Tag Archive | Life

What Makes Up The Best Relationships?

“The best relationships are by those people who’ve been in the murk, together. Walked right through it and seen each other step into the light, together.” ~ Kawi

Technically, relationships are not easy. I always say that, because they are not. We want to make it easy, but the people in it are complicated. Generally, people are complicated, even those that say they’re not guilty. People are different. We’ve been brought up in different set-up’s and backgrounds, we have different personalities, we have different needs and wants, we see things from a different perspective and have our own standing opinions, which we want to be heard and believed, we have different principles, some or most of which differ. It’s crazy. Just think about it that way. Then these two people are supposed to love each other effortlessly and easily … no drama, no disagreements, and no differences, that’s impossible. Isn’t that the perfect relationship for you?

Relationships, Life, Life Lessons

Let me burst the bubble, I’m sure many have before, but there’s no perfect relationship. There are no two people you can look at and say these two are the S.I Unit of a perfect relationship. Don’t go into a relationship thinking that it’s going to be perfect; don’t even try to make it perfect. Truth is, it can never be, unless you’re dating yourself. I don’t mean to be a pooper, I’m just being honest. When you get into a relationship, or you’re thinking of getting into one, be realistic. Be realistic with yourself and the person who you’re getting in to the relationship with. Realistic = Happy People.

In life, I love learning. In as much as sometimes it can be piercing, tear jerking and very humbling. At the end of the day, the lessons make you a better person, makes you see things in different light, and while at it, they make your heart lighter.

You see, in relationships, there are two people. Two people who live differently, because you’re your own person. You’re different in all ways except the part where you’re interested in each other. So how do these two people connect? How do they understand each other and know what the other person need and wants? What makes up the best relationships?

Communication

It’s key. Sometimes we make assumptions about the other person or want the other person to read your mind and actions and miraculously know what’s running through your mind. Unless you have special powers, that’s unrealistic. You need to talk to each other and understand where someone is coming from or why they are making this decision and not the other.

Zero Pride

Your ego, it’s big, it keeps growing. That’s how it’s meant to be, but for the relationship, it needs to be contained. You need to humble yourself. The moment you’re in a situation and you think of “I” before “other person”, that’s pride. Cancel that thought and think about “the other person” and then “I”. I learn this the hard way, but it’s a lesson worth learning. Sometimes I wonder, “why am I doing this and he also didn’t do this” or if he asks why I didn’t do something, instead of being apologetic and correcting that, I am like “why didn’t you do that for me as well.” Haha, you do that too huh?

Relationships, Life, Life Lessons

Non – Judgmental

You’re in this person’s space and they’re in yours. The least you can do is let them be without looking at them with judgmental eye. They want to tell you stuff but you shut them down or over-react. Relationships are about extended friendships (like a friend but now with exclusive perks). The same way you’d tell your friend something and you don’t expect them to judge you is the same way it should be in a relationship. I don’t know why when we’re in relationships we become overly sensitive and tacky over anything your person says. The feelings are caught faster than a 737 take off, maybe we need to just calm down and relax.

Enjoy Each Other

Yup, just as it is. Involve each other in your plans, share your dreams and enjoy each other’s company. Introduce them to your friends and vice versa. Let them into your life and them into yours. It makes everything easier, because you won’t feel like you’ve been left outside the box and everyone is having a sick party inside the box. This world can be lonely, but don’t let it be lonely for the person by your side. At least not when you’re there.

Relationships, Life, Life Lessons

There’s no winner or loser in your arguments or opinions. They all matter, so air them and hear each other out. It’s not a competition, you’re in the same team, remember. We forget this, I forget this. This is a reminder, let’s support and correct each other in love.

Thanking the boyfriend for taking us to a place where we learn these things together. Some of these things, you can never sort out alone. If you’re in a relationship, it takes two to tango.

Happy Easter lovelies, keep safe. Lots of Love, Light and Peace!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

 

Simplicity Equals Functionality

Normally, I don’t go back to read on what I have written before, because it’s awkward reading what I’ve written. You know the same way it’s awkward listening to your voice. I don’t know if you find it awkward, do you? I already know I wouldn’t make a good radio presenter. I cringe when I hear my voice somewhere in an audio/video (not that it’s bad, don’t burst my bubble just yet, it’s just … awkward).

Anyhow, I decided to just go back and see what I’m usually on about and I figured I really underestimate myself. I still don’t think I’m really good at whatever I do. I’m confident I can do it, but that’s just about where it ends.  Looking back, I actually do say things that make sense even days and years after.

I forget what I wrote about, when I wrote it, why I wrote it and what I was going through when I wrote it.

Every post has its account. There’s a reason I decide to take a particular angle and not another or why one I decide to say this and not that. Maybe that’s why I don’t revisit them, because I go through a situation, learn my lesson and move on. But I have come to realize that most of the stuff that happens in most cases is not new. It’s the same old experience regenerating itself, in a lesser or a greater way. And the same lessons you learnt then, are the same lessons you learn now. Only difference is that maybe your maturity level has increased and you’re able to handle the situation better.

This could be anything ranging from family, friendships, relationships, career, personal experiences, or general life things. The posts are also a reminder that I’ve grown, even how I process things. I like it when people read the articles and interpret the story by themselves without trying to figure out why I wrote what I did or what drove that thought. I love it when someone can relate a story to their life and even more when it helps them through a situation. Many at times, I also look for inspirations from others through their books, blogs and conversations.

In other related news, one of my “new year” i.e. Birthday resolutions, was to make my life more functional. To me, functionality = simplicity. You can use sites such as OLX Free Classifieds to fix something or buy something that’s functional and reduce the clutter, then you have made your life a little simpler.

Kawi Snippets

That couch – got a carpenter to make one for me, can’t wait for it + the decor on there is just it … ideas). Fixed a cupboard my mum had handed down to me, now it looks fancier. Finally got a cooker – baking can become a reality.

For some reason, I like keeping stuff, but at the same time, I hate clutter and I value space. When I gave this some thought, I figured what I needed is functionality, hence the resolutions. Now, have yourself a lovely 4-day week and #ChaseYourDream.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

A Small Gift, Mini-Afro and Big Lesson

Of those gifts you receive and appreciate because its the thought that really counts, but at that moment you disregard it’s function. I’m sure you’ve received such a gift, no? It’s value is not felt immediately. You probably get home and stack it away in your closet hoping that it comes to be of use. Sometimes you just keep it because it’s a gift and it has some sentimental value.

Well, I don’t receive too many gifts, and especially not at random times of the year. This time, when I chopped my hair, my former colleagues gifted me with a metallic afro comb and a flower hair clip, that was a first. My hair was at base level, so the gift didn’t make sense then. I was all grins because it was a gift and which girl doesn’t love gifts? Whether big or small or if it makes sense or no sense.

Then my hair grew to mini-Afro level and my finger combing tactics were getting a little out dated. It just wasn’t working any more and my hair would get tangled up or look pretty untidy. Then one day as I oil my hair, stacked at the back of my made up “dressing corner” I see the that thing we can equate to “an oasis in the desert”, the metallic Afro comb. Then Arufeni’s wise words came to mind, “you’ll need this sometime” and the time was then.

Afro, Gifts, Blessings, Life Lesson

Moral of the story, sometimes we receive our blessings way ahead of time and they don’t make sense then. We have to go through a phase or a season for the blessing to reveal itself and make itself useful in your life in its time. Don’t trash or undervalue gifts given to you just yet. Receive them, keep them and give them time to mature. Give them time to bring value to your life, because that’s the intention of the gift-giver. While you receive physical gifts from loved ones, blessings are your gifts from God. That’s how he shows you some love, most times, it’s through other people.

Thank you Arufeni and Lydia, now I see the value of the comb. It might have been a small gesture, but it has taught me a big lesson.

Signing Off ~~~*Kawi*

Growing Up With Eczema

 Eczema is a term for a group of medical conditions that cause the skin to become inflamed or irritated. The most common type of eczema is known as atopic dermatitis, or atopic eczema. Atopic refers to a group of diseases with an often inherited tendency to develop other allergic conditions, such as asthma and hay fever. Source

I was just explaining to my friend how I grew up with a bad case of atopic eczema and I thought, maybe I should let you in on that one too. It all started when I was barely 2 months. That’s when my eczema broke out as my mum would tell me. It was dermatologist to dermatologist to figure out what was going on because I would have insistent rushes on my body. They established it was atopic eczema but none of them gave proper treatment that would cure the skin allergies. It got worse every time the weather changed or I wore certain kinds of clothing.

Boshori, Child Headgear

She told me how she once bought a cute woolen headgear (otherwise known as “boshori”). She was so excited to have it on me,  little did she know that my delicate skin was not so welcoming to certain cloth materials. As cute as it looked, it looked even cuter on me, but the itching was in excess and when she got it off, there was a collection of rushes on any part of my face the headgear had touched.

In most of my kid photo’s, my skin was patched, a little lighter here, darker there, rushy here. It was not pretty (at least that’s what I felt then), not on pictures and I guess not in person too. I think I plucked & hid so many pictures from the album so that my friends don’t see them and make rough comments or ask who that was. It reached a point after many appointments and many ointments, that she decided to take matters to her own hands. She’s nurse by profession, a good one at that. She did her concoctions and somehow, it worked for the better part of my life. It would heal then recur with seasons (when it’s hot, when it’s cold), environmental changes (occurrence of pollen, dust), food (we tried weaning off many foods – dairy, wheat, protein, but never quite identified anything I was allergic to), clothes materials (wool, silk, net). I had somehow already gotten used to it.

The eczema was mainly on my face and joints (back of my legs, on my hands, neck – technically, the rashes would appear anywhere but those were the most concentrated areas). How I handled it? I think I owe it to my mum because it would’ve easily been worse. She explained to me from a young age what eczema was and what it wasn’t. She told me it wasn’t contagious and it wasn’t a disease (contrary to what other kids would tell me in school). She told me it was allergy, allergy to certain things which we were slowly discovering together. Of course sometimes I would turn a blind eye to things I was told to avoid. Like when I was told to avoid eggs. I was that kid at birthday’s asking, “does the cake have eggs”, it was always yes, but I sneaked a bite or two. You can only deny a kid so much.

It became my way of life and I got used to it. When it recurred, I would apply the ointments then it subsides and life goes on. At some point, I used to thank God it’s eczema I have and not something else. I came to accept it. Even though at times when the skin gets dry & flaky I’d try conceal it. Sometimes I’d just expose and prepare myself to explain to anyone who asked why my arms have rashes or my face patches. It was the story of my life.

In high school, I got away with eating special diet and not touching dirty water, which meant I didn’t do difficult duties. Reason, I was “allergic” to them. I didn’t even have to get a note from the doctor as it was evident on the skin. I kinda used it to my advantage. By then I was so used to managing it, since I always had my ointments with me. Also lotions were a no-no, most of them were watery which didn’t get along with my skin. So Vaseline and it’s variants worked just fine. Make up, also a no-no, because I could easily react to the chemicals.

Then for some reason, I out grew it. The eczema cleared off. My skin color became even, no patches. There was no trace of eczema. Isn’t that miraculous? Sometimes I get a slight reaction and it bugs me. The small doses of it – from small rashes from reactions to the unknown, allergies (eye itches, sneezing), but they’re manageable and containable. Sometimes, I forget what it felt like to be that girl with heavy rash patches on my joints. It’s easy to forget, when you can pose for a pic with flawless skin or zero patches. I don’t take it for granted, because at one point in my life, I experienced the stigma that comes with eczema.

If you’re going through that phase, you’ll get past it, it’s not permanent and even if it is, that’s just part of who you are. Visit a good dermatologist (in my 27 years I’ve never gotten one that I can vouch for), get an ointment that your skin approves of (and that’s devoid of steroids or that you can apply systematically), an oil that blends with your skin and let it run its course. Don’t let it affect your personality or self-esteem. Those that love you, will look past your skin.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Kawiria Writes – Let’s Dream

This season we’re talking dreams, it’s all about chasing your dreams. This got me wondering what my dream is. This is some serious *excuse my French but…* shit. I don’t know what my Big *Everest* Dream is. Or rather I can’t say it out loud to anyone, which simply means, I don’t know. I have small goals, you know the 3 year, 5 year, 10 year plans – that cater for my lifestyle – career, family and status things. I know where I want to be and at what point but what’s that thing that everything I do, think and say, guide me to?

On giving it a little thought, I think it has something to do with writing or better yet blogging. I love it and enjoy it while at it. My mind wanders, and then settles. Writing takes me to some place, my little piece of nirvana, as I’d like to call it. It’s what I’d like to be identified with. Kawiria writes. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to write a book. I am pathetic at sticking to a story line that’s longer than blog post, unless of course I have a blogook – A book that will be a collection of all my “to go” posts. But honestly, my unpackaged dream is to inspire through my life lessons, or life lessons learnt through others and put them into perspective. I may not be the most exposed or experienced person on earth, but I believe that there’s a reason for my existence don’t we all.

Blogging, Dream, #ChaseYourDream

Now what I need to do is package that dream into something that’s appealing and that I can say and make some sense out of. Something SMART – Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time Bound. Right now it’s very vague. So Kawiria writes, writes what? Let’s work on it, that will be my personal assignment in April. To figure out my Big “Everest” Dream. Maybe I’ll be on a TED Talk telling you about my journey to realizing my dream. A girl can dream, so let’s dream #ChaseYourDream. Have you figured yours out yet?

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Women Lie More and Better?

It’s definitely simpler to lie. It rolls easy on the tongue and gets you off situations fast enough but not long enough. We have our excuses why we do it, sometimes you do it to protect the people around us, to shelter them from any hurt that the truth may cause. Because, most times as it is or we assume it is, the truth hurts. We don’t realize that in the end, it really doesn’t, the truth actually saves you from getting hurt.

Ask anyone who’s been lied to and what they felt when they eventually found out they were being lied to. If you’re that person,what was your reaction? Mine’s always, I wish you had told me the truth.

It’s easier to deal with a truth than with a lie, because once you’re done and the person on the receiving end has reacted, that’s it for you. You’ll know whether it’s gotten you in trouble or everything’s peachy, the verdict happens there and then. On the other hand, when you lie, you’re always waiting for the truth to unfold and the outcome could be uglier. Most of us when in that situation (where you have to make the choice between the truth or a lie to cover it up), lying always seems to be the easier and better option.

20140401-171618.jpg

What made me think of this, was a programme showing on local Tv. I was flipping channels to see what’s interesting, then bam! Women were there discussing how women lie more and better than men. That would certainly would catch my attention. I’m no feminist who are they by the way? but hey, why such a serious accusations to the women folk alone. It was Alfajiri on K24, the discussion went on on why women lie more than men. Whatever they were saying sounded valid because I’ve seen it, heard it and many at times experienced it. At least they didn’t exclude the fact that men lie too, but it was an all women discussion, so they couldn’t talk on their behalf. Jimmy Gathu, was the referral on things men that popped up.

Women would lie for many reasons they said, plus they do it better. For fear of being judged wrongly, being rejected for who they are, to protect the ones they love, because they need to (you know, circumstances). They went on and on, they’re valid reasons, but I think they were lame too. Because lies, they’re not an armor. They don’t shield those things from happening. What they do, is just push you more to the edge of the cliff without your knowledge. The next thing you know, you’re hanging by a thread. The lies that once a protection, don’t even offer a cushion for when you hit the hard ground.

It always starts as subtle lies. Like, about yourself, what you do, where you are, where you live, who you are or that you’ll do something while you know that you won’t or your circumstances don’t allow you to?

What if something happens and the people you’ve lied to find out that you don’t live there because it happened that they need to come visit you without your knowledge or they wanted to surprise you say on your birthday. What if someone you lied to meets your friend and as your name pops up, they ask about what you do & they have conflicting information, just that one knows the truth. Or you lie you’re somewhere you’re not, and someone is asking you because they saw you. Lies need a follow-up, so you have to remember what you lied and stick to it. Isn’t that more frustrating?

In my honest opinion, I’d rather say and hear the truth than a lie any day. Sometimes I have gold-fish memory, so I’d rather not keep a record of lies in my file system, that’s my main reason. I’m not perfect or a saint, I’m not saying I don’t lie to cover my ass, I do sometimes, but now that I think of it, the truth keeps your heart at peace. Plus there’s some matureness that comes with it. It shows that you can trust someone because they are true to you.

Truth is transparency, it doesn’t mean you divulge everything about you or your life, it means that the information you give at anytime is real, it’s you, it’s who you are. Not what you intend to be, or wish you could be or maybe you could put that as a disclaimer as you give the information, saves you a lot.

Truth is honesty, being honest with yourself and those around you. Truth is realistic,  being real not only with yourself but also with those around you.

It was April Fool’s day, hope you weren’t fooled. I wasn’t, for once. The one day you’re allowed to lie and prank people hope you took full advantage of it unlike me. Great week ahead!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Do You Know What Happiness Is For You?

It’s been all things Foundation all day, everyday. For that reason, I hope that you’re coming for the walk this weekend 22nd March at Ngong Road Forest Sanctuary from 8:00am.  It’s going to be some good fun, we can really hold it down. Come for it, then let me know if you had a good time. If you don’t have fun, you’re probably boring *joke*. On a serious note though, the one reason I love this #SaveAMum initiative is because I can’t imagine a life without my Mum. I really can’t. She’s molded me. My baby sister and I are mini-her’s.

Foundation - Blog

I remember when I was growing up, we had our differences. She would deny me permission to go certain places and totally side with my dad on the NO’s. Although she did try to cover me up a couple of times when I fell off the wagon. Or make a big deal if I didn’t clean up my room or help the house-help clean up, to the point of waking us up after going to bed *or pretend to*. She was the morning alarm “Calls out Kawi. Once, twice … Footsteps! That was it,  I would be up before she twists open my door knob because, war!”. She would ask me about school, my dad was worse though, because I had to justify that I was reading and not just busy socializing with friends.

After those wars, she was my bestie. She’s the one I’d run to if I had problems in school, if I had an ache or itch (anywhere…lol), if I just wanted someone to rant to about anything and everything. She would always give me a listening ear. She knows all my friends even without ever meeting some because of all my stories. Through it all, she remains our root. She taught me and influenced the values I hold today. Of course I attribute it to my dad too, but her presence made it easier for him (especially that we’re 2 girls). I would like to #SaveAMum today so that another child can experience this kind of relationship, it’s heavenly.

#SaveAMum, Chase Group Foundation, World Happiness Day

Apparently, today is World Happiness Day. Who knew there was that one day we devote to happiness? These “World Days” never cease to amaze. Well, I’m not the happiest in the brood, but at least I don’t have a reason why I should not have a smile randomly plastered on my face, I’m blessed. No one has clearly pointed out what happiness is yet. Is it a state? Is it a moment? It’s got to be something. When you Google it now, guess the 1st thing that comes up? Yes, Pharrell William’s – Happy. His video shows a picture of happy, I would also be happy if I was in it.

Even if we don’t collectively have an answer, at least we can think of what we feel when we think we’re experiencing happiness. Some of the things that make me get that feeling I would say is “my happy” are:

Writing a blog post

Inviting family and  friends over to hang out or vice-versa

Love, light and peace around me

Accomplishing a goal

Eating delicious food

Good “Upbeat” Music

Beautiful Scenery  (give me a house at a beach front, I’ll be happy forever, promise!)

Lot’s of color on objects

Chatting about everything under the sun

Sharing a good laugh

Catching up with old friends and meeting new friends

Comfort in my space

Problem solving

Selfies

Nothing complicated really even the beach front. As long as these things happen, whenever and wherever they happen, I feel that dash of niceness. However, I think happiness is more internal than it is external and it’s experienced best when it’s felt and shared with others. Happiness can be anything you want it to be, as long as it brightens your soul and it helps you brighten another persons soul.

Signing Off ~ *Kawi*

Go For It. Even When It Seems Impossible.

“Sometimes we forget where we forget where we’ve come from, until someone reminds us”.

Ever been in a situation where someone tells you “if someone had told me this when I was your age, things would have been different?” My folks told me that a lot and for that reason, I always remember. It’s a pity statement, but it has so much impact. It says you have potential that no-one bothered to tap. Sometimes we need that drive, you know someone to tell you, “Go for it” or “You can do it”, simply because you can. It’s so easy to lose hope in yourself and in things around you when you’re faced by an obstacle.

The folks, they didn’t have it easy in their time and they made that very clear. There was no one to give them tips on how they should go about handling the different situations that faced them. Be it school, profession, dating, marriage, parenting … you name it. They always told me that they followed their instincts on whatever felt right and if it turned out wrong, you just work your way through it, alone. There was no one to tell them how to do what they did, there were barely any mentors or even people to motivate them, like we do now.

Tweet, Empower, Youth, Mentorship

The thing that amazes me most about them is that they never forget where they came from. They look back and see what they lacked and they want to make it different for the next generation. They tell us the stories, but they don’t dwell on them. They tell us so that we can be better than they were and do better than they did. They tell us that we have greater opportunities than they did and that we’re better off because we have them to guide us. Your folks have so much knowledge it’s ridiculous. If you say you don’t have a mentor, turn to your folks, your uncles, your aunties, your older friends. They might not be billionaires but they have a wealth of experience and knowledge that can help you become that billionaire that they didn’t become.

Why do you think they ensure that you go to good schools, that they check your report forms and performance in school and bash you when you’re not doing so well? That they want you to figure out what you want to be when you grow up early enough so that you can work towards it? Now it hits me that the question “what do you want to be when you grow up?” was not asked in vain. It comes in handy when we’re chasing our dreams. Dreams are built from a tender age. You might not be what you said you want to be, but at least it helped give you direction. I wanted to be a chef, then a doctor, look at me now, I’m a content girl.

Does that mean I haven’t gotten to where I wanted to be, I don’t think so. I cook some delish food and I’m still learning. I make home remedies and take care of anyone who’s unwell in my presence. But the fact that I had something I wanted to be, had me working hard even if not to be that, at least in the end of it, I found out what I was passionate about. My folks, they didn’t drill me into it. They guided me, and allowed me to be. But with guidance and constant check up’s on how I’m fairing in whatever I delve into. And for that, I really appreciate.

What made me actually think of this, is my baby sister and the tweet up there. She called and told me how school is just tough and draining, the exams, and how she’s scared of ever failing or not getting a first class honors because that would be letting down the folks. This made my heart sink a bit, because I was once in her shoes, same size, color, texture. Exactly the same.

School was tough. Heck, from primary school, secondary school, undergraduate, postgraduate and certifications. They were all so tough. I’m a last minute person (very bad trait) and I work best under pressure, so sometimes I would end up trans-nighting for exams, because failing wasn’t an option. Oh, I burnt that mid-night oil. School is just school, it never gets easy and you never get used to it. Life, life is also tough, the challenges are in excess. Sometimes I look back and the fact that I got through a certain stage, just makes me smile. Because I realize I’m actually stronger than I think I am and most times, more intelligent than I think I am.

School can make you under-rate yourself, life can make you under-value yourself. But if you encounter and engage the right people, people that empower you, they change how you perceive yourself and you become an over-achiever.

When you feel it’s so tough, because it was tough, school is not the end of the world. Many times, I did an exam that was so hard and I saw stars, but when the results came, I hadn’t done that bad, that made me feel better. Pressure is good, really good, because it give you a push, but don’t succumb to it. Don’t let pressure get to you, you get to it. This also reminds me of a time I was clueless in my programming classes, I just didn’t know how to code. But somehow I cracked it, but I was feeling like I just can’t do this anymore.

The folks, the ones who bash you when you feel like school is just crap, they were there, they just sat beside me as I did my project, asked what the system does because that’s all they could do to encourage me. That alone, gave me psyche to learn, to ask my friends for help, to do better. Let me not blow my trumpets but it went uphill. When work sucked and I just felt like I’ve had enough, the folks talked to me and told me of their experiences and that of their friends, and boy! Did I feel much better? People have gone through worse. Your case is just representative of a fraction. And they, those people they tell you about, those people that went rock-bottom, plus themselves too, they pulled through. You will pull through too.

So today, I just want to tell you, “Go for It, Even When It Seems Impossible. Simply because you can.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

 

Week Starter…

We all go through stuff. Yes, we all have issues, doesn’t matter the magnitude they come in, could be the smallest or the biggest but an issue is still an issue. Some similar to other people’s, some that make you feel God just picked you out of everyone else and decided it’s you against the world, some that you would rather just keep to yourself, others that make you want to just retreat and say ‘enough is enough’. What rules despite these issues, is that you’re still alive.

They haven’t killed you. Unless you let them, because you could be alive on the outside but dead in the inside. So just brave them and let them know who’s in control. You always are. That’s what gives you the upper hand. Just that sometimes, you let go of that control role and leave it to the issues and they eat you up. That’s what issues are supposed to do, so they’re doing their job right. How about you? Are you doing yours right? Because you’re supposed to make sure that you manage and control those issues. At the end of the day, you’re supposed to starve them, be strong even when they weigh you down, smile even when they cramp your happiness, raise up and dust yourself even when you feel like you can’t do this any more. You can!

Hence, the phrase ‘what doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger’. As long as your issue hasn’t killed you or you haven’t let it, it’s your way.  The experience is to make you stronger and smarter, so that you hopefully don’t find yourself in the same pit again or if you do, you know how to best handle it.

WATCHING

I have watched a couple of flicks but the one that totally made my day was, Being Mary Jane (Series). What you see, is what really happens. How they play out Mary Jane life, quite the typical girls struggles. It’s a tough world guys, we girls think men have it easier. Maybe not, but to get everything working out for you, you go through stuff and this one captures most.

READING

Chimamanda Ngozi”s – Americanah. Finally and I can’t get over her writing style. I love how descriptive she gets; you feel the presence of the cast, like you’re a fly on the wall. In my book, that’s an absolutely good writing skill.

EATING

I’m in food heaven, and I can never ever complain. We try to make delicious food. Good food can make a lousy day better.

Food, Cooking

LOOKING FORWARD TO

The Chase Group Foundation Charity Walk and Fun Day happening on 22nd March 2014 at Ngong Forest Sanctuary from 8am. The main aim of the walk is to raise funds to train a midwife and in turn #SaveAMum to reduce maternal mortality. Most mothers in Africa don’t have access to medical facilities during child-birth and as a result, maternal mortality is at an all time high.

Chase Group Foundation, #SaveAMum

Participate by simply registering for the Charity Walk and Fun Day. With KES 1,000, you get a T-shirt which serves as your entry ticket. You can also browse through other merchandise that would be of interest to you, buy and help #SaveAMum. Hope to see you there.

SAVING FOR

This couch I really, really, like really want. I know you’re thinking “girls!” but really, it’s so cosy and , I will get it. I’ll share the pics when I do, I’m that optimistic.

WEEK STARTER…

Even when you feel like you deserve it, don’t forget to say thank you, from the bottom of your heart.

Because, you barely do anything alone, it might seem so, but you don’t. For you to be where you are and have what you have, someone somewhere played a role. It could be that, someone checked up on you, someone encouraged you, someone went out of their way to help you, someone gave you an idea, someone gave you an opportunity, someone made you so friggin’ mad, it made you make a move in your life or someone was just there, looking up to you and they gave you the confidence to pursue whatever it is. There are many unseen actions that need to be thanked.

So, thank somebody today.

Have an amazing week now, won’t you?

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

And You let Her Go

You know that grown up feeling that overcomes you for a moment. It’s like an epiphany of sorts and you see something in different light. Something that one point you actually believed that that’s how it should be done. However, given the chance to re-think again today, you’d be like “No, how now?”. Some thoughts or opinions you had before, if revisited can give you a mini heart-attack. I don’t think it’s growing up that caused the change of heart as I’d said at the beginning, but exposure and experience. And that could be why those two are important even as you seek for jobs. Experience and exposure help influence your opinion on certain things, and that’s why…

…opinions are only valid for the duration they’re shared. They could change as soon as you put the full stop.

Anyhow, this epiphany happened as I listened to a current song that I rather like; Passenger – Let her go. Sometimes I listen to songs because of the beats, but when I see myself slowly getting the lyrics in (because I can listen to a song a million times but the lyrics don’t get in, it’s a rare disease called #ijustcantcramlyrics lol), I start to think about what it the artist is trying to bring out. Yeah, I can sing along but maybe I’m chanting illuminati, just kidding, but you know what I mean.

So as I listened on and sang along, I thought “wait a minute, what’s this guys saying?”. Makes sense from the quote “when you love something, let it go, if it was meant to be, it’ll come back, if it doesn’t, it never loved you…” Now, that doesn’t make sense to me anymore, so let me tell you a little something about love, my kind of love. Not necessarily the lover kind of love, just general love. For your family, friends and things.

Clara

You know it when you get it, and you don’t have to let go to know that you have it. Love doesn’t need proof by leaving and seeing whether they’ll (or it’ll) come back. Love just needs a few actions that express what you feel and what the other persons feels for you. Love doesn’t have seasons. Love is not like weather, it’s a constant through out the seasons. Love makes those seasons bearable. What happens within the seasons are feelings. Feelings, which are always bound to change depending on the situation you’re met with. If it’s rainy and it’s muddy and wet, you’ll hate it and wish for the sun, then when the sun is too scotchy, you’ll wish for the cold.

Love like other things in life, have rules, mostly unwritten. A few written. If you read the bible, it makes it easier for you to break the code. That’s why you’d find friends becoming (fri)enemies because of overstepping a love rule. If you disrespect me, then how do we get along? If you don’t forgive me for my shortcomings, then how do you expect this relationship to work out? If you keep my record of wrongs and keep reiterating them, that’s really annoying, just let go and move on, if you’re jealous of my achievement then how do we help each other? If you’re impatient with me, then how do we grow and be there for each other through the highs and lows?

That’s love. Don’t let her go when you love her, keep her instead. Love is about forgiveness, working it out, growing, letting go of baggage and moving on and while at it, the one thing that should stay, is that thing or that person(s) you love. Stupid, would be listening to the quotes and lyrics and letting go to see if the said person or thing will come back, even butterflies don’t. They fly away and find other places where they’ll fit in.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*