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And You let Her Go

You know that grown up feeling that overcomes you for a moment. It’s like an epiphany of sorts and you see something in different light. Something that one point you actually believed that that’s how it should be done. However, given the chance to re-think again today, you’d be like “No, how now?”. Some thoughts or opinions you had before, if revisited can give you a mini heart-attack. I don’t think it’s growing up that caused the change of heart as I’d said at the beginning, but exposure and experience. And that could be why those two are important even as you seek for jobs. Experience and exposure help influence your opinion on certain things, and that’s why…

…opinions are only valid for the duration they’re shared. They could change as soon as you put the full stop.

Anyhow, this epiphany happened as I listened to a current song that I rather like; Passenger – Let her go. Sometimes I listen to songs because of the beats, but when I see myself slowly getting the lyrics in (because I can listen to a song a million times but the lyrics don’t get in, it’s a rare disease called #ijustcantcramlyrics lol), I start to think about what it the artist is trying to bring out. Yeah, I can sing along but maybe I’m chanting illuminati, just kidding, but you know what I mean.

So as I listened on and sang along, I thought “wait a minute, what’s this guys saying?”. Makes sense from the quote “when you love something, let it go, if it was meant to be, it’ll come back, if it doesn’t, it never loved you…” Now, that doesn’t make sense to me anymore, so let me tell you a little something about love, my kind of love. Not necessarily the lover kind of love, just general love. For your family, friends and things.

Clara

You know it when you get it, and you don’t have to let go to know that you have it. Love doesn’t need proof by leaving and seeing whether they’ll (or it’ll) come back. Love just needs a few actions that express what you feel and what the other persons feels for you. Love doesn’t have seasons. Love is not like weather, it’s a constant through out the seasons. Love makes those seasons bearable. What happens within the seasons are feelings. Feelings, which are always bound to change depending on the situation you’re met with. If it’s rainy and it’s muddy and wet, you’ll hate it and wish for the sun, then when the sun is too scotchy, you’ll wish for the cold.

Love like other things in life, have rules, mostly unwritten. A few written. If you read the bible, it makes it easier for you to break the code. That’s why you’d find friends becoming (fri)enemies because of overstepping a love rule. If you disrespect me, then how do we get along? If you don’t forgive me for my shortcomings, then how do you expect this relationship to work out? If you keep my record of wrongs and keep reiterating them, that’s really annoying, just let go and move on, if you’re jealous of my achievement then how do we help each other? If you’re impatient with me, then how do we grow and be there for each other through the highs and lows?

That’s love. Don’t let her go when you love her, keep her instead. Love is about forgiveness, working it out, growing, letting go of baggage and moving on and while at it, the one thing that should stay, is that thing or that person(s) you love. Stupid, would be listening to the quotes and lyrics and letting go to see if the said person or thing will come back, even butterflies don’t. They fly away and find other places where they’ll fit in.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Like a Big Book

Like a big book being read by different people, and as the chapters keep being flipped, that’s its life. Once it’s been placed on the shelf, the person interested in it, will eventually pull it out, it could take a day or years. It could be because they’ve heard it’s a nice book or because for some (un)apparent reason appeals to them. What someone does with it is up to them. The best thing about a book is that its content, once written, it doesn’t change. The story builds on, but what’s written stays. It’s our mind that chooses how to interpret the story.

Thank God It's Friday

Thank God It’s Friday

 

However, before people decide to take ownership of the book, they check it out, read the synopsis and decide whether it’s worth it. It’s like a first date, from the conversations, the looks, the connection, you evaluate and make a choice – to keep or to shelf. Should one decide to keep, some read and understand the core essence of the book and treasure it like it’s supposed to be, others try to read into it – they might not get it, but they at least they try to. For others, they read to the end but it just feels like a waste of time (boring story line perhaps or it didn’t turn out how you had anticipated), others peruse through the pages just to get to the end – sort of – I have the book, so I might as well read it whether I like or not, others don’t even get past the synopsis. They like the book but the time isn’t right for them to read it (or they’re just not feeling it at that time – ever happened to you?). You’ve been dying to read a book but when you get to the book store and read the synopsis you just don’t feel it.

When you pick the book and decide to keep it, people treat the book in different ways; others fold the ends *create doggy ears*, others tear off the pages, others write on them maybe to mark something that was of interest to them, others pen down their name because they now own the book (and they sure don’t share), you want a book, buy yours! (I have a friend or two who love their books to death and they’d rather buy you a book than give you theirs).

Life is just like a book. Just like a book, there are those people who will treasure you, there are those who will be there but not really there, there are those who will trash you, there are others who will want you all to themselves. It’s an interesting turn out. As a book on the shelf, you don’t know who will pick you or what journey you’ll take once you’re out of the shelf. But as a book, you can tell who’s treating you like you deserve to be treated, who’s mis-treating you, only you the book can tell. Unlike the book, you have a life and you can make a choice how someone interprets your story.

You can tell it, like you want it to be. Books can’t speak, you can. Books can’t express, you can. Books can’t feel, you can. Books can’t move, you can. You definitely have the upper hand. You probably won’t write your story as it’s already written (again, the bible says) but how you strive to live it, makes all the difference.

ION, Just to let you know that I’m still here, I have not disappeared into thin air. Trying to organize myself and figuring out my time, especially how to wake up early. I wold love to do the posts early in the morning doesn’t everyone, but yikes, waking up! My mind wants but my body will just never coöperate. Even when I don’t have any sleep, which is a very rare occurrence. Looking forward to an awesome weekend, besides having work tomorrow #YOLO

To more laughing, living and loving. Let your weekend be nothing short of interesting, blessings!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

While Away…

Grabs door handle, slowly pushes it open and peeks into the room engulfed in darkness as the poor squeaky door begs for some grease and constant use. Inside, cob webs hang pretty like chandeliers and boy aren’t the arachnids and insects having a field day. It’s a party up in there, until the pooper pops in with the a dusting broom *sneeze…cough*. Dem! That was one-hell-of-a mound of dust!

woman-opening-door

You know when you’ve been away for a while, but somehow you want that when you come back there’s someone home still waiting for you. This is me hoping that there’s someone still here. I hope you’ve been well though? Sometimes life is just too fast-paced or almost complicated that we are unable for one reason or another to just chill out and smell the coffee or jot down a post.

While away, I was thinking about ‘anonymity’ or ‘getting yourself out there’. There are times you want to be that person under the rock. Living in your own world the way you know best. No one is looking at you or up to you, no one wants to know what’s going on, you’re just as private as you get. You want to look at the world, but you don’t want to look back at you. That’s being anonymous. Then there are other times, you want to be that person standing on the same rock. You want people to see you for who you are, for them to know that you’re there, look up to you for your strengths, look for you even. That’s getting yourself out there.

We tend to think that either of the two actions are linked to your personality. Like if you’re the introvert, you’re most likely into being anonymous and if you’re the extrovert, you’re want to get yourself out there. Well, I think it’s more about how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking of yourself at a particular time or moment, more than it is someone’s personality which almost a constant. At least I tend to think that of myself. If it’s personality wise, then I am an in-between-er, with a little more extrovert traits than introvert traits – then again, nah, that sounds so serious.

I want to ‘get myself out there’ when I am confident in myself, who I am and what I do. I can comfortably say it without having doubts in what I am saying, because I can always back it up with my actions. I don’t mind someone complimenting me or looking up to me, because if I were them, I would also feel the same about me. It’s me on a high, with the “I can’t take up anything that comes my way, just bring it on” attitude. And it somehow translates to my mood as well, that’s the day I’m all chatty, smiley, splashed with colour, you know just out there.

It’s like a woman, a pretty woman to be precise (not that I say there are any ugly ones). You know women with make-up, we put it on to make us feel a little more beautiful. It enhances some of our features or conceals some others, basically it helps us flatter ourselves. When you compliment a woman’s look with her make-up on, if she believes in herself, she’ll be take in the compliment and it’ll make her feel better about herself – if she could, she would conquer the world. But when she doesn’t believe in herself, she’ll think you just complimented her because she has make-up on and not because she actually really looks the part – she’ll go back to the mirror to confirm what you just said or there’s a possibility of some lipstick stain on her tooth.

The times that I want to be anonymous, is when I’m just flatly unsure of myself, you know not sure what I’m up to or about  - lots of self-doubt, kinda like the woman who goes back to the mirror.  I want to crawl under that rock and stay there until I can figure myself out. I don’t want people to see me for what I’m not, or something I don’t want be. I don’t want someone to look up to me where I’m also not getting it right, I want to get it right first or be sure that I’m on the right course. Definitely me on my low, I just want to keep to myself and share the least possible with people.

For a moment there I was trying to be anonymous and it’s not working. I miss being here, and now I’m getting out there again. For the one – two compliments on the snippets, thank you! It definitely made me think it’s about time I just gathered my wits, changed the music I was listening to (same playlist for a couple of days, OK weeks, maybe that another way I deal with my kind of low) and go back to sharing my thoughts.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

If You Want To Feel Rich

You know the interesting thing about life? I also don’t. Ha ha kidding, I do. It’s that at the end of the day it’s about your endless dreams and how you can make them happen. It’s about those people you care about and how you want to see them happy. It’s about you and how you can achieve your happiest state. You work to achieve something, something that will make you feel complete, an absolute of sorts. The other day someone asked what can’t money buy? That’s a difficult question seeing as some of us haven’t experienced extreme richness to know what exactly it can’t buy. But with the much I have, I can say those things I am pretty sure it wouldn’t buy me.

You know those things that whether you have money or not, you can still experience them. It’s not money that determines whether you can or cannot get them. Digress, I remember in the course of my first job, I was confident enough that I deserved a raise and off I walked to my ex-bosses office to request for one. With full justification as to why I deserved an increase, we chat away. He’s the kind that could talk you out of what you want and convince you otherwise. So to say the least, I was fully armed. His office, the battle field. Everyone knew that. By all means I deserved a pay rise, so I was going to fight for it. As we chat, he goes like, “Mercy, you know if I decided to start paying you a million every month today you would go crazy”. Ha ha, joke right and I say, “I would be happy with that. Maybe we can try.” Then being the smart man,  he of course tells me the story of how he started out and how he got to where he is.  You learn to manage the little that you have as it’s added in progression, not just pap! Otherwise you won’t get a hold of yourself. I see he was doing my parents a favour, parenting me at work.

Oh boy, I was just seeing my plea go down the drain, somehow disappearing in the horizon as he went on and on. The he goes, “I will add for you this *small amount* first then we see how you do, and you can come back *after this duration of time* for a review”. Not what I had initially asked for, but at least it was something to get me going then. This always gets me looking back and thinking how it is I survived with that money, somehow I did, comfortably. Now back to those things, those ones that make you feel rich even when you’re not money rich, those ones that money cannot buy;

Happy Relationships

With God, with your family, with your spouse. You can’t buy their love or affection towards you and vice versa. Their willingness to do things for you and with you when you need them to, when you don’t need them to or when you least expect them to. The respect that you hold for each other. It’s a world of competition out there, so having this people cheer lead for you and be your front runners. That at the end of the day, you have people who can be held accountable for you and you for them, this is a blessing, not a purchase.

Good Health

It’s by the Grace of God that you’re healthy. That you can do things that other people only wish they could or that you have features that others wish they had, even if just for a day. They may look simple and easy for us, but it’s a blessing that we shouldn’t take for granted. Walking, eating, talking, sleeping, pooping, thinking, hearing, seeing among other things. That you’re not sick and bed ridden. You could have the money to go to the best doctors in the world, but not necessarily get healed. So thank your almighty for good health and long life.

Time … A Really Good Time

Money can enable you to go to the most beautiful and tranquil of places and do things that you’ve only dreamt of. But chances are that you might not even have a good time while at it. It happens. You think this place could give you absolute happiness even if for a moment, then it doesn’t. It probably even stresses you when you think how much you’re spending and what you’re going back to or it could be the company, not withstanding the luxury provided. It gets you whining to no end.

It’s all about having a good time, a great experience, a genuine smile on your face and hearty laughter, the kind that stems from your tummy. Ain’t it? You can have a good time wherever you choose to go or be, not necessarily in the islands or desserts or five star hotels whose décor and furnishings are out of this world. If you can’t afford that right now, you can afford a walk in the park … it’s free. I know I’m pushing it *because I want to go to those islands, desserts and five start hotels*, but a really good time knows no place and no amounts of money. You make it, with what you have.

True friends

There’s the family that’s given to you by virtue of being born into this world, and then there are those you personally choose, your true friends. Money can’t buy you these ones and if it does, the ‘true’ in the ‘true friends’ fizzles out. The love, trust and commitment you accord this ones with and vice versa is miraculous.

The brain and mind

Oh your mind. That there is one powerful object, in case you were searching for super powers. Very powerful, I’m even thinking when people say it’s the heart ‘a bullet to the heart‘, I think they mean the mind. The heart just pumps blood and enables the brain to get blood and oxygen for you to remain sane. It’s the mind that thinks, hurts, feels, cooks things up, makes assumptions, loves and so on. The mind leads you to believing what you want to believe and helps you make your choices, good or bad, whether you have money or not. It’s the source of great ideas and innovations that eventually lead you to making that money.

Money can’t buy you brains, but it can help you make up your mind, when you have them. So the brains came before the money, unless you’re a trust fund baby, lucky bustards … lol

rich

There’s no better way to look at it. This will give you so much peace especially in your mind and help you put some things into perspective. Sometimes we get so drained trying to get rich, that we die trying. Because we see riches as just having money and lots of it, but riches do come in other forms too. What are some of those things you have that money cannot buy?

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

The Fake Hiatus

Because technically it looks like I was in one but I really wasn’t. I was just a little lazy coupled with a series of blank moments. Oh boy, then I remember there’s blogging in my life, which happens almost all the time, but then I open a blank page and run out things to write or worse think I have lots to share only to start out and go, “nah, maybe I shouldn’t.” The title should have been a day in a bloggers life. We have so much to say, but then we have moments where you question yourself and what you are about to say. You start feeling like every-time you share something you’re exposing yourself.

Does it ever get to a time you just don’t feel like saying anything, you just want to go sit at the corner and see what’s going on around you and probably see if anyone will take notice? I remember it used to happen to me every once in a while when I was growing up maybe it still does just that I haven’t reviewed myself of late. I was the talkative one, but then it would reach a point I would want to take some time out, and consciously or subconsciously I would just retreat. It’s like I’m there but not really there, you know just be invisible for a moment. Maybe to see if there’s someone who cares enough to check up on me or give me stories as well. Such a tease, then of course chances are that no one really did and I get over my “fake hiatus” or “invisible” moment and  go back to my normal chatty self.

In this case, well, I was going through a phase and now I am back with a BANG! July was one hell-of-a cold month and it looks like it’s rubbing off on August already. August needs to shake that off, because my wardrobe and body can’t take it any more, I want the sun. Not the scorching kind though, just enough to keep me warm during the day and allow me not to over-layer clothes. Which is interesting because we human beings have our needs changing more often than baby diapers. One time we want the sun, then when it’s smack right in the middle of your forehead hot enough to fry an egg sunny side up, you want it to rain and when it rains cats and dogs with puddles all over, we want the cold, just the cold and now it’s cold, good grief, I want the sun.

It’s just like life. When you’re presented with one situation, you forget how the other one you were in used to be. And when the one you’re in doesn’t appeal to you as you anticipate(ed) it to, you want to get back to where you were before because you think it was better than what you’re experiencing now. In essence, you were probably looking forward to the situation you’re in just as eagerly. Life is  such a twist. With that, I think the reason God made seasons, is so that we learn to live with each of them.

Learn to persevere through the scorching sun and thunderstorms as well as be content when the suns comes out during the thunderstorm and the rain pops when the sun is scorching.

Other than the cold, I actually managed to try out a few things that I haven’t either done in a long time or just never done before this July, so it wasn’t boring either. At the end of the month when I look back, there’s a lot to smile about more than there is to frown about. Actually, I wouldn’t say there’s anything there is to frown about. God has been good to me, to us, I am more than grateful. Here goes;

Danielle Steel, Books, Good Reads

Gifted book mark by the parents I think during my very 1st graduation…I’ve graduated that many times. Love the message #TreasuredGifts

 A friend recommended the #3books30days challenge and I decided to take it on, easy *read difficult, very* as it sounds. I have done 2 books so far; Brida – Paulo Coelho and Danielle Steel – Big Girl, one more to go,  Lauren Weisberger - Devil Wears Prada ( really  looking forward to reading this one). I had kind of shelved my book (novel) reading because of school and the exhaustion it comes with but it’s like I am now getting my reading mojo back, slow but coming on.

Friends, Friendships, Hosting

The scarf is courtesy of FloEssentials (Facebook). Scarves are her thing, she ties them so effortlessly it’s amazing, while I struggled my way around with it.

Of friends discovered through other friends and turning out to be ah-mah-zing. You know those lose introductions that happen because the person I hang out with also used to hang out with her. Then a few years after, we somehow keep in touch and we decide you know what, maybe we should just link up and catch up. The world just leads you to the people who are meant to be close to you “the touch effect” and we decide to hang out and ta-daaaaa *if you’ve watched Crood you should relate* we’re just insync. They (my friend and the hubby) finally got us to do our first hosting, we feared at first (you think of all the things you don’t have, like serving dishes et al, you know the bachelor-bachelorette lifestyle) and they were the most comfortable and entertaining guests we’ve ever had *actually, the first*, now they don’t feel like guests any more. We ate, drunk, played scrabbled, poker and chatted the night away. They are officially our favorite couple friends, you know you’ve gotta have those. Grateful they found their way into our lives, or vise versa.

Nail Polish, Sunset

You see both rarely, that’s the relation. LOL. There could be no better way to describe me getting my nail polish groove on, but I did. I find it such work, you know the application process, the fanning of your hands for it to dry, the holding things delicately to avoid the much dreaded smudge. Oh but it definitely looks good on me as I type on my key board. I could literally type gibberish just to have a glance at my peach painted nails. I think that’s my motivation for now, let’s hope it lasts long enough to have me purchase a different color.

As for the sunset, I went to visit my folks on the weekend and on my walk I was engulfed by the beautiful view of the sunset. It even looked more beautiful when seeing it through that singled out tree. Picture perfect. If I had a Canon or Nikon camera, trust me this pic would have made it to Mutua Matheka’s wall paper Monday, but I didn’t.

So much more happened of course, but these were the ones I was able to capture, or do you want a novel? Nah. How was your July? Hoping it was great and you would have a thing or more to say about it. The best thing about today (very convenient that it’s 1st August), is that you know something you didn’t know yesterday. Better yet, is you are or will be able to do something you didn’t do yesterday or ever before. That’s the beauty of life, everyday gives you a chance to play it out a little or to a great extent differently from how you did it before. It’s very forgiving in that sense, it holds no grudges, only you do. Have yourself a blessed August.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

My Kind…

Of people. Those people you meet for the first time and you just gel in like you were meant to be.  All of a sudden it feels like you’ve known each other for a lifetime despite you being strangers not so long ago (seconds, hours, days). You have so much in common, so much more than you can comprehend. It gets surprising that most of the stories that you have and choose to narrate, somehow you relate because you’ve either been there done that or are doing it or  just because it makes so much sense to you. It’s almost inexplicable that even in things that you haven’t quite experienced and they have, you can still relate and sort of build a picture. You know the way you read a novel and think the writer had you in mind as they wrote. That kind.

Puzzle

There’s a void they fill no one else yet has. It’s like a puzzle, you know how each piece has its design and hole and there’s just one other piece that can be able to fill and fit its design and hole. These designs or holes could be one thing about us that this person needs in their life. Something that others can’t do as well as you would do in their life and somehow you’re just drawn to each other.

It’s funny how we could have a friend and we want to be everything to them or vice versa. Sometimes I’m being modest with words here, I don’t think it’s possible to be someone’s everything in as much as you would love to be. That’s why puzzles have pieces, and each piece has its function. Unless you really give yourself up and try to live someone else’s life, for you to be able to there for them in all capacities. There’s that one thing or few things that makes someone fit into your life, that piece. Something about their character or trait or ability, one that only suits a certain part of your puzzle which is your life. Then I thought of what “My Kind” is. At least 5 things that have drawn people to me:

Humour – You know those people who make you laugh, laugh and laugh again … despite the situation as it could vary from a not so bad situation to a very bad situation and there’s nothing much left to do. I think it’s what keeps most of us sane, if not all of us. Sometimes you need to laugh some situations away, you know where you narrowly escape due to the humor in your life. I mean, what would you do without some laughing? Or someone making sense of this life in a ‘not so serious’ way?

Non-Judgemental - You want someone who you’ll open up to candidly and they won’t look at you like “how could you” or “no, you just didn’t”. You want to just be you and have them accept you for who you are. Don’t we all look for that? Then if it’s something that needs some intervention or help, they can offer in whichever capacity they can.

Down to Earth – My other name was supposed to be simple, complex nags me, like you have no idea. So the moment I see complexity in a person, I want to take to my ‘heels’ (okay, flats since I’m rarely in heels…lol). I like people who don’t make other people’s lifes difficult. You work with what you have, bila ‘no’ pressure.

Realistic – “Head in the cloud, feet on ground” kind of people are my kind of people. Because then you’re sure that you can make whatever it is that you talk about happen sooner or later. Your ideas and opinions can help the current situation. These are the people who ground you when you’re busy flying away into the unknowns.

Self-Confident – Nothing says to me “good friend” than one who’s confident about themselves; who they are, what they do and what they want. Not bossy though, I can’t stand bossy, they get to my nerves. It basically means, you know yourself, you’re comfortable with yourself and you love yourself enough to accommodate someone else without feeling like you’re losing yourself or being a burden. You can help and motivate each other.

Maybe you could also look at what kind of people you get drawn to and why? That would be a good question to ask yourself for self-evaluation purposes. It was such a random one, this one. For me, it helps me understand the people who I call my friends a little better. You know the ones I have, the ones I once had and lost touch and the one’s I am gaining. Doesn’t make sense having so many people in your life and not knowing why they are there, ain’t it? That creates content for another post.

This one is my #ThrowBackThursday post. It’s taken me back yo! To you, you and you,  now have yourself an ah-mah-zing one won’t you? Your answer best have been a YES!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Crazy Lessons and a Little Bow

Last week, I had one interesting week. You know one that is full of lessons, not necessarily directed at me, but I think it kind of gave me the hints of how to handle life and what it brings along. Especially those things that I have control of. Basically, by the time I was closing in the week to start off a new one on Monday, I was feeling so refreshed and with a new source of energy, hope and desire to greet the new week with. Not because I had hit the jack pot … Gah! I wish I had wouldn’t mind me some extra dime, but because of the positive vibes that I happened to come across in my quest for fun times. Since a week is made up of 7 days, I’ll do the 7 main lessons I learnt.

7 crazy lessons

Lessons 1

Dream and dream big about whatever it is you’re passionate about. Don’t limit yourself in your dreams, go all out. Even when you think you’re being too ambitious, dreaming didn’t cost anyone a dime, or did it? I don’t mean the dreams that come when we’re asleep, like in your subconscious. This is the kind that you dream of consciously. Where your mind is active and travels faster than your eyes can see. Not only should you just dream, work towards making it happen. Say it out loud, share with someone because the principles of life are such that what you say becomes. I don’t know how that plays, but it does. Many have, I believe you also can.

Lesson 2

Sharing is caring, especially IDEAS. Socialize, network and share your ideas with your family, colleagues, friends and even strangers who feel confident enough to approach you and talk to you – beware of conmen though. It only gets more real when you share, plus these people, they broaden your idea, your vision and make it look clearer to you. Just in case you had any doubts in your ability to actualize this ideas, that’s what sharing does. It gives you confidence, because if you can say it, then share it, what makes it so hard in trying to actually do it, it becomes a challenge. Get my drift?

Lesson 3

Lack of resources should not deter you from chasing your dreams, because that’s our story, majority of us that is. We have to work hard to get the resources that will enable us to achieve our plans/goals. It could be a little disheartening which is normal for any human I suppose, but tell yourself good things, like how you’re a superstar no jokes. Give yourself psyche, keep trying and working hard even when all seems bleak. Someday you’ll look back and realize that it was not really about the resource but about your ability to lift yourself and work through a situation.

Lesson 4

Work with what is currently within your means, unless you’re Bill Gates. Know thyself, know what you have and what you don’t have. Then know how you can work with what you have and feel content as you work towards getting what you don’t have. I am pretty sure, actually I am very sure that we can’t have everything we want, but we’re not usually left in a “tumble-weeds, whistling wind and a lonely church-bell” kind of situation. Somehow, there’s always something we can cling on to, to turn around our situation and make it better. Life I tell you, when you really think about it, it’s hilarious.

Lesson 5

We all want to start life on the fast lane, don’t we? I could do with that seven figure salary already. But what we need to know is that it’s okay to start it small then build your empire while at it. That fast lane ain’t running away to anyone, it’s there for us to live it, but sometimes it has to take its own course. Starting small doesn’t mean that you’re any lesser than another person who probably is doing better than you are. It gives you an opportunity to work harder, learn to manage the little you have, to be able to appreciate every step of the way as well as figure yourself out before being overwhelmed by the life in the fast lane. If you think about it you’re lucky if you start small, embrace it while at it, but don’t get complacent, you have a dream to chase and conquer. If you got it all at first, would you really know how to appreciate or look back to see how far you’ve come? It could get boring actually.

Lesson 6

A wedding is not a marriage. A wedding is a day, a BIG day in your life though. A day you make a commitment to that person you want to spend your life with. As that commitment is being made, it should be made in happiness, not in regret, pain or struggle. As you plan and organize for that day, you know yourself and your partner and the positions that you’re in i.e. financially. It’s not about what your friends want or expect your day to be but about how you want it to be. If they love you, they’ll be by you and help you achieve your plans. Plan it with that in mind to ensure that both your sane not insane desires are met. So that the wedding can be the start of a happy marriage. This one lesson revived our hope for weddings.

Lesson 7

Last but not least, “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication” - Leonardo da Vinci. It simply shows that being simple isn’t banal, it’s elegant, especially on people. It looks good on you. I respect people who have the ability to lead a complex life, but chose to have it simple in the way the live and deal. I find simple so admirable, sexy, humble and something I can live with, any time. It’s one perspective I find appealing to mind because with simplicity there’s so much beauty and happiness without unnecessary pressure. Plus it just simply cuts across all.

Feel free to also share a lesson you’ve learnt over time or one that you think someone will learn from you. Then with that, have a fabulous week full of laughter and blessings, it only goes uphill from there.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

The Fresh Perspective

When you go through a certain situation, good or bad, there’s a way that everyone who is something in your life has something to say about that situation. Some see it like, ‘there’s a reason why things happen’, ‘there’s something better in store for you’, ‘you’re totally screwed’, , ‘you’re so lucky’, ‘you totally deserved it’, ‘I’m so happy for you’, ‘let’s work this one this out’, ‘you won’t be a able to’, ‘you will make it through’, ‘don’t worry, it’ll be okay’ … most of the time the reactions are completely different, they come in all forms positive, negative, encouraging, supportive, dismissing, concerned and helpful ones. Don’t we always want people to be leaning towards the positive reactions, you know agree with what we say or do, offer assistance and so on? I do.

Fresh_Perspective

However, besides having other people responding to your situations, there’s the way you also see it. It could be a situation where you want others to react positively to, but whether or not people give their opinions about it at the end, it’s about what you think about it yourself. How you view it, your perception of it. Good things could be happening to you, but you fail to realize because you wanted more or you were really interested in other things besides the good that’s happening to you. Such that your perception of that good thing seems not so good after all. For example, you could have gotten a good job, with a good pay so to say, but when you evaluate you see that money won’t be enough to handle your bills and it gets downhill from there. Instead of you being thankful that you have a good job and you’re getting some good experience and exposure; and you are able to put a roof over your head and food on the table, you think how bad it is that you don’t have extra for vacays, outings or for expensive clothes and shoes. Been there, done that. Forgetting that I am favoured to have a great job or there’s much more to look forward to than the simple pleasures that money can buy.

It could also be something bad that has happened to you *God forbid* and we have every right to have negative reactions. Feel bad for ourselves and wonder why it happened to us, not thinking if it didn’t happen to us it could probably be happening to someone else, and they would also feel as bad as you are. It’s good to feel bad, but then how we take it up from our feelings, is what determines the outcome. You could look at it from the point of; Why? You’re totally crushed! You just don’t know what to do next! Your world has come to an end. On the other hand, you could look at it as an opportunity to work harder, to do it differently so that you don’t get the same results again or if it’s something that’s beyond of your control, know that for everything that happens there is an inherent reason why that you don’t necessarily have to know (that sucks though). I am one of those firm believers that God has it all planned especially for those negative things that happen to us in as much as I would never want anything bad to happen to me and my loved ones, but again it’s out of our control. It could be losing someone or something, accidents, heart-breaks, diseases, failures, disappointments and so on. Since it’s merely out of your control, look  for people who will support you, give you hope, have faith in you. Last but not least, believe in God and depend on him for things to get better for you. There are some things that don’t make sense, never will, and the more you dwell on get answers to them, the more it becomes frustrating.

Perspective is everything. It’s your outlook of life, how you choose to see things, even when you’d rather be blind to them. It’s not about eye-sight though, it’s mind-sight. Sometimes your mind can see things that your eyes have not yet seen. And if you can dream it, think it, then at some point I am pretty sure you will actually get to see it … literally! All the best in your endeavours.

Special shout out to my mum who just started running a clinic. After many years of working for and with organisations, helping others start their dreams, she resigned to follow her own dream of having her own clinic. I know it’s not easy but I totally love your fresh perspective on it. We can’t see it physically now, but your mind has and I believe that what you see will come to be. Plus I’ll support you all through in whichever way I can and make every effort even when I feel I can’t.

Perspective

How’s July coming along? Yet to update you on last month. It was an awesome one by all means.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

#overlycool

Relationships are not a walk in the park. You know the kind that you’re used to every other day,  your easy walk, where you know all the cool spots, where you will stop, have a chit-chat, laugh, walk, run do your thing and it makes you have that warm fuzzy feeling because it’s your regular dose. No, no, relationships are not that walk in the park. I would say, it’s more of a trip to the jungle. In a jungle you’ve never been to. It’s a first of its kind.

Big Foot. Small Foot.

Big Foot. Small Foot.

Imagine the thoughts that run through your mind when you’re told that you need to start preparing yourself for a trip to the jungle. I know right. Personally this is what would run through my mind; What do you carry with you, what do you leave behind, what are you going to find there, what will the trip do to you, will you have fun, will you have really scary moments like when you have to face lions, bears, snakes and all those scary animals you could think of that would be found in the jungle, will you find the happy place, like the meadow, where you can watch the beautiful scenery of the jungle, where the animals meet to drink water, where there lake meets the sky and the sun sets in the beautiful horizon.

That’s what a relationship is. You just don’t know what to expect, good things, bad things, confusing things. You are allowed to prepare yourself mentally when you’re getting into one, you can make all these arrangements. Like have a list of qualities you want your significant other to have, what you want your relationship to be like, what you don’t want it to be like. Then you get into it, and you want to apply all this plans you had. Like the jungle, some will work, others just won’t. Sometimes you have to deal with situations as they are, not based on what your plans were, but look at the situation and make judgement there and then. If you wait to ask around or start looking back at your “guide-book” you’ll  miss the point. That’s what relationships bring to the table.

The jungle that is the relationship could be where you find yourself. Where you find what it is that creeps or pisses the hell-out-of you and what it is that makes you happy and content with your current situation. Through this jungle, despite it not being a simple, predictable and a not so smooth journey, you find out whether your partner is the person who you want to experience all these confusions with. The confusion that is the creepiness and the beauty the jungle holds. In life, we all want to be loved, to be happy but we can never do that alone, unfortunately. Humans were created to want and need, to love, to hate, to be scared and all other related things. We have family and friends, but I don’t know how God did this, how he made us to want to have just that one main person. That one person that you connect with in a way that’s different from how you connect with your friends and family. That’s what is overly cool. How far you’d  go to make sure that you make it through the jungle with this other person. It’s in the sacrifices, the compromises, the thoughts, the expectations, the laughter, the tears, the sharing, the loving and the caring. That’s my overly cool. What’s yours?

overlycool

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Unwelcome Questions

It’s crazy how the world rotates around us, but we barely notice. Not the scientific or geographic kind of rotate, but the fact that it’s all about us, the people that inhabit this rather round planet earth. Then it points down to each and every individual. Each person is their own person. We all have a purpose, that thing that we are meant to work out or contribute towards here on earth. It doesn’t matter who you are, what you do, or you want to be or want to have, there’s that inherent reason you are here.

We try to look for our relevance in every place, be it at home, school, work, among our friends. You want to be needed, to be accommodated and to be relevant. The big problems come in while we try to have all this figured out. It’s easy for some, or so it seems, but extremely difficult for others. Others even never find their purpose in life. Others don’t even know themselves. Ever gone to a place and the questions you’re asked are in the lines of:

Who are you?  What do you do? What do you want?

Questions

Aren’t these the most unwelcome questions. They leave you wondering what answer you should give. Assuming that you have an answer, because most people stare blankly wondering whether to begin with when I was born or when you started schooling or your experience, you wonder whether it will be satisfactory to the recipient  Does it do you justice and represent you for who you really are. With those 3 questions, someone narrows down to what your entire life is about. Based on what you say, they could put you off or want to be associated with you. Ever wondered why these questions always feature in the critical area of “basic information”, whether it’s in interviews, social media bio’s and so on. It’s like that’s the basic information about yourself you should have. To the very least you should know who you are.

Funny thing is that life situation can lead you to a path that makes it difficult to describe who you are, what you do and what you want. Maybe because you’re not confident enough about your abilities. Or whatever you do is not really defined so you can pin point it or you just can’t figure out what you want, because there so much. Most of what we want is not necessary actually, if you think about it. Like I want a chopper to beat traffic, but do I really need it? Of what value will it add to my life? Sometimes when you answer this questions, you feel like the answers you have given don’t give you justice. Like when someone sees a picture of you, then when they eventually meet you they tell you, “you look much better in person, the pictures don’t do you justice.”

You wish that the people got to know you first before judging you by what you say about yourself. Truth be told, most of us don’t do ourself justice when telling others about ourselves. Maybe that’s why we lose out on good jobs, great opportunities and so on. Unfortunately, the world ain’t patient or that kind to you, so one has to figure how to get these “unwelcome questions” right. I think the trick to answering them is loving YOUrself, loving what YOU do (it doesn’t have to be what you are at work, it could even be what you enjoy doing or what you’re really good at). For instance just because you are a sales man and you don’t like what you do, that doesn’t define you. You define yourself. You could be a sales man who writes really well or who loves public speaking. How do you go about saying who you are when you have varied statuses? Go for what fulfils your heart and own it. You get better at it with time. It leads you to knowing what you want and then you chase it. When you get it, you will be able to even say who you are and what you do much better. You can even write a biography of yourself *wink*. I’m pretty sure Steve Jobs didn’t find himself in a day, it took time, to make him the refined person he was, for him to find his niche and his purpose. It’s like the food chain (remember primary school science class), one stage feeds the other stage. It’s a cycle.

At the end of the day, it’s about doing some really good work with what you’ve got. Ain’t it? And sometimes, all you’ve got is YOU! So how about YOU love what YOU are involved in because the world rotates around YOU!

what you do

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*