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A Small Gift, Mini-Afro and Big Lesson

Of those gifts you receive and appreciate because its the thought that really counts, but at that moment you disregard it’s function. I’m sure you’ve received such a gift, no? It’s value is not felt immediately. You probably get home and stack it away in your closet hoping that it comes to be of use. Sometimes you just keep it because it’s a gift and it has some sentimental value.

Well, I don’t receive too many gifts, and especially not at random times of the year. This time, when I chopped my hair, my former colleagues gifted me with a metallic afro comb and a flower hair clip, that was a first. My hair was at base level, so the gift didn’t make sense then. I was all grins because it was a gift and which girl doesn’t love gifts? Whether big or small or if it makes sense or no sense.

Then my hair grew to mini-Afro level and my finger combing tactics were getting a little out dated. It just wasn’t working any more and my hair would get tangled up or look pretty untidy. Then one day as I oil my hair, stacked at the back of my made up “dressing corner” I see the that thing we can equate to “an oasis in the desert”, the metallic Afro comb. Then Arufeni’s wise words came to mind, “you’ll need this sometime” and the time was then.

Afro, Gifts, Blessings, Life Lesson

Moral of the story, sometimes we receive our blessings way ahead of time and they don’t make sense then. We have to go through a phase or a season for the blessing to reveal itself and make itself useful in your life in its time. Don’t trash or undervalue gifts given to you just yet. Receive them, keep them and give them time to mature. Give them time to bring value to your life, because that’s the intention of the gift-giver. While you receive physical gifts from loved ones, blessings are your gifts from God. That’s how he shows you some love, most times, it’s through other people.

Thank you Arufeni and Lydia, now I see the value of the comb. It might have been a small gesture, but it has taught me a big lesson.

Signing Off ~~~*Kawi*

A Momentary Thrill

Ever had a certain “socially awkward” habit that you’ve developed over time which comes due to exposure to a certain environment? It’s placed neither here nor there, but it gives you a momentary thrill. Well, in my time at International House, I developed one. I had never done it before, but the power of the shutter right before the elevator doors are flang open and someone checks in, that’s something. A sly one, because sometimes it would make me want to lock someone out of the elevator so that I can take a selfie. I would be that girl who enters the elevator and should I find myself alone, I am so tempted to run to the ‘><‘ button so that I can have the elevator all to myself *evil grin*. Yes, elevator selfies (note that, ‘selfie‘ is now a universally accepted word, in the English dictionary), I didn’t post them on social media, but well I guess now I am.

Elevator Selfies

I just thought, I can’t have all these selfies and do nothing with them (or delete them after all that effort I invested), hence the collage. Of course I’m not that lucky enough to find myself in an elevator alone, but there’s once I happened to have 2 other colleagues who shared in my “thrill” and welcomed the idea, and we had a group elevator selfie. Such an achievement. By the way, if you’re getting worried, I’m not insane (or is that what insane people say? LOL). What’s your “socially awkward” habit? That one that gives you the momentary thrill? Do you dance in the elevator, make conversations with your alter ego or imaginary crush, make funny faces…

I’m sure we all have that thing we do when we think no-one’s watching. While at it, did you know part of your (if not all) character is made up by what you do when you think no one else is watching. In case you didn’t know yourself, just observe, check yourself out, what do you do when no one’s looking out for you. Now, that’s you. I came to accept myself for who I am.

Have a superb week lovelies!

 Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*      

Crossing the Bridge

Do you ever find yourself getting worried or anxious about later, about tomorrow, about the future? Like you don’t know what will happen next, where and when you’ll get this to do that, whether whatever it is will work out or not and if it does or doesn’t then what next? I do. I think I’ve always gotten worried or anxious about most things in my life, at least from when I started fending for myself. Before I guess the only thing that really used to get me worried sick (okay not so) were exams. Now there’s a lot of stuff to think about, besides exams. Like how to get bread and butter on my table, all of which are not free, including the table. Funny how even when I should be rejoicing about a certain achievement, somewhere in the far off corner of my mind, there’s that black pitless hole that keeps blocking that faculty that should get rid of any anxiety or worry. Just when I tell myself, “cross that bridge when you get there”, the hole, swallows it up and out of the blues am thinking, a few weeks from now, one month from now, 5 years from now.

Cross the Bridge

You know how you can be driving on a road, actually let me give you an ideal example. We used to live in Lower Kabete and just right before Spring Valley there was a valley oh wow duh, yeah and it almost looked like a bridge with those sideline thingies. However, they were dented and had fallen out parts of the sideline poles either due to old age or accidents. For me, that was my black spot. Every time I’d think that we’re going to pass there every bad thought that could cross my mind did. Like what if we have an accident and plunge into the river, drown and die *cringe*. Of course that never happened, but those thoughts used to totally cloud my mind. For a very long time. Then at one point because I had now gotten used to passing there and nothing happening, I got over that phobia. It became pointless being anxious or worried about it. It became my favorite road actually to the point I thought I could drive with my eyes closed that remains a thought

Now comes life, the same thing happens. We get so anxious and worried about so many things, even things that we shouldn’t burden ourselves with. Of course it’s good to take precaution and all for the future. Like work towards making it as comfortable as possible. Yet again tomorrow shouldn’t be our worry as long as we are doing what we’re supposed to do today in the best of our ability. Ain’t it? Aren’t you jealous of the birds? How they fly around so carefree and perch wherever they feel like even at your porch. I guess it’s because their main worry is how they are going to get through their day. They build nests like everywhere they go and I’m pretty sure building a nest is not an easy job as well. If only birds could speak and tell us their story. But I like how they travel light, no worry at all, just let it be. You should see my handbag now, you’d think I’m carrying stones in it. Living by the scouts motto, be prepared. You carry for if ‘this and that’ happens. Or if I’m travelling and I pack everything in doubles, just in case (I see you there, you do the same huh?)

worry, anxiety, birds

Sometimes I don’t want to worry or be anxious about tomorrow, but then again I’m just human. I think we have an inbuilt the “be anxious and worry” function. At least I have come to realize that when I find myself feeling that way, I tell myself, “the bridge is too far to worry about it, let’s deal with it when we get there”. That bridge might be a strong one, enough to hold you and all your problems then. But if you worry about it today, there’s nothing you’re really changing about that bridge…makes a bit of sense no?

Today already has enough problems of its own that when you start foreseeing the problems that are yet to come, we miss the good things and opportunities that today has to offer.

Having a good week so far? It’s already half month, wow! Have a good one. A silent prayer for all those friends who’ve lost their loved ones, who are unwell or have a close friend or family member that’s unwell, and those that are just sad for one reason or another. May God bless y’all.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Random Mumblings

If it were you…but it’s not, lucky you.

Would you go to school with this lousy weather?

I went to to school with that lousy weather.

Would you brave the rain just to attend the lecture?

The rain had ceased, so there was nothing to brave really…lol

Would you find it worth the try, the traffic, the wetness, the process of getting there?

It wasn’t that worth it, but the process was smooth, not as complicated that I’d thought it out to be.

Would you go to that class thinking you should have just gone home?

The traffic was a mess, plus it was muddy. So not really.

Would you enjoy the class?

Yesterdays lecturer can be a pain, but I enjoyed discussing politics and servant leadership in organisations and relating it to Kenya (we are so messed up it’s frightening.)

Would you regret choosing that option?

I didn’t regret it, at least it kept me busy and dry

That’s what running through my mind before and after class. I don’t really feel like going to school and the rain happens to be the perfect excuse right about now but it happened to stop. As I battle with my thoughts which are definitely biased towards going home, let’s see how this one goes. My conscience was killing me so I ended up in school. I’m one of those good girls most of the time…lol

Well, with life comes choices which we should firmly stand by once chosen. You own it. You own your choices, so it make sense to think through them. Trying to see if my answers to any of those questions makes enough sense to support the decision I make. You’ve seen what I did there? Not answering this question is too main stream. I saw what I did there, the answers to support going home didn’t add up, ended up feeling guilty and I needed to own my decision. School it was eventually (better late than never).

Hope your week is going well so far despite the almost predictable lousy weather. Dress warm and be fuzzy to deal. Have a tamu *sweet* Wednesday!

Mines more than awesome. Was on some “gourmet dinner (*something* turkey and rice with a glass of cold ribena) thanks to him who’s a supper chef. Yummers!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Weird Girliness

Tis the end of the Octo month, but not the end of creating awareness on cancer and how it can be detected early. Let’s not take these things for granted, I know I also forget. Though, the more we talk about it, it acts as a reminder to many.

It’s Halloween too and am sure enough most of us me included don’t really know what it’s all about. Except the part where there are lots of pumpkins, costume parties, scary stories and the best of all, lots and lots of candy from trick-or-treating. All thanks to movies. That’s one of the main reasons I would love to be where they celebrate. I would probably just dress up like a kid and do kiddy things like go trick-or-treating. A few years ago one of my cousins visited us right after Halloween and she brought us a whole months supply of candy. Am talking mars, snickers, m&m’s, haribo’s and the likes…yumminess galore! (A shout out to Wanja, I still recall).

Halloween is not a culture that’s adopted here, in Kenya I mean. So I won’t even go into it. For us, it’s just another day to be on the grind and hustle. No parties, no candy but there’s always a constant supply of scary stories…lol.

Halloween, Monkey, October

Well, maybe I could take this opportunity to tell you 3 things that I think make me a weirdo girly girl. You know those things that would make you think you’re a girl so you should be into them like the way it’s supposed to be, but I am not.

1. Nail Polish

I have never understood girls obsession with nail polish, this includes my baby sister. I have never been into it, but I have tried to force the trend. I even go ahead and buy the polish that’s in it. Spend between KES 300 – 500 on some good polish and it goes stays on my dresser for a while, say until my sister comes over and does her nails.

I am patient, but I don’t extend my patience to waiting for the polish to dry.

I do lots of miscellaneous housework that involves touching water so I prefer plain trim nails. If the hairdresser insist, I do the colorless polish. I hate how polish looks good when you apply it then smudges, scratches or chips after a few hours or days. That means removing and reapplying … Ai! No need.

2. Make-Up

I just can’t. I have not really tried it on a regular day, say once I tried mascara, which was a massive fail because that means I couldn’t touch or “itch” my eyes. Another thing is, how I dress up in 15-30 mins or less depending on how much I snooze, make up would mean I have to wake up earlier or else it would be Halloween everyday…lol. Or maybe am not yet grown up enough, nothing to conceal, I don’t know. The only time I attempted make up was at my cousin’s wedding, which am sure I’d wiped off by the time the occasion began. Lip-gloss is enough make up for me.

3. Shopping

Yes, it’s retail therapy, ooh some gooood therapy so to say! However, I am more of an impulse buyer than a planned and organised shopper. Every time I plan to go shopping, unless I have involved a dedicated shopper in my plan, that plan goes undone. I do it out of dire need or desperation (I was avoiding that word), but really when I’m like, “I really need shoes or  a coat or …” then I have to go search. In which case, I don’t go looking around much, I probably have a place in mind. It’s like I have some sort of telepathy with whatever it is I want, I don’t have to search long and hard, I just come across it.

Some inspiration for the day. Ooh almost forgot to mention, I love color. At least that one cancels off some weirdo-ness no?

Girl, dreams, plans, ability, woman

 

Have a beautiful end of month. Take someone out for some shake and cake, scrape off that crave.

Signing Off ~~~ Kawi

A Lil’ Random

Well, totally depsyched to do the TGIF thingie today. Youtube was blocked…oh and facebook…and anything else that’s under the ‘dating and matrimony’ or ‘entertainment’ *laugh at me now*. Why do they do that, I just listen to music, not watch the videos and I try not to misuse facebook and I bet am a nice employee by all means *sob sob*. Anyhow, now am stuck to songs on my iPod, getting in touch with my kind once again. There must be a reason I (or my baby sister) populated the library, thank God, so am just getting accustomed to it.

In the same spirit, I’ll do things differently. Like an ‘I wish upon a little star’ kind of thing. Remember the Disney song,

“…When you wish upon a star /Makes no difference who you are / Anything your heart desires / Will come to you / If your heart is in your dream / No request is too extreme / When you wish upon a star /As dreamers do / Fate is kind / She brings to those who love / The sweet fulfillment of their secret longing / Like a bolt out of the blue / Fate steps in and sees you through / When you wish upon a star / Your dreams come true…”

When it rains and you don’t want the rain to reach to you, when you wish there were umbrella’s covering all your paths or you were just in the mood to dance in the rain and have no care if you got wet, cold or caught a flu. That’s me speaking in parables right there, but you can just take the surface meaning, I mean that too.

Some random thoughts, wishes, tell-a-tale … just something writable.

Getting to understand someone else who is not you and you want a life together, making some decision together, considering them in whatever you do and so on, is the most ‘roller-coaster-y’ ride ever. Let’s just say there’s times you’re on a high and there’s times you’re on a low and there’s times you’re just easy like on normal level. You have to contain all those moments and at the end of the day be happy with the world. That my dear friends, is what a relationship is, and this is just theory…lol. You just need two people who always want to work it out, that’s what it is.

On that note my parents celebrated their 28th wedding anniversary on 1st September *whoop whoop*. They are my living proof that two people who are completely different can be there for each other and with each other for that long. Through basically everything.

We all have weaknesses no?I bet it’s something we can’t avoid. It’s something that other people won’t like in us or something even we don’t like in ourselves. What if we worked on those weaknesses and either turned them into strengths or found a way in which they can work to our advantage.

I saw some really HOT bag sometime ago and I’ve been really thinking about it you know at the back of my head, then I was like, I’ll just give it time and when I go check again and it’s still there, then it’s really meant to be mine. Today over lunch, I went to check it out as a by the way just to show my friend and guess what? It was still there. The universe is speaking to me, plus the price was lesser and am planning to bargain for lesser than lesser…hehe

I am starting my thesis this semester *cringe* am at that point where you come up with your topic and select a supervisor. So by the end of this semester I need to have a proposal and defend it *cringe again*. I hope and wish that it’ll be a swish for me and I’ll make a killer proposal and that I finish the whole thing in due time.

I wish we were we given the freedom to come up with our own language or lingo, because I pretty much make up my own weird words. It makes whatever am saying sound more interesting. It’s like adding sugar and spice to the words that flow out of my mind and through my mouth and fingers…am that culprit and am less guilty.

Word are just that, words. Actions are what determine if the words have meaning. Although words also make or break, so just be ware of what you say, to whom you say it to and when you say it. Like they say, there’s a time for everything. I’m learning to hold my tongue in cheek when I am about to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. I’m one of those people who just says because it needs to be said without much care I must have gotten that from my dad…lol.

Sometime I feel like am the worst friend, am I the only one who’s bad in keeping in touch? Someone please console me. I do try though. It doesn’t help that also communicating with people is not my forte. Ps: that when I am physically there with people am like AWESOME ha ha but emails, chats, texts someone shoot me or maybe just call me. I need to style up and be all rounded, right? Anyway, I’m working on that.

Thanking God for who I am and all I’ve got. There are some people who pray for just a portion of what you have and you just don’t know, so don’t take anything for granted.

“’Thank you’ is the best prayer that anyone could say. I say that one a lot. Thank you expresses extreme gratitude, humility, understanding” ~ Alice Walker

Enough of exposing myself. It’s a super day, so Thank God It’s Friday. Despite no Youtube, the song of the day courtesy of the iPod is :  Nick Lachley – What’s Left of Me, I love! Ps: I hope the link I’ve put is the right one, I just googled it.

Quote of the day

And as usual, have an awesome one full of living, loving and laughing. No sad faces, okay, just gotten instant psyche, coffee has nothing on it. Be blessed!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Monday Yellows *T.G.I.M*

Shift your perception of Monday mornings. Thank God It’s Monday, just like we do Fridays no? . As I have shamlessly stolen the excerpt from from some blog post. It passed the message to me, just what I needed to read and because I care for my readers much *this is the part where you smile sheepishly* I thought to share it with you so that you can also try look at Monday from a different angle. More from the yellow side, not the convectional blue. You get me yah!

“Look forward to the new week as an opportunity for growth, as a chance to add motivation to your purpose and invigorate your passion with a newfound vitality.  Tuesday, do the work.  Wednesday, make sure that your work is fresh and exciting.  Thursday,  you can help another person with something they are struggling with, something that you’re in a unique position to help them with.  Friday, look at what you’ve done, finish what needs to be finished, and TGIF, making sure that three days later, you don’t forget to TGIM.”~ Credits. You can read the rest there, and maybe try out the challenge as well.

How do you make today special?  How do you look forward to the present? (I’ll probably think about this and start out the challenge, it seems interesting. Gives you more reason why your days shouldn’t be as dull as today’s weather…meeeh! The sun needs to come out *brrrrr*)

Super week to y’all and blessings!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*