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God Gave Me You.

Sometimes you need a little country to get you going. Blake Sheldon is such a legend, in my books though, so don’t slaughter me just yet! But he killed it for me with “God Gave Me You.” Also, his wife is so adorbs! It’s amazing to have someone who’s with you through your ups and downs, because truth be told, we all have those moments and you never want to deal with them alone.

It’s one of those situations that are inevitable. In as much as you never want a “down” to be there, it’ll be. It happens so fast that you’re left asking yourself, “How? When? Where?” Next thing, you just have to deal with it. So when it happens, there’s comfort in knowing there’s someone who’s concerned, and will at one point or another hold your hand, pat your back or give you a big bear hug and tell you, “it’s alright, we’ll work through it … wait for it … together.”

Nurture your relationships, it’s worth it. The person closest to you is just as good to you as you are to them or vice versa. That’s the peculiar thing about human nature. If you treat me good, I’ll feel compelled to do the same. If you treat me badly, I’ll pull out my defense mechanism and it varies for different people – the same way it does for animals. A bee would sting, a lion will eat you up, and a python will swallow you alive.

The thing about relationships, is that, they’re not easy. No, it’s never a walk in the park, life doesn’t quite allow it, though I wish it did. It always has a way of bringing in scenarios, situations, differences, tests, trials and such like things that put you in a position that makes you wonder, *what the hell?* But you love this person next to you, so you brave it and deal with whatever it is.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, we all have emotions, different emotions, and at different times. Emotions are like a roller-coaster, one time you’re here, the next moment you’re there. It couldn’t get any more difficult than that. Because emotions can be the hardest things to deal with. They can’t be controlled from an external source, it can only come from within – you’re the only one who can tell yourself, “I want to be happy” and actually make yourself “happy”, if I told you to be happy, you’ll probably just look at me with a blank and extremely irritated face.

The difference of emotions though, that could be a hidden advantage that we all need to tap in to, to make things work. It’s not as easy as A-B-C, but I just figured that must be a quota of the trick. When one is on a high and the other is on a low, don’t go on a low too, just maintain your high – even if it’s as you do your own stuff, the other person might come around. And welcome them when they do, don’t punish them … it’s a good place to be, the high, even better when you’re at it together. So goes with other emotions, always strive to be the bigger person; to be the person who keeps things going, when the other person is on empty; the person who flashes a smile, when the other person is sad; the person who opens up a can of stories, when the other person is seeing blanks.

Relationships, Love,

“The reality is that, there’s no perfect, just imperfect (read I’m Perfect). So you have to sift through the imperfect to find your PERFECT without the IM” ~ I said that ;-)

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

The Million Dollar Question?

Even after I said “YES”, the first question that ran through my mind was, “how did you know the size of my finger?” I was too curious, because that would have been my only selling point.

The story, now that’s the question everyone has been asking of late. I’m not the best at narrating the same story over and over. But it seems for this season that I’m in, I need to get used to it and, that this bling sure does bring a lot of attention. I didn’t see myself in this phase this soon, and maybe that’s why the mister managed to sneak away with it. I was being very futuristic, I didn’t want to give him pressure in as much as all of you out there gave me pressure *looks at you, you and you*. I just wanted to go with the flow.

And with the flow I went. He’s a sneaky one, because on that Saturday 19th April, it was my turn on the rotter to work. He diligently dropped me at work, no signs whatsoever except him booking me for the day and night. All through work, I felt like I was in a daze, which made me think with the weather change I could be in the process of catching a cold. However, I wrote a post too, it was too pressing, I had learnt a couple of things that week through him and with him. Time to go home, I call him just to give him a heads up, and he offers to come back and pick me up. He’d done this a couple of times before so again, it felt normal.

When he picks me up, he hands me a gift bag and inside is perfume. WOW! He had chosen a yummy scent that I immediately adopted as My Scent. I was still in a daze. Let me explain the state, “happy and floaty for no reason, so it just feels a little awkward”. Does that make some sense?

photo (4)

So we go grab something to bite and go home to watch some flicks looking forward to dinner. This Easter was pretty chilled out with no out-of-town plans (contrary to what we had earlier planned). So I was looking forward to the food, he was clearly looking forward to other grander things. If only I knew. I would have bought a new dress…lol. When evening reaches, he nudges me and tells me to dress-up. With his special line “we can’t be late for this one.” You know we women and our delaying tactics, I got it from my mum.  I was on time this time round, funny enough I didn’t even  give him a hard time getting dressed up. Normally I’d be in jeans but that day, I was very willing to dress up.

Out we went, where? “It’s a surprise,” he says. We check in to Serena and I’m like aha, but the “Captains Table at The Mandhari Restaurant” AHA! I only see all that attention in movies. And the attention is from when you check in to when you’re leaving the building. God bless those lovely waiters.  With a whole bottle of Moet to ourselves, if I knew what was going on, I’d have had a photographer on speed-dial. We just had make do with what we had by ourselves and the new fad – selfies to make memories. I loved the privacy, he knows me too well.

KawiSnippets, Engaged

1. I, very clueless  2. The Mandhari Restaurant Menu 3. Moet, 4. So sparkly, champagne ain’t the yummiest beverage at first but the taste grows on you. 5. The Master of selfies, takes us one. 6. Healthy starter – with wheat, nuts and all things healthy. 7. Mushroom Soup 8. Chicken Soup, 9. with a Quail egg to compliment (even with all the hype, I’d never eaten one yet, there’s a 1st for everything) – It had a name, I can’t remember. 10. Chefs special – Shrimp (with things in it) – I could have eaten more of those, too yummy for just one. 11. Creamy Au Gratin Potatoes – Pure yumminess in a cup plate. I’m now a potato person – being the person who hated potatoes in her food, but with cheese & butter anything is possible. 12. Pork Ribs. 13. Lamb Chops. 14, 15, 16. Those are two happy & grateful people.

It looks like my main word is yummy. It’s either yummy or not yummy. In a nut shell that’s how the evening went down of course followed with a nigh-out with a couple we look up to (not the parents haha, Mr & Mrs Ngigi). I was overwhelmed with joy. Too overwhelmed that we forgot to take pics of the dessert which the waiter said “comes served very hot.” Eh it was hot when she flung open the lid and I saw petals, a box ring and my boyfriend down on one knee.

No, I didn’t cry, not just yet. I think I was too surprised that he decided that it’s about time he “put a ring on my fatty-fatty finger”. I had asked God to give me someone I’ll be ready to spend the rest of my interesting life with. And with him, I felt that this was it. We have been together through the murks and the light as well, we’re growing together, we try up lift each other when either of us is down, we share the same values, beliefs and principles, he loves me all the time, even when I get to his nerves – like when I give completely wrong directions. He’s my all-weather friend. What more could I ask for? I am thankful to God that he’s taken his time to bring closer to me my life partner and we’re on the same page.

Engagement

For the next chapter, there’s no pressure. We’ll arrange it how we know it best, with the help of those who want the best for us. In all honesty, I’m the most clueless of bride-to-be, but we’ll sail through with God’s blessings. Can’t wait for that day and the lifetime to follow though.

To him,

Have a lovely week, now won’t you? To a wonderful journey we’ll have on here. Lot’s of love, light & peace from us to you.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

 

If You Want To Feel Rich

You know the interesting thing about life? I also don’t. Ha ha kidding, I do. It’s that at the end of the day it’s about your endless dreams and how you can make them happen. It’s about those people you care about and how you want to see them happy. It’s about you and how you can achieve your happiest state. You work to achieve something, something that will make you feel complete, an absolute of sorts. The other day someone asked what can’t money buy? That’s a difficult question seeing as some of us haven’t experienced extreme richness to know what exactly it can’t buy. But with the much I have, I can say those things I am pretty sure it wouldn’t buy me.

You know those things that whether you have money or not, you can still experience them. It’s not money that determines whether you can or cannot get them. Digress, I remember in the course of my first job, I was confident enough that I deserved a raise and off I walked to my ex-bosses office to request for one. With full justification as to why I deserved an increase, we chat away. He’s the kind that could talk you out of what you want and convince you otherwise. So to say the least, I was fully armed. His office, the battle field. Everyone knew that. By all means I deserved a pay rise, so I was going to fight for it. As we chat, he goes like, “Mercy, you know if I decided to start paying you a million every month today you would go crazy”. Ha ha, joke right and I say, “I would be happy with that. Maybe we can try.” Then being the smart man,  he of course tells me the story of how he started out and how he got to where he is.  You learn to manage the little that you have as it’s added in progression, not just pap! Otherwise you won’t get a hold of yourself. I see he was doing my parents a favour, parenting me at work.

Oh boy, I was just seeing my plea go down the drain, somehow disappearing in the horizon as he went on and on. The he goes, “I will add for you this *small amount* first then we see how you do, and you can come back *after this duration of time* for a review”. Not what I had initially asked for, but at least it was something to get me going then. This always gets me looking back and thinking how it is I survived with that money, somehow I did, comfortably. Now back to those things, those ones that make you feel rich even when you’re not money rich, those ones that money cannot buy;

Happy Relationships

With God, with your family, with your spouse. You can’t buy their love or affection towards you and vice versa. Their willingness to do things for you and with you when you need them to, when you don’t need them to or when you least expect them to. The respect that you hold for each other. It’s a world of competition out there, so having this people cheer lead for you and be your front runners. That at the end of the day, you have people who can be held accountable for you and you for them, this is a blessing, not a purchase.

Good Health

It’s by the Grace of God that you’re healthy. That you can do things that other people only wish they could or that you have features that others wish they had, even if just for a day. They may look simple and easy for us, but it’s a blessing that we shouldn’t take for granted. Walking, eating, talking, sleeping, pooping, thinking, hearing, seeing among other things. That you’re not sick and bed ridden. You could have the money to go to the best doctors in the world, but not necessarily get healed. So thank your almighty for good health and long life.

Time … A Really Good Time

Money can enable you to go to the most beautiful and tranquil of places and do things that you’ve only dreamt of. But chances are that you might not even have a good time while at it. It happens. You think this place could give you absolute happiness even if for a moment, then it doesn’t. It probably even stresses you when you think how much you’re spending and what you’re going back to or it could be the company, not withstanding the luxury provided. It gets you whining to no end.

It’s all about having a good time, a great experience, a genuine smile on your face and hearty laughter, the kind that stems from your tummy. Ain’t it? You can have a good time wherever you choose to go or be, not necessarily in the islands or desserts or five star hotels whose décor and furnishings are out of this world. If you can’t afford that right now, you can afford a walk in the park … it’s free. I know I’m pushing it *because I want to go to those islands, desserts and five start hotels*, but a really good time knows no place and no amounts of money. You make it, with what you have.

True friends

There’s the family that’s given to you by virtue of being born into this world, and then there are those you personally choose, your true friends. Money can’t buy you these ones and if it does, the ‘true’ in the ‘true friends’ fizzles out. The love, trust and commitment you accord this ones with and vice versa is miraculous.

The brain and mind

Oh your mind. That there is one powerful object, in case you were searching for super powers. Very powerful, I’m even thinking when people say it’s the heart ‘a bullet to the heart‘, I think they mean the mind. The heart just pumps blood and enables the brain to get blood and oxygen for you to remain sane. It’s the mind that thinks, hurts, feels, cooks things up, makes assumptions, loves and so on. The mind leads you to believing what you want to believe and helps you make your choices, good or bad, whether you have money or not. It’s the source of great ideas and innovations that eventually lead you to making that money.

Money can’t buy you brains, but it can help you make up your mind, when you have them. So the brains came before the money, unless you’re a trust fund baby, lucky bustards … lol

rich

There’s no better way to look at it. This will give you so much peace especially in your mind and help you put some things into perspective. Sometimes we get so drained trying to get rich, that we die trying. Because we see riches as just having money and lots of it, but riches do come in other forms too. What are some of those things you have that money cannot buy?

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Caring Too Much … Perhaps?

Sometimes you care so much even when you are not meant to. Not that caring is bad, caring is the best thing that could ever happen to anyone. To care about someone, to be cared for, best feeling in the world. If anything, caring is synonymous to love. When you care about someone and someone cares about you just as much or more, then that’s love, genuine love. Or at least that’s what I choose to think is one of the basics components which constitutes love. Caring is selfless, something you give not because it’s an obligation you’re supposed to fulfil or because it’s a duty assigned to you, but because you feel the need to and that the person you care for deserves at least that from you, they are that special.

care

I know you’re wondering where I am getting to with this, I am too. Was just trying to show you that caring is actually good, until it becomes bad. We people are known to care too much. Caring too much even for things and people who don’t really deserve it, people who don’t really matter to us, people who don’t really care about us and neither do we about them. We care about the wrong things from those people, we care not because we actually care for or about them, instead, we care what they think about us, what they say about us, what their opinion of us is or even whether what we do or say pleases them or captures their attention and if they’ll have something good to say about it or us. We even create the illusion that for us to be happy, we must please these people who we don’t really care about by doing or saying things that we normally wouldn’t do or say. We are not ourselves around them in the aim to please them, an extra price to pay for something you don’t need to do in the first place. Sounds familiar?

Not once or twice, I can say that I have tried to please those people who don’t care about me. Saying things I wouldn’t normally say, doing things I normally wouldn’t do, basically going completely out of my way not to be myself, all in the name of trying to make someone else happy. Someone who doesn’t recognize how much effort you have put in whatever it is you’re doing to make sure that they are happy or comfortable. Not being you bites you in the back when you’re very unaware. It’s the same people you try to please who will talk smack about you in your absence, who won’t be straight with you, who will be quick to say what’s wrong instead of what’s right to other people besides you. It’s like throwing a curve ball, you think you’ve scored a goal after a super strike only for it to come back and hit you in the face.  I must have reached a point in life I figured it’s always been about the people I care for and the people who care about me and no one else. The rest usually fall into place, they settle for what the ones you care about get.

Sometimes you want to carry all the weight of the world, but (un)fortunately you have only two hands with some inspiration from “Avicii – Wake Me Up”. I bet God had that in mind when he gave us two hands, you can’t start operating like an octopus. Basically be who you are, do what’s in your ability, be honest with yourself and to those around you, say and do what you feel because those who care about you or matter will definitely not mind and those who don’t care about you or don’t matter … well does it really matter now that they don’t matter? I think it’s a notion we have in our heads that everyone should like us for we who we are. Unfortunately now, the universe doesn’t play easy, so those one who don’t matter shouldn’t bother you, because eventually, they fade away. Difficult one but for an easier win, just know your people!

Care

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Of Friendships

Friends

Friends for a moment, friends for a season, friends for a lifetime.

“Just like a nice assortment of chocolates friends come in all different shapes, sizes, colors, personalities, backgrounds, religions, and cultures. You never know what you are going to get sometimes as you navigate your way through your box. There are many different friendships to tantalize the “friendship palate”.” Source

Friendship is a thing I believe that’s quite the big deal in our lives, although people like me try to down play it. We’ve called people our friends, best friends, best friends forever and the likes. For you to brand someone that, it’s because there’s something about them that you want to be associated with. There’s something about them that makes you want them to be a part of your life. There’s that saying that goes something like; “with family, you don’t choose, you’re given, but with friends, you have the free will to choose”. So your friends are somewhat the family that you choose, besides your God-given family.

As we grew up, my parents had their friends who we used to visit and used to visit us every so often. They would bring their kids over, or we would go to theirs, have parties and sleep overs. I didn’t know whether we were related or not and didn’t bother to know. As far as we were concerned my parents friends were our uncles, aunties and their kids our cousins. Somehow through my parents, they became like part of our family. You’d be surprised that if you asked me to name my real aunties, uncles and cousins and the family friends feature heavily in that list. There are some of whom I came to realize that we’re not related as late as this year.

Friendship is not a thing that we can just ignore, because like relationships they pretty much define us. It’s those people you communicate with, you socialize with, you hang out with. Those people who challenge you, who you share with your ideas, those people who level you up when you’re a tad unbalanced or irrational, those people who plant your feet back to the ground when your head is busy floating in the sky. They are special people. Not everyone can tolerate you, but friends somehow manage to. Friends are those people who could have talked about you behind your back but instead choose to tell you, because you’re their friend. They are those people who when you get that “can the earth open up and eat me up” feeling, they go ahead to show that their would be a void in their lives if that ever happened, and they help you try to solve the problem at hand.

Friends may not necessarily have all the money in the world to stand by you financially, they could not necessarily be the most connected people to help you get who and what you want, but they are the people with the biggest hearts. You’ve got to love hearts, because they’re not material. The mind could be, it could make you think of all the good things and bad things, but the heart is genuine and what it offers cannot be measured quantitatively. It doesn’t consider what one has and what one doesn’t have, it just goes for who that person is. It accepts the person as is, and strives to be there for them, help them be a better them, give them hope when all seems bleak.

Remember Maslow’s hierarchy of needs? I know friendship is somewhere up there in the hierarchy, but it almost also feels like a physiological need (the most basic need). A basic need that you shouldn’t have too much of, because I mean you just need enough of it to satisfy your needs, ain’t it?  So you don’t have to have a million friends. How would you even meet the needs of each one of those or vice versa? You would get so overwhelmed that idea of friends would infuriate you. If you really think about it, you find that those people who actually call your their friends or you call your friends are a handful. The rest, probably are just acquaintances or you know, something like part of your network.  Those, you’ve got to have many, millions so to say. People you think of because a situation has come up,  you need something from them or they just happened to cross your path. No? You’ve got to love all this people, they won’t necessarily always be there for you when you need them (and are not obliged to) but they sure do make the world a better place by all means. Someone may not be your friend, but they could be part of your network. I think that’s where we have a hard time drawing the line, then feel cheated when the network doesn’t play the friends role.

Also, some friends do have terms, unfortunately. Maybe that’s how it’s drawn up by the creator. There are those for a moment, a season or a lifetime. Life happens somewhere midway and those friends that you thought you will have forever somehow vanish. It could be as simple as slipping away as a result of distance, difference in lifestyles and so on or as dramatic as difference in opinions, arguments and fights over, for or against something. When the term for a friendship comes to a close, most of us find it difficult to let go *guiltily raises hand*. In essence, letting go could be the best decision you could make as a friend. It’s a loving thing to do when you see it’s not working out. Instead of dragging them along, just let it be. Things do change, people do change, friendships do change. It’s normal and less burdening, I figure. Then there are those who are there for a lifetime, I live for those. Isn’t it great when you meet someone or people you can grow with, have disagreements and different opinions but still agree or have level ground, have distance between you but still connect in every way and in future let them into your children’s life and have them confuse them for family! Dang!

I think the thing with friendships based on my observation is more of “just let it flow”. When it doesn’t work, let it be, when it works, let it be. Whatever the case, having a friend is a blessing from the almighty to us. After all, what would life be without them? Treasure them, love them.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Friday Snippets

Running Time

Thank God It’s Friday

I think my mind is having a couch potato moment. You know where you have things to write about in your mind but your body is not cooperating with what your mind is feeling. In short, the writing doesn’t quite happen. Then funny thing is how time flies. By the time I’ve gotten to the office I realize it’s already 1:00pm then all of a sudden it’s 4:30pm. When I get home, it’s already 10:00pm. I lay my head to sleep, and the alarm is already buzzing it’s 6:30am. Where’s this time running to or am I the one running away from it?

WATCHING

Remember Sunday (of love and loss of memory. The dude has to fall in love with the lady everyday and the lady has to bear with it…oh love), Side effects (you want to know how someone can pretend, wow, watch this one. It’s unbelievable). House of Lies, this is one interesting management series, tells you all about consultancy and the lies it holds. But hey, who doesn’t want to be a consultant,  it’s in my future plans for sure. Oh plus being a lecturer or a professor you can mark my words here already.

LOVING

The boyfriend. We have been dating for almost 1 year now *ululations*. It closes in this month. I remember my friend counting months for me, like “I’m giving you 6 months, then I’ll know that you’re serious”, of course I was.  It’s a roller coaster but you know how a roller coaster goes. It’s a never ending cycle, always gives you the thrill despite its ups and downs and I never want to step out of this one. It’s quite the fun ride, actually my favorite. My muse!

Love is a decision. It’s not a feeling because feelings get messed up. Sometimes that person you consciously know you love can drive your feelings up the roof and they don’t get back for hours or even a couple of days. But because you love then, you decide that despite them messing up with your feeling, it’s much more than that and you want them there with you, always.

LISTENING TO

Pod casts given by Pastor Bob Coy. Do you love preachings? Go look for them. Do you hate preachings? go look for them. He knows how to cut across the message to everyone and relate it to the bible without sounding so spiritual or religious, if you know what I mean. He relates the bible to life and how we live. He hits the nail on the head, like tells you what you don’t want to hear. It’s amazing.

READING

Still Paulo Coelho – Aleph. Since when did I become such a bad reader. There were days I would read a book in 3 days or less. Now, it’s a whole week or 2 and well, I’m not even mid-way. Bad manners right?

EATING

Some cold fruity milkshake (Yummers! The thought). I don’t really care the flavour right now (but of course not anything chocolate or coffee flavoured).

LOOKING FORWARD TO

Something very random. I don’t know what exactly, but I know I’m game for, oh well, anything that will make me have a good time by all means.

SAVING FOR

Curtains, yes curtains. I think it’s about time I got curtains to match my “colour scheme”. Don’t be surprised, it’s not purple or pink. It’s actually orange and brown. I can be somewhat unpredictable sometimes.

PLANNING FOR

Well not planning per se, but I’ve been blogging for almost 4 years. How I have been able to do that, I don’t know. I think it’s the fact that I feel compelled to share. I am glad that I haven’t reached a point where I want to hang my boots and I hope I will never reach that point. I love this sport.

I like that I am confident in what I do even when I don’t know what will really come off it despite wanting to inspire, impact or influence someone through this. Maybe that’s where the plan should come in right? Yeah, that’s what I’m planning for now…lol

THANKING

How I am a really poor multi-tasker. Is it a skill that’s acquired in future? I think I’m the only woman who’s bad at it. Like if I always find myself concentrating on one thing, putting my mind into it and being oblivious of other things going on. Although I can also be a scatter brain, but poor multi-tasker rules the day. I’m yet to find out whether it’s a bad or good thing.

To more laughing, living and loving. Let your weekend be nothing short of interesting, blessings!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

#overlycool

Relationships are not a walk in the park. You know the kind that you’re used to every other day,  your easy walk, where you know all the cool spots, where you will stop, have a chit-chat, laugh, walk, run do your thing and it makes you have that warm fuzzy feeling because it’s your regular dose. No, no, relationships are not that walk in the park. I would say, it’s more of a trip to the jungle. In a jungle you’ve never been to. It’s a first of its kind.

Big Foot. Small Foot.

Big Foot. Small Foot.

Imagine the thoughts that run through your mind when you’re told that you need to start preparing yourself for a trip to the jungle. I know right. Personally this is what would run through my mind; What do you carry with you, what do you leave behind, what are you going to find there, what will the trip do to you, will you have fun, will you have really scary moments like when you have to face lions, bears, snakes and all those scary animals you could think of that would be found in the jungle, will you find the happy place, like the meadow, where you can watch the beautiful scenery of the jungle, where the animals meet to drink water, where there lake meets the sky and the sun sets in the beautiful horizon.

That’s what a relationship is. You just don’t know what to expect, good things, bad things, confusing things. You are allowed to prepare yourself mentally when you’re getting into one, you can make all these arrangements. Like have a list of qualities you want your significant other to have, what you want your relationship to be like, what you don’t want it to be like. Then you get into it, and you want to apply all this plans you had. Like the jungle, some will work, others just won’t. Sometimes you have to deal with situations as they are, not based on what your plans were, but look at the situation and make judgement there and then. If you wait to ask around or start looking back at your “guide-book” you’ll  miss the point. That’s what relationships bring to the table.

The jungle that is the relationship could be where you find yourself. Where you find what it is that creeps or pisses the hell-out-of you and what it is that makes you happy and content with your current situation. Through this jungle, despite it not being a simple, predictable and a not so smooth journey, you find out whether your partner is the person who you want to experience all these confusions with. The confusion that is the creepiness and the beauty the jungle holds. In life, we all want to be loved, to be happy but we can never do that alone, unfortunately. Humans were created to want and need, to love, to hate, to be scared and all other related things. We have family and friends, but I don’t know how God did this, how he made us to want to have just that one main person. That one person that you connect with in a way that’s different from how you connect with your friends and family. That’s what is overly cool. How far you’d  go to make sure that you make it through the jungle with this other person. It’s in the sacrifices, the compromises, the thoughts, the expectations, the laughter, the tears, the sharing, the loving and the caring. That’s my overly cool. What’s yours?

overlycool

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*