Last Minute Disease

I’m pretty sure you can relate with that disease and it has no cure, we’re still searching. The one that makes you want to do everything at that very last minute. You know just right before the deadline. All through, you have known that you’re supposed to do this and it has been at the back of your head. What is lacking is that motivation to get your hands dirty on it just yet. So you procrastinate, and procrastinate, you give your excuses. Then when d-day is here, things go bonkers. You’re trying to juggle 5 balls *read projects* all together, and boy, we all ain’t expert jugglers.

You have just been given an assignment, you have been told it’s due in a few weeks. You want to start the assignment but there is just no morale to do it. Everything looks complex, time is evasive, you’re extremely busy doing other things, even those things that are not relevant suddenly become more important. You’re breezed out, but at the back of your head you know there’s something you’re meant to be doing even as the days close in. Then. The d-day is here. The assignment is due tomorrow at 10.00am and it’s 10:00pm and your word document is blank. LOL. Funny at that moment, all thoughts come rushing through. You feel like a combination of Dexter (Dexters Lab) and Professor Utonium (Powerpuff girls). Very lethal combination by the way. Although you come up with the best ideas then, the pressure experienced is also real. I don’t think these other pressures have got anything on it. It works well for some, others get panic attacks.

You’ve been told of a meeting days before. Then the hours before the meeting is when you remember you had some action points allocated to you O_O and you’re supposed to give feedback. It’s an hour to, and you start calling clients, writing reports. This is the time your colleague comes to say hi and bug you and you don’t hear a thing they’re saying. And if they press any further you could detonate. You’re like sitting time bomb.

You were supposed to go to some place by a particular time and you over-estimate the amount of time you have to get there or under-estimate the traffic you will encounter on your way there. Then you get stranded in traffic. You look at your watch and you think if I just alighted and walked I’d make it right on time. Then somehow the traffic moves and you’re there. It’s like your faith moves it, if it doesn’t just walk. In as much as you’re not a good time-keeper, the last-minute saves.

If it wasn’t for that last-minute, many of us would falter in so many ways and things. Especially when it comes to dealing with deadlines. Maybe this was the source of deadlines. Humans figured that they can’t be trusted to do things at their own pace and deliver without being pressed or put under pressure. If there was no deadline, nothing will be done.

It’s like deadlines are a motivator and last-minute the much-needed adrenaline rush.

I used to say I want to get healed of the last-minute disease, but then am thinking how it has helped me meet so many deadlines. Even those I never thought I would meet. The adrenaline rush makes me feel like a Miss.SmartyPants, but really, my mind goes on an overdrive. That feeling like I can conquer the world. While if you asked me when the assignment or project was first being given, I would probably be like, “this shiii be so difficult”.

Are you one culprits taking advantage of that last minute? Does it work for you?  Or would like to be healed…lol. Our scientists are still looking for the cure, once we concoct some, it’ll be shared. Have a super Friday!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

In My Defence

Defense or Defence … Defensive or Defencive? To be American or British in spelling? Maybe we should just Africanise to eliminate this unnecessary tough decisions…lol

There are those times when you feel the need to protect yourself from other people’s thoughts? When you say something and someone gets it all wrong or they something about you and you feel, “No! I am like that because of this?”.

I have this trait called “in my defence”, where I want to display my case and explain it a bit further, just to make things a bit clear, be judged a bit less or worse, try to seem perfect. So that we can at least be on the same wavelength, catch the same frequency and all that comes with it. However, that’s not how it is in the real world, that happens in my head. It plays out pretty well so to say.

In my quest to making you understand what I am trying to say, instead of making things better. You guessed that right, I make things wrong. I dissect my thoughts and bring out aspects that the other party hadn’t even thought of and it just gets worse with every explanation. As innocently as it came out, guilt engulfs it and it gets twisted all over again. Which now makes me wonder, “in my defence” is not working as intended or not defending me as I thought.

Holding onto that wonder, it comes to my attention that one can never be perfect, in as much as you try to be. You’ll always look imperfect in the eyes of other people and almost always to your yourself … except of course when you beat your expectations, for a moment there your feel like a ninja. This is whether you like it or not, so best get used to it soon enough. To you, everything could be alright but to others you’re doing it all wrong. Basically, your goodness to someone or anyone is very subjective, you can only do so much. The rest is dependent on what they think or perceive of you or even the mood they are in.

Do things to the best of your ability, put your mind and heart into it, past that, there’s nothing more you can do to get through to someone. Just let it it be and let them react as is. If they are happy with you, awesome. If not, at least you did your best. Ain’t it?

Now that I have reached my brink with this trait, this is me wanting to drop that defensive habit. To see if the earth will continue rotating if I do. Let’s make it achievable and say at least for two weeks, I should make it my objective. I say what I mean and let the recipient think on their own. If they think what I don’t mean, too bad; if they relate to what I am saying, even better.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

A Lil’ Random

Well, totally depsyched to do the TGIF thingie today. Youtube was blocked…oh and facebook…and anything else that’s under the ‘dating and matrimony’ or ‘entertainment’ *laugh at me now*. Why do they do that, I just listen to music, not watch the videos and I try not to misuse facebook and I bet am a nice employee by all means *sob sob*. Anyhow, now am stuck to songs on my iPod, getting in touch with my kind once again. There must be a reason I (or my baby sister) populated the library, thank God, so am just getting accustomed to it.

In the same spirit, I’ll do things differently. Like an ‘I wish upon a little star’ kind of thing. Remember the Disney song,

“…When you wish upon a star /Makes no difference who you are / Anything your heart desires / Will come to you / If your heart is in your dream / No request is too extreme / When you wish upon a star /As dreamers do / Fate is kind / She brings to those who love / The sweet fulfillment of their secret longing / Like a bolt out of the blue / Fate steps in and sees you through / When you wish upon a star / Your dreams come true…”

When it rains and you don’t want the rain to reach to you, when you wish there were umbrella’s covering all your paths or you were just in the mood to dance in the rain and have no care if you got wet, cold or caught a flu. That’s me speaking in parables right there, but you can just take the surface meaning, I mean that too.

Some random thoughts, wishes, tell-a-tale … just something writable.

Getting to understand someone else who is not you and you want a life together, making some decision together, considering them in whatever you do and so on, is the most ‘roller-coaster-y’ ride ever. Let’s just say there’s times you’re on a high and there’s times you’re on a low and there’s times you’re just easy like on normal level. You have to contain all those moments and at the end of the day be happy with the world. That my dear friends, is what a relationship is, and this is just theory…lol. You just need two people who always want to work it out, that’s what it is.

On that note my parents celebrated their 28th wedding anniversary on 1st September *whoop whoop*. They are my living proof that two people who are completely different can be there for each other and with each other for that long. Through basically everything.

We all have weaknesses no?I bet it’s something we can’t avoid. It’s something that other people won’t like in us or something even we don’t like in ourselves. What if we worked on those weaknesses and either turned them into strengths or found a way in which they can work to our advantage.

I saw some really HOT bag sometime ago and I’ve been really thinking about it you know at the back of my head, then I was like, I’ll just give it time and when I go check again and it’s still there, then it’s really meant to be mine. Today over lunch, I went to check it out as a by the way just to show my friend and guess what? It was still there. The universe is speaking to me, plus the price was lesser and am planning to bargain for lesser than lesser…hehe

I am starting my thesis this semester *cringe* am at that point where you come up with your topic and select a supervisor. So by the end of this semester I need to have a proposal and defend it *cringe again*. I hope and wish that it’ll be a swish for me and I’ll make a killer proposal and that I finish the whole thing in due time.

I wish we were we given the freedom to come up with our own language or lingo, because I pretty much make up my own weird words. It makes whatever am saying sound more interesting. It’s like adding sugar and spice to the words that flow out of my mind and through my mouth and fingers…am that culprit and am less guilty.

Word are just that, words. Actions are what determine if the words have meaning. Although words also make or break, so just be ware of what you say, to whom you say it to and when you say it. Like they say, there’s a time for everything. I’m learning to hold my tongue in cheek when I am about to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. I’m one of those people who just says because it needs to be said without much care I must have gotten that from my dad…lol.

Sometime I feel like am the worst friend, am I the only one who’s bad in keeping in touch? Someone please console me. I do try though. It doesn’t help that also communicating with people is not my forte. Ps: that when I am physically there with people am like AWESOME ha ha but emails, chats, texts someone shoot me or maybe just call me. I need to style up and be all rounded, right? Anyway, I’m working on that.

Thanking God for who I am and all I’ve got. There are some people who pray for just a portion of what you have and you just don’t know, so don’t take anything for granted.

“’Thank you’ is the best prayer that anyone could say. I say that one a lot. Thank you expresses extreme gratitude, humility, understanding” ~ Alice Walker

Enough of exposing myself. It’s a super day, so Thank God It’s Friday. Despite no Youtube, the song of the day courtesy of the iPod is :  Nick Lachley – What’s Left of Me, I love! Ps: I hope the link I’ve put is the right one, I just googled it.

Quote of the day

And as usual, have an awesome one full of living, loving and laughing. No sad faces, okay, just gotten instant psyche, coffee has nothing on it. Be blessed!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

#ihatequotes

You know the quotes we hate are those that clearly outlay our weaknesses to rest of the world. You feel like it’s literally undressing you and you just want to cover yourself up because it’s a tad bit embarrassing. I mean in front of all my mates??? That’s just uncool. So you just read through the quote and pass by it like it didn’t exist. Worse, if you read it and decide to analyse it and it’s there throwing daggers at you, like you, ‘yeah, you ain’t got that or you ain’t doing that right’…cringe!

Do you have any of those? Here is one of mine,

“Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.”

Am not one to show people I need them, although I actually do am human…lol so in most cases, most if not all of my friends don’t also show me that they need me. Am thinking it’s a sort of ‘I do you, you do me’ kind of thing. Every time I see that quote up there, this fact always hits me hard. I don’t go breaking people’s walls, because I don’t know how to insist on things, on people or anything that makes me look like am desperate for attention. If I try once and you put me off, am the kind that goes back to my shell. So in the same spirit, I put up my walls and don’t really expect anyone to break them.

#ihatethisquote because it puts a spotlight on my awkward trait. It also acts as my opener, it makes me think of this other side of me that I mostly avoid.  Like one of those things I haven’t managed to do yet and am still working at doing it. I can bet that’s the reason we hate some quotes. That in as much as they inspire you, you haven’t been able to apply it or you know you’re far away from getting there. You even find yourself asking if the people who share these quotes even do that? guilty as charged. There are so many things I say here, that I don’t do, but I have figured out that they are the key to many other things and I aspire to do them some day if not now. I guess so is the case of the quotists .

Hey, but there’s hope people. I still love me my quotes and hate me some. Just because I hate some quotes, doesn’t mean that I won’t try. After all it’s all about trying, failing then starting all over again. You just never know.

 

Happens to be Thursday, that day if you have forgotten to be thankful and truthful throughout the week, it gives you a chance. Good day good people’s.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Easter Weekend Musings

No, I’m not calling it Thriday anymore because it’s just not Friday, it’s just almost like. Yeah, I’ll just be that kid throwing tantrums. I have had a bad day, such a bad day that at some point I felt like pulling out my hair, gorging out my eyes, poking myself with a pencil…hahaha okay, who am I kidding? I love myself too much to do any of that. But really, it felt so tough especially psychologically. Work + School = A bish, you feel this when you have loads of work (at work) and then a load of projects, cats, assignments and a massive group presentation (in school) that is more than half your course marks. Point here is *GROUP*, is worse than individual work, it amounts to team work, expectation, pressures. Oh my my day!

Look at me, I’m still surviving! Back to normal and I have every reason to smile, well because the presentation went well and stress levels have zero’ed down to almost zero (I know that doesn’t make sense to you, it also doesn’t make sense to me too…lol).

Random Thoughts

Humble beginnings are the best beginnings, don’t despise them. I tend to think they are the most fulfilling, so don’t be scared of starting small. That’s why you start with baby class, 1 follower, 1 reader, 1 fan, 1 year, 1 month, few shillings, small house, just friends … then you or whatever it is just grows. It’s just like a seed, it starts off as just as 1 seed and the next thing you know there are so many things sprouting, and then I just thought “Jack and the Beanstalk”. Surely, I need help…hahaha.

This Weekend

Family and friends are in the itinerary.

I’m Craving

Thinking steers chicken or those pork chops for Spurs right now *salivates*

Either or BOTH will do ... hehe, speaking of which maybe I should do lunch with one of my readers some day. Who's up for this?

Song of the day

This is what has kept me going through the day. Did I mention I replay songs especially if it suits my mood. Today, I was dying to be happy, to be my smiley self and this song, the up beats and all are what keep me alive inside. There was a bit like a ray of happiness.

I want and pray

I know there’s many paths that have been aligned for us and we’re supposed to choose one. I just hope I’m on the right one or if not, at least en-route to it not too far off. Yeah, parables…lol

Quote of the day

Happy Easter my people. And as usual for every weekend *cheers to it and drink to that* to having fun, living, laughing and loving. Stay Safe. XO!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

W(h)acky Wednesday

My alarm rings and I snooze as usual, it’s a mastered routine he he. Today I had a valid excuse though, it was raining hard…pounding and as a normal human being *cough* that just calls for some snuggling of the duvet. It then ceased and I woke up to do the usual morning activities. As am just about to get out of the house to head to work, talk of bad luck, it started raining again, heavily! Oh well, it’s just rain. If you know me well okay not so, you know I don’t really love the rain unless I’m warm and cosy, watching a movie or sleeping otherwise it just spoils…it’s a spoiler.

So I get the big umbrella and start my walk to work, which on a Sunny day, I love to bits. But today, I had to jump puddles, avoid splashes from the rain and passing cars and what not. Then as I’m in my own happy world okay, not so happy because of the rain, a motorists just assumes I’m a walking log and basically drives past me leaving me a second shower of the day.

Let’s just say, today I exuded quite a number of emotions at one go, I even shocked myself. From “Oh my, to oh no, to what the fuck, to I swear if I had a gun, to crap I need to go back home, to I need to call my colleague and tell her I have to go back and change, to arrrrghhh just smile and go to work like that.” I was dripping water, from my hair to my feet. Since when do people get that heartless? I mean you’re driving, you’re warm, cosy and ‘safe’, why in the world would you want to make some innocent pedestrian miserable on Wednesday morning key word here being ‘Morning’, worse yet, it’s raining? The number of times I’ve told myself, Kawiria you need a car for the rainy days…lol, now I really need one *drills words into head*, working towards that #ProjectBuyaCar

So after my emotions went back to normal and I’m still walking to the office as drenched as I was. I was now thinking to myself, what worse could happen now, like I could just fall flat face into a puddle or trip or walk into something like a tree…lol. It’s the thoughts that were keeping me sane, in case you saw me on the road smiling or looking like I’m forming one, that is what was probably running through my head. I couldn’t wait to get to the office and whine, whine, whine about the eventful morning. Yeah, that I did. I’m now patiently drying off.

“Just when you think it can’t get any worse, it can. And just when you think it can’t get any better, it can.”  ~ Nicholas Sparks

In other non-related news, John Legend never lets me down that’s my song of the day. I’m still oogling *_* and the lyrics, oh my. Thanks @Nkirdizzle

Today is the day I could do with day brighteners now that I’m soaked and cold (yeah, trust me to just go on and on about it. I hope you feel woiye for me). So at the moment I’m finding myself craving things like…

Where do they make hot chocolate like this? could just have me some of that. Plus a cookie to chase it

Day's I dream of my duvet and heavy socks while at work

Basically, that’s how my day started, not the best but definitely not the worst either. It was just bad with a bad hair to show for it, hoping no cold or allergies.

 Now you can buy me a steers burger, give me a hug or just smile and turn that ‘Whacky’ into ‘Wacky’ Wednesday. Have an awesome one yourself.

Signing Off ~~~ Kawi

Press Reset

Do you ever wish that life had some sort of reset button? Like, I think I just screwed up *RESET*, I don’t like where or how this is going *RESET*, I just want to start all over again just because *RESET*. It could come in handy on one of those bad days gone absolutely wrong. You know the kind where there’s nothing much you can do but just hold out and get through it. The button would look something like this ↓, strategically placed right next to your bed, so that when you close your eye’s and think or experience the above, you can just press it and everything is cleared off (back to factory settings i.e. minus all the baggage).

Unfortunately folks, that does not exist! Sucky huh! I mean out of all the stuff that’s been invented, they just couldn’t have come up with that. That’s what we need the most, not coffee makers, dish washers and sandwich toasters … ok, that’s a lie, we need those too…hehe. Well, someone of course thought of that and designed a really nice way of resetting your day, month or year (basically your life) back to a near normal again using those important aspects of our lives. Here goes;

Health

• 30 Days to Health. Choose a month to start new eating habits. Maybe you want to become vegetarian, vegan or completely raw or maybe you just want to eliminate processed foods like; frozen food, chips, soft drinks, candy and essential junk foods.
• Go on the Master Cleanse: a 10 day mono-diet fast that will help you reboot your health and eating habits. It helps you rejuvenate your body and your mind. When you’re not spending your energy on digestion, your body can use its energy to heal itself.  It’s amazing when you’re fasting how much time you realize you spend thinking about eating and making food. (hehe I can’t hack this one)

Simplicity

• Reassess your mess. Go through out all your junk and make 3 piles: toss/recycle, donate, and keep. Throw out or donate or sell anything you haven’t used in over a year. The same rule applies with your closet, garage and wardrobe.
• Unwind your mind. We spend a lot of time trying to organize and create more functional living spaces. But we often neglect the most important space we live in: our mind. Now it’s the best time to reboot your mind. Drop disempowering beliefs and drop negativity.

Relationships

• Reconnect. Most of our ambitions are centered around ourselves, but they don’t all have to be. Maybe you want to make your resolution to spend more time with your partner or your kids. Maybe you want to create a better relationship with your parents. Or perhaps you just want to dissolve a grudge you’ve been holding against someone. Now is a good time to forgive and forget.
• Be more romantic. With all our goals surrounding our careers, productivity, and health, it’s easy to put romance on the back burner. A few ways to jump start your ideas for rekindling romance might be: giving your lover love coupons, spending more quality time together and dating your partner more often. Even if it just means going out for coffee or watching a movie on the couch together. (For the singles *cough* take it up in future … lol)

Finance (Reboot your bank account)

• Here’s a great exercise to start:  Take out a paper and draw a line down the middle. Mark the first side as column a, mark the other side column b.
• Look over your bank account for the past 30 days and write down all your non-essential purchases in column a. This includes things like unneeded spending on clothes, lattes, junk food, renting movies, entertainment, gadgets, CDs, etc. Don’t include things such as rent/mortgage, utility and phone bills.
• Now in column b write down all the things you’d like to have money for to pursue things you’re passionate about. This might be thing like dance lessons, tai chi or yoga classes, a mountain bike, you get the idea. Try to see what you can remove from column a to make more room for the things in column b.

Fitness

• Maintain the chain. Make a simplified resolution is to create an exercise chain and all you need is a calendar. Choose one month of the year and make a pact to exercise every day. Each day you exercise, you put an X through that day on calendar. Your job is to not break the chain.
• Tap the troupe. It’s easy to fall off the wagon when you’re going it alone. If you join a local fitness group, you’ll have others that will hold you accountable.

Source : John Petrov

As you can see, it’s not as easy as pressing a button. This one consists of reading, writing, challenges … but it’s something anyway. It doesn’t clear off memory but at least it breaks the usual routine and makes you feel different. Sometimes the solution to this messed up moments is just setting up new goals or dream and setting aspirations that come from your heart and what you value most. Then just take it one day at a time, think small but act big.

In other unrelated news, Shujaa day was awesome. I respected the shujaa in myself and gave her a break. The day was spent sleeping, watching movies, eating and eventually thought, “Jeez,  I need to do something a little bit more constructive” … hence the post.

A BIG cheers to all our fallen heroes and heroines, we are where we are because of them regardless of how small or big their impact was felt. I sure hope that statement makes sense.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

On Second Thoughts

Ummmm Oh no! And on ↓

Really like really really *cue soprano voice* I have come to the conclusion that second thoughts, must either be my best friend or my worst enemy, that just makes me doubt any decision that I make be it simple as simple as what’s 9+2 or difficult like … hahaha I don’t know what’s difficult really, it varies across various platforms.

I can’t seem to decide whether it’s a best friend or an enemy, but I can bet it’s my enemy! Because the best friend is supposed to be that person who will tell you, chic that decision you just made is stupidly lame, but you know what, just deal with it. Then an enemy will definitely give you advice is not in the best of your interest, anything to make you miserable and frustrated.

Do you ever have moments where you do something and you start thinking, maybe I shouldn’t have, maybe I should have done it the other way. For me second thoughts are like the good – bad angel, telling you do – don’t do, only that it comes too late after the first thought has already been executed.

Maybe it’s as a result of over-thinking things, if only I could do stuff and not really think of the impact and instead wait and see the outcome in reality and not as it is in thought, because then I see it from the worst case scenario. Let me give some examples then maybe we can relate.

Here goes:

You have made a decision on something it could be an exam or an interview, then  once you’ve made the move answered the questions and handed in your paper or finished with the interview, while you were at it, everything seemed correct and to be flowing, but once you get off it, you start thinking, wait a minute,what if I answered it like this instead or what if I used this instead of that … like seriously, second thought, damage has been done! Then you think how you’ll just fail but you get the results and you had ace’d it!

or

You’ve written a text to someone you like, and they take AGES to respond. And you start thinking, what if I said too much, what if they don’t like me as much as I like them , what will they think … psychotic tendencies. You’ve already sent it anyway, and then they respond with something reasonably nice, that doesn’t make you want the earth to open up … but you had thought otherwise.

or

You pour out your heart to someone and wait to hear what they have to say, but right after you’ve gone all foot in mouth, you think, “Oh snap, I shouldn’t have said all that, now what do they think, what will they say back” … and you could just wait to hear their response before taking yourself through the torture of the second thought.

or

You say yes to something, could be a deal, a job, a plan … then you think, ummm maybe this is not it, what if I made the wrong choice, should’ve probably said no. While I was thinking this, I was watching the movie “Mr. Popper’s Penguins” which you should watch, it’s kinda hilarious. And Mr.Popper had to say this at some point,

“Second thoughts are as valid as first thoughts, they only come later” ~ Mr.Popper

In as much as I would’ve loved to disagree with his statement, I think it’s quite appropriate, but only if it came before the execution of the first thought. Then again there’s a reason the first thought came first.

The second thought in question is the doubting Thomas, yeah, as I try to convince myself. So if you over think like I do, maybe it’s time we gave our minds a rest. There’s only so much the second thought can change … it’s just a source of frustration. I have been trying that of late, not to have second thought on what I do, because most of the time, what you think first is the real thing, what you think after is a condemnation of the real thing, so you’re basically trying to undo what your heart wants.

First thought equals less stress, second thought equals more stress! And once I figured that I have so many “on second thoughts” moments, which in turn made me stressed even when I was supposed to be happy. This is what I had to tell myself, “it’s about time I got confident in my decisions”. As long as the decision are made with wisdom and some from my heart … then there’s no need for doubts. Take in the outcomes as they come, if bad deal … with it, if good … rejoice!

QUOTE OF THE DAY

The real secret to total gorgeousness is to believe in yourself, have self confidence, and try to be secure in your decisions and thoughts.

My theory is that if you look confident you can pull off anything – even if you have no clue what you’re doing ~ Jessica Alba

 

 

Lovely Weekend Lovely Peoples … XO!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Musings of the First Friday *Favorite Month*

Oh my it’s September already! That was fast but I’m not complaining. August was one hell-of-a-crazy month, especially the middle part of it. I think it’s now that I actually realized that being alone can be quite depressing sometimes.

I’m the kind of person who likes to share irrelevant things … talk about anything that’s worth talking about. So every time I go home and something lame has happened to me like I have attended the wrong finance class TWICE or work is just too much and school is another thing all together, I have a flu or I’m feeling stressed about *I don’t know*, maybe there’s this someone I like … you know, that kind of stuff.

And there’s no one to blubber all this too. I think August is the time I missed my family the most since I moved out. I really miss living at home, the nagging, the questions, the being babied when I’m “sick” and all. In as much as my folks used to irritate me with all the questions about school, work, life and so on every time I get home … now is when I appreciate and really miss all that. I would now find myself being the one to call them, to voluntarily tell them what’s going on … because they are the one of the few people, if not the only ones who are interested in all these things that may seem irrelevant but in one way or another they are so relevant and need to be shared.

Considering I don’t have so much time on my hands with work all day and school in the evening … depression at the end of the day, no people to talk to or ask me what’s going on, besides the phone call in which you can’t exhaust everything. I thought I was used to all this stuff. Living alone is fun, the freedom, self-responsibility … but it can get pretty lonely! And you start adapting to the loneliness, which is not a cool thing. TV and movies become your best friends, which is so unlike me … bad bad bad!

Now since August is over you know one of those months that you would want to get over and done with *switches back to my normal self*. I think such stuff happens so that you can know yourself better and not let some circumstances change who you are, because who you are is amazing. I had a whole week of pouting and complaining about everything … and that’s definitely very unlike me, but glad I figured what was going on.

Anyhow, today happens to be the first Friday of the month. And I like September and September babies … I have no idea why? and don’t even ask me why, but one of my besties in campus is a September baby and she made life in campus so much fun with no drama … lol I remember she used to tell me, there’s no for catching feeling when someone does something,  it’s never that serious … then now she’s disappeared, now that I’ve remembered *rushes to gtalk*… but it’s definitely bound to be a good month.

Random Thought

I’ve always said I like September babies for the longest time and I find July babies cool and now I wonder if there’s someone who thinks February babies are awesome … haha that was for lack of a random thought…ok, it’s really random *marco polo*

I’m Feeling

So good, so awesome, so bubbly … so contagious tihihi! I could be the best company right about now.

This weekend

My friends baby’s birthday party then after that I’m loose like a goose *does the goose dance* , then I should go home and ask my baby sister why she told me I’m becoming like my mum (is that a positive thing or a negative thing?) hmmmm, but girl has got to read and watch movies after finishing school *insert mums voice* ]:)

I’m thinking

Now that I can’t really can’t place a finger on what I’m craving … I’m thinking,

Song of the week

Neyo – One In a Million –> How we’re complicated maen! Her reaction at the end … lol. Would love to see the continuation or there already is?

I want and pray

I want September to be that great month for me.  My prayer goes to *drum rolls* HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO MY FOLKS! 27yrs is not a short time, thanks for all the love and the values you’ve taught us. You’ve made our life’s more than beautiful and all I ask God is to bless you with all the happiness, peace, strength, wisdom and most of all, all the love you need, because we’ll definitely be needing so much of that from you … as usual

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

This is kinda stupid but … hehe

Have an amazing weekend, full of laughter and loads of fun. Take care and keep safe!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Of Signs, Love and Life

Random thought : Do you ever think that God sometimes has some serious laughing moments when he listens to our thoughts?

Now, now, now where to begin! This is one of those posts I have been wanting to write for the longest time but I never know exactly how to. I know you’re probably wondering why, well, that’s because it’s about life, love and the irky relationships. If you’ve read my post before, you probably know that I’m one of those people who’s big on relationships and love, but umm not any more.

I have just come to the conclusion that I don’t understand the whole concept of relationships and chances are that I was probably not cut out for it, but since I most definitely don’t want to be a nun or celibate, I will need to figure it out some day *read sooner than later*. You know how sometimes you want to try figure yourself out without having to ask others, yeah, that’s was an epiphany I had, now that sometimes my mind is usually on an overdrive.

Ever heard of the zodiac signs?

The signs of the Zodiac can give us great insights into our day to day living as well as the many talents and special qualities we posses where you can discover a great deal of relevant information about yourself, get to know things like why you are so attached to your possessions or why you are so emotional and so on.

You can also learn as much as you can about the traits of the different sun signs and make your life flow smoother because you understand the motives behind Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra , Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius and Pisces. In case you didn’t know there are 12 of them.

The funniest thing is that I used to think that these zodiac signs are the most stupid things ever. Until I grew up I got myself reading through my dear zodiac sign, Aquarius! And 3/4 if not all the things I was reading I was left in awe because that’s so me, I was like this O_O the whole time. Of course there’s those one or two things where I’m a bit different thanks to factors such as family, background, experience and so on. Then I started reading others peoples signs and I’m like, “Jeez! If I had read this stuff before”. Then I would know what I am getting myself into when dating or befriending some people and maybe it would’ve been much much easier than it was.

And the more I read them, the more I’m like how do people with such different traits even manage to be together … It’s just depressing. You know how a person whose a loner “ingoing” dates someone who’s outgoing … And the loner wants time to themselves and this other one wants to hang out with the loner (of course it would end up being annoying for both) or if it’s two loners then they’ll stay apart because they all want to be alone, if it’s two outgoing guys then there’s going to definitely be something wrong somewhere because there needs to be one who’s a bit relaxed (I’m just guessing) … see why I say I don’t get this! This is just one very random complex example.

Hahaha *evil grin* So of late I’ve been asking my friends their birthday dates or for the ones that I know, I have checked out some of their traits from the zodiac signs and guess what … some are totally matching *scary huh* but what’s better than having an idea of what you should be expecting from people? Maybe it will make disappointment easier to handle, or at least you will know what it is about them that’s going to disappoint you or make you happy and if your traits and theirs can at least get along and if not, what you need to do to compromise like be more persistent, more patient and stuff like that.

Anyway since I can’t keep running away forever, I’ll have to learn how to deal with the “completely opposite to me” people, dealing with disappointments. Considering I also have flaws, as much as I’m running from certain disappointments, I could also be a disappointment to someone … tihihi! I don’t want to grow old and alone, that’s pretty boring so can this fairy tales we used to watch when we were young just happen … Kiss a frog and it turns into a prince or the knight in shinning armor comes to save this damsel in distress. If wishes were horses, clearly weaves would be non-existent and they definitely aren’t *snaps back to reality*.

QUOTES OF THE DAY  got to be a bit positive you know :p 

“Life is about trusting your feelings and taking chances, losing and finding happiness, appreciating the memories, learning from the past, and realizing people change.”

“We think there is always a tomorrow, so why expose our feelings today? Why risk being vulnerable? Why take the chance? Because today, what we love, what we feel, what is real, is what we have. Tomorrow, it may all change.”

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*