Archives

Irreplaceable Values in Friendships

I have been silent, guilty as charged. I’ve also felt it. It wasn’t by choice as the other areas of my life were seeking pretty much a huge chunk of my attention. The remaining 10% of which I could have stolen a chance to write, mostly in the evenings, I dozed off, watched a movie with the mister (which means, dozed off) or hosted friends over for dinner (which means, mini-party). However, I’m 100% well, which I’m thankful for, and so are the people dear to me. It feels like we should say AMEN already.

In other news, remember the What Next post. Well, I’m planning to make sure I have answers to your ‘what next’ questions about my life plans. You know things like, “when’s the wedding”. Now that we’re starting on the traditional bit, that’s some good progress. Truth be told, I never imagined that I’ll be thinking such big things (like marriage and a wedding) this soon. I smile every time I remember that we have a wedding to plan, yet I have no clue how to go about it. But that should never be a bother, we have a wealth of experience around us – to think we already have a designer and wedding planner in the family.

I remember the mister once telling me that I was the 1st girlfriend to actually take him to a wedding or traditional wedding (ruracio). Sometimes I have goldfish memory, but that one stuck in my mind. For once, when he told me (I must’ve just aww’ed then, however this is the real feeling), I felt like I have made a difference in my partner’s life. In an insignificant way to me (because to me, it was just another traditional wedding or wedding) but in a significant way to him (because to him, it’s something he’d always wanted to do but an opportunity had never presented itself). On the upside, at least he never got an old person poking him and telling him “you’re next”. Now, he has a person to point to if that questions ever comes his way.

Just before you wonder what I value in our friendrelationship, let me tell you just one before I drop down a long list. He was my first cooking and now baking buddy. He taught me how to grill (or basically use the oven) – at least I’d mastered the pan, so food-wise he was sorted out. We also baked our first cupcakes together – Google was the teacher. No pans or sufuria’s have been thrown to the other in the process so far. That’s a good thing, considering we still cooperate even when the recipes get confusing or when one thinks they can do it better than the other but figure how to accommodate each other’s expertise.

20140729-001302-782620.jpg

That got me thinking of values. Do you ever think of what value you add to the person(s) you meet or the people you spend your days with? Because what’s friendship if you don’t add some value to someone? If you don’t feed off each other? Yes, friendship is a symbiotic relationship. I usually say that if I meet someone and we hit it off, at least let us have a conversation that will somehow build each in one way or another, even if for humors sake. Like leave someone laughing their guts out or happy about themselves or what they do.

What makes someone irreplaceable is not who they are or seem to be as individuals, but the value they bring to your life, even if for the moment you interact with them.

There are people you meet and you feel like they’re sucking the life out of you, like you’re offering too much of yourself yet you’re getting nothing in return. While there are others you meet that speak life into you and the moment you part ways, you feel reenergized, and given a chance, you’d not want to let them go. What are those things you value in your friendships?

Happy Eid Mubarak to all my Muslim friends.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

#OnceUponAKenyanTime

It was a trending topic yesterday and it got me thinking of all the things that made my childhood the best childhood ever. From the cartoons (looney toons, saber rider, road runner, sonic the hedge hog, Denver, sky dancers, captain planet, anamaniacs, lion king e.t.c), to the snacks (goodie goodie’s, super snack, crunchie, ball gums, kashata’s e.t.c), the programmes (fresh prince, full house, martin, derrik, sunset beach, sister sister, seventh heaven, Tausi, Tahamaki, club kiboko lol e.t.c. ), the games (shake, rounders, brikicho ‘hide-n-seek’, cha mama, scrambo e.t.c) that kept me outside till dark when the house-help comes looking for you to go take a bath (that bit wasn’t fun). There was the music ( brandy, 3T’s, Monica, soul for real, sisqo, DMX, Ja-Rule, Bow Wow childhood celebrity crush e.t.c). How we would do cut outs from the Sunday paper on exercise books to get the lyrics so that we can sing-along when their songs are playing. Growing up in the 90’s was just it. There was so much time to do out door things especially as kids. I think it gave us so much room for development (both mental and physical). We had time to have socialize with neighbors and have fun while at it. Now? I don’t even know who my neighbors are and I don’t see me getting to know them any time soon.

It was the era between non-technology and technology. Technology has changed things I tell you. From the great wall black and white  T.V’s to colored now digital / L.E.D /3D TV’s. Cartoons are now more than ever complicated, they force the kid to grow up so fast. Games are even worse (from the simple brick game and adventure / fighting games (super mario, tekken, street fighter and so on) – now we’re on simulators for games). I am just wondering in the next say 30 years how life will be? There will be a gadget for doing everything. You will basically need to do nothing. Currently everyone is working on making life extra ordinarily easier. I can bet people may eventually end up not knowing each other offline.

Then there are just those things that were the best at taking “pain” away. Especially if you’re feeling unwell. You know kids,  they get sick every so often. Then your mum very appropriately asks you, “*insert home name*, what do you want to eat today?”. I would really like to know what some of your responses were. Mine was always an automatic, “FRIES and SAUSAGE”. I mean, I didn’t even have to think about it. Sometimes that would even make me forget that I was actually sick when the excitement checks in. But you know, you have to maintain your sick act or else the next day you’ll be up in the morning preparing for school…lol (that preparing for school in the morning part wasn’t fun. I remember there was a time I was so sleepy after the help woke me up, and instead of going to bathe I went ahead to sleep in the bath tub and she didn’t notice, my mother wasn’t amused ha ha. It’s never been repeated).

This previous Easter weekend, in the midst of all the moving we decided to make home fries. Best decision since I genuinely love home fries. Home-made fries can make me happy any day, any time as the taste is … oh so delish. So we started the preparations of making home fries. I was the one doing the potato peeling, then the boyfriend took over and made the chips slices. Talk of someone who complements your weaknesses. Yes, making chips slices is not my forte.

Cooking Fries, Ribena, Kenya

Then somehow, he’s the one who took over the rest of the frying. I was not allowed to comment on anything and when I started “won’t they burn”, “isn’t the heat too much” … I was shoo’ed off the kitchen. Some sausages were added to complete the meal. Plus what’s a meal without chilled ribena. I was in heaven for a moment, that’s redefined yumminess. It was nostalgic. Just that this time we’re the one’s making them. At least no one was sick and the following day was work day, no excuse for not waking up early.

Well, thanks to technology, in future I intend to get a potato peeler, a potato cutter (you know the ones that help you cut potato into chips) and a chips maker. This will eliminate the effort used to make this meal. But are they all necessary really? They make work easier yes, but don’t they spoil all the fun involved? We had fun prepping this home-made fries and the effort made them even taste better. What’s your take though?

I wonder what the “cure meal” for kids nowadays is?

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

“Looking Back…

over my shoulder, I can see the look in your eyes…” totally feeling Mike and the Mechanics right now. For the record, I’m neither good at memorizing lyrics nor singing along. This is one of the few including some old school rock songs that I can comfortably sing along and pull some karaoke moves … in the shower though.

I was doing my round of blogs then came around this one that asked:

Go back to one of your first blog posts. What did you write? Share an excerpt if you feel comfortable. How have you and your blog grown since then? Source

Wow! This feels like going back to my nursery and primary school books and reading my compositions if you know what I mean. But this one can’t be as bad, my composition back then were rib crackers. I swear if someone like my folks unleashed one of them I would die of shame…haha!

My first blog post : The Elusive. I was so green in this writing/blogging world it’s just nostalgic. I hadn’t read many blogs so to say, I was more of a books and magazines kind of girl. The writers there were my role models as I tried to make sense of my thoughts and communicate them to you, you and you. Here’s an excerpt;

“Everyone has their weakness and strengths. What I usually say is that if you can handle the weakness of the other person then you’re set. This does not only apply to relationships but to friends and family too. It is how you handle the other persons weakness that keeps you close together because you can eventually even turn that weakness into a strength … SWOT analysis comes in handy haha!”

That was a random post by the way! Thanks to @Suetiful, @Nkirdizzle and @Putty_Catt for coercing me into starting up a blog. This is just after we had finished campus and were new to the working world. How time flies. They were partly the reason for my second blog post: Ho’s n Bro’s. Interesting post right there. There was a jumble up but I think my point came through. Here’s an excerpt;

“So all those boy mistakes I have made previously have modeled me into who I am today. Cheers to you. It’s so funny how to relate with boys/girls it’s like you need a manual, or rather that’s how many people view/put it, its like there are rules and regulation. I mean, boys, they are just human beings like the girls too. They have everything the girl has of course except the physical appearances and bodily functions , male testosterone vs female estrogen, otherwise every other thing is the same they’ve got feelings, they get hurt, they get happy and sad. If you pour something hot on them they get burnt too…okay, am now being sarcastic. But honestly, there’s no rule in any book that stipulates how you should treat a man/woman, or even if you get any, it wont work, because you have to learn the person and know what it is that they want/like because every person is different. My thought, you have to learn and grow into people to know what tickles their fancy, what puts them off.”

Funny thing is that I’ve always written about life, what I think of it, the lessons I learn from the many happenings and where I see myself in it. I beat around the bush, before making the point clear. More of trying to make you understand my point of view before bringing in the conclusion.

300+ posts and 3 years down the line, some things have definitely changed or improved to the better. Just like wine, I get better with age. From the thought process, presentation, wording, prose, spellings e.t.c. I still have a long way to go, hope a few years down the line I will be able to make something out of the blog like help a life or two in one way or another, have it work for me, change it to a website, change its look. There’s so much room for improvement it’s overwhelming.

In other very unrelated news, formerly this day was Moi Day (10/10/year). However, our leaders felt that we either had too many holidays or Moi was full of himself for declaring a holiday in his name. So in the new constitution you can guess what transpired, the holiday was axed! Now I’m proudly working and building the nation on what was to be Moi Day and boy isn’t the day dragging!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Nostalgia Is …


Isn’t it so beautiful? Yes How one minute you have the most beautiful creature on your hand and the next it’s flown away and you just want to chase it and see where it’s going. I remember when we were kids we would go to the fields (It feels good narrating a story like this, looks like I’ll have much to tell my kids … hehe) and as we are playing or just sitted plaiting the grass, yes we did that, a random ladybird would come and perch on your body, funny enough they always targeted the arm. Then you would place it on your hand and let it walk on you. At first I used to get scared that it would bite me or pee on me only to figure out they are harmless little creatures. Then once you just make a move that threatens them, they fly away to their safe haven (which was always on a leaf).

They were deemed as luck and you know how we used to believe in such, I still do in a way. I mean for it come to your arm without you forcing it to … then there must be something welcoming and charming about you. No wonder we would send such messages;

I’m sending luck and wishes
All wrapped up in a hug
Good things should come your way
With this tiny ladybug.
~Author Unknown

I never see them around anymore *sigh* I just thought about em’ little bugs when I randomly saw a pic and it took me way back. Those beautiful lucky bugs that bring good tidings should learn to also perch on concrete so that I can see more of them. Now that the green leafy suburbs are becoming a rumor.

It’s always the simple things in life that bring you so much unbelievable joy! Who thought Kawi’s ever so present question I would ever think of a lady bird and get nostalgic.

Quote of the day

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” ~ Albert Einstein

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*