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Days that you hate

I’m the only one who experiences instances of hate { hate is a strong word, would have used a better name like dislike, but hate best describes the feeling at that particular time} on somethings or some people. The feeling will last for as long as the event takes place and disappears immediately after that.

I bet if you have, you’ll understand what I’m talking about. It’s those things people do for for a minute or more and they make you want to practically pull off their hair or given the opportunity you would just kick their ass or give them a piece of your mind.

So there day’s that I just hate:

Matatu Conductors and Drivers

You walk to the stage in the morning, and the conductor comes convinces you to take the matatu to a particular destination which is where you are headed anyway. And you even re-confirm, and at the moments he’s the sweetest person…he even calls you beautiful, then three-quarter way to your destination, he decideds ya’ll now have to alight and walk to the destination stage because there are traffic cops ahead? WTH!!! And he does not the least care. Those are the times you wish you had a police-mans no. on speed dial. or you could just hold him by the collar and give him a piece of your *not so amused* mind.

Boring Radio Presenters

You’ve entered the matatu expecting to be entertained only for the station on air have some lifeless presenters…aaarrrggghh and you are going to be stuck in traffic for like 30mins listening to someone sound disgusting in discussions no offense but who puts Nick Odhiambo or even Ciku Muiruri on the classic FM breakfast show (oh, it’s the station played by nearly all matatu’s)…YUCK! he just says disgusting things in a more disgusting way.

KPLC

You go home anticipating to watch a good movie, after foregoing all the plans with your friends. Only for KPLC to decide electricity is a luxury for you. Times you wish you just knew just one employee of kplc who manages switches…but I can bet they never disclose their job…because the number of people cursing him and wanting his throat..I can only imagine.

Police Men

What is with policemen and matatus, the day you are late to work is when they decide…we are going to do an operation. I know policemen are here to maintain peace and order, but surely to the point of scaring off public transport.

Subordinates

Watchmen, waiters, shop attendants, drivers, conductors – This guys can spoil your day I tell you. They can turn such a simple thing into a complicated thing, actually complicated is an understatement, they always make it look like you are the bad one. I have learnt in the worst way – never try to reason out with them because you are the one who’ll end up looking like a fool.

Big word users

Ever come across this guys who talk to you but their main attempt is to make you look stupid. They will use complex words and statement and for sure you’ll look stupid, because you won’t get a thing they’ve said. Arrrgggh I can’t stand such, they make me soooo irritated.

Oh just found out this guys are called — “sesquipedalian”

Funny Babaric Behaviors

I experienced this once I had visited some restaurant, I think it’s called café pronto and City star… whereby first the food that’s brought is “mchanganiko maalum”i.e the contents of the plate of food are really mixed up, and the group of I think Somali guys are eating together as they talk. Now the part I hated is where, as they first of all eat with their hands and the food is flying everywhere, they are basically chewing with the mouth wide open…eeeewwww!

I could barely swallow my food at the view…me who loves eating, was satisfied and disgusted at the second bite. Then comes the part for washing your hands and the dude decides he’s washing his mouth and face on the sink…and all the contents of his mouth are splattered on the sink…. Oh Myyy Goooosh tha was just it. YUCK!!! I went back so irritated, disgusted and at that particular moment I hated Somali restaurants and the people. Though I still find myself in them seeing as they have occupied nearly all the restaurants in the CBD.

Random dude trying to vibe you

A dude decides he’s going to start asking you weird lame questions in the matatu. Please, unless you have something concrete you want to ask, just shut up, and NO i’m not being mean I’m just being realistic. For instance an escapade:

Dude: Hey, what’s your name? I’m XXXX

Kawi: Oh hi, uuuuum *thinks about it *I’m *fake name*

Dude: So are you in campus?

Kawi: No

Dude: You leave in Kenya Institute of Administration…Is it an Institute or a hostel

Kawi: *honestly I’m not mean, but that was the closing point of that conversation, if there was any* I’m not in the mood of talking right now.

Dude: Ok. So can I have your number.

Kawi: *Serious look, and I continued reading my novel*

If the dude pulled a smarter move, I would’ve probably engaged in a conversation. But it’s just not right to talk to every other girl especially if you have nothing to say, just hold your horses, let them out when it’s necessary. It’s not amusing to be mean to someone…lol

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Beyond my Control!

There are sometimes in life that things become a bit thick and you start having unfounded thoughts like, I wish a car just came and hit me and it’ll just be easier maybe not

So today I wake up so early 5am to be specific, which i don’t, even when my alarm is on I will snooze and snooze, until it hits me that am going to get late. My friend also called me at 5 to wake me up #howsweet. So I wake up, I do the necessary, kinda reminds me of the nursery rhyme: I wake up in the morning, I brush my teeth, I wash my body, I brush my hair…bleh bleh bleh. I mean I didn’t even take breakfast because it wasn’t wholly ready. So, to cut long story short, I was out of the house by 6:45, not knowing what  I was going to get ahead …the freaking JAM! TRAFFIC! ok, I managed to reach at 8 on the dot #phew.

But, it really pisses me off that we got independence in 1963 and in 2010 we have issues of traffic everyday…because the road is being constructed, or some dignitary is passing #JoeBiden , or it rained at night. I mean, really… then you tell you’re boss that the traffic jam is what got you late, and he thinks you’re cooking it up,  I mean do they fly choppers or something, because we probably don’t use the same routes. Plus forgetting that I use a matatu with all the commuting while he drives…anyway!

We are all humans, there are some things that are just out of our control like traffic jams, you know, if I could part roads and make myself a free way like Moses parted the red sea to make way for the Israelites to flee…. I would do that, if it was all in my control but it’s not.

I know that excuse sounds like cliché, “I was held up in Traffic”..but if you’re in Kenya, it’s just it. It sounds like a lie but it’s actually true and there’s nothing you can do about it.

But this Kesha – Tik Tok song which is also my ring tone is easing me up, you know this life is meant to be enjoyed. So I shall blame the Kibaki&Raila Govt … can they get choppers for their vistors…hehe

Signing Off  — *Kawi*

Road Rage

Thought road rage is only for drivers, wrong, passengers get the full experience of it. Especially if you travel by public means.

Road Rage -- Gets me charging like a bull

Yesterday, as I was headed home in the evening after an exhausting day, I walk to the stage and enter the matatu Public Service Vehicle(PSV). I’ve settled down on my sit and am just thinking, I can’t wait to reach home. The matatu environment is not the best. There’s the closed windows that makes it stuffy and there’s the loud bursting music that makes you feel like your eardrums are going to get perforated. Then the worst moment comes when in a 3 seater place the conductor forces a 4th person. And being in the evening some people just smell of serious sweat Hardworking Citizen and they are just rubbing against you. Anyway that’s not the big deal here,

The way the driver is driving is just it. Gosh, you would think he’s transporting cows to the slaughter room. I thought PSV’s have a speed limit of 80km/h this dude is doing about 100-120km/h on a road that should only be doing 50km/h like half the time you’re heart is in your mouth #TheTraumer Then he refers to the passengers as pesa. You’d hear the conductor say something like “beba pesa” — carry money.

To be honest I felt like if only I was #Makmende I would take the conductor and the driver and bang their heads together i mean like the way I would play a cymbal. Because all through the journey I’m cursing out, you know all the S words I can think of. Really, I would want to be having happy thoughts on my way home. Not thinking what would happen if we had an accident #BadThoughts.

The worst people to have a road rage with is the PSV drivers and conductors, because they just don’t care, they are either probably high on some drug or wondering how they are going to make money in the next round they are carrying passengers. By the time I came to realize this, I have alighted the matatu with some burning anger, Chimney like or say charging bull, venting out all the anger! Those guys are experts in Saddism, they can totally ruin your day.

The only medicine is Ignore, Ignore, Ignore until you buy a car. Involvement with them is just a waste of time and energy. It’s like arguing with a fool, don’t get me wrong I’m not calling them fools am just likening the situation, since it’s the same anyway…lol, you just end up looking like one of them. Which is not a good thing. On the contrary, you can wish them a lovely evening (turn anger into joy) … it’s a fulfilling feeling … I have tried it. Though it was uncalled for, am sure he was left thinking, okay, what did I do to deserve that :)

Public Transport in Kenya

I have always been in a third world country born and bred… but at least I know our public transport sucks (tongue out :p ) totally. Like we’ve got minivans we call ‘matatus’…I really hate them but I have no choice because i don’t have enough ‘000 to buy myself a car so I have to go through the torture of boarding one everyday :(

My wish on our Kenyan public transport:

  1. A bus fare pricing body : Like a union that controls the bus fares. Because they just hike up when spited by something as small as drizzling or signs of rain. The prices all of a sudden get to double because it’s the rush hour when people are leaving work.
  2. Regulated music or just no music in the matatu : Honestly I hate it when they play loud music..makes you feel like your ear drums are bursting out. And half the time you can barely hear the music.
  3. Less portholed roads with reflectors and marked where necessary : If only the government could make sure that all the roads are smooth and marked clearly, also that there are reflectors so that the driver can see well at night.
  4. Less traffic jam : I don’t really know what they can do to curb this maybe the roads should be widened with more lanes… then make sure the public transport is on point and more people could leave their cars at home, hence less traffic. I hate the fact that we live 15 minutes or less away from town but it will take you 45 minutes to reach town thanks to traffic.
  5. The rickety mataus should just be gotten rid off..especially the ones that have some seriously toxic black exhaust gas with no safety belts and have disjointed parts…freaky.
  6. Our railway tracks and trains should be seriously worked on..its abit embarrassing — maybe the should start thinking electric..hehe I wish!
  7. The public transport drivers and conductors should attend etiquette classes and more strict driving classes… because they are like hungry monsters when driving.
  8. The police should just should be lenient, strict but not unfair when handling the above especially when they are on the right because it now makes the good drivers and conductors be bad and the nad ones be worse… It’s usually a cat and mouse game for cops vs drivers.
  9. They should have some serious rules and regulations that govern the public transport body and there should be people who have been given the responsiblity to enlighten the drivers and conductors and maybe the traffic police on them.
  10. Traffic Rules 101::: people need to be taught how to follow the traffic lights i.e Red is STOP, Amber is WAIT and Green is Go… as simple as that. That would make much of a difference.

What I like about our public transport, after much thinking … Nothing really. Okay let me give the government some credit, they are working well on the highways, lets see how they’ll be after completion. Oh well, they’ve put ‘one ways’ in town, am still trying to understand how they reduce traffic, because according to I , traffic is still the same, if not worse. I did like the Michuki rules, and I respect that man, he had seriously streamlined public transport. (Michuki for President…lol)