Tag Archive | Music

When Impressing Becomes Depressing

I get inspired by songs, who doesn’t? I’m the kind of person who loves a song first because of the beat – upbeat, slow-paced, dance-able, catchy tune, gets me distracted, gets my current mood, I can hum along (I never remember lyrics, so I don’t bother, I just hum away or catch up on the bridge) – but even more because of the lyrics (just because I don’t remember, doesn’t mean I don’t listen to them – with a very keen ear by the way). If the lyrics makes so much sense, that artiste wins my heart. I’m that easy to please.

Colbie Caillat, is just but one of the reasons I love country music. I’m more modern than I think I am, at least based on the kind of country music I like. If I gave my mum to listen to her jams, she’ll be like, “that doesn’t sound like country”. Her country is the Kenny Rogers kind.

As I listen to her song “Try”, it speaks ear loads to me and what I see around. So many times, we want to be seen as who we’re not just to please others. You know the “fake it till you make it” kind of thought process. For example, someone gave this example a few years back explaining it, which I found too hilarious. Your dream car is a Mercedes and you can’t wait to make it (of course financially) so that you can get one. But your current state is that you don’t have a car or well, even better, you drive say a Toyota (I don’t why this one would make you feel any lesser than the person who drives a Mercedes). This thought process is such that you carry a Mercedes-Benz key holder with your Toyota keys or with your “imaginary car” keys so that the people you interact with can think you drive a Mercedes. Apparently, they say the faking it is a declaration that enables you to eventually achieve your dream – or pressures you to go get it. There’s some truth that rings to it, I mean you’re being aggressive and declaring your wealth…Amen! But why not be aggressive while accepting the stages of life you’re in – it’s a growth curve.

Why fake it? So that you can impress someone? So that someone can like you better? For some reason, we feel like we have to be some type of way or act some type of way so that someone (funny, it’s mostly people who don’t give a damn about you) can like you. And if we’re not their type of way, we feel the need to go around doing things that can get us to be their type of way or have them validate us. And while at it, we lose ourselves, because we become someone we’re not. Someone who’s driven not by their own passion or desires, but by what they want to prove to others they are, while they are not.

I think the saddest thing would be losing yourself by trying so hard to be whom you’re not, that being who you are or who you’re supposed to be, becomes a mammoth challenge.

It’s a complicated world already even when you’re yourself, so why complicate it further, by trying not to be yourself? Funny that those people we try to impress have their battles too. They may not show it, but they do.  Battles that we don’t even know about, but we feel like when we get their validation, life will be better. Life feels better when you do you, and are good at it – it gives you contentment, a sense of satisfaction even when you have not achieved all that you’d love to achieve just yet.

I usually say this jokingly but I always mean it, “If I don’t have it, I don’t have it. That doesn’t incapacitate me, I’ll work towards it. If I have it, good for me. On to chasing my next dream, because dreams never die.”

Also something about dreams – I imagine that my dream will never be someone else’s dream – you can share goals but not dreams. Even if we all dream to be presidents (whether of the country or a corporation), chances are that we dream of doing it differently and we will do it differently. I’m pretty sure when God made our finger prints different, he made our thought processes just as different too.

Just be you, it might not impress everyone, but it’ll definitely impress someone without making you step out of your skin.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

And You let Her Go

You know that grown up feeling that overcomes you for a moment. It’s like an epiphany of sorts and you see something in different light. Something that one point you actually believed that that’s how it should be done. However, given the chance to re-think again today, you’d be like “No, how now?”. Some thoughts or opinions you had before, if revisited can give you a mini heart-attack. I don’t think it’s growing up that caused the change of heart as I’d said at the beginning, but exposure and experience. And that could be why those two are important even as you seek for jobs. Experience and exposure help influence your opinion on certain things, and that’s why…

…opinions are only valid for the duration they’re shared. They could change as soon as you put the full stop.

Anyhow, this epiphany happened as I listened to a current song that I rather like; Passenger – Let her go. Sometimes I listen to songs because of the beats, but when I see myself slowly getting the lyrics in (because I can listen to a song a million times but the lyrics don’t get in, it’s a rare disease called #ijustcantcramlyrics lol), I start to think about what it the artist is trying to bring out. Yeah, I can sing along but maybe I’m chanting illuminati, just kidding, but you know what I mean.

So as I listened on and sang along, I thought “wait a minute, what’s this guys saying?”. Makes sense from the quote “when you love something, let it go, if it was meant to be, it’ll come back, if it doesn’t, it never loved you…” Now, that doesn’t make sense to me anymore, so let me tell you a little something about love, my kind of love. Not necessarily the lover kind of love, just general love. For your family, friends and things.

Clara

You know it when you get it, and you don’t have to let go to know that you have it. Love doesn’t need proof by leaving and seeing whether they’ll (or it’ll) come back. Love just needs a few actions that express what you feel and what the other persons feels for you. Love doesn’t have seasons. Love is not like weather, it’s a constant through out the seasons. Love makes those seasons bearable. What happens within the seasons are feelings. Feelings, which are always bound to change depending on the situation you’re met with. If it’s rainy and it’s muddy and wet, you’ll hate it and wish for the sun, then when the sun is too scotchy, you’ll wish for the cold.

Love like other things in life, have rules, mostly unwritten. A few written. If you read the bible, it makes it easier for you to break the code. That’s why you’d find friends becoming (fri)enemies because of overstepping a love rule. If you disrespect me, then how do we get along? If you don’t forgive me for my shortcomings, then how do you expect this relationship to work out? If you keep my record of wrongs and keep reiterating them, that’s really annoying, just let go and move on, if you’re jealous of my achievement then how do we help each other? If you’re impatient with me, then how do we grow and be there for each other through the highs and lows?

That’s love. Don’t let her go when you love her, keep her instead. Love is about forgiveness, working it out, growing, letting go of baggage and moving on and while at it, the one thing that should stay, is that thing or that person(s) you love. Stupid, would be listening to the quotes and lyrics and letting go to see if the said person or thing will come back, even butterflies don’t. They fly away and find other places where they’ll fit in.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Friday Snippets

How could I forget to acknowledge that it’s December. It’s December yo, the first December Friday!

I used to love this month. I used to love it so much until I growing up happened. Not that I love it any less, just that it’s not the same now. It was the month of chilling, parties, gifts, emo movies, classic tunes (carols), hilarious cartoons … and of course of Christmas and New Year. That’s what it was all about. Then growing up happens and we realize for all this things to happen, you’ve got to work your ass out for them. You ain’t going for a party or get gifts if you’ve got no money, bills won’t wait for you to have a good time first then tackle them later. There’s so much expected of you, you have to work to make sure other people experience the goodness of this season as well, just as they’re working to make sure you enjoy it. Those Christmas trees in the malls didn’t put themselves up, the goods & services won’t sell themselves, bills won’t pay themselves. It’s not about chilling any more *wails*

December

Thank God It’s Friday – Tis’ the season to be jolly!

WATCHING

I have watched a couple of flicks but I can barely remember the names. I’m that chic by the way, so I’ll just review the most recent ones.

Prisoners,  it’s about two close families who have their little girls kidnapped and while the case is being followed up the fathers take the matter to their hands and one ends up kidnapping and harassing a retarded kid who they highly suspect is involved in the kidnapping of their kids. Of course with its twists and turns, his “brother” leads them to where the kids were being held hostage with some maze drawings. It’s worth the watch.

Captain Philips, pirates take over a ship from the U.S of A. Of course the seals and navy are alerted and get on board, as the captain of the ship who’s a really intelligent guy is taken hostage by the pirates. Let’s say it’s intriguing, those pirates have the scariest of looks (remember grim ripper), wouldn’t want to be in a room with them.

Best Man Holiday, such an emo movie. It’s a sequel for The Best Man. So after they all start their family life’s; get married, get kids and all, they decide to meet up for the Christmas holidays. It wasn’t without drama, seeing as how the other one ended, but things turn upside down when they find out one of theirs is not well. If I go any further, I will spoil it for you. It’s one of those soppy flicks that chics like. So get it.

Winnie - Weh, Winnie Madikizela Mandela is portrayed as an Iron Lady, one no-nonsense woman. Especially when it comes to defending the rights of the people and politics. She held it strong for her former husband (also former S.A president) Mandela (the Lord rest his soul in eternal peace) while he was in prison for 27 years, just continuing to build his legacy. Although she fell short a couple of times, she was definitely a woman to look up to in more ways than one.

LOVING

The place I’m in. Honestly, I can’t complain about anything but thank God. Everything of course doesn’t always go as planned or as imagined or as thought out. God has his own manuscript up there, so even as you make plans, if it doesn’t match his … that’s where my reasoning ends. But the bible (Jeremiah 29:11) says, he has plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future . Things happen along the way, some quite unexpected, but “what doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger”. As long as we’re healthy and alive, the rest I’ve come to believe, can be worked out.

LISTENING TO

I learnt of a “new” thing called Pop Danthology, a mushup of the coolest songs of the year. I know I’m late to the party, but don’t judge me now. This is the best shiiiii ever! How couldn’t have I known of  mushup’s? Here I was thinking it’s a Project Fame thing, but it’s actually an existing kind of mix. Herehere and here.

If that doesn’t make your Friday any better, I don’t know what will. At least we can say I tried.

READING

*hangs my head in shame* I’m getting myself a book soon. Even just one to keep me busy in my commute. I wasn’t finding anything to tickle my fancy. I’ll give you a review for the book I did last Friday Snippets soon.

EATING

No phone, so pics are a bit of a challenge (for now). They say in Swahili, “Kuteseka ni kwa muda” which I’d like to believe means, suffering is temporary.

But how about some Steers chicken, I had missed that Illegal meal. Thanks to the boyfriend for all this fattening foods, plus pizza and lots of milkshake.

LOOKING FORWARD TO

Going for shopping, official clothes things. I don’t have much of a choice here and for that reason, I need to look forward to it and will enjoy the process while at it.

HOPING FOR

A good and smooth transition into the new job. I’m getting the jitters thinking that soon I’ll be in a different environment to the one I’m used to. But it’s always for the best, so let’s wait for it.

SAVING FOR

A couple of things. Now add to that list, a phone and wallet. That’s what life can do to you, today you have, tomorrow you’re saving up to buy it. Damn!

THINKING

We should rejoice for our small victories like we do our big achievements, because those small victories at the end of the day, month or year lead to our big achievements. Reminds me of my undergraduate, every semester would come, sit through it, do exams, some so difficult that you wonder whether you’ll pass. Then you go on holiday and your results come, you’ve passed. But you know, no big deal. You feel like the miss smarty pants and that goes by. After all you passed. The cycle continues until you are graduating with an honors. Not knowing, it’s the small milestones that have gotten you that big achievement.

So is with everything else in life. The small victories are just important as the big ones, because those small ones are the feeders, without which the big victory would be nothing but a dream.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Friday - Victories

Besides that, to more laughing, living and loving. Let your weekend be nothing short of interesting, blessings!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Upcoming Event: ZIADA Nairobi

I don’t mean to brag, but the one of the female vocalists (Rosie) for Adawnage Band happens to be my desk-mate at work. Yes, I know, I know direct access, you can pass all the messages, like how you’re a big fan and I’ll make sure they reach. Yes, I get the chance to ask her to do for me the start part for Uwezo…uwezo, yes, she can randomly pull those notes comfortably without the, “listen to the words and not the voice” excuses. Now if only that ability to sing could just rub off on me. You know what I mean, I would definitely do a vlog. But it’s not yet happened so I remain a cheerleader.

ZIADA

 A Swahili word meaning to ‘increase or have in abundance’, is a series of revolutionary musical events organized by award-winning Christian musicians, Adawnage and Zidi The Band. While Adawnage and Zidi the Band exist separately as fully-ledged units with outstanding female & male vocalists, instrumentalists and support teams, their paths often intertwine. With similar objectives and vision, they have come together to form ZIADA (a compressed version of the bands’ names) to achieve much more impact together.

ZIADA is committed to changing lives and perceptions. Literally. They’ve lined up brilliant works of photography on the beauty of our country captured by talented, professional and widely celebrated photographers. The photo exhibition will precede the musical event. This event is dubbed to create  a relevant and socially conscious music experience that connects impresses upon the 25-year-old adult to play their part in promoting peace in their circles.

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ZIADA NAIROBI: PEACE EDITION

Nairobi town will get to experience the joyful sounds of hope on December 12, 2012 at the Parklands Baptist Church from 3PM from ZIADA. The event will take on a PEACE theme with the hope of uniting the public ahead of the polls next year. Featuring strong leads and additional home-grown artistes such as the amazing Mercy Wairegi, Nasara the poet, Carlisto and Makena. The worship experience is set to be one whose impact will linger on long after the date.

Date: 12th December 2012

Time: 3:00 pm

Venue: Parklands Baptist Church

By: ZIADA and Number 8

Featuring Artistes: Mercy Wairegi, Nasara the poet, Carlisto and Makena

Entrance: FREE

Adawnage

Adawnage Band is Kenya’s 2011 Group of the Year in the just concluded Groove Awards, for its popular releases, Uwezo and Safari.

Adawnage Band is a vibrant unit of energetic individuals from different established professional backgrounds who have come together with the sole purpose of reaching out to the world with positive, electric, realistic and inspirational music. The Contemporary Gospel Band which traces their beginnings to May of 2008 has as its mission statement ‘Transforming lives through God-inspired music and lifestyle’. The band released its debut album, Safari (The Journey) in December 2010 which comprises of 10 songs and it is a depiction of the journey that the band has taken since they started and the challenges and inspirations they have encountered through their walk.

Zidi, Ziada, adawnage

Breathe, the Zidi the Band’s flagship song won the team the title Group of the Year, in the 2010 Groove Awards.

Zidi the Band is a Christian music ministry, with a mission to ‘Transform and root our generation in God’. The name Zidi, is a Swahili word for exceed and is taken from Psalm 23:5 . In its seven years of existence, Zidi The Band has continued to churn out fresh afro-fusion music targeting young professionals. So far, music from its debut album, Motisha (Motivation) has received generous airplay in local and international stations sold out several times since hitting the stores in 2010.

Off the stage, members of Zidi The Band are pleased to be professional influencers of society in different capacities and collectively as sponsors of the Destiny Children Centre, Mombasa. In addition, partnering in local peace initiatives and music training programs present band members the opportunity to imapact community.

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Are you rooting for peace in our country but you lack a channel through which to promote it? This will be a good one, through photography, music, poetry, spoken word, writing among others. Spread the word and mark your calendars!

Well oh well…

I vouch for peace, always will.

I love the Kenya where I walk or drive freely without fear.

Where I sleep knowing that my family and friends are safe,

Day or night.

Where there is no discrimination,

Tribal or gender related.

To see and embrace the beauty that it holds.

I believe you also do.

Peace is possible.

Not bad huh! Maybe I could try a little poetry *joke*, just felt a little convicted. However, I also think “when the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace”. With that in mind, have a beautiful week ahead and be blessed.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Seekers…Keepers

It’s one thing to know what you want or need,  it’s another to get it and another one to create room for those things once you get them because you eventually do. Problem is that if it’s not self-driven and by that I mean envision it, yearn for it or there’s nothing you’ve had to give up for it, you’ll feel short-changed. The satisfaction derived from that whole process should make you feel like you’re on some spaceship headed to the blue moon okay I just exaggerated but you feel me.

Well that’s just once in a blue moon, most of the times we get things that we thought we didn’t want or need or we actually wanted just had thought of them in a more *castle in the air* kind of way and they drive you off your tangent. That right there is what we call experience, because it’s usually an instance that comes and goes but leaves you some few lessons to learn from.

You have to go through a series of instances to actually figure yourself out first. Pretty sure it’s something we have all experienced in one way or another. For some not in the easiest of ways, for others things have come pretty easy it’s like you had it all aligned it for you. All the same, I think it’s always worth the experience, makes you appreciate what you get even more.

I have been through a couple of experiences myself, in work, at school, in relationships of different kinds … it’s just amazing. I know there’s someone out there thinking, amazing? *pops eyes* are you kidding me? Yeah, I guess that’s how I take it in. Maybe that’s why I’m still sane or that’s why you would see me smiling when I should be hitting the roof as I try to contain my hulk. Trust me we all have a hulk in us, or is this the point where I use singular terms like “I”, I have some hulk a.k.a Meru in me.

Sometimes you get yourself somewhere not because it’s the wrong place at that point time, it’s just a stepping stone to the next level. The next level of taking you towards where you want to be. That situation could be grooming you for what life has in store for you. That’s why I say it’s pretty interesting. Think of it that way and you could be somewhat comfortable with your situation. You know the beauty of it is that, lets assume something goes wrong at one point, you will be sad but it won’t last forever. We are all bound to experience different emotions at different time. Both the good and the bad. Sadness, disappointments, bitterness, is just but a part of them, so is bliss, joy, gratefulness and so on. I tend to think they do take turns, because nothing is perfect, no one is from the human perspective. So at one point you’re on a high, the next you’re at a low (you’ve got to know how to chase this one away once it checks in … low is not a sport, never quite looks good on you).

 

Point is, knowing what you want, better yet identifying what you need. An important aspect of this is that it lets you know what to keep and what to let go of (people, a character you hold, something material, it could be anything). What you keep can sometimes be what deters you from getting…no? Then again, you could get what you want but it’s not necessarily what you need or you could get what you need but not what you want…lol talk of life getting it all twisted, that’s its nature though. So lucky are you when you get what you want and need. It’s a plus knowing it, because it gets you to treasure what you’ve got more, work hard for it because you know its importance and make sure that it’s for keeps. Everything does count, it contributes to who you are, what you’re yet to be and last but not least what and who is linked to you.

In other non-related news,  the music I’ve been listening to these days. Who knew there was country gospel … pop’ish kinda music? She’s good, Jamie Grace (one song at a time album) on replay, so soulful!

Just saw this on my friends update and thought to share :-) since sharing is caring and seeing as I haven’t fed your minds in a while, these ones looks like some great lessons to adopt:

  1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
  2. Marry a man or woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
  3. When you say “I Love you” mean it.
  4. When you wrong someone, look at them in the eye and say “I’m sorry”.
  5. Love deeply and passionately. You may get hurt,but its the only way to live life completely.
  6. Talk slowly but think quickly.
  7. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
  8. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
  9. Remember the 3 Rs: Respect for self, Respect Others, Responsibility for all your actions.
  10. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
  11. Spend some time alone.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Random Snippets

Courtesy of Native Pics

Photo Credits

Yes, I have always wanted to have a picture like this one! Speaks loads about me and I got one @KevDaNative to capture it. If that’s the much fun people have on this random shoots I wouldn’t mind doing one every fortnight *hint hint*.  So @Swambi and I had 3 photographers at our disposal. You know it’s only once in a life time you can get so much undivided attention from three handsome men at the same time. We were so over the skies there were no roofs. Here’s just but a few of the ones we took on Kev’s blog. More to come up, his words, “There will be two more posts from this shoot”, now I’m over the roof.

Daughtry’s album is out *Break The Spell* and I have already over-played it. I’m in love with all the songs in the album. That’s happened to all the others that I have of them. I think they are the only band who I have managed to listen to all the songs in the album and bump my head to them there’s no bad one. Okay maybe I’m biased … but you’ve got to love their music. They always speak to me. I know, the excitement! Thanks to the ones who gave me heads up on this, it’s usually the role of my baby sister … so now you deserve a hi ever day @Theycallmebiggy and @wiselar. Plus you get a mention on my blog, that’s a big thing you know.

Want to listen to the music here’s the link : Click me NOW . Thank me later … Sharing is caring!

My favorite is “Start of Something Good” —> Do I love it or do I love it … definitely love it!

Last but not least, sad news. I lost my dear uncle who’s basically like my second Dad. If there’s one thing you don’t know about me is that I have got nothing but love for my family. So seeing my aunt and cousins sad and imagining that my uncle is no more is just depressing. But hey, it’s God who gives and he’s still the one who takes. So he has his reason as to why he chose to bring him to our lives in the first place and take him from us right now. The best I can do is just be there for my family and always love them unconditionally.

A bit about my uncle, I lived with them a bit for some years when I was younger I think between 3 – 5 years. He spoilt us rotten and treated me like his own. He’s the one who introduced me to all the foreign foods (pizza and what not), how to eat with a fork and knife, going to the sports club and all the fun stuff. They used to tag me along even when I went back home. I was an only kid till I was 8yrs, so my cousins played the brother and sister role very well, they still do … sleep overs and the likes … cartoons, games when were young. Growing up kind of got into the way, school, work, distances … maen! and time is so scarce. The one thing I loved about him is that he always used to hug all of us and give us a kiss on the cheek every single day I lived with them and visited them, he made you feel loved.

It’s not dawned on me that he’s gone, but I hope it comes on lightly. I would love to just understand and accept without feeling so sad or thinking deeply into it. Pray for comfort and strength for our family.

Otherwise … lol, that’s so Kenyan! Can’t go off without the quote of the day.

God bless ya’ll. To living, loving and laughing. Have a Wonderful Wednesday … even the weather is smiling at you, so be sure to smile back yah!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Music Does Speak

Why is it that when you are going through something, a song has to play that fully well describes your situation or someone tells you something that relates to what you’re going through. It’s like the universe is indirectly communicating to you. Or how else would you describe it?

I noticed that my favorite song of the day, will always relate to what I’m feeling that day. If I’m sad, a sad song will catch my attention and I’ll love it … and I can replay it like all day (and no, I’m not joking…lol). If I’m in a happy mood some fast beat rhythm that gets your energy up is what would catch my attention.

I think music is another version of hypnosis. Just that in this case instead of someone dangling some pendulum before your eyes it’s the rhythm, the voice, the message and the beats that get the better part of you. And that’s why for some of us music is a kind of a therapy. Maybe that’s why today I can love a song to bits and the following day, I feel zilch for it. Or I used to hate a song, and all over sudden it’s my favorite … that happens to me a lot.

Funny enough the day you are experiencing something weird (good, confusing, bad, somewhere in-between), a song that describes the situation probably with coupled a solution or some niceties somewhere in the mix is what plays and catches your attention.

That’s just weird. I was actually thinking about it and as I was listening to “Coming Home”  by Diddy – Dirty Money (Ft. Skylar Grey) in the morning as I was prepping myself for the day somewhere he pulls up this lines;

Ps: Now I’m in love with this song.

“I hate that song, I feel like they talking to me when it comes.”

“I love that song, whenever it comes on it makes me feel strong.”

That’s what got me thinking, I love songs or hate them based on what they tell me … for me some songs seem to me like the universe is communicating and telling me, you ain’t alone going through that *whatever it is* it could be about, love, hustle, family, friends, you just name it. I even find myself scrolling through the play list looking for that song that’ll speak to me on a particular day, and for sure my searches never fail me. Songs are sometimes are source of strength… again maybe that’s just me.

I know I’m weird…huh! My quote of the day:

Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from heaven to the soul.

Have a SUPER lovely week. God bless y’all!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*