gives you some sense of satisfaction, belonging and achievement. Like you wanted and chased what no one else was or what someone else was chasing but got scared or gave up mid-way and turned back. It’s an accomplishment, one that you can proudly say you plunged yourself into, believed in and you’re now reaping the fruits. To those who’ve gotten there, big up. To those of us getting there, all the best, nothing comes so easy after all… No?

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*