A Rainbow State of Mind

I saw the rainbow and it got me really excited. I always miss out on this opportunity. It reminded me of the rainbow story. You know the one with the golden pot at the end of the rainbow. I believe it, don’t judge now. We just need to figure where the end is, because I need to be there. It’s the colors that get me, the yellow & orange and how they stand out but still blend in with the rest. I don’t know how God did it, but he sure did it good. Of nature and its coolness. Just when I was about to appreciate it of course through a photo (which I would have posted on Instagram), I couldn’t get a clear shot. Then it slowly faded away and bam! No more rainbow. My life went back to normal. Not that normal is not exciting (maybe not so, just a wee bit), but there was that “return to normal state” feeling.

The state of the mind, very powerful. How one moment you can be excited because of the pomp and color in your life and the next minute you’re torn down because of the gloom & dullness in your life. It’s a rat-trap. The only thing that remains constant is you, your mind will always play tricks. Like the weather, one time it’s warm and sunny, then all over sudden it’s cold and rainy. Amidst all that confusion, the rainbow smiles at you with so much color it makes you indifferent to what’s actually happening. For a moment, you forget whether it was sunny or rainy, because the rainbow distracts you. That could be the trick.


Know when to let out your rainbow, when you’re caught in between the two worlds. I know we’re human and it’s almost impossible to control your state of mind, but if the weather can do it, sure we can too. Your rainbow would be that thing that makes your insides smile even when your outside isn’t cooperating. Find it.

Happy Friday Lovelies. Lots of rainbows your way today and always!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

One Person … Many Faces

Ever wondered why we would all have different perspectives of the same person? Like I would say, person x is so nice, sweet, funny, awesome *insert adjective* and another would say a complete opposite thing about the same person x, say something like they are snobbish, rude, mean…yeah all those things you’d prefer not to be. This is purely based on first impression.

Do you think people are actually what we make them?  Sometimes we are the ones who play a role in which character a person will exude. Right from the way we approach them to the way we treat them and what we expect in return. I tend to think that we all have the good and evil, more like a duality kind of thing. That we are made in such a way to accommodate the people who walk into the different aspects of our lives. And the face says it all, you can know what I think of you from the look you get when you approach me.

It’s like your face is your guard. Given certain circumstances, you can choose to keep your guard up, down or better yet wear a mask. When you are comfortable then you have your guard down, no masks (unless you want to pretend that all is good) and that’s when you’re your warmest … you’re pleasing to the people around you. When you’re uncomfortable you have your guard up and you’re at your coldest, remember Ally McBeal, that’s when you want to unleash all your hell’y faces, you basically just don’t care and the people around, high chances is that they won’t like you.

Truth be told we all have those moments. What even made me think of this, is the levels to which people drive you to. Someone can make you beyond happy and in a split second another person can just ruin your entire day. It’s just amazing how we have different faces for the different scenarios.

Point in case : Imagine these people walking towards you and the face you will pull out, because you’ve got so many under your sleeve…

  • A street boy … dirty looking, sniffing glue and it looks like he’s holding something that could plaster your face.
  • Your long lost friend
  • Your mum or dad, as you walk hand in hand with that boy that they don’t know is your boyfriend
  • A cute chubby kiddo
  • Eye-candy, you know those people you can take a second or two to analyse … lol
  • Your boss, when you’re apparently supposed to be in the office
  • A stranger who’s smiling at you *_*
  • A guy who owes you something or vice versa
  • A guy who pisses the hell-out-of you
  • A familiar ‘acquaintance’

LOL, I know right! When you think about it now it’s pretty hilarious, and now I relate to Ally McBeal after all these years, some faces you can’t really show (they just ran in your head, that’s good enough especially if you’re trying to save face), but given the chance. Funny how, the face you show at that particular time describes the kind of person you are.

Because the mask is your face, the face is a mask, so I’m thinking of the face as a mask because of the way I see faces is coming from an African vision of the mask which is the thing that we carry around with us, it is our presentation, it’s our front, it’s our face ~ Faith Ringgol

But all is not lost, they are those who just accept you just the way you are … lol

So while I was away on “leave” I hope you missed me and all haha … I wonder what you’ve been up to and how the new year is treating you so far? May be I will say what I think of the year sometime.

Signing Off ~~~ Kawi*

Smurfully Grateful

Who would have ever thought? I am so excited, I know this is small but I just got to 100,000 hits. You know it amazes me that there’s someone out there who reads my blog … yeah blah blah blah *I can read your mind you know* … I know I have said this over and over again, yeah, sometimes I need to do that for it to actually check in, more like pinch me to know its real kind of thing. Yes, I think about it, I feel lousy when I don’t put up something because of how much I visit other people’s blogs with so much psyche only to find they haven’t posted something … So what are the chances that there’s someone who feels the same about mine.

Then sometimes I wonder if what I write is really worth reading. So much for not believing in myself. Oh my I am so over the roof right now … literally. I am on Flu Gone (meds to eliminate thee flu I’ve got) and it makes me have that floaty feeling, like I’m high and stuff is just flowing from my mind through my heart and to my fingers.

For being able to scream out to the world through my lil’ stupendous blog … it’s actually brought me further than I thought. So for those who threw the seed into fertile land, thank you. At least the seed didn’t let you down, it keeps growing and growing. For those who keep watering the growing plant with random comments, corrections, compliments, thank you. For those who see the plant growing, but don’t understand what the plant is, thanks you for taking some time to try understand. At some point the plant will become a tree and bear fruits and then you will understand what tree is supposed to be. Even the plant does get confused sometimes, it gives very many mixed signals.

There’s no better way to appreciate, I wish I could buy 100,000 sweets and share, but seeing as this is very virtual, thank God … *throws some virtual sweets into the air*. I hope that makes you smile, even when you had nothing else to smile about. If you don’t and you reached this part, you must be faking it. Yes?

Have a smurful day *wink* and God bless you and me much. For me to write more and for you to read and get refreshed and an Amen to that!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*


Going round in circles

Looks like now the habit has rubbed in a good one. The one of procrastinating. How I say I’m going to do something tomorrow … and this tomorrow ends up a rumor. I’ve been saying I want to write a post but nothing! I find myself doing other things such as watching irrelevant movies which by the way, I now want to stop. This guys for 50 bob movies should just be banned…lol, ok touch wood! I don’t mean that, I don’t want them losing business, but really, they are the reason I procrastinate every evening.

So anyhow seeing as I haven’t blogged since the new year started. I’m not as enthusiastic with the new year as I thought I was. It’s just started at a bad note. It’s only 14th and I feel like it just needs to end. Again maybe not … now that my colleagues were talking about all this Illuminati stuff in the office that just made me see how the world is ending next year…lol I still don’t believe in that *$#% but gosh! They had their facts straight, years calculated with supporting documents and you tube videos. So somehow this year has to be the best somehow. Just in case…I still haven’t fallen prey to the Illuminati…so we shall live on :)

To that effect, maybe I should just probably start being a bit care free and start enjoying this year before it’s too late. As in it’s only 14th of January 2010. I’m I the only one feeling like it’s a drag? Yeah I have many things I’m supposed to have done but uuuummm, deadlines and all and at a particular time I’m pretty sure I’ll be praying for the days to be as draggy as possible. Like for instance…how last year ended so fast.

Until now i’m still going round in circles … haven’t yet figured my year out … yikes! But I’m not that bad off, at least I’m still sane and probably not off the track. As I still adapt to writing the date as 2011….lol, I’m sure by the time that reaches I’ll be sorted out. Otherwise, (that being a very peculiar Kenyan habit to say that, when you have nothing much to say), I hope you’ll have had a good start of the year … at least way better than mine. If not, take heart, we haven’t lost much into the year…just like 14 days…hoping that’s enough consolation.

Now as I gather psyche … my posts will have more meaning next time, unlike this very random one that I just had to write. I had the urge to write about nothing in particular…so if you reach here and think ummm so what exactly was the post about … I have also asked myself the same question after finishing to write.


“Things will happen in your life that you can’t stop, but that’s no reason to shut out the world. There’s a purpose for the good and for the bad.”  ~ “Crazy Pete” Sims (Walter Sparrow)

“If you can’t laugh, the days are just too long.”  ~ Lauren Anderson

“Consult not your fears but your hopes and dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what is still possible for you to do.”  ~ Pope John XXIII

Signing Off  ~~~ *Kawi*

The Mysteries of Creation *One of Them*

My Father and Mother — First off , I always wonder how God chose them for me ? How he decided that this two shall be the ones to get me to this earth? That they are going to be my parents and that they’ll love me the way they do. That to me, defines mystery.

Like the Seven now Eight Wonders of the world, I would say Parents love is one of the Mysteries of Creation…Like really. Whoever came up with this scroll (credits to them) speaks my heart. I couldn’t say it any better.

To be honest, I always wonder what’s the best way to say “Thank You” to my folks. I have tried so many things:

Buy many gifts on their birthdays,

Promise them that when I get money i’ll buy them all the nice things they want.

Be that lovely daughter – Be home early, not argue, listen to them, be responsive, best performance in school….bleh bleh bleh

Of course it doesn’t happen like that all the time. There are times we are at complete logger-heads. They get mad at me and I at them. We all have different opinions for a certain situation and no one wants to hear or do what the other has to say …. sometimes stay silent at each other, or be a bit rude even when you know quite well you are doing the wrong thing.

I’ve come to learn that no matter the status of your relationship with the parents, they will always Love you. It doesn’t really matter what you do. The most amazing thing, is that Parents Love to me is synonymous i’ve been using this word a lot lately to Undying Love. At this point I know that those two *mum and dad* would be there for me no matter what…literally through Thick and Thin.

The only way to show my thanks is I bet by just loving them back…as much as it’s automatic…but also be there for them all the time, whether they need me or not. Chances are that … actually they won’t even read my post but I do love them with every breath in me.

Material things to them  are sometimes equivalent to nothing and loving them is everything to them.

They are the people who are genuinely happy for you when things are going well, and praying hard for you when things are going downhill. They always want what is best for you, and will do anything to ensure that you’re loved, happy and protected.

PS: Something quite dumb!

I usually believe that my mothers prayers are always heard by God, in that if I really want something, I will always let her be in the know because chances are that her prayers will reach before mine and are answered ASAP!… lol


Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*


Liar Liar *Pants on Fire*

When we were once young, lying was a big thing thanks to all this fables that when you lie your nose will grow long *Pinocchio style* or all the other kids will scream at as with phrases such as “Liar Liar Pants On Fire”— and at that stage you don’t want to be the laughing-stock of other kids while they haul at you names like cheater and so on.

Our lies used to be so obvious…because we all wanted to look more powerful or more prestigious that the others. Normally the lies would be about:

The household items you have like a kid would go like “Us guys have a bigger T.V than yours, or my dad bought a Play Station but they’ve locked it in their room”

How powerful your folks are. For example, my dad has a Gun

Fake relations for example where you tell your friends that your cousin is your brother.

And other kids always wanted to verify whether this information you are giving them is actually true. I mean if they come to your house, they want to see all those things you were telling them about and if they actually exist or not. I can recall some kids in Primary School who used to lie big time.

Now we are all grown up. And you’d think habits such as lying would  be dropped. Ha! Shocker. People have actually established a career in Cheating, Lying — Con men, Spouses those are just but a few. But at the moment I’ll leave Con-men out of the picture because those people piss the shit out of me.

So as usual, on my way to work, the matatus rather force me to listen to the one and only Classic FM’s Breakfast show with Maina Kageni (my best radio personality by the way) and King’ang’i as they are discussing about Lying spouses. Men who lie and Women who lie.

And I’m not talking about Cheating spouses here, it’s lying {get the difference}…cheating would be where one has other girlfriends or boyfriends on the side but lying on the other hand is the kind we used to tell when we were kids, just that now it’s on an a more serious and upgraded level.

A person will practically lie about their life in order to get the attention of the opposite sex. Like as in the radio, a man proudly calls saying how he lied his way to marriage because he thought that the girl would otherwise not accept him for who he actually was and had.

According to the conversation, which lasted a few minutes. The man said from the first day  he lied to the girl {who according to him was from “the up-town” and could not interact with him if she knew his actual situation} So he lied about his career, the car he drives and how he lives in a big mansion, and has a lot of money…yeah the normal lies we would tell as kids just that at this point you start living the lie…the guy would use his friends cars and houses as a proof to his lies. Until when the girl got hitched.

A lie never lasts for so long, eventually it squeezes its way out and identifies itself as a lie…I mean he wasn’t going to take the girl in the mansions forever, or keeping borrowing money to take her for expensive dates…so he had to now own up and state his belongings and who he actually is…lol would’ve loved to see the look on the girls face.

Then as I thought about, I was like what would I do if that happened to me? Of course my first thought would be “Run back to daddy’s house”…but really??? How do you live with such a person after that, maybe then all the other emotional things they told you were a lie as well…you know how things always link up and form a long chain.

And then just after this, this is the quote I come across, “A man who will not lie to a woman has very little consideration for her feelings” How now? *SIGH*

Anyway, just like men lie, women do as well. I hear men complaining about all the make up and fake additionals such as weaves, fake behinds, wonder bras, acrylics only for them to find out that the person they actually got attracted to is just but a fixation and they feel lied to…those are just but a few.

Well clearly according to research, lies will always exist…Home, Work, School. Sometimes you have to lie to save yourself from entering the fire while you are already in the the frying pan. I usually call those small lies, because they last for that moment and you rectify then ASAP. for example if you haven’t met the deadline and you pull an excuse just to cover up for that moment…yeah and they have to be SMART lies, else you’ll be caught pants down.

Although there are some which are overrated, like lying to your spouse, I wouldn’t choose to be with someone who I find myself lying to every now and then, that means your life would be miserable, because the lie has to be in continuous pros…lol you have to remember what it is you said about something, so that you can add another lie to the lie. #ifyouknowwhatimean


Whats better, A lie that draws a smile or Truth that draws a tear?

Signing Off *Kawi*


Someone once said “a problem stated is a problem half solved” , there’s also “a problem shared is a problem half solved “

Am the kind of person who when having a problem, I would like to first find a solution then after solving it, I can now share. I know there are many like me. Like to keep stuff to yourself.

Well, lately I realized that the problem you are going through, is not so special, there are so many other people going through the same thing. Sometimes you don’t even know what exactly the problem is but by telling it to someone, you sort of get a clear picture of it. It’s like a project where you do “statement of the problem” …. This is critical even in everyday life.

Anyhow why I say that stating and sharing a problem with a trusted one, it could be indirectly i.e. you say it like a story is because I tend to think that it’s like therapy in a way. Releasing a burden that you had been carrying alone to others. (again this could be done indirectly). The people you share with, could have experienced it as well and they can contribute on various ways to help solve it. In the long run it always ends up being something hilarious, because you can’t imagine how you have suffered for so long while someone else has solutions at their finger tips… or means to get to the solution.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean that one is always going to air their dirty linen in public … plus don’t go sharing with any Tom, Dick and Harry … There are those things that solving alone can be cumbersome … like a business Idea, financial crisis, r/ship issue(could be marital) — bleh bleh bleh, trying to say friends can be quite therapists in a not so direct way :)
Signing off *Kawi*