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When Impressing Becomes Depressing

I get inspired by songs, who doesn’t? I’m the kind of person who loves a song first because of the beat – upbeat, slow-paced, dance-able, catchy tune, gets me distracted, gets my current mood, I can hum along (I never remember lyrics, so I don’t bother, I just hum away or catch up on the bridge) – but even more because of the lyrics (just because I don’t remember, doesn’t mean I don’t listen to them – with a very keen ear by the way). If the lyrics makes so much sense, that artiste wins my heart. I’m that easy to please.

Colbie Caillat, is just but one of the reasons I love country music. I’m more modern than I think I am, at least based on the kind of country music I like. If I gave my mum to listen to her jams, she’ll be like, “that doesn’t sound like country”. Her country is the Kenny Rogers kind.

As I listen to her song “Try”, it speaks ear loads to me and what I see around. So many times, we want to be seen as who we’re not just to please others. You know the “fake it till you make it” kind of thought process. For example, someone gave this example a few years back explaining it, which I found too hilarious. Your dream car is a Mercedes and you can’t wait to make it (of course financially) so that you can get one. But your current state is that you don’t have a car or well, even better, you drive say a Toyota (I don’t why this one would make you feel any lesser than the person who drives a Mercedes). This thought process is such that you carry a Mercedes-Benz key holder with your Toyota keys or with your “imaginary car” keys so that the people you interact with can think you drive a Mercedes. Apparently, they say the faking it is a declaration that enables you to eventually achieve your dream – or pressures you to go get it. There’s some truth that rings to it, I mean you’re being aggressive and declaring your wealth…Amen! But why not be aggressive while accepting the stages of life you’re in – it’s a growth curve.

Why fake it? So that you can impress someone? So that someone can like you better? For some reason, we feel like we have to be some type of way or act some type of way so that someone (funny, it’s mostly people who don’t give a damn about you) can like you. And if we’re not their type of way, we feel the need to go around doing things that can get us to be their type of way or have them validate us. And while at it, we lose ourselves, because we become someone we’re not. Someone who’s driven not by their own passion or desires, but by what they want to prove to others they are, while they are not.

I think the saddest thing would be losing yourself by trying so hard to be whom you’re not, that being who you are or who you’re supposed to be, becomes a mammoth challenge.

It’s a complicated world already even when you’re yourself, so why complicate it further, by trying not to be yourself? Funny that those people we try to impress have their battles too. They may not show it, but they do.  Battles that we don’t even know about, but we feel like when we get their validation, life will be better. Life feels better when you do you, and are good at it – it gives you contentment, a sense of satisfaction even when you have not achieved all that you’d love to achieve just yet.

I usually say this jokingly but I always mean it, “If I don’t have it, I don’t have it. That doesn’t incapacitate me, I’ll work towards it. If I have it, good for me. On to chasing my next dream, because dreams never die.”

Also something about dreams – I imagine that my dream will never be someone else’s dream – you can share goals but not dreams. Even if we all dream to be presidents (whether of the country or a corporation), chances are that we dream of doing it differently and we will do it differently. I’m pretty sure when God made our finger prints different, he made our thought processes just as different too.

Just be you, it might not impress everyone, but it’ll definitely impress someone without making you step out of your skin.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

And You let Her Go

You know that grown up feeling that overcomes you for a moment. It’s like an epiphany of sorts and you see something in different light. Something that one point you actually believed that that’s how it should be done. However, given the chance to re-think again today, you’d be like “No, how now?”. Some thoughts or opinions you had before, if revisited can give you a mini heart-attack. I don’t think it’s growing up that caused the change of heart as I’d said at the beginning, but exposure and experience. And that could be why those two are important even as you seek for jobs. Experience and exposure help influence your opinion on certain things, and that’s why…

…opinions are only valid for the duration they’re shared. They could change as soon as you put the full stop.

Anyhow, this epiphany happened as I listened to a current song that I rather like; Passenger – Let her go. Sometimes I listen to songs because of the beats, but when I see myself slowly getting the lyrics in (because I can listen to a song a million times but the lyrics don’t get in, it’s a rare disease called #ijustcantcramlyrics lol), I start to think about what it the artist is trying to bring out. Yeah, I can sing along but maybe I’m chanting illuminati, just kidding, but you know what I mean.

So as I listened on and sang along, I thought “wait a minute, what’s this guys saying?”. Makes sense from the quote “when you love something, let it go, if it was meant to be, it’ll come back, if it doesn’t, it never loved you…” Now, that doesn’t make sense to me anymore, so let me tell you a little something about love, my kind of love. Not necessarily the lover kind of love, just general love. For your family, friends and things.

Clara

You know it when you get it, and you don’t have to let go to know that you have it. Love doesn’t need proof by leaving and seeing whether they’ll (or it’ll) come back. Love just needs a few actions that express what you feel and what the other persons feels for you. Love doesn’t have seasons. Love is not like weather, it’s a constant through out the seasons. Love makes those seasons bearable. What happens within the seasons are feelings. Feelings, which are always bound to change depending on the situation you’re met with. If it’s rainy and it’s muddy and wet, you’ll hate it and wish for the sun, then when the sun is too scotchy, you’ll wish for the cold.

Love like other things in life, have rules, mostly unwritten. A few written. If you read the bible, it makes it easier for you to break the code. That’s why you’d find friends becoming (fri)enemies because of overstepping a love rule. If you disrespect me, then how do we get along? If you don’t forgive me for my shortcomings, then how do you expect this relationship to work out? If you keep my record of wrongs and keep reiterating them, that’s really annoying, just let go and move on, if you’re jealous of my achievement then how do we help each other? If you’re impatient with me, then how do we grow and be there for each other through the highs and lows?

That’s love. Don’t let her go when you love her, keep her instead. Love is about forgiveness, working it out, growing, letting go of baggage and moving on and while at it, the one thing that should stay, is that thing or that person(s) you love. Stupid, would be listening to the quotes and lyrics and letting go to see if the said person or thing will come back, even butterflies don’t. They fly away and find other places where they’ll fit in.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Upcoming Event: ZIADA Nairobi

I don’t mean to brag, but the one of the female vocalists (Rosie) for Adawnage Band happens to be my desk-mate at work. Yes, I know, I know direct access, you can pass all the messages, like how you’re a big fan and I’ll make sure they reach. Yes, I get the chance to ask her to do for me the start part for Uwezo…uwezo, yes, she can randomly pull those notes comfortably without the, “listen to the words and not the voice” excuses. Now if only that ability to sing could just rub off on me. You know what I mean, I would definitely do a vlog. But it’s not yet happened so I remain a cheerleader.

ZIADA

 A Swahili word meaning to ‘increase or have in abundance’, is a series of revolutionary musical events organized by award-winning Christian musicians, Adawnage and Zidi The Band. While Adawnage and Zidi the Band exist separately as fully-ledged units with outstanding female & male vocalists, instrumentalists and support teams, their paths often intertwine. With similar objectives and vision, they have come together to form ZIADA (a compressed version of the bands’ names) to achieve much more impact together.

ZIADA is committed to changing lives and perceptions. Literally. They’ve lined up brilliant works of photography on the beauty of our country captured by talented, professional and widely celebrated photographers. The photo exhibition will precede the musical event. This event is dubbed to create  a relevant and socially conscious music experience that connects impresses upon the 25-year-old adult to play their part in promoting peace in their circles.

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ZIADA NAIROBI: PEACE EDITION

Nairobi town will get to experience the joyful sounds of hope on December 12, 2012 at the Parklands Baptist Church from 3PM from ZIADA. The event will take on a PEACE theme with the hope of uniting the public ahead of the polls next year. Featuring strong leads and additional home-grown artistes such as the amazing Mercy Wairegi, Nasara the poet, Carlisto and Makena. The worship experience is set to be one whose impact will linger on long after the date.

Date: 12th December 2012

Time: 3:00 pm

Venue: Parklands Baptist Church

By: ZIADA and Number 8

Featuring Artistes: Mercy Wairegi, Nasara the poet, Carlisto and Makena

Entrance: FREE

Adawnage

Adawnage Band is Kenya’s 2011 Group of the Year in the just concluded Groove Awards, for its popular releases, Uwezo and Safari.

Adawnage Band is a vibrant unit of energetic individuals from different established professional backgrounds who have come together with the sole purpose of reaching out to the world with positive, electric, realistic and inspirational music. The Contemporary Gospel Band which traces their beginnings to May of 2008 has as its mission statement ‘Transforming lives through God-inspired music and lifestyle’. The band released its debut album, Safari (The Journey) in December 2010 which comprises of 10 songs and it is a depiction of the journey that the band has taken since they started and the challenges and inspirations they have encountered through their walk.

Zidi, Ziada, adawnage

Breathe, the Zidi the Band’s flagship song won the team the title Group of the Year, in the 2010 Groove Awards.

Zidi the Band is a Christian music ministry, with a mission to ‘Transform and root our generation in God’. The name Zidi, is a Swahili word for exceed and is taken from Psalm 23:5 . In its seven years of existence, Zidi The Band has continued to churn out fresh afro-fusion music targeting young professionals. So far, music from its debut album, Motisha (Motivation) has received generous airplay in local and international stations sold out several times since hitting the stores in 2010.

Off the stage, members of Zidi The Band are pleased to be professional influencers of society in different capacities and collectively as sponsors of the Destiny Children Centre, Mombasa. In addition, partnering in local peace initiatives and music training programs present band members the opportunity to imapact community.

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Are you rooting for peace in our country but you lack a channel through which to promote it? This will be a good one, through photography, music, poetry, spoken word, writing among others. Spread the word and mark your calendars!

Well oh well…

I vouch for peace, always will.

I love the Kenya where I walk or drive freely without fear.

Where I sleep knowing that my family and friends are safe,

Day or night.

Where there is no discrimination,

Tribal or gender related.

To see and embrace the beauty that it holds.

I believe you also do.

Peace is possible.

Not bad huh! Maybe I could try a little poetry *joke*, just felt a little convicted. However, I also think “when the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace”. With that in mind, have a beautiful week ahead and be blessed.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Seekers…Keepers

It’s one thing to know what you want or need,  it’s another to get it and another one to create room for those things once you get them because you eventually do. Problem is that if it’s not self-driven and by that I mean envision it, yearn for it or there’s nothing you’ve had to give up for it, you’ll feel short-changed. The satisfaction derived from that whole process should make you feel like you’re on some spaceship headed to the blue moon okay I just exaggerated but you feel me.

Well that’s just once in a blue moon, most of the times we get things that we thought we didn’t want or need or we actually wanted just had thought of them in a more *castle in the air* kind of way and they drive you off your tangent. That right there is what we call experience, because it’s usually an instance that comes and goes but leaves you some few lessons to learn from.

You have to go through a series of instances to actually figure yourself out first. Pretty sure it’s something we have all experienced in one way or another. For some not in the easiest of ways, for others things have come pretty easy it’s like you had it all aligned it for you. All the same, I think it’s always worth the experience, makes you appreciate what you get even more.

I have been through a couple of experiences myself, in work, at school, in relationships of different kinds … it’s just amazing. I know there’s someone out there thinking, amazing? *pops eyes* are you kidding me? Yeah, I guess that’s how I take it in. Maybe that’s why I’m still sane or that’s why you would see me smiling when I should be hitting the roof as I try to contain my hulk. Trust me we all have a hulk in us, or is this the point where I use singular terms like “I”, I have some hulk a.k.a Meru in me.

Sometimes you get yourself somewhere not because it’s the wrong place at that point time, it’s just a stepping stone to the next level. The next level of taking you towards where you want to be. That situation could be grooming you for what life has in store for you. That’s why I say it’s pretty interesting. Think of it that way and you could be somewhat comfortable with your situation. You know the beauty of it is that, lets assume something goes wrong at one point, you will be sad but it won’t last forever. We are all bound to experience different emotions at different time. Both the good and the bad. Sadness, disappointments, bitterness, is just but a part of them, so is bliss, joy, gratefulness and so on. I tend to think they do take turns, because nothing is perfect, no one is from the human perspective. So at one point you’re on a high, the next you’re at a low (you’ve got to know how to chase this one away once it checks in … low is not a sport, never quite looks good on you).

 

Point is, knowing what you want, better yet identifying what you need. An important aspect of this is that it lets you know what to keep and what to let go of (people, a character you hold, something material, it could be anything). What you keep can sometimes be what deters you from getting…no? Then again, you could get what you want but it’s not necessarily what you need or you could get what you need but not what you want…lol talk of life getting it all twisted, that’s its nature though. So lucky are you when you get what you want and need. It’s a plus knowing it, because it gets you to treasure what you’ve got more, work hard for it because you know its importance and make sure that it’s for keeps. Everything does count, it contributes to who you are, what you’re yet to be and last but not least what and who is linked to you.

In other non-related news,  the music I’ve been listening to these days. Who knew there was country gospel … pop’ish kinda music? She’s good, Jamie Grace (one song at a time album) on replay, so soulful!

Just saw this on my friends update and thought to share :-) since sharing is caring and seeing as I haven’t fed your minds in a while, these ones looks like some great lessons to adopt:

  1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
  2. Marry a man or woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
  3. When you say “I Love you” mean it.
  4. When you wrong someone, look at them in the eye and say “I’m sorry”.
  5. Love deeply and passionately. You may get hurt,but its the only way to live life completely.
  6. Talk slowly but think quickly.
  7. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
  8. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
  9. Remember the 3 Rs: Respect for self, Respect Others, Responsibility for all your actions.
  10. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
  11. Spend some time alone.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Random Snippets

Courtesy of Native Pics

Photo Credits

Yes, I have always wanted to have a picture like this one! Speaks loads about me and I got one @KevDaNative to capture it. If that’s the much fun people have on this random shoots I wouldn’t mind doing one every fortnight *hint hint*.  So @Swambi and I had 3 photographers at our disposal. You know it’s only once in a life time you can get so much undivided attention from three handsome men at the same time. We were so over the skies there were no roofs. Here’s just but a few of the ones we took on Kev’s blog. More to come up, his words, “There will be two more posts from this shoot”, now I’m over the roof.

Daughtry’s album is out *Break The Spell* and I have already over-played it. I’m in love with all the songs in the album. That’s happened to all the others that I have of them. I think they are the only band who I have managed to listen to all the songs in the album and bump my head to them there’s no bad one. Okay maybe I’m biased … but you’ve got to love their music. They always speak to me. I know, the excitement! Thanks to the ones who gave me heads up on this, it’s usually the role of my baby sister … so now you deserve a hi ever day @Theycallmebiggy and @wiselar. Plus you get a mention on my blog, that’s a big thing you know.

Want to listen to the music here’s the link : Click me NOW . Thank me later … Sharing is caring!

My favorite is “Start of Something Good” —> Do I love it or do I love it … definitely love it!

Last but not least, sad news. I lost my dear uncle who’s basically like my second Dad. If there’s one thing you don’t know about me is that I have got nothing but love for my family. So seeing my aunt and cousins sad and imagining that my uncle is no more is just depressing. But hey, it’s God who gives and he’s still the one who takes. So he has his reason as to why he chose to bring him to our lives in the first place and take him from us right now. The best I can do is just be there for my family and always love them unconditionally.

A bit about my uncle, I lived with them a bit for some years when I was younger I think between 3 – 5 years. He spoilt us rotten and treated me like his own. He’s the one who introduced me to all the foreign foods (pizza and what not), how to eat with a fork and knife, going to the sports club and all the fun stuff. They used to tag me along even when I went back home. I was an only kid till I was 8yrs, so my cousins played the brother and sister role very well, they still do … sleep overs and the likes … cartoons, games when were young. Growing up kind of got into the way, school, work, distances … maen! and time is so scarce. The one thing I loved about him is that he always used to hug all of us and give us a kiss on the cheek every single day I lived with them and visited them, he made you feel loved.

It’s not dawned on me that he’s gone, but I hope it comes on lightly. I would love to just understand and accept without feeling so sad or thinking deeply into it. Pray for comfort and strength for our family.

Otherwise … lol, that’s so Kenyan! Can’t go off without the quote of the day.

God bless ya’ll. To living, loving and laughing. Have a Wonderful Wednesday … even the weather is smiling at you, so be sure to smile back yah!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Collide *POW*

Today is one of those day’s they say, “I woke up on the right side of the bed”, whoever coined that phrase *shaking my head* because I always wake up on the right (hand) side of the bed. I bet they meant the other right … hehe. I’m in this happy-go-lucky mood and I have no slightest idea where it’s come from, not that I’m complaining. Suddenly I have psyche to do things that I had lost psyche doing :) , which is a very good thing.

I love rock n roll \nn/ and the roll it leaves on your tongue when you’re saying it, the r’s and l’s in the statement can be quite the tongue twister considering my Meru genes are quite strong, might just get myself saying, “I love lock and loll”, “I rove rock and roll”, I love lock n roll”…hehe. Anyhow, the Xfm frequency (105.5) was never clear in the office but today it was … could the day get any better, felt like jumping up and down, but this was all happening in my head. Next on the playlist is ~ Howie Day – Collide ~

My favorite part of the song is the choruses (whats the plural of chorus?) … I’ve mixed them up to feature the lines I like!

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind

Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide

That one, is on the top of the list of my most favorite songs, why? Because I’m the kind of person who listens much to the message that the song is passing on, okay, the beats, it’s gotta pump me up. It’s one of those that get me saying “I love this song” *in the most girly of ways* and you’ll probably go like awww! Well, I said I could come up with a post out of a word, this is it today *COLLIDE*

Collide: To come together with violent, direct impact; To meet in opposition; conflict

Always dreaded, never anticipated is what colliding is. It happens when you least expected and the outcomes are always unknown. What I like about it, is the surprise it holds. I can’t say I love surprises, although I secretly do, but I have never brought myself to admit it. And today will not be the day I surrender, holding on strong, to my *I don’t like surprises*

For something to collide, there has to be an opposing force that is conflicting with it. Like opposite poles attract and like poles repel … same concept I guess.  I would equate this to life success, friendships, relationships. Basically, nothing comes easy, you have to fight for stuff, for it to work out.

In case you ever wondered why everything can be so hard sometimes, it’s because heaven and earth are having are colliding. Heaven is trying to make it heaven here on earth, while earth is trying to occupy it’s place and make it earthly. If they merge and form a good union … everything is heavenly and awesome, else hell breaks loose and depressing … okay that’s a joke, I done why life can be such a behind (euphemism at it’s best) sometimes.

Everyone is different ->and different people have different views, opinions, objectives, goals and so on. Then how do we make it together, because in the long run, a man is not an island? You need another to be able to achieve that which you’ve set out for. Your difference has to finally meet and I’m pretty sure they (the differences that is) ain’t going to sit around and wait to see what happens, they’ll have a go and eventually collide and the outcome could be either for the worst or for the best … surprise! surprise! This right her explains why I don’t like surprises, seeing as I’m human, I would love everything to be the best always.

Anyhow, you will find out that, that which collides, in the end, when it all works out, then it was worth the try. So don’t deny yourself anything based on the fact that it’s not you,  it’s different, out of this world or better yet not your kind of thing. Maybe that’s the key  to your treasure box. As long as it’s something that’s worth the fight then go ahead … what are you waiting for? *It’s not as easy as it sounds in writing/reading…lol*

Just to remind you that, no one has it all because even the best fall down sometimes and yeah, even the stars refuse to shine (do they?) … lol, just that the best and the stars never give up at any given circumstance. So giving up was never part of the plan … yah!

Okay, now go have a lovely evening … be happy, be the best, be a star and don’t be afraid to collide, it’s a way of life!

And this is my song of the day —> That’s more like me!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

My new favorite

This song has got me too… woi! me and my tendencies to replay a song a million times well that’s just me. and in general her songs are just the ISH, they all make sense and super sweet to the ear. Like her lifestyle too, she aint splattered all over the media for all the wrong reasons. #TooFresh!

Anyhow, ever had those people in your life, that even if they do stuff that hurts you or totally pisses you off, when they are in trouble or need you, you’ve always got them? or say you’ll just quickly forgive? #justasking

Signing Off — *Kawi*