Easter Weekend Musings

No, I’m not calling it Thriday anymore because it’s just not Friday, it’s just almost like. Yeah, I’ll just be that kid throwing tantrums. I have had a bad day, such a bad day that at some point I felt like pulling out my hair, gorging out my eyes, poking myself with a pencil…hahaha okay, who am I kidding? I love myself too much to do any of that. But really, it felt so tough especially psychologically. Work + School = A bish, you feel this when you have loads of work (at work) and then a load of projects, cats, assignments and a massive group presentation (in school) that is more than half your course marks. Point here is *GROUP*, is worse than individual work, it amounts to team work, expectation, pressures. Oh my my day!

Look at me, I’m still surviving! Back to normal and I have every reason to smile, well because the presentation went well and stress levels have zero’ed down to almost zero (I know that doesn’t make sense to you, it also doesn’t make sense to me too…lol).

Random Thoughts

Humble beginnings are the best beginnings, don’t despise them. I tend to think they are the most fulfilling, so don’t be scared of starting small. That’s why you start with baby class, 1 follower, 1 reader, 1 fan, 1 year, 1 month, few shillings, small house, just friends … then you or whatever it is just grows. It’s just like a seed, it starts off as just as 1 seed and the next thing you know there are so many things sprouting, and then I just thought “Jack and the Beanstalk”. Surely, I need help…hahaha.

This Weekend

Family and friends are in the itinerary.

I’m Craving

Thinking steers chicken or those pork chops for Spurs right now *salivates*

Either or BOTH will do ... hehe, speaking of which maybe I should do lunch with one of my readers some day. Who's up for this?

Song of the day

This is what has kept me going through the day. Did I mention I replay songs especially if it suits my mood. Today, I was dying to be happy, to be my smiley self and this song, the up beats and all are what keep me alive inside. There was a bit like a ray of happiness.

I want and pray

I know there’s many paths that have been aligned for us and we’re supposed to choose one. I just hope I’m on the right one or if not, at least en-route to it not too far off. Yeah, parables…lol

Quote of the day

Happy Easter my people. And as usual for every weekend *cheers to it and drink to that* to having fun, living, laughing and loving. Stay Safe. XO!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

W(h)acky Wednesday

My alarm rings and I snooze as usual, it’s a mastered routine he he. Today I had a valid excuse though, it was raining hard…pounding and as a normal human being *cough* that just calls for some snuggling of the duvet. It then ceased and I woke up to do the usual morning activities. As am just about to get out of the house to head to work, talk of bad luck, it started raining again, heavily! Oh well, it’s just rain. If you know me well okay not so, you know I don’t really love the rain unless I’m warm and cosy, watching a movie or sleeping otherwise it just spoils…it’s a spoiler.

So I get the big umbrella and start my walk to work, which on a Sunny day, I love to bits. But today, I had to jump puddles, avoid splashes from the rain and passing cars and what not. Then as I’m in my own happy world okay, not so happy because of the rain, a motorists just assumes I’m a walking log and basically drives past me leaving me a second shower of the day.

Let’s just say, today I exuded quite a number of emotions at one go, I even shocked myself. From “Oh my, to oh no, to what the fuck, to I swear if I had a gun, to crap I need to go back home, to I need to call my colleague and tell her I have to go back and change, to arrrrghhh just smile and go to work like that.” I was dripping water, from my hair to my feet. Since when do people get that heartless? I mean you’re driving, you’re warm, cosy and ‘safe’, why in the world would you want to make some innocent pedestrian miserable on Wednesday morning key word here being ‘Morning’, worse yet, it’s raining? The number of times I’ve told myself, Kawiria you need a car for the rainy days…lol, now I really need one *drills words into head*, working towards that #ProjectBuyaCar

So after my emotions went back to normal and I’m still walking to the office as drenched as I was. I was now thinking to myself, what worse could happen now, like I could just fall flat face into a puddle or trip or walk into something like a tree…lol. It’s the thoughts that were keeping me sane, in case you saw me on the road smiling or looking like I’m forming one, that is what was probably running through my head. I couldn’t wait to get to the office and whine, whine, whine about the eventful morning. Yeah, that I did. I’m now patiently drying off.

“Just when you think it can’t get any worse, it can. And just when you think it can’t get any better, it can.”  ~ Nicholas Sparks

In other non-related news, John Legend never lets me down that’s my song of the day. I’m still oogling *_* and the lyrics, oh my. Thanks @Nkirdizzle

Today is the day I could do with day brighteners now that I’m soaked and cold (yeah, trust me to just go on and on about it. I hope you feel woiye for me). So at the moment I’m finding myself craving things like…

Where do they make hot chocolate like this? could just have me some of that. Plus a cookie to chase it

Day's I dream of my duvet and heavy socks while at work

Basically, that’s how my day started, not the best but definitely not the worst either. It was just bad with a bad hair to show for it, hoping no cold or allergies.

 Now you can buy me a steers burger, give me a hug or just smile and turn that ‘Whacky’ into ‘Wacky’ Wednesday. Have an awesome one yourself.

Signing Off ~~~ Kawi

Press Reset

Do you ever wish that life had some sort of reset button? Like, I think I just screwed up *RESET*, I don’t like where or how this is going *RESET*, I just want to start all over again just because *RESET*. It could come in handy on one of those bad days gone absolutely wrong. You know the kind where there’s nothing much you can do but just hold out and get through it. The button would look something like this ↓, strategically placed right next to your bed, so that when you close your eye’s and think or experience the above, you can just press it and everything is cleared off (back to factory settings i.e. minus all the baggage).

Unfortunately folks, that does not exist! Sucky huh! I mean out of all the stuff that’s been invented, they just couldn’t have come up with that. That’s what we need the most, not coffee makers, dish washers and sandwich toasters … ok, that’s a lie, we need those too…hehe. Well, someone of course thought of that and designed a really nice way of resetting your day, month or year (basically your life) back to a near normal again using those important aspects of our lives. Here goes;

Health

• 30 Days to Health. Choose a month to start new eating habits. Maybe you want to become vegetarian, vegan or completely raw or maybe you just want to eliminate processed foods like; frozen food, chips, soft drinks, candy and essential junk foods.
• Go on the Master Cleanse: a 10 day mono-diet fast that will help you reboot your health and eating habits. It helps you rejuvenate your body and your mind. When you’re not spending your energy on digestion, your body can use its energy to heal itself.  It’s amazing when you’re fasting how much time you realize you spend thinking about eating and making food. (hehe I can’t hack this one)

Simplicity

• Reassess your mess. Go through out all your junk and make 3 piles: toss/recycle, donate, and keep. Throw out or donate or sell anything you haven’t used in over a year. The same rule applies with your closet, garage and wardrobe.
• Unwind your mind. We spend a lot of time trying to organize and create more functional living spaces. But we often neglect the most important space we live in: our mind. Now it’s the best time to reboot your mind. Drop disempowering beliefs and drop negativity.

Relationships

• Reconnect. Most of our ambitions are centered around ourselves, but they don’t all have to be. Maybe you want to make your resolution to spend more time with your partner or your kids. Maybe you want to create a better relationship with your parents. Or perhaps you just want to dissolve a grudge you’ve been holding against someone. Now is a good time to forgive and forget.
• Be more romantic. With all our goals surrounding our careers, productivity, and health, it’s easy to put romance on the back burner. A few ways to jump start your ideas for rekindling romance might be: giving your lover love coupons, spending more quality time together and dating your partner more often. Even if it just means going out for coffee or watching a movie on the couch together. (For the singles *cough* take it up in future … lol)

Finance (Reboot your bank account)

• Here’s a great exercise to start:  Take out a paper and draw a line down the middle. Mark the first side as column a, mark the other side column b.
• Look over your bank account for the past 30 days and write down all your non-essential purchases in column a. This includes things like unneeded spending on clothes, lattes, junk food, renting movies, entertainment, gadgets, CDs, etc. Don’t include things such as rent/mortgage, utility and phone bills.
• Now in column b write down all the things you’d like to have money for to pursue things you’re passionate about. This might be thing like dance lessons, tai chi or yoga classes, a mountain bike, you get the idea. Try to see what you can remove from column a to make more room for the things in column b.

Fitness

• Maintain the chain. Make a simplified resolution is to create an exercise chain and all you need is a calendar. Choose one month of the year and make a pact to exercise every day. Each day you exercise, you put an X through that day on calendar. Your job is to not break the chain.
• Tap the troupe. It’s easy to fall off the wagon when you’re going it alone. If you join a local fitness group, you’ll have others that will hold you accountable.

Source : John Petrov

As you can see, it’s not as easy as pressing a button. This one consists of reading, writing, challenges … but it’s something anyway. It doesn’t clear off memory but at least it breaks the usual routine and makes you feel different. Sometimes the solution to this messed up moments is just setting up new goals or dream and setting aspirations that come from your heart and what you value most. Then just take it one day at a time, think small but act big.

In other unrelated news, Shujaa day was awesome. I respected the shujaa in myself and gave her a break. The day was spent sleeping, watching movies, eating and eventually thought, “Jeez,  I need to do something a little bit more constructive” … hence the post.

A BIG cheers to all our fallen heroes and heroines, we are where we are because of them regardless of how small or big their impact was felt. I sure hope that statement makes sense.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

On Second Thoughts

Ummmm Oh no! And on ↓

Really like really really *cue soprano voice* I have come to the conclusion that second thoughts, must either be my best friend or my worst enemy, that just makes me doubt any decision that I make be it simple as simple as what’s 9+2 or difficult like … hahaha I don’t know what’s difficult really, it varies across various platforms.

I can’t seem to decide whether it’s a best friend or an enemy, but I can bet it’s my enemy! Because the best friend is supposed to be that person who will tell you, chic that decision you just made is stupidly lame, but you know what, just deal with it. Then an enemy will definitely give you advice is not in the best of your interest, anything to make you miserable and frustrated.

Do you ever have moments where you do something and you start thinking, maybe I shouldn’t have, maybe I should have done it the other way. For me second thoughts are like the good – bad angel, telling you do – don’t do, only that it comes too late after the first thought has already been executed.

Maybe it’s as a result of over-thinking things, if only I could do stuff and not really think of the impact and instead wait and see the outcome in reality and not as it is in thought, because then I see it from the worst case scenario. Let me give some examples then maybe we can relate.

Here goes:

You have made a decision on something it could be an exam or an interview, then  once you’ve made the move answered the questions and handed in your paper or finished with the interview, while you were at it, everything seemed correct and to be flowing, but once you get off it, you start thinking, wait a minute,what if I answered it like this instead or what if I used this instead of that … like seriously, second thought, damage has been done! Then you think how you’ll just fail but you get the results and you had ace’d it!

or

You’ve written a text to someone you like, and they take AGES to respond. And you start thinking, what if I said too much, what if they don’t like me as much as I like them , what will they think … psychotic tendencies. You’ve already sent it anyway, and then they respond with something reasonably nice, that doesn’t make you want the earth to open up … but you had thought otherwise.

or

You pour out your heart to someone and wait to hear what they have to say, but right after you’ve gone all foot in mouth, you think, “Oh snap, I shouldn’t have said all that, now what do they think, what will they say back” … and you could just wait to hear their response before taking yourself through the torture of the second thought.

or

You say yes to something, could be a deal, a job, a plan … then you think, ummm maybe this is not it, what if I made the wrong choice, should’ve probably said no. While I was thinking this, I was watching the movie “Mr. Popper’s Penguins” which you should watch, it’s kinda hilarious. And Mr.Popper had to say this at some point,

“Second thoughts are as valid as first thoughts, they only come later” ~ Mr.Popper

In as much as I would’ve loved to disagree with his statement, I think it’s quite appropriate, but only if it came before the execution of the first thought. Then again there’s a reason the first thought came first.

The second thought in question is the doubting Thomas, yeah, as I try to convince myself. So if you over think like I do, maybe it’s time we gave our minds a rest. There’s only so much the second thought can change … it’s just a source of frustration. I have been trying that of late, not to have second thought on what I do, because most of the time, what you think first is the real thing, what you think after is a condemnation of the real thing, so you’re basically trying to undo what your heart wants.

First thought equals less stress, second thought equals more stress! And once I figured that I have so many “on second thoughts” moments, which in turn made me stressed even when I was supposed to be happy. This is what I had to tell myself, “it’s about time I got confident in my decisions”. As long as the decision are made with wisdom and some from my heart … then there’s no need for doubts. Take in the outcomes as they come, if bad deal … with it, if good … rejoice!

QUOTE OF THE DAY

The real secret to total gorgeousness is to believe in yourself, have self confidence, and try to be secure in your decisions and thoughts.

My theory is that if you look confident you can pull off anything – even if you have no clue what you’re doing ~ Jessica Alba

 

 

Lovely Weekend Lovely Peoples … XO!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Musings of the First Friday *Favorite Month*

Oh my it’s September already! That was fast but I’m not complaining. August was one hell-of-a-crazy month, especially the middle part of it. I think it’s now that I actually realized that being alone can be quite depressing sometimes.

I’m the kind of person who likes to share irrelevant things … talk about anything that’s worth talking about. So every time I go home and something lame has happened to me like I have attended the wrong finance class TWICE or work is just too much and school is another thing all together, I have a flu or I’m feeling stressed about *I don’t know*, maybe there’s this someone I like … you know, that kind of stuff.

And there’s no one to blubber all this too. I think August is the time I missed my family the most since I moved out. I really miss living at home, the nagging, the questions, the being babied when I’m “sick” and all. In as much as my folks used to irritate me with all the questions about school, work, life and so on every time I get home … now is when I appreciate and really miss all that. I would now find myself being the one to call them, to voluntarily tell them what’s going on … because they are the one of the few people, if not the only ones who are interested in all these things that may seem irrelevant but in one way or another they are so relevant and need to be shared.

Considering I don’t have so much time on my hands with work all day and school in the evening … depression at the end of the day, no people to talk to or ask me what’s going on, besides the phone call in which you can’t exhaust everything. I thought I was used to all this stuff. Living alone is fun, the freedom, self-responsibility … but it can get pretty lonely! And you start adapting to the loneliness, which is not a cool thing. TV and movies become your best friends, which is so unlike me … bad bad bad!

Now since August is over you know one of those months that you would want to get over and done with *switches back to my normal self*. I think such stuff happens so that you can know yourself better and not let some circumstances change who you are, because who you are is amazing. I had a whole week of pouting and complaining about everything … and that’s definitely very unlike me, but glad I figured what was going on.

Anyhow, today happens to be the first Friday of the month. And I like September and September babies … I have no idea why? and don’t even ask me why, but one of my besties in campus is a September baby and she made life in campus so much fun with no drama … lol I remember she used to tell me, there’s no for catching feeling when someone does something,  it’s never that serious … then now she’s disappeared, now that I’ve remembered *rushes to gtalk*… but it’s definitely bound to be a good month.

Random Thought

I’ve always said I like September babies for the longest time and I find July babies cool and now I wonder if there’s someone who thinks February babies are awesome … haha that was for lack of a random thought…ok, it’s really random *marco polo*

I’m Feeling

So good, so awesome, so bubbly … so contagious tihihi! I could be the best company right about now.

This weekend

My friends baby’s birthday party then after that I’m loose like a goose *does the goose dance* , then I should go home and ask my baby sister why she told me I’m becoming like my mum (is that a positive thing or a negative thing?) hmmmm, but girl has got to read and watch movies after finishing school *insert mums voice* ]:)

I’m thinking

Now that I can’t really can’t place a finger on what I’m craving … I’m thinking,

Song of the week

Neyo – One In a Million –> How we’re complicated maen! Her reaction at the end … lol. Would love to see the continuation or there already is?

I want and pray

I want September to be that great month for me.  My prayer goes to *drum rolls* HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO MY FOLKS! 27yrs is not a short time, thanks for all the love and the values you’ve taught us. You’ve made our life’s more than beautiful and all I ask God is to bless you with all the happiness, peace, strength, wisdom and most of all, all the love you need, because we’ll definitely be needing so much of that from you … as usual

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

This is kinda stupid but … hehe

Have an amazing weekend, full of laughter and loads of fun. Take care and keep safe!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Of Signs, Love and Life

Random thought : Do you ever think that God sometimes has some serious laughing moments when he listens to our thoughts?

Now, now, now where to begin! This is one of those posts I have been wanting to write for the longest time but I never know exactly how to. I know you’re probably wondering why, well, that’s because it’s about life, love and the irky relationships. If you’ve read my post before, you probably know that I’m one of those people who’s big on relationships and love, but umm not any more.

I have just come to the conclusion that I don’t understand the whole concept of relationships and chances are that I was probably not cut out for it, but since I most definitely don’t want to be a nun or celibate, I will need to figure it out some day *read sooner than later*. You know how sometimes you want to try figure yourself out without having to ask others, yeah, that’s was an epiphany I had, now that sometimes my mind is usually on an overdrive.

Ever heard of the zodiac signs?

The signs of the Zodiac can give us great insights into our day to day living as well as the many talents and special qualities we posses where you can discover a great deal of relevant information about yourself, get to know things like why you are so attached to your possessions or why you are so emotional and so on.

You can also learn as much as you can about the traits of the different sun signs and make your life flow smoother because you understand the motives behind Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra , Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius and Pisces. In case you didn’t know there are 12 of them.

The funniest thing is that I used to think that these zodiac signs are the most stupid things ever. Until I grew up I got myself reading through my dear zodiac sign, Aquarius! And 3/4 if not all the things I was reading I was left in awe because that’s so me, I was like this O_O the whole time. Of course there’s those one or two things where I’m a bit different thanks to factors such as family, background, experience and so on. Then I started reading others peoples signs and I’m like, “Jeez! If I had read this stuff before”. Then I would know what I am getting myself into when dating or befriending some people and maybe it would’ve been much much easier than it was.

And the more I read them, the more I’m like how do people with such different traits even manage to be together … It’s just depressing. You know how a person whose a loner “ingoing” dates someone who’s outgoing … And the loner wants time to themselves and this other one wants to hang out with the loner (of course it would end up being annoying for both) or if it’s two loners then they’ll stay apart because they all want to be alone, if it’s two outgoing guys then there’s going to definitely be something wrong somewhere because there needs to be one who’s a bit relaxed (I’m just guessing) … see why I say I don’t get this! This is just one very random complex example.

Hahaha *evil grin* So of late I’ve been asking my friends their birthday dates or for the ones that I know, I have checked out some of their traits from the zodiac signs and guess what … some are totally matching *scary huh* but what’s better than having an idea of what you should be expecting from people? Maybe it will make disappointment easier to handle, or at least you will know what it is about them that’s going to disappoint you or make you happy and if your traits and theirs can at least get along and if not, what you need to do to compromise like be more persistent, more patient and stuff like that.

Anyway since I can’t keep running away forever, I’ll have to learn how to deal with the “completely opposite to me” people, dealing with disappointments. Considering I also have flaws, as much as I’m running from certain disappointments, I could also be a disappointment to someone … tihihi! I don’t want to grow old and alone, that’s pretty boring so can this fairy tales we used to watch when we were young just happen … Kiss a frog and it turns into a prince or the knight in shinning armor comes to save this damsel in distress. If wishes were horses, clearly weaves would be non-existent and they definitely aren’t *snaps back to reality*.

QUOTES OF THE DAY  got to be a bit positive you know :p 

“Life is about trusting your feelings and taking chances, losing and finding happiness, appreciating the memories, learning from the past, and realizing people change.”

“We think there is always a tomorrow, so why expose our feelings today? Why risk being vulnerable? Why take the chance? Because today, what we love, what we feel, what is real, is what we have. Tomorrow, it may all change.”

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Another Journal Entry

Seems like last Friday wasn’t my day really, even from my TGIF … then from another angle, it was probably my day. You know one of those days that you wake up on the right side of the bed like you do everyday especially if your bed is correctly placed against the wall but the only difference is that this day just feels wrong or down from the moment you step out of it! Maybe I should’ve slept longer like it wouldn’t have made a difference.

With Moody Mercy popping up here and there in the course of the day, the day ended with me witnessing two people (whom I don’t know) getting hit by a bus. My reaction was, trembling, holding mouth in shock and a huge wave of fear. I didn’t even want to look because that for a moment looked like a horror movie. So you want to know why don’t watch horrors? Not because I am scared ok that’s a lie but because I put myself in the position of the actors and I start thinking, what if it was me? what if that happened to me? what would I do, where would I be taken?

Besides learning to look right, then left, then right again before crossing … I would love to learn how to react after an accident, because clearly, I don’t feel like I helped in any way besides looking and feeling pity for the victims *sigh*. I don’t know if that’s a sign of regret, because to be honest I would like to know what happened to them … but because I did not help I’ll never know. I just said a word prayer for them and asked God to take care of them, because that just happened, out of the blues, unexpected … It wasn’t planned.

That’s the thing with life, we can plan so much and something happens that distorts everything. It could make you move 10 steps back after you had made an effort to just go 2 steps ahead. Do you ever wonder why it’s like that?

Why you would struggle to get where you are and just in a snap of a finger, it all gets demolished. You know how you can be playing a board game (scrabble, chess), then someone comes and dismantles your game and you either have to start all over again or try and remember how exactly it was but chances are that you’ll miss a thing or two because as you were playing you weren’t anticipating that someone will come and do that, so you were doing your best shot so that you can win in the end. Or have you ever typed a document and you’ve poured your heart out, researched, thought out and all then just before you save KPLC does what it does best and you loose your information or the power on your laptop dies or windows decided to pull a restart thank God for office word recovery and windows resume.

That’s the most empty feeling. You feel like you’ve just wasted your time doing all that, only for it to just get disregarded. Then someone comes and tells you; never give up or I understand what you’re going through and all the nice things that you don’t want to hear at that particular time, because only you knows the sacrifice or effort you have made to get there. Someone else could have gone through worse, but at that time you’re you, so you can’t feel how worse their situation is, but you can feel how bad yours is already.

Don’t you wish that life was like Windows that allows you to resume where you were if you make a blander or something unplanned happens as you were . Anyhow, this life again is just amazing and as much as we say make much of the moment you have for you don’t know what tomorrow holds. How exactly are you supposed to do that? We only have 24 hrs in a day, 10 hrs of which you are at work or school and the others you are probably up and about trying to make what is your life.

Then again it’s probably all in the mind. Maybe happy moments are just made up in the mind of course sometimes coupled with good people and good laughs. I mean when you think about it logically, you can go to a fun place, surrounded by the coolest people, plenty of drinks and food and it gives other people the impression that you’re having fun, just based on that fact … having laughs, smiles, interesting convos, eating much (that’s probably just me…lol) but deep inside you’re frowning … looks like you’re having that moment and living it up to others but to you, it’s just another way of passing time, it’s a solid plan to say the least.

Now that I think of it, that moment we all talk about, is all in your head/mind, it’s not about the people you’re with or what you’re up to? That’s what I was thinking all weekend, thanks to not having much to do. You don’t have to be at a kicking party to enjoy that moment of your life … I mean there are people who cannot manage to live like that but you can see how much joy they have.

Sometimes it’s hard to control our feelings … if you’re sad, happy, confused, joyful maybe again that’s also a moment of your living … feel it, experience it and move on to the next because you can only manage the heart for so long or at least you can pretend to. I tend to think the heart is the most disobedient part of your body, why the hell doesn’t it just get on with the program? Which also could be the reason a friend of mine on facebook posted the update below,

Dear heart,
Please do your work which is pumping blood and stop involving yourself in other things.
Yours truly, Victim

LOL … the heart just doesn’t cooperate! And I bet God knew that fully well. So lets just not deceive ourselves that we can live the WOW moment every single day, I think he factored in things like being unhappy, sad, disappointed … the difference is how fast we lift ourselves from those negative factors and notice how much life has to offer and how much time we waste on down-time … Just like a system only that we are living beings … Do you know how much you loose on your down time? You’ve probably made someone not smile, that’s a big thing you know … lol just kidding *not*

I don’t know where I’m heading with this, that’s why it’s just another journal entry … but all in all whatever happens in one’s life, there definitely has to be a reason that we can’t question? We just have to live with it and make the best out of it whether good or bad. Easy to say but hard to do … but it’s not like we are left with many other options to choose from.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

So …  to an awesome week *cheers*

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

It’s a Big Bad World *Paranoia*

Yeah, it’s a big bad world. There’s no two ways about it, because it is. Adam and Eve could not have been thrown into it for them to come and have a ball here. You know! Have you ever wondered why we are faced by so many trials, temptations and tribulations? That’s what I was thinking of anytime I had time to think. And to my conclusion, happiness is definitely a choice, it’s neither a state nor a feeling. Just like love is. Someone chooses to be happy.

Over the weekend, after having so much fun with my friends, a birthday “pool” party and a night out. All was well, and by this I mean, I had no qualm whatsoever with the world. I tend to believe that’s happiness as well. When time came for us to go home, I was easy, because I had had so much fun, it was about time I lay my head to rest. As we walked to the car, the alarm had gone off and the first thing that crossed our minds was that someone had probably hit the car or something, oh well, everything looks okay and what do we do! Enter the car and off we go.

• If I had the mind of a thief or my friends did, then we would have checked that everything in the car is intact, including the locks and the stuff we had left inside. But because we had not experienced such a thing before, all was well and the alarm was just as a result of something unknown.
• If only I were paranoid because we had experienced this before, we would have made sure we had taken all the precautions as we set out clubbing i.e I wouldn’t have left my bag in the car in the first place.

Anyway, I did not realize anything abnormal, my bag was intact, just where I left it. So I never even thought of checking it’s contents. I was dropped home and as usual my first thing was to remove my phone and tell the mister I’m home safe. I had my usual phone, but I prefer to use my zain line because it’s clearer, cheaper and it had enough credit. So I search for that phone … ai! Nothing, so with my regular phone I tell my friend I think I dropped my phone in his car, maybe he could check for me and let me know.

So he tells me it wasn’t there. Please note, that all this time, I’m still thinking, ah! I must’ve dropped it somewhere in the car or at the party, so  someone will get it and call me to return it….HAHA! Then I prepare myself, and as I leave the house I think let me buy credit, hmmm! I gladly take my wallet, but no cash…ai! Then I had cash in my bag, I check, uuummm! Nothing! Okay, so I tell the shop attendant, I’ll be back, I forgot my cash. As I walk to the house, I still hope that I’ll get the money, since I had just changed handbags.

So, no zain phone, no cash! Then I call my friend and tell him I think I was robbed, but we were together the whole time, so the question was where? I hung up and make another call and as I’m explaining what had happened, it hits me, wait, whoever was stealing was just taking electronics and cash, then it hits me … crap! my beloved camera … gone!

Then as I ponder where this must’ve happened, because it was definitely not the pool party at riverside, it hits me that it’s Psys LA parking lot, the reason the alarm had gone off is because someone had found their way into the car *sigh* . And all  they thought of taking is stuff from my bag. However, they were considerate thieves because they had a chance to take the whole bag but he just took what he/she thought looked extravagant…lol

How I was consoling myself, is that maybe for them to steal, they were very needy and just need a source of making money and I just blessed them. To be honest I felt bad and regretted for a moment why I did not carry my bag, or why I didn’t go back home or why did not have a clutch bag … I even cried for a given 7mins *okay, that’s a guess but it was shortlived*, and the one thing I was told, is that’s just material replaceable stuff, and I was like yeah true, phone and camera I can buy, money I mean, we work to make money, it will be made and maybe in double fold.

It’s a big bad word I say and every single trial, is a lesson learnt. I have learnt to be paranoid, if my instincts tell me something is bad, I take the precautions and not leave room for regrets. There are malicious people, so don’t tempt them…lol, I think that day I just tempted the stupid thieves and they just did the noble thing, satisfy their desire. The last thing I ever thought, is that someone will still from me … and that’s what is called trusting the environment a bit too much.

Now, I’m totally okay, no more rants about what’s gone, just appreciate what I have. More will come, bigger and better … yah! And people, take care of your stuff, if you go to party, carry the necessary leave the rest at home, not in the car, or at least in the boot because of late the watchmen work hand in hand with the thieves.

Lesson Learnt

Be paranoid! If you think something could happen because of what you’re doing, or because of an experience you’ve had before, chances are it’s definitely going to happen, so take some reasonable precautions. Painful lesson, but it was most definitely learnt and now I’m over it :p

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“Sometimes paranoia is just having all the facts” ~ William S. Burroughs

“A paranoid is someone who knows a little of what’s going on” ~ William S. Burroughs

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Rantings of a young girl *shame shame*

It seems when you have so much to do time goes so fast and by the time the day or the week is over you feel like you have basically done nothing. That’s me lately, every time I reach home there’s this empty feeling like there is something I am supposed to do that I haven’t done. And by the time I’m getting to the house I am so exhausted that even cooking is a MAJOR task. All I want is to sit and watch t.v (yes I finally have a t.v *whoop whoop*) or just lie down and sleep.

Juggling up work and other many activities can be so hard. I think it actually needs some serious getting used to. I wonder how our folks hacked bringing us up, going to school and working at the same time…while at the same time dealing with their spouse…because relationships are clearly not as easy either, they could be more tasking that the others things combined.

I think I’ll have a sit down with my mother some day *very soon* and ask her. I’m sure if by the end of the day if you tell a woman of her calibre that you’re tired and you just can’t juggle work and other simple things such as school, they would slap you back to reality with how much responsibilty they have and they still manage to liven up the home.

I need to figure out:

Where do they get their energy from:

I mean, she would come off work, and if she’s doing school she goes, she’s also probably been up and down getting errands done. Then comes home and starts checking the state of the house i.e is it clean, have the meals been prepared. If not she’ll get down to business and get everything looking spic and span.

I, on the other hand, gets out of work and I’m tired and too lazy to do any of that work. I mean I even miss the househelp many at times. Like if only I could get home to a cooked meal… shame shame!

How they do things without complaining:

Tell your mum to help you out in doing something … it could be as simple as getting something cleaned up, to helping you run an errand and they do it straight-up, no complaints. They won’t say I don’t have time or I’ll be so tired. And at the end of the day of the week, they’ll have you sorted, in the midst of all their responsibilities and the number of other errands they have to run, yours will be one of them.

I always have an excuse for everything…and most of them are on the lines of time and exhaustion…lol Now it sounds funny, when I think about it. As in you’re given an errand and the first response is, “ummm I don’t think I’ll have time to do it.”

How they are patient, caring and always there for all of us:

Just as it is, they take up all our pieces together. You can be scattered all over, but she’ll help you pick up your pieces no matter the distances the pieces are apart and no matter how irritating you can be in the process. They take it all in, in stride, they’re patient with you…will do anything for you and they’ll always be there.

I, on the other hand, just doesn’t care what goes on. I’ll do whatever makes me happy not thinking about the rest, if they are affected by the actions, after all “it’s all about me and if I’m happy, then everything else doesn’t matter”.

How or why don’t they press “SNOOZE” once the alarm rings?

If the alarm rings, mothers especially wake up at the 1st ring. Ps: they are the ones who probably slept latest and they are the ones who’ve over worked during the day and night.

I, on the other hand, presses SNOOZE then eventually STOP and I continue sleeping…tsk! tsk! tsk! and she’s the one who’ll wake me up, but now since I live alone, I oversleep…lol

Trying to figure out such stuff, maybe it’s just all in their heads, like they just make up their minds that’s how they are going to be. Since I want to be a good one like her, practice makes perfect. So from today onwards here’s my little purple rule book:

• I will never sleep hungry because I am too lazy to cook, I’ll just drag my lazy self into cutting up those onions and tomatoes… I mean after all it’s just a short process *yeah right*, even if it means eating them alone.
• I will not procrastinate because I feel exhausted…that’s my excuse for not meeting my set targets. I mean we are all tired at the end of the day, it’s only human, but I need to find a way to contain that exhaustion.
• I will not give an excuse related to time or exhaustion unless what I’m being asked to do is very impractical in terms of those two. Otherwise if it makes sense I will find time to do whatever it is.
• I will not complain when given an assignment or if I’m told to do something outside my comfort zone.
• I will never SNOOZE * God help* maybe that should be what I give up this season. I mean in my sleep I press the SNOOZE and the STOP simultaneously without opening my eyes…lol. I’m a Snooze pro!
• I will be patient, caring and there when I’m need or even when I’m not needed.

Yeah basically, let me start with those few and see how it goes. Ok, I don’t have choice, but gosh let me say try in case I’m pushing it too much especially the cooking part. The rest I’m sure I can hack. As for the one i’m a pro at, the one that I’m giving up this season is a MUST.

After all, QUOTE OF THE WEEK says,

“Do something everyday that you don’t want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.” ~ Unknown author

Have a lovely week ahead lovely people’s

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Keeping Up With Kawi

This last two weeks have been dramatic in an interesting way. Meaning that as much as they can be frustrating, all I could do is just curse a bit *Oh Sweet* and laugh about it.

Starting from my electricity switch board (or what is it called?) melting away, I mean I have never seen that before. I was smelling plastic from far away but all my sockets were intact so being a girl, I never thought the source could be the switch board, so I just kinda ignored. The next thing I know, lights are flickering, my sockets are not powering devices and I’m like uuummm WTH? When I look at my neighbors electricity, everything looks intact. And when it all finally gave in, and I was in pitch darkness, with no candles, thank God for the torch functionality in Nokia E63′s that was very thoughtful…lol. So as usual, I run to my land lord and they came to check wassup, my wires were melted, yeah the guy who connected the wires did some shoddy job….so I was wondering, what if I fried in the shower or something…tsk! Anyhow, that was sorted but it made me miss my dad so much, things that make me want to run back home.

Then comes the weekend, a carpenter with whom I had placed an order 3weeks ago is still giving me excuses as to why he cannot deliver…he started with “the wood is wet so I cannot varnish”, “we haven’t finished painting…please note that my seat is wood so, I doubt there’s any painting being done”, then the final stretch was where he makes me wait for him as he says he’s in traffic for a WHOLE DAY…and that’s the point where I cracked. You don’t mess up with people’s time. So he says he lied to me because I wanted to be lied to … really Mr. Capenter? Oh yeah, this week he went for a funeral…another excuse? So I’m still waiting, but I went and took something from his shop worth the deposit I paid, so that we exchange when he delivers *sigh*. Lesson learnt – Never pay deposit to a capenter, and buy what you see not what they promise to deliver. I’m thinking of how to punish him a bit when he brings the stuff *evil grin*

To add icing to the cake, the cake in this case being the previous weeks escapades, on Monday morning, I had planned how I’m gonna be the earliest to work … feeling all freshened up. So I wake up, prepare for the day and  I now want to head out, and the door would just not open … push, pull … nothing! It was stuck and there’s no way I was going to open it. Thank God for phones … or else, I don’t know! So I called my landlords kid and I’m like I’m stuck in the house, come help me out. That was just hilarious because she was as confused as I was, so she called the small brother who came and sorted me out. He basically removed hinges..bleh bleh bleh, and viola! Door open, then the fundi comes like  30mins later and he’d said he’ll be there in a moment because he was at the gate, then starts looking at the damage (there was no damage) or is it for the root of the problem with maswali mengi “too many questions”, so irritating!

Did you realize all my escapades fall back on fundi’s. The electrician, the carpenter and now the fixer (I don’t know what to call him…lol). They’re all such pathological liars … like really! If you have a good one keep them and recommend them to people like us. Speaking of which, it got me thinking that the man who marries me needs to be a Mr.Fix It … eeeh! even if it’s just pretending to fix stuff then later call the external parties to do the actual fixing.

I hope now my dramatic escapade phase is over because that was just like a streak of bad luck! But if they come, it should be fun and not stressing.

Have a Super Lovely and Drama Free Weekend!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*