Last Minute Disease

I’m pretty sure you can relate with that disease and it has no cure, we’re still searching. The one that makes you want to do everything at that very last minute. You know just right before the deadline. All through, you have known that you’re supposed to do this and it has been at the back of your head. What is lacking is that motivation to get your hands dirty on it just yet. So you procrastinate, and procrastinate, you give your excuses. Then when d-day is here, things go bonkers. You’re trying to juggle 5 balls *read projects* all together, and boy, we all ain’t expert jugglers.

You have just been given an assignment, you have been told it’s due in a few weeks. You want to start the assignment but there is just no morale to do it. Everything looks complex, time is evasive, you’re extremely busy doing other things, even those things that are not relevant suddenly become more important. You’re breezed out, but at the back of your head you know there’s something you’re meant to be doing even as the days close in. Then. The d-day is here. The assignment is due tomorrow at 10.00am and it’s 10:00pm and your word document is blank. LOL. Funny at that moment, all thoughts come rushing through. You feel like a combination of Dexter (Dexters Lab) and Professor Utonium (Powerpuff girls). Very lethal combination by the way. Although you come up with the best ideas then, the pressure experienced is also real. I don’t think these other pressures have got anything on it. It works well for some, others get panic attacks.

You’ve been told of a meeting days before. Then the hours before the meeting is when you remember you had some action points allocated to you O_O and you’re supposed to give feedback. It’s an hour to, and you start calling clients, writing reports. This is the time your colleague comes to say hi and bug you and you don’t hear a thing they’re saying. And if they press any further you could detonate. You’re like sitting time bomb.

You were supposed to go to some place by a particular time and you over-estimate the amount of time you have to get there or under-estimate the traffic you will encounter on your way there. Then you get stranded in traffic. You look at your watch and you think if I just alighted and walked I’d make it right on time. Then somehow the traffic moves and you’re there. It’s like your faith moves it, if it doesn’t just walk. In as much as you’re not a good time-keeper, the last-minute saves.

If it wasn’t for that last-minute, many of us would falter in so many ways and things. Especially when it comes to dealing with deadlines. Maybe this was the source of deadlines. Humans figured that they can’t be trusted to do things at their own pace and deliver without being pressed or put under pressure. If there was no deadline, nothing will be done.

It’s like deadlines are a motivator and last-minute the much-needed adrenaline rush.

I used to say I want to get healed of the last-minute disease, but then am thinking how it has helped me meet so many deadlines. Even those I never thought I would meet. The adrenaline rush makes me feel like a Miss.SmartyPants, but really, my mind goes on an overdrive. That feeling like I can conquer the world. While if you asked me when the assignment or project was first being given, I would probably be like, “this shiii be so difficult”.

Are you one culprits taking advantage of that last minute? Does it work for you?  Or would like to be healed…lol. Our scientists are still looking for the cure, once we concoct some, it’ll be shared. Have a super Friday!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Lose Yourself. Find Yourself.

Makes me want to start on with Eminem’s - Lose Yourself, although it’s in a different context, but hey takes you back huh?

“Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted in one moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

—-

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime. ” ~ Eminem

Sometimes we lose ourselves. Lose ourselves in our work, school, relationships, talents basically in situations. We lose ourselves trying to accommodate other things and other people and we forget that we also have ourselves to accommodate. We humans (based on the fact that I am one) were created to want to please everyone we come across. You want to make sure that everyone is happy with you, satisfied with whatever it is that you have to offer. And if they are not, you try your best to make sure that they do. Even if it means losing who you actually are to do so. It’s like your happiness is based on their approval stamp.

We lose ourselves in more ways than one. Through our character, our behaviour and our actions. Where you do things that you also don’t comprehend, things that don’t make you happy, that given a chance, you would rather not do it but the situation doesn’t quite allow or it just forces you to be that way. It’s crazy, because you see yourself leaving yourself, literally. It’s like you’re stretching your hand to reach out for yourself but you slowly slip away. When you realize that is what’s happening, you can either: Just confirm to it or decide, it’s about time you found yourself. Conforming to it means that you’ve let go of yourself, you don’t mind not being you. You’re comfortable being  what your situations expect you to be to please them. Even when it drives you nuts, you would rather go nuts, but make sure the people around you are happy with you. But deep inside, you crush, you feel inadequate, like you’re not enough, like life could be better than it is.

When you decide to find yourself. Well, you step on some toes. You know what stepping on toes does, some forgive you and move on. Others react and dwell on it. You’ll probably never hear the end of it. They hate you for being you. But to be yourself you need to be able to defend yourself from the harshness (of the world) and be there for yourself always. It doesn’t mean that you’re going against what people expect of you really, it just means that your happiness, your comfort also matters. As much as other people’s matters. Just because someone doesn’t like you, your world won’t stop. Chances are that someone else loves (or will love) you to greater degree for being the same way. It’s a matter of balancing the scale…lol

You could have everything you need in life, but if you’re not yourself then those things wouldn’t make so much sense to you. And that’s probably the source of your happiness. That could be the source of your smile when all else doesn’t look so promising. If you’re not yourself, then you’re definitely someone else ain’t it? It means your own needs won’t satisfy you, because everyone has different needs. It’s a twist. Knowing yourself, your character, your behaviour  your actions is what keeps you sane. You over-do or under-do something and tell yourself, “Kawi, you’ve taken it too far, that’s not you”. You kiss ass too much, and you tell yourself, “Kawi, you don’t have to do that, just be you.” Actually, I think people like you better when you’re yourself. Just that they probably don’t tell you. I could tell you on their behalf. Because then they know that you’re the real deal, that you’re not pretending. That given a situation, this is how you’ll behave. So that someone doesn’t get surprised like, “Oh my gosh, I would have never though Kawi would do something like that.” This will allow me to love you for you or dislike you for you. Not for who you’re not.

When a situation pushes you to be someone you’re not, be there for yourself. Stand up for who you are. We expect others to be there for us when sometimes we’re not even there for ourselves. You’re your own V.I.P. Yeah, you deserve the red carpet, the V.I.P treatment. Don’t underestimate yourself. I do that sometimes as well, underestimate myself. I feel little, like I don’t have any impact in the life of others. And I let the voices inside my head convince me so. Then I thought about it figured that you deserve all the good things like the  other person next to you. You’re just as beautiful as the person next to you, if not more. You’re just as intelligent just as the person next to you, if not more. So don’t look at yourself and pity yourself or try to be someone else to please others as well as yourself. There’s a reason you are who you are.

“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.” ~ Nora Ephron.

It’s Monday, there can’t be any better form of motivation than,“ just be yourself”. It sounds like a darn easy assignment. LOL. It’s the hardest. That’s all I’ll tell you to do this week.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Life is like a Road

Been a while since I wrote something. For once I was not craving anything foody but to just have a moment to write. I have a million things that go through my mind at any one point. Then while at it, I think, will that be blog worthy? Then I have those people who tell me stuff or stories and make sure to note “don’t blog about that”. I wish to say that I don’t blog about everything, unless I think it will influence, inspire or impact knowledge in a positive way to those who pass by my online humble abode. So, in case you’re sharing something that will do either of those then you read my blog and you see it, “I’m sorry, I just had to”.

The other day, the mister and I were driving on the highway. ‘We’ because I am the co-driver, you know we never sit still, we’re always on the look out. Being a new driver on a road can be pretty frustrating though, there’s so much you don’t know about that road, that if you knew, you would reach destination in a jiffy. On a new road you don’t know where the turn in’s and exits are, where the speed bumps, big bumps and zebra crossings are. Every move is a learning experience. Then you record that in your mind and the next time you’re there you manoeuvre like you’re quite the pro. Then other time, given a chance you could drive with your eyes closed or never, but roads never cease to surprise you. You could find that the place you left bumps is now flat but with a bridge built over or some car has stalled or it’s raining heavily and you can’t see clearly. You have to be quite alert at al times while driving, a small mistake could cost you your life or someone else’s life.

So while driving since I diverted from the main story, we missed a turn-in O_O, oh and the mister has never been so frustrated. The ‘why didn’t you tell me earlier of the turning, now we have to go back so far, we need to be alert to avoid missing this turns’. I won’t lie, I was also getting devastated. Not because we’d even missed the turn but because I was worried that he’s too worried about that situation. In my mind (a lot goes in there), there was nothing wrong with that, we were definitely going to get another turning. I was pretty sure the next turning wouldn’t be so far off. Did I make myself look like the good one here? …lol well, not always, I have my negatives. But this time, I was like ‘am sure there’s another turning not so far off, because how did the guys living on the opposite side of the highway get to their homes?’. Then true to the word, there was another turning that got us to the opposite side, to the road that would get us home. Then everything was al-right once again. Despite the wrong turn or rather missing the turn, we got another one that got us right back on track.

Then it got me thinking about life. Sometimes we miss our turn in’s or exits. It could be because we don’t know the road we’re travelling in, it’s a new one and we’ve got to learn it first. We don’t always get it right the first time. For example, for a person who’s just graduated from the University and you’re starting your career. It’s not an easy one, but we all stared there, trust me. It’s like a new road, you know where you want to go, but you need to learn where the turns and exits are, the bumps, the zebra crossing. It’s crazy, it’s scary but the thrill of chasing your dreams is what keeps you going. You could have been on that road for ages and one day, something changes on it, it could be a short cut to home, or a stalled truck, or new bridge…it could be anything. If you are not alert, it could cause you harm or you could lose out on it. If you’re alert it could be a good one for you. For instance you could be in your career for a long time, but one day, you get an opportunity to change your career, life maybe. If you weren’t alert, it fly’s past you and you remain as you were. If you were alert, you get it and it helps you get out of your current situation, it could be to make it better or to evade a problem.

Like vehicles on roads, life is something we can’t avoid. We have to be active in it and find our own special ways of manoeuvring through it despite the different hurdles we have to go through. It could be other vehicles around you competing with you, overtaking, a stalled vehicle, the bumps, the zebra crossing or even the weather (it’s going to be sunny, rainy, foggy, snowy, slippery). But the bottom line is we have to keep moving regardless of the situation to get to our destination.

“Life is like a road. It has bumps, cracks and obstacles, but in the end, it gets you somewhere.” ~ Unknown

In other news, I hope you are having a fab week? Mine’s, well kind of crazy but also full of interesting surprises, that make me want to jump up and down with excitement, but the crazy bit has kept me rooted…lol. I’m just praying that all the things I’ve been working on both in my personal and professional life bring me prosperity in one way or another. Oh not to forget that May is the month of extraordinary giving. The one thing I learnt this Sunday at church is that many of use don’t know how to receive (stop thinking of goodies only). Me being first in line. When someone gives, even God, we should receive and say thank you. Most of us actually say no, shy away or question it. True or False?

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Of Fading Smiles

Sometimes I have moments of weird realization. Like now. When you think of life and how it is and you just nod your head and give God an imaginary High Five. How in a split second things can happen, a turn around. Not that anything has happened to me, am just thinking, with life, you live for the moment. Literally. If you’re happy now, be happy don’t suppress it. The next moment someone could just dumped your moods and everything goes up side down for you. It could be something as simple as a minor disagreement. All over sudden it becomes the elephant in the room and your smile slowly fades.

How one could be smiling on the outside, but crushing in the inside. I am not one to deny that I do that a lot. I can be in a happy mood, but somewhere at the far corner or maybe a big part of my heart, there is something is probably bothering me. Or just by the fact that I cannot involve other people in my personal problem when I have one, I still need to show that everything is okay. You crawl back to my cocoon and your smile slowly fades.

You meet a friend in the streets, of course you’re happy to see them and they are happy to see you. It’s all smiles, despite what’s going on in your lives. You forget your problems for a moment as you remember all the good things, the good times. Then they walk away and you’re back to normalcy, maybe you were feeling inadequate, unloved, frustrated or just … you know one of those shitty days where you feel like the world is against you, then your smile slowly fades.

Don’t keep that smile away for too long though. You just never know who’s falling in love with it. It’s always in the smile. They say, but I think so too. So even when it’s fading away, am the positive kind, I will force my mind to think of that one thing or two or more that are bound to make me smile. Like for instance how I’ve just managed to finish up my thesis document. Now just some corrections from the supervisors and I start getting ready for the defence … teren, teren! Then I could be finally graduating and giving my imaginary speech…lol. I also have exams right now, I had even almost forgotten about them.

It’s labour day tomorrow! Yaaay for a weekend in the middle of the weekday. I just can’t wait to be done with all these reading stuff. Maybe I can have my almost normal life once again.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

 

The Thin Line

If there’s one thing that confuses me or I just seem not to understand is where to draw the line between independence and dependence. So  that you can understand where I am coming from, let me give you my mini-story. I have the most amazing parents, let’s just start there. My baby sister can be the witness. We’ve never lacked what we need. We’re not rich per se, we’re wealthy but not materially. What am trying to say is we have been able to get what we need, not necessarily what we want. While I was growing up, I was under a good shelter in good neighbourhoods,  I ate delish food (save for the githeri days and how I devour it nowadays), went to very good schools, dressed well by my standards. All this was provided by both my parents in their different capabilities. I grew up seeing both my parents work and provide for the family.

Miss Independent

Somehow I knew when my parents had money and when they didn’t. They didn’t have to really tell us. It wasn’t rocket science that mid-month was a tricky time to ask for something pricey. My mum was very open about her finances, my dad oh well, you know men. He wasn’t, but he made it clear when he didn’t have and when he got it if whatever it is you’re asking for made sense to him and he had the resource, he would take you to get it. Lucky me huh? I was blessed, still am. The other thing I was indirectly taught was how to budget my money, work around what I have and not live beyond my means.

My dad faithfully gave me money for lunch and transport every single day all through my undergraduate studies. He never asked me to work (unless ironing his shirts, washing his car or serving him food and coffee counts) or find means to get that money. It didn’t probably mean much then but it definitely means more than much now. This is because I know the struggle. After I got my very first job, which was not ‘oh so glorious’ but left me with the best experience, I promised myself that I will never borrow money even from my parents. I will  really work hard to provide for myself. My reasoning being that the two most important people in my life (the parents) have worked their asses off for me to get here so that I can be self-sufficient and independent. That’s just what I always strive to be. I want to be able to take care of them when they old, I want to chip in where I’m need or even sometimes not.

Did that make me who I am today? To a very large extent it did. It influenced my thought process with regards to independence. In my head, it’s make it or make it. There’s no other option. One thing I would never want on me is the inability to provide for (to the very least) myself. I wouldn’t want someone else to be responsible for me. I mean, that’s why my parents worked hard to ensure they’ve armed me with the resources that will ensure I am able to be independent. You get my drift right?

Then here comes the problem, where do you draw that line of independence and dependence when you’re in a relationship or when you’re married? I have attended some bridal showers and girl discussions that put the man in charge of certain things, actually most if not all things. He’s the sole provider, the one who handles the big bills. The woman is the one who takes care of him you know, make sure he’s cleaned up, well fed, happy and such like non-material things. I don’t disagree with this, but that’s how it used to be ages ago. Now we’re evolving. The economy is as well. Does it allow for the woman to be completely dependent on the man? I’m talking about the average man, not the president or the president of a multinational. The man who’s probably at the same level with you work-wise. You have the same fears, struggles, opportunities and so on.

Some may say if you give them that role to be the sole provider, they’ll be more hard-working and they will ensure that there’s bread on the table come rain or sunshine. That’s nice but with so many but’s on my part. What will make the man not look down on you as the woman who’s dependent on him? What if one day he finds it burdensome? What if you’re indebted to him, such that it becomes a blackmail for you to do things for him because he’s the sole provider. These things happen. We are human and we have feelings, especially when most of the pressure is exerted on you.

I’m not for that school of thought, it makes me cringe at the thought. I’m for the school of thought of sharing responsibilities. Why? Because I think it’s only fair. If the man feels like providing much more, thank God *chuckles*. I wouldn’t mind being offloaded some responsibilities. I mean, who wouldn’t? However, I stick to sharing is caring. If you split roles based on your financial ability. When you’re open with each other it’s easier because then someone won’t be overburdened with responsibilities they can’t handle. We need to have two scenarios though for those who are secretive. List down all the bills (not personal bills like the salon, new shirt, new shoes, no), bills that affect both of you (house rent/mortgage , electricity, water, savings, house shopping, school fees, TV e.t.c), then you can decide who does what or how you’ll help each other pay these or achieve these together. Then you can remain with your other money which you’ll use to your own liking. No one in the house will judge you if you decide to do some impulse buys because you’ve handled your stuff. I am probably saying this because am so used to being independent in terms of handling my own responsibilities. I don’t know how it’ll be when I have to split them up with my other half. I will write a post in future and refer to this one.

I hate asking for things especially things money related. I don’t like being told NO, and chances are that if its money related there will be a long explanation probably leading to a NO. That being one of the reason I believe in maintaining my independence. At least I don’t have to ask someone, just consult if what I am investing in is worth while. What about if he offers to provide? I am all for it, I won’t refuse of course. Now I can say that. Before (1 or so years ago) I used to feel weird when someone who’s not my parents buys me something (gifts). I used to think it’s because they want something back or something will be expected back in future. You know how parents can drill that into you so that you don’t rely on other people. To some extent that was true.

As you grow, you have to know how to differentiate those people that give because they expect something in return and those who give just because they love to do so and don’t expect anything in return.

You don’t want to be indebted or owe someone something because you were dependent on them at one point or another. It’s also good to know the kind of person you’re with. Is it someone who willingly shares responsibility with you or is it something you’re forcing on to them. I believe if it’s voluntarily, you won’t feel burdened but if it’s not you’ll need some jail breaking. Also, I think the independence is viewed more material than it is immaterial. We forget we also need independence in our thoughts, skills, abilities and so on. The big conclusion is that while we’re independent we still want our men to be there for us by all means. For the love, support, encouragement, company, protection among very other many things. Don’t you?

LOL

NeYo also had something to say about the independent woman. What are your views on this? Miss Independent or Miss Dependent, what’s your take?

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Stuck in a Box?

Yesterday as I was walking home I had one of those moments of deep thought. I was thinking about fear, doubt, indecision and all those things that come to you when you’re supposed to do something that is to some extent out of your comfort zone. It’s like we have as part of our factory settings that function called “FEAR”. This leads you to lack belief in whatever you’re engaging in, doubt that you’ll be able to go through it or even do it, and indecision, you can’t seem to know which direction to take, what to do.

I think this function incapacitates you for a moment. If you allow it, it could be for a life time. It’s like you’re stuck in a box and you think how there’s no life outside it. Or rather how will you manage life outside that box that you’re oh so used to? It’s already comfortable, it’s enough. Then why go ahead and try out something that doesn’t necessarily promise you the comfort of this box? Many of us live inside that box, we do everything in our ability to convince ourselves that that box is all we need and anything past that is not that necessary. But is that the case really?

We humans were born curious but also inherently fearful of things both known and unknown. It’s good when you fear God, but bad when the fear hinders you from exploring your curiosity. It’s that curiosity that will tell you, “that box is growing too small for you” or “there’s something called ‘claustrophobia’ and that box could be the cause”. You know those things that will make you do everything in your ability to want to get out of that box. This box, it’s just not a box. Just think of all those things that you think of or imagine of doing and they make you cringe even at the thought of it. It could be anything.

For instance, the thought of starting my thesis gave me the total creeps. I wondered about the topic, where I will get the research stuff, how I will write it up, how I will defend it, how I will do the questionnaires, how I will analyze them and finally how I’ll defend the final thesis. It was all about the why’s, where’s and how’s. Surprisingly, I am past half the trouble. I tell you the fear is real, up until you remove the doubt and make that decision that gets you out of your comfort zone and work at make those things work for you. That’s just one example. There are so many others things or situations that still get me thinking, “hmmm, how will I even do that or how will I get there.”

Are you stuck in a box and wondering how you could ever kick yourself out of it? Just do it, Nike couldn’t have said it better. Outside the box will at some point become inside the box once you adapt to it. You build comfort over time. Then you’re at your curious stage once again, where you get bigger than the box. It’s a vicious cycle.

I highly doubt there’s a point someone will be completely at peace in their comfort zone, even at the point of self-actualization (recall Maslow’s hierarchy of needs). We’re always looking for more successful, more satisfying, more and more things. Your wanting list grows exponentially. If that’s the case, is it fit to be called a comfort zone? It doesn’t seem so comfortable after all, because even when we think it is, we’re yearning for more comfort as we chase what’s outside our box.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Stupendous Snippets

Ever had those days that you don’t expect something magical to happen, then voilà! Out of the blues someone, something happens. It could be a brilliant “out of the ordinary” idea, an awesome find, a delicious something, a successful plan, some awesome company, or a SALE. Not because it’s out of this world, but because it is just what it is.

My girlfriend E discovered a sale on some shoes then when she was going to show me hers I spot a two pair  as well. They were on sale, got them without putting too much thought into it. After all, at the back of my head I have been saying I need some extra pair of heels to rock my dresses that I will add to my small collection. Plus the heel was just right, can’t walk in 6″ heels, I’ll gully creep after a few steps…lol

Red and Black Pumps…

All these good things were happening on Friday, including these rubber shoes. I was on my way home and I happened to pass through the mall, I think I’m a supermarket addict. Sometimes I just go just because it’s there. Then of  course I buy something that I didn’t really need. Bata had just opened a new branch at the mall so I walked in just to see what they had in stock without the intention of buying anything. Then as I looked around, I see rubber shoes. Black ones. They were cheap and on 20% discount, why not have them? Okay, I got them.

Bata Rubber Shoes…

It wasn’t all about shoes though. If you recall, I moved to a normal house…lol, you know what I mean. One with a full sitting room, and I had wondered how I’ll be accommodating people who come visit me. See I care about you, I can’t just subject you to the carpet. I only had one seat and that wasn’t enough. Getting extra seats is an expensive affair and I wasn’t going to invest in that at least this month or the next. So what to do? My parents being old school were saying plastic seats O_o, ah ah! My sister was like no never, haha! Then the boyfriend suggested poofs … BRILLIANT! I call my furniture guy, he gets my concept and fixes me something to my liking.

Poofs, my alternative to seats for now.

There are those people who make your rather boring weekend or days rather interesting. You know how they bug you, they bully you, they care for you, they make you laugh, the piss you off, they make it up, they love you, they enjoy being around you, they want your attention, they don’t want it, they’re complicated, but I understand them. The two munchkins here are those people for me. They’re a hand-full and they both happen to be lastborns, gosh the pressure! They look spoilt yah?

The Lastborns and the Firstborn Me

Remember the FREE medical check up out reach I was telling you about the other day? Well, it happened this Sunday and I am proud to say that it was a success as the turn out was pretty good for a start. Considering our target was mainly the women and mothers in Kahawa Wendani community and surrounding areas. It could have been far for you but they’ve got to start from somewhere ain’t it? To bigger better and closer to you next time. I would like to urge people to push their people to go for these random medical check ups. They may seem not so important, but they are. Even if you’re not doing it for you, at least do it for your loved ones.

FREE Medical Check Up Out Reach at Rithika Medical Centre

I saw this one on the internet and I am definitely stealing that design. I can see myself in it already. A girl’s got to show a bit of leg you know. It looks absolutely stunning, and the lady in it has definitely done it some well deserved justice.

What do you think?

Other things I was up to over the weekend:

Watching

The voice. This is one is way better than Idols, which is way better than our local project fame. The artiste is judged  by their voice (talent) and not how they look. Then once they’re in, they’re coached by grammy award artistes. The likes of Adam Levine *swoon*, Cello Green, Christina Aguilera and Blake Shelton. I was literally glued to the T.V. It’s an amazing show. It shows you how people go through stuff, but still hold on to their talent.

It also goes ahead to bring out the importance of family and friends who are like family. They’re the only ones who stand by you when you’re hitting rock bottom, and when you’re soaring in the skies.

Doing

Housework. I discoverd that I get so many ideas running through my mind when I am busy doing housework. That’s when I think of what I want, where I want to be, what I want to do and such like things. Strange huh? But getting there always needs some extra mojo, who likes doing housework anyway? Plus it’s a form of exercise or so I’d like to convince myself.

Listening

To Size 8 – Mateke and Sauti Sol – Still the One. The new local singles that have just been released. I like, totally like!

Wanting

A stereo! I want one I don’t know why, but I really want one.

Wishing

That what you’ve hoped for comes to be. Sometimes our hopes and wishes may take a while to come to be, maybe they’re giving us time to be sure that that’s what we want, just in case we change our minds or it was just a thing of the moment. Because when they come to be, they come in ten fold. Like you’ve got to pinch yourself to make sure that what is happening is really happening and you’re not dreaming.

Has that ever happened to you? It’s happened to me a couple of times, and I’m still looking forward to more and more. My hope tank is still full…lol. Thanking God everyday.

The weather may be dull and blue but may your Monday and the rest of your week be full of sunshine. Blessings!

Signing Off ~~~*Kawi*

#OnceUponAKenyanTime

It was a trending topic yesterday and it got me thinking of all the things that made my childhood the best childhood ever. From the cartoons (looney toons, saber rider, road runner, sonic the hedge hog, Denver, sky dancers, captain planet, anamaniacs, lion king e.t.c), to the snacks (goodie goodie’s, super snack, crunchie, ball gums, kashata’s e.t.c), the programmes (fresh prince, full house, martin, derrik, sunset beach, sister sister, seventh heaven, Tausi, Tahamaki, club kiboko lol e.t.c. ), the games (shake, rounders, brikicho ‘hide-n-seek’, cha mama, scrambo e.t.c) that kept me outside till dark when the house-help comes looking for you to go take a bath (that bit wasn’t fun). There was the music ( brandy, 3T’s, Monica, soul for real, sisqo, DMX, Ja-Rule, Bow Wow childhood celebrity crush e.t.c). How we would do cut outs from the Sunday paper on exercise books to get the lyrics so that we can sing-along when their songs are playing. Growing up in the 90′s was just it. There was so much time to do out door things especially as kids. I think it gave us so much room for development (both mental and physical). We had time to have socialize with neighbors and have fun while at it. Now? I don’t even know who my neighbors are and I don’t see me getting to know them any time soon.

It was the era between non-technology and technology. Technology has changed things I tell you. From the great wall black and white  T.V’s to colored now digital / L.E.D /3D TV’s. Cartoons are now more than ever complicated, they force the kid to grow up so fast. Games are even worse (from the simple brick game and adventure / fighting games (super mario, tekken, street fighter and so on) – now we’re on simulators for games). I am just wondering in the next say 30 years how life will be? There will be a gadget for doing everything. You will basically need to do nothing. Currently everyone is working on making life extra ordinarily easier. I can bet people may eventually end up not knowing each other offline.

Then there are just those things that were the best at taking “pain” away. Especially if you’re feeling unwell. You know kids,  they get sick every so often. Then your mum very appropriately asks you, “*insert home name*, what do you want to eat today?”. I would really like to know what some of your responses were. Mine was always an automatic, “FRIES and SAUSAGE”. I mean, I didn’t even have to think about it. Sometimes that would even make me forget that I was actually sick when the excitement checks in. But you know, you have to maintain your sick act or else the next day you’ll be up in the morning preparing for school…lol (that preparing for school in the morning part wasn’t fun. I remember there was a time I was so sleepy after the help woke me up, and instead of going to bathe I went ahead to sleep in the bath tub and she didn’t notice, my mother wasn’t amused ha ha. It’s never been repeated).

This previous Easter weekend, in the midst of all the moving we decided to make home fries. Best decision since I genuinely love home fries. Home-made fries can make me happy any day, any time as the taste is … oh so delish. So we started the preparations of making home fries. I was the one doing the potato peeling, then the boyfriend took over and made the chips slices. Talk of someone who complements your weaknesses. Yes, making chips slices is not my forte.

Then somehow, he’s the one who took over the rest of the frying. I was not allowed to comment on anything and when I started “won’t they burn”, “isn’t the heat too much” … I was shoo’ed off the kitchen. Some sausages were added to complete the meal. Plus what’s a meal without chilled ribena. I was in heaven for a moment, that’s redefined yumminess. It was nostalgic. Just that this time we’re the one’s making them. At least no one was sick and the following day was work day, no excuse for not waking up early.

Well, thanks to technology, in future I intend to get a potato peeler, a potato cutter (you know the ones that help you cut potato into chips) and a chips maker. This will eliminate the effort used to make this meal. But are they all necessary really? They make work easier yes, but don’t they spoil all the fun involved? We had fun prepping this home-made fries and the effort made them even taste better. What’s your take though?

I wonder what the “cure meal” for kids nowadays is?

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

It Gets Better…

Whoop whoop! I moved, I unpacked, I settled and I love it!

LOL. I couldn’t do it silently. That’s for Ninja’s!

So much for having those major cringes and unfounded fears that come with change. You know that uneasy feeling in your tum tum that makes you wonder, what will happen, how will I do it, will I manage, what if I don’t like it???? Well, I rebuked all those feelings. I have done this two times now, moving houses. I gave my notice and my former landlord was more than encouraging (God bless them), I think I was looking for signs from everywhere. Like before I told them I want to move out, I did quite some pacing at their door step before knocking the door. I was telling myself if they react negatively, that’s a sign. Then of course they didn’t. Ha ha ha on my face.

The one thing they (my landlord and his wife) told me that got me feeling all melty on the insides was, “your landlord on the other side will definitely have a good tenant. We’ve enjoyed having you here.” Someone say humbling. I’m not the best there is, but I try to live well with those around me and also leave them well when the time comes. I believe in not burning bridges. There’s a reason why you meet people and interact with them in various ways. One day you will need them, not now, not tomorrow but someday, when you least expect it. I have seen my parents meet friends whom they were with in their youth. That’s like 20+ years ago. They meet in the streets, in offices, in the kids schools, in weddings or in family meetings. This world is big in size but small in its connections. That 6 degrees of separation vibe gets more real.

So it finally happened. Though while at it, I was also looking for assurance from people. Why we do this when we want to make a decisions always beats me. If only we could make a decision, believe in it and abide by it.  So I kept telling people I’m moving, then when they ask me where, to what and why? I’m like here and to this. Funny because I had thought of all these things ( distance, security, convenience to amenities, traffic, water e.t.c. ) as I was looking for a place. The reason I chose that place is because I could almost justify the place will meet my current needs and at the same time cover the things mentioned. But people have opinions, we all do. So they’ll give you opinions but in the end you have to make your own choice. Because as people give you opinions, no one is walking in your shoes.

You are the one who knows the comfort or discomfort of your shoes. Whether it’s too tight, or too loose, too high or too flat. Or just the right fit for you. Then you decide whether to continue suffering in its discomfort, get another, fix it. Choice is always yours.

The best thing about this moving experience was the support I got. I have never gotten this much support before. The first time I moved, it was just me and my dad. The second time, I was more or less alone, until I bumped into a friend who offered a hand shortly (God always has your back). The third time was the best of all times. I was with the boyfriend (aka knight in shining armor), a girlfriend E (the girl every girl needs to have), baby sister C (the little distraction we all need) and mummy dearest (super momma). They made it not feel so new and foreign. There was lots of food (thanks to the mother, bless her) and laughter (the 3 other culprits who crack each other up) as we unpacked and cleaned up. Oh yeah, got hand me down curtains to keep me going till I get mine. I have windows, many windows *excitement*. I love this new experience, different from the previous one, which was different from the 1st one. Let me revel in it and make it homely!

Housewarming? It’s already warm thanks to the 3 lovely helpers. But for once I can have a couple of visitors at the same time. LOL. I just need more plates, cutlery, sitting space and so on. I had 4 actually 3 of each before. That needs to change soon. I can hold a parrrrty! But we don’t stop here, cheers to bigger and better when the time’s right!

How about you have yourself a whimsy Wednesday and remember that positive thoughts breed positive results, that’s the secret. If you don’t know how to be positive (it can be quite the uphill task especially when things don’t seem to be looking up or going your way). You can try this out ↓ it milks the positive out of you!

Signing Off ~~~*Kawi*

Bury then Unbury

There are two kind of things in this world, those things that are in your control, then those things that are either beyond or not in your control. If you’re in control, then you’re safe. If it’s beyond your control, you’re in danger. There are two things involved when it’s beyond your control, you either bury it for that moment then work on it later or let go and let be. When you let go and let be you’re in danger. If you bury it for the moment and plan to work on it later, oh well, that’s the best thing to do. Lol was trying to pull a Basket Mouth (you know that famous Nigerian Comedian)move and I’ve sort of failed … not so miserably though.

I experienced that the other day while going around school trying to get some stuff signed to enable me to continue with the last two chapters of my thesis. Lecturers can really de-psyche you when it comes to finding them to give you a signature here or a stamp there. That time you have sneaked out of work to get these stuff done because ideally it’s supposed to be some 15 mins work. Frustrating I tell you. So many times you feel like letting go and letting it be. Then you think, the lecturers won’t chase you around, you have to chase them around. You’re the one who wants to graduate and get a master’s degree ain’t it.

So while in the chase, I met with a random classmate who I don’t even talk to that much except in when in class discussions. Of course with all my frustrations and being very Kenya I give a synopsis of my current hurdle. Ah this school, this lecturers, how do I go about this and that *rant and raves on how crappy all those are*. These guys can make you feel like just giving up on these stuff. The dude goes like, “aaah just that? Just bury it and get back to it next week” me:  “O_O say what?”. That’s the solution to my BIG problem. Considering how distraught I was, I couldn’t even make a sound decision at that point.

That’s what happens to us. Sometimes all we need to do is bury a problem or something we see as a problem then unbury it when we are refreshed. We usually try to solve problems when we’re angry, when we are distraught and end up making poor decisions while we could have gone for a breather then taken it up when we’re cooled down, well rested. I noticed that helps in our decision process. It’s not every-time we’ll be able to solve problems there and then. I’m a sucker for doing that, so when it doesn’t happen I get frustrated. But then again, life doesn’t always allow you to have your way. You have to get accustomed to it and come up with ways of going around it. Which is what my classmate had done. That day, it worked for me. It helped me not to give up on something that just needed a little more time for it to work out.

Words you could perhaps use during Easter…

ION, Happy Easter good people. What will you be up to this LONG weekend? Don’t tell me travelling because I’m already jealous, for Peep’s sake, I should have been on that road trip. However, I’ll be busy moving houses, settling in and getting used to the newness of the place. I’ll probably boil eggs and hide them to get the Easter feeling. It’s the only weekend I could get to move then manage to relax while at it and have a sweet eggscape. You know cute chicks could do with a little rest. That’s me cracking myself up.

LOL, see what I did there. Thanking God for bigger and better this season. It couldn’t come at a better time. Happy Easter!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*