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A Small Gift, Mini-Afro and Big Lesson

Of those gifts you receive and appreciate because its the thought that really counts, but at that moment you disregard it’s function. I’m sure you’ve received such a gift, no? It’s value is not felt immediately. You probably get home and stack it away in your closet hoping that it comes to be of use. Sometimes you just keep it because it’s a gift and it has some sentimental value.

Well, I don’t receive too many gifts, and especially not at random times of the year. This time, when I chopped my hair, my former colleagues gifted me with a metallic afro comb and a flower hair clip, that was a first. My hair was at base level, so the gift didn’t make sense then. I was all grins because it was a gift and which girl doesn’t love gifts? Whether big or small or if it makes sense or no sense.

Then my hair grew to mini-Afro level and my finger combing tactics were getting a little out dated. It just wasn’t working any more and my hair would get tangled up or look pretty untidy. Then one day as I oil my hair, stacked at the back of my made up “dressing corner” I see the that thing we can equate to “an oasis in the desert”, the metallic Afro comb. Then Arufeni’s wise words came to mind, “you’ll need this sometime” and the time was then.

Afro, Gifts, Blessings, Life Lesson

Moral of the story, sometimes we receive our blessings way ahead of time and they don’t make sense then. We have to go through a phase or a season for the blessing to reveal itself and make itself useful in your life in its time. Don’t trash or undervalue gifts given to you just yet. Receive them, keep them and give them time to mature. Give them time to bring value to your life, because that’s the intention of the gift-giver. While you receive physical gifts from loved ones, blessings are your gifts from God. That’s how he shows you some love, most times, it’s through other people.

Thank you Arufeni and Lydia, now I see the value of the comb. It might have been a small gesture, but it has taught me a big lesson.

Signing Off ~~~*Kawi*

Go For It. Even When It Seems Impossible.

“Sometimes we forget where we forget where we’ve come from, until someone reminds us”.

Ever been in a situation where someone tells you “if someone had told me this when I was your age, things would have been different?” My folks told me that a lot and for that reason, I always remember. It’s a pity statement, but it has so much impact. It says you have potential that no-one bothered to tap. Sometimes we need that drive, you know someone to tell you, “Go for it” or “You can do it”, simply because you can. It’s so easy to lose hope in yourself and in things around you when you’re faced by an obstacle.

The folks, they didn’t have it easy in their time and they made that very clear. There was no one to give them tips on how they should go about handling the different situations that faced them. Be it school, profession, dating, marriage, parenting … you name it. They always told me that they followed their instincts on whatever felt right and if it turned out wrong, you just work your way through it, alone. There was no one to tell them how to do what they did, there were barely any mentors or even people to motivate them, like we do now.

Tweet, Empower, Youth, Mentorship

The thing that amazes me most about them is that they never forget where they came from. They look back and see what they lacked and they want to make it different for the next generation. They tell us the stories, but they don’t dwell on them. They tell us so that we can be better than they were and do better than they did. They tell us that we have greater opportunities than they did and that we’re better off because we have them to guide us. Your folks have so much knowledge it’s ridiculous. If you say you don’t have a mentor, turn to your folks, your uncles, your aunties, your older friends. They might not be billionaires but they have a wealth of experience and knowledge that can help you become that billionaire that they didn’t become.

Why do you think they ensure that you go to good schools, that they check your report forms and performance in school and bash you when you’re not doing so well? That they want you to figure out what you want to be when you grow up early enough so that you can work towards it? Now it hits me that the question “what do you want to be when you grow up?” was not asked in vain. It comes in handy when we’re chasing our dreams. Dreams are built from a tender age. You might not be what you said you want to be, but at least it helped give you direction. I wanted to be a chef, then a doctor, look at me now, I’m a content girl.

Does that mean I haven’t gotten to where I wanted to be, I don’t think so. I cook some delish food and I’m still learning. I make home remedies and take care of anyone who’s unwell in my presence. But the fact that I had something I wanted to be, had me working hard even if not to be that, at least in the end of it, I found out what I was passionate about. My folks, they didn’t drill me into it. They guided me, and allowed me to be. But with guidance and constant check up’s on how I’m fairing in whatever I delve into. And for that, I really appreciate.

What made me actually think of this, is my baby sister and the tweet up there. She called and told me how school is just tough and draining, the exams, and how she’s scared of ever failing or not getting a first class honors because that would be letting down the folks. This made my heart sink a bit, because I was once in her shoes, same size, color, texture. Exactly the same.

School was tough. Heck, from primary school, secondary school, undergraduate, postgraduate and certifications. They were all so tough. I’m a last minute person (very bad trait) and I work best under pressure, so sometimes I would end up trans-nighting for exams, because failing wasn’t an option. Oh, I burnt that mid-night oil. School is just school, it never gets easy and you never get used to it. Life, life is also tough, the challenges are in excess. Sometimes I look back and the fact that I got through a certain stage, just makes me smile. Because I realize I’m actually stronger than I think I am and most times, more intelligent than I think I am.

School can make you under-rate yourself, life can make you under-value yourself. But if you encounter and engage the right people, people that empower you, they change how you perceive yourself and you become an over-achiever.

When you feel it’s so tough, because it was tough, school is not the end of the world. Many times, I did an exam that was so hard and I saw stars, but when the results came, I hadn’t done that bad, that made me feel better. Pressure is good, really good, because it give you a push, but don’t succumb to it. Don’t let pressure get to you, you get to it. This also reminds me of a time I was clueless in my programming classes, I just didn’t know how to code. But somehow I cracked it, but I was feeling like I just can’t do this anymore.

The folks, the ones who bash you when you feel like school is just crap, they were there, they just sat beside me as I did my project, asked what the system does because that’s all they could do to encourage me. That alone, gave me psyche to learn, to ask my friends for help, to do better. Let me not blow my trumpets but it went uphill. When work sucked and I just felt like I’ve had enough, the folks talked to me and told me of their experiences and that of their friends, and boy! Did I feel much better? People have gone through worse. Your case is just representative of a fraction. And they, those people they tell you about, those people that went rock-bottom, plus themselves too, they pulled through. You will pull through too.

So today, I just want to tell you, “Go for It, Even When It Seems Impossible. Simply because you can.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

 

Valentines Day’s Surprises

I was looking through my Valentine’s posts to see what I used to say on the last few ones for the few years I’ve been blogging. Honestly though, since my birthday is 2 weeks before, or thereabout, Valentines day has never been a day that I’m really keen on. It’s still Birthday month, the excitement is still there. Plus, I think it’s over rated. And so does my boyfriend.

Why?

Because, I’m of this school of thought, “if he/she doesn’t show you or display love every other day, why choose one day to do it?” That’s my reservation. I’ve always thought love is something that’s consistent, always. Whether you’re happy or mad, love is somewhere in there. It’s not a one day thing. Then again, maybe that’s the day that the world choose to acknowledge love in a loud way. With a touch of red to signify some passion of sorts, so I’m not complaining.

For me, it’s always a normal day because, well, nothing about me really changes. We’re still handling the same stuff, loving the same people, so there’s nothing to hate about the day. Besides, it’s always nice to wish someone something fun and different like #HappyValentines. I think I told everyone I talked to on phone #HappyValentines until my office desk-mate was like, what’s up with that? But, Why not that? It’s an act of kindness and concern. Ha! I’m that babe.

Anyhow, the boyfriend, who is not for all things valentines, like me. Now that we share a birthday and as mentioned above, excitement is still on board. He really surprised me. Let’s start with the part that, everyone knows I’m not a big fan of roses or anything that calls for attention, and flowers really do. They make me cringe,  feel like hiding under the table and many other things that shy people feel yes internally, I’m very shy. He’d didn’t take that too seriously, thank God, or he chose to try and see my reaction, I don’t know. But, he sent flowers over, with a card and my favorite white chocolates *slurp*.

How it unfolded: The cleaning lady came over to tell me I have a visitor. I didn’t have any meetings booked for that time of the day. So I ask her, “a dude or a chic” and she’s like “a dude” of course not in that lingo, but “a man”. Ai! And she goes like “he also has a package”. Haha, I didn’t expect a visitor and especially not one with a package. But I’m nice I really am, vanity, so I decided, “let me just go confirm that it’s Kawira not Kawiria”. People have a habit of confusing those two names.

I go to the reception, and I see a bouquet of roses, with a card and chocolates O_o. I’m not saying that my boo ain’t romantic or anything, he is. But that package, we’re not valentines people, at least not like that. I’d even let him off on such. My birthday and Christmas, those are a no brainer, but valentines, nah, that can pass. Then I see his handwriting on the card, but I still need to confirm the name and phone number, you know, just in case.

And, they were MINE! I once said I hate flowers and surprises but all that hate flew out of the window. I love flowers and surprises, from him, I more than love them. That was a super surprise. He wins!

MyV

Later on in the evening, we went for dinner at Peppers Restaurant with our friends. He was our valentine’s date, that was 4 and ½ (our little Diva) girls, with lots of good food and laughter. Nothing beats sharing that with friends, it’s a day not necessarily just for couples, but also for friends too. Show them some love, because they are all-so-deserving. Enough to call it a day perhaps because I was too full, but not to full to do an informal photo shoot at the parking lot. And that wrapped up the week. How was your day?

To make your weekend even better, here’s a link to a play list. It’s everything … for a pop & R&B head like me! You can try the 2014 one after.

Have an amazing weekend. Lot’s of love, light & peace from the person behind the screen.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

This Year…

There’s some internal inexplicable excitement that comes with publishing a new post on a New Month, better yet a New Year. Ask any blogger. However, sometimes trying to figure out what to write about can be brutally taxing or you can even know what you want to write about but you’re unable to put it into context. Problems. Makes me think of more money, more problems. In this case, more ideas, more problems.

I had an amazing “jumping of the year” time. We actually didn’t have a solid plan so to say, because we were both working on the eve. The least we knew is that if all else fails, we have each other to entertain. But nothing failed. We started with going for dinner and as we made our orders, our friends coincidentally were also coming to have dinner at the same place. The more the merrier, we ate, chatted, laughed, damn! The food at Peppers is annoyingly delicious and overly satisfying. Then after that, it was to dance the night away and have a good time. The Kenyans who weren’t at the Coast or Naivasha, were at K1. It was amaze-balls. Good music, good people, lots of dancing (those who know me, know that I barely sit when at the club). For me, it was the perfect end to the year and start of another. Thanking God for the good time and asking him to bless 2014.

The following day, we got to spend it with my folks and the baby sister. I had really missed them because they had gone upcountry for the Christmas holiday without me (due to work). Nothing beats catching up with them, that feeling, that feeling is contentful, or if there’s no word like that, satisfying on the extreme. Just seeing them happy, makes my heart glow. Anyhow, as I was doing my random internet rounds, look what I stumbled upon. A fun way of setting goals for the year, quite plain and simple. At least it doesn’t have you racking your brains.

A bad habit I’m going to break: Snoozing – I get lazy to wake up early even when I’ve run out of sleep. I’d rather just close my eyes and imagine myself asleep.

A new skill I’d like to learn: Bake. I’d love to bake those delish cupcakes and spongy cakes. I really would.

A person I hope to be more like: Let me do me. I still have so much potential to be a better me. I haven’t played my best version yet.

A good deed I’m going to do: Give back to my parents. Not pay back, just give back, I can never pay back. It’s immeasurable . The much they’ve done for me, they will always more than deserve it.

A place I’d like to visit: South Africa – Table Mountains and Sun City. I got there but I did a half-baked trip. I didn’t manage to go to all the beautiful places. Closer home – Turtle Bay at Watamu.

A book I’d like to read: Any book written by Richard Branson. Perhaps I could start with “Screw It – Let’s Do it”. I feel mature enough to read his books now. Did anyone else feel like that? Like Branson was coming to hard and you were not ready? I did, but now I want to go for it and I need some motivation.

A letter I’m going to write: To the mister. I will, sometime. I haven’t done that yet so it’ll be a good first. Plus, with all these technology, there’s something about hand written stuff. I’m always curious about people’s handwriting’s.

A new food I’d like to try: I have never done sea food. I secretly would like to try it, though I cringe at the thought of it. How do guys feed those slimy things? “Molluscs (octopus and shellfish), crustaceans (shrimp and lobster), echinoderms (sea cucumber and sea urchins)” -> Eek! They remind me of my high-school biology, those classifications and terms make them sound inedible.

I’m going to do better at: Keeping my word. I say much (to myself and to others), I’d like to do just as much. Even those things that I say and I’m not able to do for one reason or another, I’d still want to have it in my to-do list and strive towards keeping my word.

You could also try it out and share. Feels like an easier and more fun way to almost summarize things that occupy your mind. List to this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCaNfQry8GU. Have a lovely day and I wish you the best.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

A Momentary Thrill

Ever had a certain “socially awkward” habit that you’ve developed over time which comes due to exposure to a certain environment? It’s placed neither here nor there, but it gives you a momentary thrill. Well, in my time at International House, I developed one. I had never done it before, but the power of the shutter right before the elevator doors are flang open and someone checks in, that’s something. A sly one, because sometimes it would make me want to lock someone out of the elevator so that I can take a selfie. I would be that girl who enters the elevator and should I find myself alone, I am so tempted to run to the ‘><‘ button so that I can have the elevator all to myself *evil grin*. Yes, elevator selfies (note that, ‘selfie‘ is now a universally accepted word, in the English dictionary), I didn’t post them on social media, but well I guess now I am.

Elevator Selfies

I just thought, I can’t have all these selfies and do nothing with them (or delete them after all that effort I invested), hence the collage. Of course I’m not that lucky enough to find myself in an elevator alone, but there’s once I happened to have 2 other colleagues who shared in my “thrill” and welcomed the idea, and we had a group elevator selfie. Such an achievement. By the way, if you’re getting worried, I’m not insane (or is that what insane people say? LOL). What’s your “socially awkward” habit? That one that gives you the momentary thrill? Do you dance in the elevator, make conversations with your alter ego or imaginary crush, make funny faces…

I’m sure we all have that thing we do when we think no-one’s watching. While at it, did you know part of your (if not all) character is made up by what you do when you think no one else is watching. In case you didn’t know yourself, just observe, check yourself out, what do you do when no one’s looking out for you. Now, that’s you. I came to accept myself for who I am.

Have a superb week lovelies!

 Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*      

Crossing the Bridge

Do you ever find yourself getting worried or anxious about later, about tomorrow, about the future? Like you don’t know what will happen next, where and when you’ll get this to do that, whether whatever it is will work out or not and if it does or doesn’t then what next? I do. I think I’ve always gotten worried or anxious about most things in my life, at least from when I started fending for myself. Before I guess the only thing that really used to get me worried sick (okay not so) were exams. Now there’s a lot of stuff to think about, besides exams. Like how to get bread and butter on my table, all of which are not free, including the table. Funny how even when I should be rejoicing about a certain achievement, somewhere in the far off corner of my mind, there’s that black pitless hole that keeps blocking that faculty that should get rid of any anxiety or worry. Just when I tell myself, “cross that bridge when you get there”, the hole, swallows it up and out of the blues am thinking, a few weeks from now, one month from now, 5 years from now.

Cross the Bridge

You know how you can be driving on a road, actually let me give you an ideal example. We used to live in Lower Kabete and just right before Spring Valley there was a valley oh wow duh, yeah and it almost looked like a bridge with those sideline thingies. However, they were dented and had fallen out parts of the sideline poles either due to old age or accidents. For me, that was my black spot. Every time I’d think that we’re going to pass there every bad thought that could cross my mind did. Like what if we have an accident and plunge into the river, drown and die *cringe*. Of course that never happened, but those thoughts used to totally cloud my mind. For a very long time. Then at one point because I had now gotten used to passing there and nothing happening, I got over that phobia. It became pointless being anxious or worried about it. It became my favorite road actually to the point I thought I could drive with my eyes closed that remains a thought

Now comes life, the same thing happens. We get so anxious and worried about so many things, even things that we shouldn’t burden ourselves with. Of course it’s good to take precaution and all for the future. Like work towards making it as comfortable as possible. Yet again tomorrow shouldn’t be our worry as long as we are doing what we’re supposed to do today in the best of our ability. Ain’t it? Aren’t you jealous of the birds? How they fly around so carefree and perch wherever they feel like even at your porch. I guess it’s because their main worry is how they are going to get through their day. They build nests like everywhere they go and I’m pretty sure building a nest is not an easy job as well. If only birds could speak and tell us their story. But I like how they travel light, no worry at all, just let it be. You should see my handbag now, you’d think I’m carrying stones in it. Living by the scouts motto, be prepared. You carry for if ‘this and that’ happens. Or if I’m travelling and I pack everything in doubles, just in case (I see you there, you do the same huh?)

worry, anxiety, birds

Sometimes I don’t want to worry or be anxious about tomorrow, but then again I’m just human. I think we have an inbuilt the “be anxious and worry” function. At least I have come to realize that when I find myself feeling that way, I tell myself, “the bridge is too far to worry about it, let’s deal with it when we get there”. That bridge might be a strong one, enough to hold you and all your problems then. But if you worry about it today, there’s nothing you’re really changing about that bridge…makes a bit of sense no?

Today already has enough problems of its own that when you start foreseeing the problems that are yet to come, we miss the good things and opportunities that today has to offer.

Having a good week so far? It’s already half month, wow! Have a good one. A silent prayer for all those friends who’ve lost their loved ones, who are unwell or have a close friend or family member that’s unwell, and those that are just sad for one reason or another. May God bless y’all.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Random Mumblings

If it were you…but it’s not, lucky you.

Would you go to school with this lousy weather?

I went to to school with that lousy weather.

Would you brave the rain just to attend the lecture?

The rain had ceased, so there was nothing to brave really…lol

Would you find it worth the try, the traffic, the wetness, the process of getting there?

It wasn’t that worth it, but the process was smooth, not as complicated that I’d thought it out to be.

Would you go to that class thinking you should have just gone home?

The traffic was a mess, plus it was muddy. So not really.

Would you enjoy the class?

Yesterdays lecturer can be a pain, but I enjoyed discussing politics and servant leadership in organisations and relating it to Kenya (we are so messed up it’s frightening.)

Would you regret choosing that option?

I didn’t regret it, at least it kept me busy and dry

That’s what running through my mind before and after class. I don’t really feel like going to school and the rain happens to be the perfect excuse right about now but it happened to stop. As I battle with my thoughts which are definitely biased towards going home, let’s see how this one goes. My conscience was killing me so I ended up in school. I’m one of those good girls most of the time…lol

Well, with life comes choices which we should firmly stand by once chosen. You own it. You own your choices, so it make sense to think through them. Trying to see if my answers to any of those questions makes enough sense to support the decision I make. You’ve seen what I did there? Not answering this question is too main stream. I saw what I did there, the answers to support going home didn’t add up, ended up feeling guilty and I needed to own my decision. School it was eventually (better late than never).

Hope your week is going well so far despite the almost predictable lousy weather. Dress warm and be fuzzy to deal. Have a tamu *sweet* Wednesday!

Mines more than awesome. Was on some “gourmet dinner (*something* turkey and rice with a glass of cold ribena) thanks to him who’s a supper chef. Yummers!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*