Like You? Would You?

 

Has this ever crossed your mind -> What if you were told to go on a date with yourself? Do you think you would like you? Would you enjoy your company or would you feel like forcing a fork down your throat because of how bored you’ll get. Maybe it’s about time you experienced what your friends have to go through *evil grin*

Test it and see how that goes. You know the full cuppa hot chocolate since I’m not a tea fan, with cookies and an imaginary you. Okay, that sounds cray but hey how else will you do it. It’s not every day that people are going to be there for you, you know the ones that you think that will always be there. I mean they also have their stuff going on.

So you should be able to be there for yourself and not pity yourself when people those people you count on are not there? For whatever reasons you have to learn this things the hard way, pretty sure it’s happened to you one time or another. It’s happened to me a dozen of times. The times you expect people to be there it could be on your birthday, when you’re going through ish or you’re just happy and you want to share … they could also be all up in their business too and guess who’s left to be there for you? YOU.

You have to find the joy inside of yourself. Make your self laugh, dress up, be able to just chill out, reflect, be in touch with yourself, know how to love you. Basically be there for yourself. For only then, will you be able to know how to be there for others and it’s importance. Difficult as it seems, yes it is, it’s much fun or so it seems when you have someone or people there to help you out, to chill with, have a good laugh with but what if they are not there. Sulk? Be sad? No! Be happy and go on as usual!

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” ~  Lucille Ball

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Dandy December

Have you ever had an picture but you don’t have a story, or maybe you have a story but you don’t know how to put it down, but you still want to have it up. Oh well, that’s me today. I have had this picture for the longest time and I’ve always wondered how to use it. So it’s being lying in my blog pics folder and I just keep wondering, “Picture, I really want to use you … but how, when, at least I know where”

November was that month for me that can be best described by the royal tears. Funny enough as mentioned earlier, I’m a natural crier … lol but this month anything that got me anywhere close to crying would get a “really?”, or “No ,you’re not!” or “Not now”. From the loss of my uncle, to ‘minor’ heart breaks, too much to handle, home-sickness, loneliness, boredom, just because.

All in all, if there’s one thing about me, is that I’m an optimist. There’s always a reason for everything including those stupid decision made in one case or another which I think everyone does. What matters is what lessons you learn at the end of them all. However, the most important is not to forget to thank God for the blessings too, because failure to see those, you don’t see the beauty of life.

November Lessons 

• Life is short. It doesn’t matter how old you are, the impact is still the same.
• Open your eyes, use your brains and protect your heart.
• Be careful who you open up to. Only a few people actually care, the rest are just curious.
• It could have been worse
• Learn from every mistake and think about it over and over, so that the next time you’re about to repeat it, you feel stupid.
• If you fall and stumble, don’t let it get you. Let it be your inspiration.
• There are friends for a reason, a season and a lifetime. Accept that and move on or move in.
• If you’re not supposed to be in it, then it won’t work out. I think it’s the way of the universe giving you hints.
• Whatever you do, if it comes from your heart, then all is good. If it fails, chances are that you won’t regret it.
• Actions speak louder than words.
• Life is what you make of it, smile with the world it smiles back at you … frown at it, it will most definitely frown back at you.
• Whatever happens to you, just know you’re not the first nor the last. It always gets better eventually. I don’t know how but somehow it does.
• Lastly,

November Blessings

• Life and life in abundance – Good health, beautiful person in and out.
• My family is my number one supporter.
• Awesome friends, who are there for you, who think of you, who check up on you.
• People who think the world of you.
• I’m able to juggle work and school, it’s crazy I say.
• Fun photo-shoot ( here and here ), fun coast trip.  Plus it had been a while since I swam, that was a blissful moment, should do it more often.
• I enjoy what I do … makes waking up in the morning much easier.
• Awesome colleagues.
• Good music – for what would we do without music? It speaks to me. When no one else knows what to say when to say, music does.
• The ability to express myself in writing.
• For being me … I’m social, smiley, loving and I pray nothing changes who I am. It makes everything much much easy.

December is here

So let’s see … December, December, December. It’s come along so fast … jeez! I ain’t complaining, but you know it’s the indicator that the year has come to an end. Any how, it’s also that month that comes with goodies and fun times. Plus at least 3/4 of the people are usually happy, in a holiday and party mood including our bosses *wink*.

Now since it’s finally here, I might as well get into the December program, though I technically don’t have one. What’s with everyone asking what I have planned for Christmas? Am I the only one who never has anything planned? Other than being at home of course, its standard procedure … tihihi

I love that the month is fresh … feels like I’m letting out my spanking new self and here goes my ↓

December Expectation

• Be much smarter – I think the year has had enough lessons on me, now it’s about time I gave back the lessons learnt.
• Finish my exams – Oh my I can’t wait. Still getting used to the whole “Back To School” set up.
• Have fun fun fun – That’s the standard procedure for December, wherever I am, whatever I do … just make sure it’s fun even if it’s sleeping.
• Be a bit random, crash parties, visit people and places, basically ↑
• Make my family and friends happy, have a laugh , catch up – It’s goodie goodie month. Oh, the excitement.

Quote of the day

Someday is why we never say never. It’s the reason we never give up, the reason we never give in. It’s a place in our hearts that can’t be broken, where our dreams always come true and the moment we’ll never let go ~ Justin Bieber

To a Dandy December full of laughter and lots of love! Just the way it’s supposed to be. God Bless Ya’ll … xo!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Yes, I’m a Girl

So I was doing my blog whoring here and there. Sometimes I just follow links from one blog to another looking for interesting reads. Some which I can relate to, others I can learn from, others I can critic but not loudly, others make me laugh and I’m sure to bookmark them. I am easy to please, so some become my favorites and every now and then I go back.

There’s this poem like thing going round the internet, “Yes, I’m a girl”. Actually saw it at this blog and later in some fan pages. It totally got me, because from the 1st to last, that’s so me.

Yes, I’m a girl.

I push doors that clearly say pull.

I laugh harder when I try to explain why i’m laughing.

I walk into a room and forget why I was there.

I count on my fingers in maths.

I hide the pain from my loved ones.

I say it is a long story when it’s really not.

I cry a lot more than you think I do.

I try to do things before the microwave beeps.

I listen to you when you don’t listen to me.

And a hug will always help.

Yes, I am a girl

Then after reading, of course I felt like adding others in as much as I thought what’s said basically sums it all up … but being a girl, there’s always much more … lol

Yes, I’m a girl

I ask why even when I know the reason

I say “it’s okay” when it’s really not okay

I say give me a minute when I actually mean 15 minutes or more

I stare at my wardrobe for ages before deciding what to wear

I blubber when excited and keep quiet when sad

I think and act with my heart

My brain comes into play when it’s a bit too late

I say I don’t know when I actually know

The smallest of things get to me

I can go from normal to not so normal in a few seconds

I read manuals because I’m clueless

I wait for you to call me or text me first

I keep checking my phone or waiting for a beep once I click ‘send’

I hide behind my colors

If I forget, it was not out of choice

Sometimes I don’t say what I mean, but I mean what I say it’s supposed to confuse you

I have a lot running through my head

I cannot capture my thoughts in a simple sentence

Sometimes just a hug and a smiley face will do

Love makes my world go round

Yes, I’m a girl

Quote of the day

Hope the week is fairing well? Don’t forget to give thanks for the blessings seen and unseen.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Of Signs, Love and Life

Random thought : Do you ever think that God sometimes has some serious laughing moments when he listens to our thoughts?

Now, now, now where to begin! This is one of those posts I have been wanting to write for the longest time but I never know exactly how to. I know you’re probably wondering why, well, that’s because it’s about life, love and the irky relationships. If you’ve read my post before, you probably know that I’m one of those people who’s big on relationships and love, but umm not any more.

I have just come to the conclusion that I don’t understand the whole concept of relationships and chances are that I was probably not cut out for it, but since I most definitely don’t want to be a nun or celibate, I will need to figure it out some day *read sooner than later*. You know how sometimes you want to try figure yourself out without having to ask others, yeah, that’s was an epiphany I had, now that sometimes my mind is usually on an overdrive.

Ever heard of the zodiac signs?

The signs of the Zodiac can give us great insights into our day to day living as well as the many talents and special qualities we posses where you can discover a great deal of relevant information about yourself, get to know things like why you are so attached to your possessions or why you are so emotional and so on.

You can also learn as much as you can about the traits of the different sun signs and make your life flow smoother because you understand the motives behind Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra , Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius and Pisces. In case you didn’t know there are 12 of them.

The funniest thing is that I used to think that these zodiac signs are the most stupid things ever. Until I grew up I got myself reading through my dear zodiac sign, Aquarius! And 3/4 if not all the things I was reading I was left in awe because that’s so me, I was like this O_O the whole time. Of course there’s those one or two things where I’m a bit different thanks to factors such as family, background, experience and so on. Then I started reading others peoples signs and I’m like, “Jeez! If I had read this stuff before”. Then I would know what I am getting myself into when dating or befriending some people and maybe it would’ve been much much easier than it was.

And the more I read them, the more I’m like how do people with such different traits even manage to be together … It’s just depressing. You know how a person whose a loner “ingoing” dates someone who’s outgoing … And the loner wants time to themselves and this other one wants to hang out with the loner (of course it would end up being annoying for both) or if it’s two loners then they’ll stay apart because they all want to be alone, if it’s two outgoing guys then there’s going to definitely be something wrong somewhere because there needs to be one who’s a bit relaxed (I’m just guessing) … see why I say I don’t get this! This is just one very random complex example.

Hahaha *evil grin* So of late I’ve been asking my friends their birthday dates or for the ones that I know, I have checked out some of their traits from the zodiac signs and guess what … some are totally matching *scary huh* but what’s better than having an idea of what you should be expecting from people? Maybe it will make disappointment easier to handle, or at least you will know what it is about them that’s going to disappoint you or make you happy and if your traits and theirs can at least get along and if not, what you need to do to compromise like be more persistent, more patient and stuff like that.

Anyway since I can’t keep running away forever, I’ll have to learn how to deal with the “completely opposite to me” people, dealing with disappointments. Considering I also have flaws, as much as I’m running from certain disappointments, I could also be a disappointment to someone … tihihi! I don’t want to grow old and alone, that’s pretty boring so can this fairy tales we used to watch when we were young just happen … Kiss a frog and it turns into a prince or the knight in shinning armor comes to save this damsel in distress. If wishes were horses, clearly weaves would be non-existent and they definitely aren’t *snaps back to reality*.

QUOTES OF THE DAY  got to be a bit positive you know :p 

“Life is about trusting your feelings and taking chances, losing and finding happiness, appreciating the memories, learning from the past, and realizing people change.”

“We think there is always a tomorrow, so why expose our feelings today? Why risk being vulnerable? Why take the chance? Because today, what we love, what we feel, what is real, is what we have. Tomorrow, it may all change.”

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Girlfriends *Irreplaceable*

When we were kids, and anti-boys we would have girl cliques, girl sports, girl stuff going on but as we grow older and older, it all starts to fade … we get boyfriends and new friends (who are mostly boys) … and somehow we all go separate ways. No meeting, no pep talk chats , no small girl cliques, no being there for each other, no more stupid stunts … the boys take more priority in our lives.

I am not excluding myself from this category because I’m one of those girls who’ve done that. Truth be told I learnt my lessons the hard way, but I’m glad I did. Boyfriends are IMPORTANT, I love mine and they can be your everything but really not EVERYTHING, there’s that thing he doesn’t have * HE’S NOT A GIRL*. From my experience, the thing I always said to myself, “Kawi, never disown your friends because of your boyfriend”. The best way to do that, was to make an introduction, and make him meet them so that they can also be friends (thank God it wasn’t so hard, because he’s the friendly kind), then he would appreciate and be okay when I’m with them because they’re an important part of my life.

For my girlfriends,

There are those girly stupid things you want to do but you cannot do them alone and you cannot drag your boyfriend to do, that’s just unfair and today I just want to say, “I thank God for My Girlfriends.”

I might not be the first person they call when they have something going on *good or bad*, maybe they don’t even remember I exist at that moment, but at least when I join them, I feel like the thing I was missing has been found, and it just feels good to be with them. And during this weekend, is when it got me thinking, that honestly, I’m gonna be there for my girlfriends when they need me or at least I will always try to.

*********************************************************************************************

You will meet up for coffee, lunch, dinner and you will start off where you left off … it’s like you’ve always been there, there’s no awkwardness of any sort, no shyness, no pretending … you are just happy and just you.

With men, there’s that awkwardness … there’s the I need to pull myself together, what am I going to wear, how do I look, what do I say … I hope it doesn’t go wrong … yaddi-yadda vibes.

*********************************************************************************************

They will cry with you when you are going through a terrible time or at least they’ll sympathize with you and tell you it’s going to be alright because they have experienced the same, if not going through the same thing — Girls are the ones who help you out of a situation, they are the ones who talk some sense into you…which if a guy tried, he will know better not to…lol

“A good friend is cheaper than therapy”  ~Author Unknown

Cry in front of a guy and he’ll be embarrassed and confused … get yourself together maen! Sympathy … ummm men? *say something*, talk sense … by the time you’re reaching there chances are that you will be considered to be whining a bit too much.

*********************************************************************************************

They will love you for who you are, even if you’re bitchy or being a bum, they will tell you, you are bitching and being a bum, and feel like there’s no love lost.

“You can always tell a real friend:  when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job”  ~Laurence J. Peter

Mr.man try tell a girl she’s being bitchy *OK, don’t try, unless you want your eye gorged out*

*********************************************************************************************

If you’ve gained weight or lost weight they’ll be open with you  … “Chic, you’ve gained so much weight, what are you feeding?” … sounds quite simple, wait until a man says it … hehe

“Cherish the friend who tells you a harsh truth, wanting ten times more to tell you a loving lie”  ~Robert Brault,

*********************************************************************************************

They always have 411 about everything and in detail … so you can sit for hours, talking about who’s doing what, going where, seeing who, doing who … lol, but really, I wouldn’t call that gossip, it’s just updating our databases, of what going on everywhere.

It just looks bad on a guy going on and on about irrelevant stuff *read very relevant to us*

*********************************************************************************************

Going for shopping … you can drag a girlfriend through the whole market or mall looking for something that you will eventually not get and you will get everything that you had intended not to get and you know what? That’s no big deal, because she gets you, because she has probably done the same.

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Men and shopping … that’s synonymous to torture unless you have identified something you are going to collect it and pay … otherwise it’s not going to go down so well. You’ll either end up arguing or buying something just to avoid the look :p

*********************************************************************************************

You can do sleep overs … sit, drink, watch movies, beautify thy selves (nails and what not), chat in between movies (that guy is hot, this one is … bleh, bleh, bleh) and it’s fun and mostly theraputic.

haha you wish … No, I’m not describing a sleep-over at a guys house.

*********************************************************************************************

They will give you all the psyche you need to go for parties, make you dance like a mad woman … even if you had loudly and clearly declared how much you don’t want to party or you’re tired… they know how to get to your nerves the right way.

“In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out.  It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being.  We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit”  ~Albert Schweitzer

You’re tired and you don’t want to party … ” okay, you can stay at home, then I’ll go out, have fun and I’ll find you here” … that’s a guy for you. He just got to your nerves the wrong way.

*********************************************************************************************

When they see that you need them, even if without saying, they will come running to make sure you’re handling it alright. They see you and they know something’s not right and they try to make it right.

“If a friend is in trouble, don’t annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do.  Think up something appropriate and do it” ~Edgar Watson Howe

Well, I can’t say men don’t, they do, if you have a connection, they will notice and do something about it. Otherwise, you will have to tell them what you want and how you want it, or you’ll just have to dream on.

*********************************************************************************************

Those are the friends I have so far … and that’s why I thank God for them, I have learned a lot from them; I have learnt to be reliable, available, trustworthy, imaginative, quick to grasp stuff, capture inside jokes, keep time #iTry and most of all, have so much love!

I won’t name and shame them, because even if I do, not all of them read my blog :p *lame excuse* but if you read you’ll just know. I have girlfriends from everywhere, at least you’re one if I meet with we start off from where we left off. Some old, some new … but all together, I appreciate you all, and I really thank God for you, and may you all find all the happiness and be full of love to spread and share to all those who need it.

TO THE MEN —> We women, cannot do without you, you make life beautiful and thank you for being there … We thank God for you too and may you have all the love, so that you can love us girls to bits and treat us like the princesses we are. But on that note, don’t deny your girlfriends time with their girlfriends … they are IMPORTANT too. Fair?

It’s weird how, “Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn’t seem to crack.  Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces”  ~Anne Morrow Lindbergh , just read the quote and figured that is so true … hehe men are lucky bastards (in a good way though, if you know what I mean.)

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“A good friend is a connection to life – a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world” ~Lois Wyse

“The best way to mend a broken heart is time and girlfriends” ~ Gwyneth Paltrow

Signing Off  ~~~ *Kawi*

Negative Vybe = Negative Energy

I had a lovely weeked, you know the kind where you are here, there and everywhere. So in the midst of my all my escapades of the weekend, I met a couple of old friends and you know it’s all excitement as I haven’t seen them in a long while. So chatting up and laughing about stuff. I enjoy meeting people, i mean am a chatter box when opportunity presents itself.

Though one thing I have never done is build negative energy on someone, I always try my best to look at the good side of things, you know things could be thick and difficult, and we can talk about that, but those things can have something positive that can make you feel better.

Anyway for the first time ever, I felt like am a dart board, and my heart was the one being aimed at. Like the heart piercing kind.

You know when people talking about something that affects you directly, and as much as it sounds true or not you don’t have a say, like you just shuush and listen as they toss your “life story” like a ball, everyone has an opinion and they don’t spare any bit. I mean you can’t contribute because it sounds partly like advice while at the same time it’s “I don’t know what it is” #confused.

So let’s just say as the conversation continued ok maybe not conversation it’s me just being told things as I wasn’t really responding, It reached a point and i’m thinking ok, stop! it’s abit to much. You know some things can be put forward as jokes and at first it feels like a joke and you laugh with them, but when it becomes an extended joke then it reaches a point it hurts. And being me,  I always try to put a brave face and laugh even when am the target. You the kind where :

Yah that was me, I was laughing and smiling and acting like what they were saying was haha funny but in the inside, I was just like I want to get the hell outta here … that feeling where the slightest opportunity to flee would be highly appreciated. Regardless of wether you will remain as the topic of discussion.

And by time I was  leaving, all I was feeling was:

At one time or another, this had to happen. It’s good to experience some things so that you can know how it feels and how you can tackle them. Because after that I just wanted to go home and sleep … I love sleep, because when you sleep everything just goes away. I had wanted to go party but I opted out, my partner in crime wasn’t amused…hehe

Every experience for me is always a learning experience, I think a lot I must say, about different things. And when I thought about this particular instance, and all i could come up with was this,

People see, hear and talk. People will tell you things you don’t want to hear, things you probably know but don’t want to get the reality of them. They will say the truth from what they have observed..oh and the truth hurts.. sometimes what they say could be out of their experiences and they are just letting you know so that you don’t make a mistake.

You just need to know how to handle all that information in a way that’s beneficial to you. I mean with all my intelligence, I should be able to “sieve chuff from good grain” — I got it….ha!

I also learnt another thing, people are very delicate creatures… I can look like am the strongest, but you don’t know what’s going inside me #emotions. And concealing them is our life’s job description.

So when dealing with something that will probably touch on someones feeling, be gentle, you can joke but don’t extend it. and when someone says stop, you stop unless your intention is to hurt them #amjustsaying. Plus drop in a line of encouragement.

“Note how good you feel after you have encouraged someone else. No other arguement is necessary to suggest that never miss the opportunity to give encouragement” – George Adams

Oh well end of the story, those my friends never encouraged me after all the negative vybe, but one other person did, thanx babe and I am grateful *wink* . Glad I have someone  I can call, rant and rave from a girls perspective. I love you @Wanjanmajid and Happy Pre Birthday (15th June), Thank God for bringing you into this world, clearly he saw I needed you..hehe

“To be a friend means encourage strengths in others and accepting their weaknesses, in other words, accepting them for who they are.” – Catherine Pulsifier — #ihatequotes

Signing Off — *Kawi*

Symbiotic Relationships – Pest Friends and Best Friends

I don’t know what came to me today, but I found myself going to search the word “Symbiosis”. I can be quite weird sometimes #iknow. But not so long ago I had a certain issue with a friend on my meeting in the middle concept. And after so much thinking about it well maybe not so much, in the long run my conclusion was “what the hell!” #NeverNeed. And life moves on.

Well, now since that’s my word of the day, I had to go to Wikipedia and get the scientific meaning and all. Okay, we all studied this in Biology but I don’t want to write my own words. so,

The term symbiosis commonly describes close and often long-term interactions between different biological species. The symbiotic relationship may be categorized as mutualistic, commensal, or parasitic in nature.

Symbiotic relationships may be either obligate, i.e necessary for the survival of at least one of the organisms involved, or facultative, where the relationship is beneficial but not essential for survival of the organisms.

I won’t go deep into it because that wasn’t my intention. Just that I am going to use it as a symbol of sorts. I mean seems my high school literature teacher did a good job.

I shall relate the symbiotic relationship to the relationship between human beings. What we call Friendship. A friend in this case being someone you know, relate with, trust, like stuff like that.

As it is, the symbiotic relationship is divided into three categories. That would be parasitic, commensal or mutualistic relationships.

A parasitic relationship is one in which one member of the association benefits while the other is harmed. This being the funny part, as many as half of all animals have at least one parasitic phase in their life cycles, and it is also frequent in plants and fungi.

On to the parasitic relationship, and this is where my meeting in the middle concept is largely contradicted. Well there are those friendships that are just parasitic by nature. That is one party is benefiting while the other is on the loosing end. For example, there those friends who when you meet you always pay the bill, it’s like an agreement you know at no one point will they be the ones offering to pay. Or those friends who it’s you who always goes to where they are or do what they are doing and not vice versa or better yet meet somewhere that’s middle ground, it’s either their way or the highway i detest such.

I’m the kind of person who believes that friends need to have the meet me in the middle concept. Make an effort for each other, then that’s the true friend, but if  one has to always suck up and always be the one going past their comfort zones to please the other party, then there’s something wrong with that set up. More like a tick and the host. The tick (pest friend) needs to be picked and removed so that the host can be healthy. And that’s exactly how it should be in our human world, those are the friends you should literally run away from because at no point will they benefit you, instead they cause you more harm than happiness. They are also known as PEST FRIENDS

Commensalism describes a relationship between two living organisms where one benefits and the other is not significantly harmed or helped.

This are those friendships that are not so super significant, i know you get what i mean, those people you need once in a while to help in one way or a another but they don’t really influence you. Like it could be you have a friend who works in a certain organisation and can get for you some information you need. or they are networked and can sort you out like help you get a job and so on.

This is a good kind of friendship because there is no harm caused and either party can benefit at one time. This day this friend can help you het a job, the next day you can help that friend who helped you get a job come out of a financial situation. So keep these friends..ps! Don’t delete their numbers from your phone, they come in handy.

The term “mutualism” describes any relationship between individuals of different species where both individuals derive a benefit.

This is the healthiest relationship there can be, the sort of “You Scratch My Back, I’ll Scratch Yours” . Whereby both parties make an effort to better the relationship. There is always a consideration of the other. For example, When your happy they are happy for you and with you, when you’re sad they help out  and take you through it, when you’re broke they understand and you go to places where prices are fairer or sort each other out and when you’re balling you enjoy together…you know something like that.

If you have this kind of mutualistic friend, keep them, love them, be good to them because they are rare to find but once you find them, keep a hold of them. They bring joy and happiness to your life and always be with you through thick and thin, up and down. They are also known as BEST FRIENDS

Well, the picture of the hanging love heart up there, is just to show that sometimes love hangs on a string. There’s love but things could come on the way to try break the string. And as a result:

“Beware of Pest Friends, but Be Aware of Best Friends“ hehe I just came up with that sounds cool

Signing off — *Kawi*

THE THERAPIST

Someone once said “a problem stated is a problem half solved” , there’s also “a problem shared is a problem half solved “

Am the kind of person who when having a problem, I would like to first find a solution then after solving it, I can now share. I know there are many like me. Like to keep stuff to yourself.

Well, lately I realized that the problem you are going through, is not so special, there are so many other people going through the same thing. Sometimes you don’t even know what exactly the problem is but by telling it to someone, you sort of get a clear picture of it. It’s like a project where you do “statement of the problem” …. This is critical even in everyday life.

Anyhow why I say that stating and sharing a problem with a trusted one, it could be indirectly i.e. you say it like a story is because I tend to think that it’s like therapy in a way. Releasing a burden that you had been carrying alone to others. (again this could be done indirectly). The people you share with, could have experienced it as well and they can contribute on various ways to help solve it. In the long run it always ends up being something hilarious, because you can’t imagine how you have suffered for so long while someone else has solutions at their finger tips… or means to get to the solution.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean that one is always going to air their dirty linen in public … plus don’t go sharing with any Tom, Dick and Harry … There are those things that solving alone can be cumbersome … like a business Idea, financial crisis, r/ship issue(could be marital) — bleh bleh bleh, trying to say friends can be quite therapists in a not so direct way
Signing off *Kawi*

Ho’s n Bro’s

So yesterday(Sunday), I had some good sleep, then woke up at about 10:00am and lazed around as I prepared to go to church. I have a bad habit of being late, so I am really trying my best to kill it. before I start saying “old habits die hard”…how I hate that saying because sometimes its painfully true. Discovered that all i need to do is always wake up 30minutes earlier than the my normal waking up time

Anyhow, that’s besides the point. So i go to church, and since I am late I have to go to the teens service, and thats when you feel a bit old because kids are screaming when the preacher utters any word, oh trust me it does get to your most inner nerves…especially the one that gets irritated…lol oh and the preacher comes, the topic for today is ‘Homosexuality’… oh no!…’Homo phobic’ its meant to be…so i switch off. And a good friend of mines texts me and asks if we can do lunch…phew!

So we meet up for lunch with my friend, and through our conversation, we start talking about friends…like friends literally. who’s in your inner circle and why???? Then I remember that for a long time I had been praying for good friends (I know, I pray for everything…oops) because I used to believe that all I had were acquaintances(in this case, they are those people who know you through occasional meetings, or hang out with you but have very minimal information on you). Like all through my primary school and high school, i believed that I had no friends really, again just acquaintances. Personally I hate cliques, catch me dead in one, i could hang out with people a lot but under no circumstance would I form a clique…that’s what primary school and high school friends were about.

So I joined campus with still the same mentality of acquaintances. So that you know, thats a very bad mental picture. Thats what kept me off friends, made me a bad communicator then. I never kept in touch with people. It was like “Out of sight, out of mind”. The only good thing about it is that I rarely got disappointed because I did not have expectations from any one, oh, plus no drama whatsoever because i thought no one really cares or expects anything from me.

The best thing in campus that happened to me, was dating. That was my eye opener. That made realize that, you need friends. I won’t go into detail per se, but when I started dating I got absorbed into my then boyfriends friends….ooh thats the worst thing you can do. Because they are the ones I hang out with like all the time, the people i thought of as my acquaintances, i let go somehow, which was through less communication. So the big lesson on friends, came in when we broke up…I did not have my own friends, and it wasn’t logical to hang out with his friends again, that would be more of Hogging his friends…lol

Every step in life should be a lesson learnt to be able to make you move ahead. Sometimes I say am a lucky girl because I do learn from previous mistakes. So I told myself that before I get into another relationship i should identify and make my own friends first…that had been my social agenda for the whole of my final year in campus, that again is one of the decisions i made that am proud of. Because I can now proudly say i got my own friends. And this saying is so true

“Plant a seed of friendship, reap a bouquet of happiness” —Lois.L.Kaufman

I would say that because I got the best girlfriends one can have.. Honestly, i know if i call them, they’ll come to my aid, be it a happy or sad moment. And I would do the same for them any day and without hesitation. I know they probably don’t know this but they have taught me how to have and keep friends. Never in my life had I thought I can get along with girls…haha right now i don’t think I can do without them.

Thats where my Ho’s comes in, the ladies in my life are very important, i treasure them. Heres a brief listing of how important they are:

1. They will be there when you are going through the crappiest of times. The best thing being they’ve ever gone through the same sh*t, or they know some one who has gone through the same.

2. They give you sound advise on stuff… be it boys, girls, clothes, oils, soap..anything, you just name it. They are that diversifies…haha

3. They will listen to you… when you whine about your baggage, and trust me they will help you whine too.

4. They will bitch about boys with you…generally speaking. Thats always the hottest topic.

5. They will toast with you when your happy about something. And will make you laugh till your ribs ache, and tears roll.

6. They will come for your party when everyone else could probably ignore it.

7. They keep me company, when am absolutely plot less or bored and they will liven up that moment.

8. They will compliment you when you look nice&lovely, and tell you your looking a bit funny when your— they are that honest.

9. They will take you for shopping and not hurry you around if you ain’t getting what you want, they will take you to all the shops watch you try out clothes laugh about it and not complain because they’re having fun with you.

10. They know me and love me for who I am.

11. Lastly, they’ll sit with you for hours..yap yap about anything and everything, laugh and forget that its getting late…haha had to drop this one in.

Those are the ho’s i have in my life right now …. and I love them in excess. Life would be super boring without them, and am glad I realized that soon enough.

So then comes the bro’s…mmmh! This are the boys in my life. In this case I shall exclude my boyfriend because he’s in a league of his own…oops! This guys are really important too. But you have to chose them wisely..haha cause you could have a hungry canning fox as your bro n man your so totally doomed. I have come across such in my 22yrs of living. But its a good thing, because that again is a learning experience. Read this somewhere,

“Mistakes are the usual bridge between inexperience and wisdom”

So all those boy mistakes I have made previously have modeled me into who I am today. Cheers to you. Its so funny how to relate with boys/girls its like you need a manual, or rather thats how many people view/put it, its like there are rules and regulation…i mean, boys, they are just human beings like the girls too. they have everything the girl has of course except the physical appearances and bodily functions , male testosterone vs female estrogen, otherwise every other thing is the same they’ve got feelings, they get hurt, they get happy and sad. If you pour something hot on them they get burnt too…okay, am now being sarcastic. But honestly, theres no rule in any book that stipulates how you should treat a man/woman, or even if you get any, it wont work, because you have to learn the person and know what it is that they want/like because every person is different. My thought, you have to learn and grow into people to know what tickles their fancy, what puts them off.

Funny thing is that those books are written by a person just like you. So what makes you think its something you cant handle?? Food for thought. And maybe their research is directed to self… like they are also trying to understand this other being.

Okay, I think I have digressed a bit there, So heres a brief listing of how important the bro’s in my life y are:

1. They will take care of me under any circumstances, a ride from the rave, lunches and dinner, if i call them with a problem.
2. They sort out any one who harasses me
3. They will be there for me when i need them.
4. They will make me laugh a good one.

5. They know me and love me for who I am.

6. They always check up to see if am okay, which is totally cool.

7. They keep in touch even when am a bum and i disappear or keep silent for long.

8. They are easy to please…hehe like i don’t have to climb a mountain or cross the ocean for them to appreciate. Its the little things that count.

9. They always look out for the best for you, like education, work. and push you to do your best.

10. They give you advice about the fellow boys and the tactics they play…oh yah, i know quite a couple.

Oh thats what we were actually discussing with my friend on Sunday afternoon, quite a fulfilling discussion because I came to think about so much.

The part I like the best is when my friend said that when he’s looking for friends he doesn’t look for people who think he’s has made it (and yet he really hasn’t) , he looks for people who look up to him and who he looks up to. People he can associate and get to learn one or two things from. This is in all aspects of life. I think thats what friends are for sure.

I believe that friendship should never die, it should grow to greater heights. A friend should be there for you through thick and thin, through smooth and rough, its like a marriage of sorts, just that this one has no certificates or i do and may you kiss the bride followed by a honeymoon, but it the same in terms of, its a lifetime commitment, the kind of till death do us part. Thats what i view my friendships as. And whenever i make a friend i always think long-term, never short-term, if its that way then I wouldn’t even bother in the first place.

Am not saying am the perfect friend though…point of defense, gosh I got my weaknesses, but I keep improving, am becoming a better and better friend through my friends whom i emulate sometimes.

Hence i would go with ” Ho’s and bro’s” and not “ho’s over bro’s “or “ho’s before bro’s.”….

Quick Question: So what do you call this people who you know but are just dormant in your life, but when you meet they’ll be happy or pretend to be, they’ll want to know how you’ve been since you last met which is probably ages ago, then they’ll say bye and will ask for your number again because they apparently loose phones so much and your number is always lost with the phone..haha

Quick Answer: Thats what i would nowadays proudly call, “an acquaintance”

Signing off ::: *Kawi*