Tag Archive | Life Lessons

What Next?

Dreaded question? It could very easily be mine.

One of those that fall under the “best and worst question”, all in the same intensity. Best when I know what’s coming next, like I have it all planned out, with the answers at my fingertips, more like a – bring it on – kind of scenario. Worst when I’m trying to figure it out. Chances are that I haven’t even given it a thought or talked about it yet because I fear the answer is “I don’t know”. I was brought up being told to never say “I don’t know”. I’d rather give you a tentative plan or an “I’ll get back to you”. I can’t recall where I picked up that habit from, and I don’t think it was not home, because I was never harassed for not knowing. Maybe school. Well, at least it helped because I never left any blank answers during exams. I’d rather cook up an answer than admit that I don’t know, then find out later what that was all about.

What Next?

What Next? Is that kind of question that’s hooked to the human DNA. We usually feel the need to ask it especially after receiving some good news. You’re never given that honeymoon period to gloat in your glory. The moment you share something exciting, the next thing is, “What Next?” I’m guilty of doing the same thing to others and even to myself. Someone just got engaged, so when’s the wedding? Someone just got married, so when’s the baby coming? Someone gets a baby, so when’s the next one? Someone gets a job, so what are you looking for next? Someone graduates, so what will you study next? Someone chops their hair, so what will you do with it next? Someone buys new shoes … ? It’s crazy, the little heaven here on earth is always so short-lived.

I got my Post-Graduate certificate … finally! It’s one thing to graduate, but it’s another to actually get a clean bill of health from the University and receive the certificate. The excitement lasted as long as the hand over.  We can measure that in seconds. As soon as I received, the question I asked myself was, what next? Then I bump into my friend and share the same news right outside the school gate and she asks me, so what next? PhD?

Graduation, MBA, Strategic Management,  Daystar University, Thesis

I told her, kids, but of course I was kidding (see what I did there). Truth be told though, I had a plan to do a PhD, I even know what it’ll be on – that was in my young and school-loving days, but today, I’m not entirely ready. The thought of lectures, assignments, evening classes, quarterly exams, dissertations – I’m just not ready for that kind of torture just yet. Unless, I’m the one on the front side of the class making other people feel that way *smirk*.

Sometimes, I wish we had the answers to all things future. That we always knew what next or even where and what you want to be? So that when someone asks you, you don’t look like you just swallowed a hot potato. It could very well be a conversation starter, a tough one though. Same thing as asking someone, what their 5 year or 10 year plan is. Now that I’ve mentioned;

What’s your 5/10 year plan? (10 if you think 5 is too shortsighted. I’ll accommodate y’all). Let’s think about it together, then individually jot it down somewhere (a permanent place that is, like a notebook, not your phone, technology is tricky  – it could crash or become obsolete. It’s a funny thing that books still live and last longer).

Then 5/10 years down the line, we’ll retrieve it and see if we’ll have gotten there. If we stuck to the same plan, changed course or well, it just didn’t work out and you did something different. Because we never give up, yes?

Have a Super-Charged Week Champs!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

What Are You Doing For Others?

Just imagine you’re on traffic and you want to join the next lane, but this person keeps on blocking you from joining his lane. Annoying right? Well your mind goes on an overdrive, “*throws some curse words their way* stingy blocker, they just don’t want me to prosper.” That’s what runs through your mind, no? At least that’s what we say about the people who just can’t bare seeing you ahead of them or successful.

Then, there’s this person that just paves the way for you. You indicated that you want to join his lane and he just gives you way struggle-free and life moves on. Not that you deserve it, they’re either just generally courteous or they felt that desire to momentarily put their needs aside and give you a hand in handling yours. Sometimes you’re the road hog and you think that your business is more important than the other persons’, or that you are more deserving (which means, at that moment you think they’re not).

We forget to then that reason we get through a couple of circumstances is because someone somewhere paved the way for you. Not necessarily giving you way in traffic, but that counts too. Like going out of their way to make sure that you’re sorted out if you had an issue; taking time out of their tight schedule to be there for you, it could be through a visit, a call, a text saying “hi” or simply, liking their Facebook status; finding out what disturbing your friend/acquaintance and giving them your ear even if for a moment; biting the bullet for your team-mate and walking with them through a tough situation.

This may go unnoticed. Actually, in most cases it always does, at least by the public, but it makes a humongous difference for the person directly impacted. You that feeling when the person in traffic paves way for you and you want to; get out of the car and shake his hand, or wave frantically, or give them a big “THANK YOU” shout out. Now imagine if we generated that kind of feeling in all the places we grace or the people we rub shoulders with?

Kawi Snippets, Paving The Way

Doing something for someone (small or big) without necessarily expecting recognition or a return of the favor, but just because you want to see them ease-up and smile, even if for a moment. Those are the things that keep me awake at night. Most of the time.

Happy Hump Day!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Harsh Realities

If there’s one (actually two but intertwined) thing I have learnt to respect and appreciate is time and experience.  At one point, I was of the school of thought “why do I have to wait to get this? I want it now” and “why do people make a big deal out of experience? I mean, if I can do it why are you asking for years of experience.” And then I figured, that time gives you leeway, while experience gives you exposure. They reveal to you things that you thought you knew but you actually didn’t. And slowly you keep advancing yourself. That’s why those two, I believe, are the most important aspects of growth. Growth in whichever capacity. So;

  • When you read a job vacancy and they’re asking for 5-10 years’ experience, that request is valid. It shouldn’t demoralize you. It should instead make you more optimistic, that the struggle you’re going through now is worth it. That at one point, with a little patience in your grind, you will reap the benefits too.  Respect your seniors, because one day, you’ll get there and you’ll want your juniors to do the same.
  • If you see folks who have been married for a couple of years, and they are giving you pieces of advice, listen, for only they know better. It doesn’t mean you have to do as they say or be as they are, but why re-invent the wheel or go through the same rough path they trudged, while they have identified a smoother one?
  • You have a business and someone tells you, “give it time, it will pick up”. The business is viable and your service delivery is exceptional – I tell my mum this every day, you just need to give it time and once people know about your services (experience), they’ll be loyal, and you’ll be their point of reference. Businesses don’t flourish in a day, a month or a year, some legacy’s take years to build. One just needs to be patient and put in some extra effort while at it.
  • You’ll understand how a person with years of experience will always tramp someone with no years of experience despite them having superior skills or why you can’t build a brand/business/house in one day -> Trying to put it into perspective.

Life, Life Lessons, Experience, Time, Harsh Realities

I know right! Not what one wants to hear. It’s a harsh reality, but the earlier one starts to value the fundamentals of growth; time & experience, the more things will make sense. I know most things don’t. It’s a LIFE-TIME EXPERIENCE!

Happy Thursday Folks!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Earphone Moments Call For Some Ear-Time

You know how when you put earphones in your pocket, then when the time comes for you to remove them, they’re tangled into a bajillion knots, and you just wonder how that happened. It was just a pair of earphones that went in there and nothing else. Well, it could be the material they’re made of, but still, it’s bothersome. You have to spend some good time detangling them so that you’re able to comfortably use them.

Sometimes, we have that earphone-moments in life.  At one moment everything around you is okay and you’re reveling in it, then the next moment things are going berserk and you have no idea how you got to that point. It could be at work, at home, somewhere in between. You then have your moment of taking the “earphones” out of the “pocket” and detangling them back to normalcy.

In essence, all that’s needed is for someone to take the earphones out of the pocket and not necessarily detangle them. They could be choking in there for all we know. In life, sometimes all we need is someone to talk to. Someone to get you out of the “pocket”. It doesn’t have to be your family or friend, it could also be a stranger. They might not know what you’re going through but through a conversation, they could calm a nerve that was otherwise chocking you up (and you didn’t even know it was). They don’t have to sort out the problem, but at least they shed in some light for you.

Life, Life Lessons, Earphones, Time, Conversation, Talk-Time

 

When someone comes up to you, give them a minute or two, and share with them you have in mind or vice versa. What you have in mind could be an answer to something that’s been itching them in the wrong place ha ha ha okay, wrong move, but true, it could be what relieves them. I think God uses us to reach out to our own. You know when you pray and you are waiting for an answer(s), I don’t think they fall out of the heavens and happen. It’s through people that our miracles happen. It could be people you know, people close to you, or it could be a complete stranger. Don’t dismiss them, give them some ear-time and hear them out – let them minister to  you or be the one who reaches out to them and they give you some time for you to minister to them.

Happy Hump Day Lovelies!

My Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day. Let me tell you a little something about my Father, who I call Dad or Daddy (mostly when I need a favor, because it almost sounds like you’re saying it with a puppy face and battling eyelashes). First, he is the best dad I could ever have. He’s the epitome of cool, calm and collected, very easy going and not fussy about stuff (I mean, he’ll eat what we’re eating, watch what we’re watching, chill with us, fix stuff around, drink coffee – with no specifications on how it should be made). He speaks his mind and doesn’t sugar coat anything he says, which now makes me think he’s the most genuine person I know. Especially when it comes getting realistic feedback, he’s the go to guy. If it’s a yes, it’s a yes. If it’s a no, it’s a no. If it looks bad, then that’s what it is. If it looks good, he won’t give it to you in a golden platter, he’ll tell you in a sarcastic way, you have to have some humor to get it. There’s no in between. I think on that part, I took my mothers genes because I sugarcoat, a lot.

Well, when growing up, we had our best moments and not so best moments. There are times I thought, “how can dad say that”, “how can he refuse this”. Sometimes, I had ideas of what I want to do or where I want to go and he’ll blatantly refuse or give a reason that’s painfully true but not one you want to hear at that point in time. If not, he’ll give curfews or ultimatums, and it just felt like he just didn’t get me or he was being a bit too strict when other friends were having it much easier. Then later on in life, I look back and I appreciate all that. Strange. That’s the circle of life I tell you.

20140609-001837-1117442.jpg

The tough calls, the lectures, the pushing, all that made me who and what I am. I may not have much today (maybe I do, and I don’t know it yet), however, I know as I continue growing, I want to make sure the sacrifices he made (and continues to make even today) to ensure I (we) have it all, remain and continue being worthwhile. I can never repay him, I will never try to, because he’s playing his role right. I will reciprocate that love, that commitment, that sacrifice that he provides every single day and moment.

As his daughter, I know when all is said and done, he’s the one man that will always have my heart. Just seeing him smile, seeing him proud of us and letting him be, our dad. Thumbs up to my mum, your husband is a keeper.

Behind every amazing dad, is a mum that always backs him up (lesson learnt through a lifetime of observation).

On a lighter note, he’s a cap guy. He’s always in one every weekend. I bet you he’d be in one during the week if work allowed. Every time I ask him what he wants for his birthday, for Christmas, for Father’s Day, randomly, a cap is always in the mix. Though he always removes it on photos it so that we can see his handsome face – his words. Too fresh!

Now you’ll have a blessed week, won’t you? Love & Light!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

You’ve Got To Start Somewhere

The other day I bumped into one of my childhood friends and as we were catching up, we start talking about how it is living on our own. I’m slightly older than she is so I’d been out in the woods a little longer. This got me thinking of my journey, because I just didn’t wake up one day and find myself where I am today, I ain’t no rocket.

I started somewhere. That somewhere sure wasn’t the top either. You know how we sing along to that “started from the bottom, now we’re here” song in the club, it pretty much comes to perspective. I haven’t reached there yet, but at least I believe I’m on the right tangent that’ll eventually lead me there, my own house.

20140528-003900-2340169.jpg

Back to where I started, she asked me about my 1st house. First, my 1st house was like a miracle, because I looked for it out of desperation. I wasn’t being chased out of home per se, but my parents were moving to a place that was going to be a little too far from my work place. Plus, I was going back to school, so the commute would have taken a toll on me. Basically, the only other solution was to get a place and move out. I honestly never imagined that moving out would require such little convincing, I thought my dad would flatly refuse. I searched around and through my mums network I was directed to an SQ at Ngumo. I liked the house despite it having its shortfalls – water issues, the bathroom was outside (gave me the creeps a couple of times), zero natural light into the house, overnight rent inflation, non-refunded deposit and so on.

How I furnished the house, I recall, I didn’t get everything at once, but I had saved enough to pay my deposit, rent and shop for necessary items. I also had my little monthly income (weh, that was an experience on learning how to manage the little you have…lol). I worked with a list that indicated things in order of priority. For instance, I sat on cushions and watched movies on my laptop the 1st few months (so a couch and TV were bottom on the list). I got some “hand me downs” from my mum, while my dad played a huge role in sponsoring and ensuring that I acquired the things that were flagged *important* especially those pertaining to food – his biggest worry was that I should be able to cook and store my food when it remains, so for him a cooker and fridge were top priority (it’s funny when I think of it now).

All the same, I loved my little first house, I made it habitable. Time came for me to move out of there after a year and some months when my landlord experienced some issue with the main landlord (rental house issues). It was unexpected, and looking for a house is no easy feat. I prayed about it and voila, asking around, my friend linked me up with an agent in Kilimani who showed me a house that I fell in love with at first sight. It solved all the problems I had with my first SQ. This one was an extension with water than never run out; normal internal bathrooms; signed agreement – no rent inflation and deposit is refunded minus maintenance; excess light, with a sun roof in my bedroom, it’s like the landlord was going green; much bigger, everything fit perfectly.

Somewhere along the way, in as much as I loved my little light haven, I felt like I was growing out of it. Like I would like to move in to a bigger space, that’s not within someone’s compound, an apartment. I respected my feeling and urge to look for another house. After a few searches here and consultations there, a prayer and some more, I found the house I now live in. It’s just what I wanted. Now the next feeling, I sense it from afar, is to own a house.

Just like I found my way around different houses that meet my growing needs, or just like I progressed from one stage to another and learnt along the way, that’s how life is in general. My inner being nudges me to grow in the different spheres of my life and pushes me to seek for more even when it almost seems impossible. I believe that’s how you #ChaseYourDreams. With dreams, they don’t come easy, you’ve got to start somewhere.

Happy Hump Day!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

The Concealer or Open Book?

You’re given a choice between the two, which one would you pick based on the one that best fits your personality?

You wonder what I would pick? Let me first put them into perspective. The concealer is used to hide a blemish, a scar mostly on the face or a part that’s visible to the public. We’re not talking make up, but that would be the best example to use. The concealer would be one that matches your skin tone so that it’s not so obvious that you’ve concealed or hidden anything. It makes you look flawless, it brings you close to perfection with the even skin tone (which many of us lack). The concealer guides you on what you’ll think about them and how you’ll perceive them. You see, they’ve already concealed their flaws, and to the public the only thing that’s left to think is how perfect they are.

While the open book, is just like it is, open and ready for you to read and interpret the way your mind knows best. The open book is at the recipients discretion, how he/she interprets it is up to them. The open book has your wrongs and rights, your strengths and weakness all laid out. Your story exposes your flaws and perfections at one go. It’s like having a face with uneven skin tone, but you just rock it because, that’s you. Whether you have a concealer or not, it doesn’t bother you because, those are the things that make up the person you are. And there’s an inherent reason why you are the way you are.

That being said, for the longest time I thought I was an open book. But with time I realized, I can be a concealer too, trouble. Though, I try to wipe off the concealer as soon as I realize it’s covering me up and trying to make me portray something I’m not. At the end of the day, I want anyone that reads my *open* book to know who I am and who I’m not, what I advocate for and what I don’t, in as much as there as there is also room for improvement since I don’t have it all figured out. It makes it easier for you to sort out your life and know who fits in and who doesn’t. It’s a tough and crazy world, just as there are so many things craving your attention, which one’s will get it at any one point largely depends on what you portray yourself to be.

20140525-091738-33458967.jpg

So, I would pick the open book and really work towards ensuring that I remain as one. Even when sometimes my other inner voice tells me that I need the concealer.

Have a soulful Sunday, and lots of blessings your way.

Signing off ~~~ *Kawi*

Co-ed Baby Showers

It’s amazing when I’m invited for a baby shower, it shows my friends are doing things right no pun. It’s been known that baby showers are a thing for the women folk but I’m starting to think otherwise the more I go for them. I think that both the women and men should be involved in it, because both parties are just as affected by this tremendous transition.

20140501-090953.jpg

For baby showers, the girlie’s organize a surprise shower for the almost popping mommy-to-be. They buy gifts and meet up at someone’s house or agreed relaxed place. There are lots giggles and excitement, frills, drinks and just good vibes. The girlie’s give the mommy-to-be tips on how to be a good mommy as well as the horrific and beautiful stories that come with motherhood. It’s actually a lot of fun. For the mommy-to-be, by the end of the shower and presentation of the gifts (and explain why they chose to buy that gift and its purpose). At the end of it, there’s a load off her back in terms of what to expect when the D-day reaches. At least the girls have given her a sneak-peak of what she’s bound to experience based on personal and over-heard experiences.

Well, as I sat there chatting with my buddies, I thought, “what about the men?” Who gives them tips on how to be a good dad? Fatherhood is a challenge too, just as motherhood is. The changes that come with it are a force to reckon with – and sometimes it catches them unawares. The only difference is that they are not carrying the child, but mentally, they are. Aren’t they the ones who have to deal with the demands of the almost popping mommy-to-be? This got me thinking of co-ed baby showers.

When my time comes, I’d like to have a co-ed (Oh,I mean, combined – that’s how they say it) baby shower. Where both our female and male friends are present, those who’ve experienced motherhood and fatherhood and can tell a tale or two as well as offer some advice that could be of great help.

I feel that it’s about time we shifted focus from just the mommy-to-be and accommodated the expecting dad as well. I mean we want our kids to have good fathers, so why not include them on the shower treat as well. Especially now that men are taking a keen interest in their wife’s pregnancy and giving her support at every stage of pregnancy, it is only fair to include them in the shower-treat.  What do you think?

20140501-091510.jpg

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

What Makes Up The Best Relationships?

“The best relationships are by those people who’ve been in the murk, together. Walked right through it and seen each other step into the light, together.” ~ Kawi

Technically, relationships are not easy. I always say that, because they are not. We want to make it easy, but the people in it are complicated. Generally, people are complicated, even those that say they’re not guilty. People are different. We’ve been brought up in different set-up’s and backgrounds, we have different personalities, we have different needs and wants, we see things from a different perspective and have our own standing opinions, which we want to be heard and believed, we have different principles, some or most of which differ. It’s crazy. Just think about it that way. Then these two people are supposed to love each other effortlessly and easily … no drama, no disagreements, and no differences, that’s impossible. Isn’t that the perfect relationship for you?

Relationships, Life, Life Lessons

Let me burst the bubble, I’m sure many have before, but there’s no perfect relationship. There are no two people you can look at and say these two are the S.I Unit of a perfect relationship. Don’t go into a relationship thinking that it’s going to be perfect; don’t even try to make it perfect. Truth is, it can never be, unless you’re dating yourself. I don’t mean to be a pooper, I’m just being honest. When you get into a relationship, or you’re thinking of getting into one, be realistic. Be realistic with yourself and the person who you’re getting in to the relationship with. Realistic = Happy People.

In life, I love learning. In as much as sometimes it can be piercing, tear jerking and very humbling. At the end of the day, the lessons make you a better person, makes you see things in different light, and while at it, they make your heart lighter.

You see, in relationships, there are two people. Two people who live differently, because you’re your own person. You’re different in all ways except the part where you’re interested in each other. So how do these two people connect? How do they understand each other and know what the other person need and wants? What makes up the best relationships?

Communication

It’s key. Sometimes we make assumptions about the other person or want the other person to read your mind and actions and miraculously know what’s running through your mind. Unless you have special powers, that’s unrealistic. You need to talk to each other and understand where someone is coming from or why they are making this decision and not the other.

Zero Pride

Your ego, it’s big, it keeps growing. That’s how it’s meant to be, but for the relationship, it needs to be contained. You need to humble yourself. The moment you’re in a situation and you think of “I” before “other person”, that’s pride. Cancel that thought and think about “the other person” and then “I”. I learn this the hard way, but it’s a lesson worth learning. Sometimes I wonder, “why am I doing this and he also didn’t do this” or if he asks why I didn’t do something, instead of being apologetic and correcting that, I am like “why didn’t you do that for me as well.” Haha, you do that too huh?

Relationships, Life, Life Lessons

Non – Judgmental

You’re in this person’s space and they’re in yours. The least you can do is let them be without looking at them with judgmental eye. They want to tell you stuff but you shut them down or over-react. Relationships are about extended friendships (like a friend but now with exclusive perks). The same way you’d tell your friend something and you don’t expect them to judge you is the same way it should be in a relationship. I don’t know why when we’re in relationships we become overly sensitive and tacky over anything your person says. The feelings are caught faster than a 737 take off, maybe we need to just calm down and relax.

Enjoy Each Other

Yup, just as it is. Involve each other in your plans, share your dreams and enjoy each other’s company. Introduce them to your friends and vice versa. Let them into your life and them into yours. It makes everything easier, because you won’t feel like you’ve been left outside the box and everyone is having a sick party inside the box. This world can be lonely, but don’t let it be lonely for the person by your side. At least not when you’re there.

Relationships, Life, Life Lessons

There’s no winner or loser in your arguments or opinions. They all matter, so air them and hear each other out. It’s not a competition, you’re in the same team, remember. We forget this, I forget this. This is a reminder, let’s support and correct each other in love.

Thanking the boyfriend for taking us to a place where we learn these things together. Some of these things, you can never sort out alone. If you’re in a relationship, it takes two to tango.

Happy Easter lovelies, keep safe. Lots of Love, Light and Peace!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

 

Simplicity Equals Functionality

Normally, I don’t go back to read on what I have written before, because it’s awkward reading what I’ve written. You know the same way it’s awkward listening to your voice. I don’t know if you find it awkward, do you? I already know I wouldn’t make a good radio presenter. I cringe when I hear my voice somewhere in an audio/video (not that it’s bad, don’t burst my bubble just yet, it’s just … awkward).

Anyhow, I decided to just go back and see what I’m usually on about and I figured I really underestimate myself. I still don’t think I’m really good at whatever I do. I’m confident I can do it, but that’s just about where it ends.  Looking back, I actually do say things that make sense even days and years after.

I forget what I wrote about, when I wrote it, why I wrote it and what I was going through when I wrote it.

Every post has its account. There’s a reason I decide to take a particular angle and not another or why one I decide to say this and not that. Maybe that’s why I don’t revisit them, because I go through a situation, learn my lesson and move on. But I have come to realize that most of the stuff that happens in most cases is not new. It’s the same old experience regenerating itself, in a lesser or a greater way. And the same lessons you learnt then, are the same lessons you learn now. Only difference is that maybe your maturity level has increased and you’re able to handle the situation better.

This could be anything ranging from family, friendships, relationships, career, personal experiences, or general life things. The posts are also a reminder that I’ve grown, even how I process things. I like it when people read the articles and interpret the story by themselves without trying to figure out why I wrote what I did or what drove that thought. I love it when someone can relate a story to their life and even more when it helps them through a situation. Many at times, I also look for inspirations from others through their books, blogs and conversations.

In other related news, one of my “new year” i.e. Birthday resolutions, was to make my life more functional. To me, functionality = simplicity. You can use sites such as OLX Free Classifieds to fix something or buy something that’s functional and reduce the clutter, then you have made your life a little simpler.

Kawi Snippets

That couch – got a carpenter to make one for me, can’t wait for it + the decor on there is just it … ideas). Fixed a cupboard my mum had handed down to me, now it looks fancier. Finally got a cooker – baking can become a reality.

For some reason, I like keeping stuff, but at the same time, I hate clutter and I value space. When I gave this some thought, I figured what I needed is functionality, hence the resolutions. Now, have yourself a lovely 4-day week and #ChaseYourDream.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*