Tag Archive | New Beginning

Letting Go Of 2013, To Let In 2014

I’m the kind that forgets easily. It’s good to know thyself. I forget my milestones, the thing that made me extremely happy for a moment, then I moved on with life. Its joys and struggles all together. I guess having been given 2013 to live life, maybe I didn’t do it to fullest because many times I’ve held it down because of well, maybe I thought I should’ve planned it, budgeted it, I had work the following day or now that the cops introduced AlcoBlow (a device that checks your alcohol level and if you’re caught, be ready to part with 100k, such a party popper but almost good because no drunk driving).

Generally, 2013 has been good to me, no complaints whatsoever. Anything that went wrong was a lesson learnt or just to show me that “hey Kawi, this is the world we’re in, it’s got its obstacles so don’t get too comfortable”. There were thorns, but at least they didn’t poke me too hard. Just a few scratches on the surface that taught me how to handle the rose better and in a more gentle way. At least the scars faded.

2013 was my rose

Thank God It’s Friday

A walk through 2013:

  • What a better birthday-mate to have than the boyfriend? Makes everything so much easier, yet so harder because you have to make plans while he’s making plans, buy a gift while he’s buying a gift. The 1st was great, at least we discussed what we wanted to do. Can’t wait for the next one, because no telling. The first we were still getting to know each other.
  • Graduated from Graduate School – Completing that thesis made me feel a lil’ bad ass. It was so frigging involving. I got so stressed sometimes to the point of tears, lecturers can really frustrate a students. Something straight-forward can be so twisted.
  • Had mum finally travel to the States to visit my cousins. She had spoken about it for far too long and it was about time it happened. Really glad it did and she got to see her nieces and nephews. Boy, do we miss them.
  • Saw my dad start and complete building his (our) house upcountry. It’s so beautiful. It was his untold dream, he didn’t tell, but we knew that’s what he really wanted. Now we have a place to go  when we want to go out-of-town and have some R & R. His success, our success and vice versa.
  • Got a new job at the bank, totally unexpected. A great opportunity, with some really cool and amazing colleagues, thank God. That new girl feeling was so short-lived, now it’s like I’m at home. Also made some good friends from my previous work place. It always feels like you’re leaving one relationship and jumping into the next one when you move jobs. It’s an “ouch” feeling, but one’s got to grow. At least for the friends you made, they’ll always be there.
  • Took the boyfriend home to officially meet the folks. Of course he’s met them a couple of times before but there’s something about them knowing what you two are really up to. I found that really admirable and respectful.
  • Spent the 1st Christmas without my family. Felt a little (that’s being modest, a lot) out of touch, damn! But works got be done. The boyfriends family made some really good family time too.
  • I have some really awesome friends. You know those who make you so random. They make you laugh when you feel like cringing, that make you go dancing when you thought you’d be at home asleep. They are for keeps!
  • I had an incident, where I had my essentials stolen (wallet and phone). A bullet through the heart, those are the two material things you feel like you can’t live without. Those thugs got me a good one, but none of that carelessness again.
  • I cut my hair short and I don’t look hideous – thank God. It’s something completely different, no one would do something that extreme. It showed me that I don’t have to be attached to things such as hair, it grows back anyway.

In 2014, I want just basically want to be a better person, better than I have ever been. I want to let go of the rose, because I want a flower garden. I think I’m now ready to handle couple of roses and other flowers. I want to be able to achieve most of the things I have been saying I want to do and have in 2013. Better yet, I spoke a lot in 2013, in 2014, I want to make it happen. What do you want for yours?

In case I am not able to do another post before next year, because I’ll be having so much fun jumping years, may you have a blessed and prosperous 2014. Lets make it happen together #CozWeCan’tStop (Miley Cyrus clearly featured heavily in 2013).

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

A Little of Everything…

The other day, we went to pick my mum up from the airport. The anxiety, the joy within, was just in excess. I couldn’t wait to see her stroll out of the arrivals entrance. The boyfriend must’ve been tired of hearing, “I can’t wait to see mum”. I mean, we woke up at 1 in the AM to go see her arrive. My dad was in awe I think, he’d even called beforehand to confirm that I’ll be there or it was just excitement (read ‘cheap talk’). He would have bet there’s now way I’m waking up to go hang out in the cold. You’d think she was away for years, but she’d been away for just one month. Just one month and we were all thinking or rather feeling that she’d been away for too long. Wouldn’t want to imagine if she’d gone for any longer. My baby sister, who likes her space was feeling mum-sick, she would call me and tell me how she misses her. My dad who’s purported to be the “hardcore” was calling her up everyday and when he doesn’t, he texts to check up. I didn’t over do it, like the other two, but if I wasn’t talking about her, I was sending her some inbox messages, telling her how much I miss her. We wanted her to enjoy the trip and for my cousins, aunty and uncle to have a piece of her as well.

The whole experience was ridiculously amazing and an eye opener too. We all discovered how mum is important in our lives. And for each of us, it was different because we had our own reasons. But at the end of the day, it’s her presence that matters(ed) the most to all of us.

You know that saying, “you don’t know what you’ve got until you lose it”? Well, you don’t have to wait till you lose it. You can know the value of what you’ve got while you still have it. Strive to retain that knowledge of how much value that thing brings you and appreciate whatever it is while it’s still here.

ION, remember me hoping that I bag it, I did bag it *whoop whoop*! It’s a great opportunity in an entirely different sector. It’s more than exciting, but let’s keep it together. Who would’ve ever thought I would work in a bank? I swear, that thought had never ever crossed my mind, I mean, they wear suits everyday. To the extent that when the opportunity presented itself at first, I was sceptical about going for it, plus the thought that I had no banking experience whatsoever. Then the opportunity presented itself a 2nd time, people had faith me (more than I did in myself), and it made me think, if they do, why not? I gave it a thought, read it through it and saw that what they were describing was what I do and what I’d love to do. God sure has  a way of surprising us, when you least expect it. I think it’s his way of showing us, he runs this world. He can put you in a place you least expect, he can make you cross paths with people you never thought you would.

The hardest part in this new experience and change, is that I’ll have to completely change my wardrobe. I only wear suits for interviews (which come once in a blue moon), but now they’ll become a daily wear *cringe*. Monday through Friday, someone shoot me now. It’s exciting and scary at the same time. I’ll have to go shop, which is not one of my favorite pass time activities. Can you imagine, I really don’t like shopping . There, I said it! I only love shopping when it’s impulse or when I’m sad because then I’ll buy the most fancy but irrelevant things. But when I have to do it, with a purpose, it’s devastating. I don’t get what I want or I have search endlessly to get it. I need your prayers or better yet, your help in shopping or new hand me downs (size 8 going 10, the food is settling in)  LOL *wink*. For real, any takers?

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Steve Maraboli, Encouragement, Monday

One of those to take or talk you through the week as we go through our different situations, good or bad. May you have an easy breezy one. Happy Birthday to all November baby’s!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

The Big Chop

I chopped my hair. All of it. Ok, not the baldy-like chop, but more than 3/4 of it went down. I had been thinking about it for the longest time. This is me when I want something, I talk about it, like really talk about it. I talk about it to anyone who’s willing to hear. I create scenarios, see the pros and cons, get opinions (not that I take all of them in, but I listen) and all that comes with talking about it. It kind of helps me in making my decisions (good or bad, but I believe most are good). You know someone might know something I don’t, and I’m there plunging in to the same hole that they’re stuck in. Well, shows I’m not quite the risk taker, I try to mitigate them as much as I can, then take it up – different strokes for different folks. While at it,  I also talk about it to those who are close to me, to sell the idea even if it comes out vaguely. Then once I feel like it’s sold even without their knowledge, boom! Decision made – I do it. It’s good to know thy self.

black hair, chopped hair

Chop…chop…chop…because what’s a selfie-collage without a duck face.

Anyhow, with a different look, comes different questions. The first thing my hair-dresser asked me when I told him I’m booking an appointment for us to deal with my hair is, “have you been dumped” and “are you going through something bad”. Not knowing, that’s what everyone else will ask or imagine. I feel like I have to defend my hair chop. While the only reason I did it is *drum rolls* so that I can stand under the shower and have water run through my hair – true story. Plus I mean, I get to reduce on the ridiculous amounts of money and time I spent in the salon. It’s such a relief, you’re allowed to envy me.

Of course this whole process got me thinking about what the big deal in hair is. Now I can say, if only you asked me my opinion of hair a few months days actually back. It’s just hair. You cut it, then it grows, thank God. That’s a great gift by the way. The value or fear we put in our hair lengths is amusing. I was cringing at the thought of how I’d look in chopped hair. I was even saying if it backfires, my plaiting lady should be on stand-by then she could braid me long enough to conceal this look. I searched for my head shape and how people look when they have short hair I love my forehead. LOL. They all looked lovely, I think the thought of wanting my hair chopped had blinded me by then. Even on the streets, I was already seeing so many women with short hair do looking lovely, my mum topping it up.

Well, I feel good, really good. At least it felt good standing under the shower head and my hair touching water without me wincing. For those who know me, this is BIG, such a BIG and strange change. No one would have ever imagined me in short dyed hair, me too. It’s good to surprise yourself and others (waiting to see my folks reactions, my sisters was priceless, my boyfriend, he had to come to terms with in a very smart and loving way) once in a while. Now that the thought (which was becoming more of a burden and I was tired of carrying it around) has been executed and it doesn’t look bad, at least in my books. I can continue thinking and talking of other strange and unbelievable things I want to do, then they happen.

black hair, chopped hair

Rocking it short and natural!

PS: A tick off my unwritten bucket list.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

The Fake Hiatus

Because technically it looks like I was in one but I really wasn’t. I was just a little lazy coupled with a series of blank moments. Oh boy, then I remember there’s blogging in my life, which happens almost all the time, but then I open a blank page and run out things to write or worse think I have lots to share only to start out and go, “nah, maybe I shouldn’t.” The title should have been a day in a bloggers life. We have so much to say, but then we have moments where you question yourself and what you are about to say. You start feeling like every-time you share something you’re exposing yourself.

Does it ever get to a time you just don’t feel like saying anything, you just want to go sit at the corner and see what’s going on around you and probably see if anyone will take notice? I remember it used to happen to me every once in a while when I was growing up maybe it still does just that I haven’t reviewed myself of late. I was the talkative one, but then it would reach a point I would want to take some time out, and consciously or subconsciously I would just retreat. It’s like I’m there but not really there, you know just be invisible for a moment. Maybe to see if there’s someone who cares enough to check up on me or give me stories as well. Such a tease, then of course chances are that no one really did and I get over my “fake hiatus” or “invisible” moment and  go back to my normal chatty self.

In this case, well, I was going through a phase and now I am back with a BANG! July was one hell-of-a cold month and it looks like it’s rubbing off on August already. August needs to shake that off, because my wardrobe and body can’t take it any more, I want the sun. Not the scorching kind though, just enough to keep me warm during the day and allow me not to over-layer clothes. Which is interesting because we human beings have our needs changing more often than baby diapers. One time we want the sun, then when it’s smack right in the middle of your forehead hot enough to fry an egg sunny side up, you want it to rain and when it rains cats and dogs with puddles all over, we want the cold, just the cold and now it’s cold, good grief, I want the sun.

It’s just like life. When you’re presented with one situation, you forget how the other one you were in used to be. And when the one you’re in doesn’t appeal to you as you anticipate(ed) it to, you want to get back to where you were before because you think it was better than what you’re experiencing now. In essence, you were probably looking forward to the situation you’re in just as eagerly. Life is  such a twist. With that, I think the reason God made seasons, is so that we learn to live with each of them.

Learn to persevere through the scorching sun and thunderstorms as well as be content when the suns comes out during the thunderstorm and the rain pops when the sun is scorching.

Other than the cold, I actually managed to try out a few things that I haven’t either done in a long time or just never done before this July, so it wasn’t boring either. At the end of the month when I look back, there’s a lot to smile about more than there is to frown about. Actually, I wouldn’t say there’s anything there is to frown about. God has been good to me, to us, I am more than grateful. Here goes;

Danielle Steel, Books, Good Reads

Gifted book mark by the parents I think during my very 1st graduation…I’ve graduated that many times. Love the message #TreasuredGifts

 A friend recommended the #3books30days challenge and I decided to take it on, easy *read difficult, very* as it sounds. I have done 2 books so far; Brida – Paulo Coelho and Danielle Steel – Big Girl, one more to go,  Lauren Weisberger – Devil Wears Prada ( really  looking forward to reading this one). I had kind of shelved my book (novel) reading because of school and the exhaustion it comes with but it’s like I am now getting my reading mojo back, slow but coming on.

Friends, Friendships, Hosting

The scarf is courtesy of FloEssentials (Facebook). Scarves are her thing, she ties them so effortlessly it’s amazing, while I struggled my way around with it.

Of friends discovered through other friends and turning out to be ah-mah-zing. You know those lose introductions that happen because the person I hang out with also used to hang out with her. Then a few years after, we somehow keep in touch and we decide you know what, maybe we should just link up and catch up. The world just leads you to the people who are meant to be close to you “the touch effect” and we decide to hang out and ta-daaaaa *if you’ve watched Crood you should relate* we’re just insync. They (my friend and the hubby) finally got us to do our first hosting, we feared at first (you think of all the things you don’t have, like serving dishes et al, you know the bachelor-bachelorette lifestyle) and they were the most comfortable and entertaining guests we’ve ever had *actually, the first*, now they don’t feel like guests any more. We ate, drunk, played scrabbled, poker and chatted the night away. They are officially our favorite couple friends, you know you’ve gotta have those. Grateful they found their way into our lives, or vise versa.

Nail Polish, Sunset

You see both rarely, that’s the relation. LOL. There could be no better way to describe me getting my nail polish groove on, but I did. I find it such work, you know the application process, the fanning of your hands for it to dry, the holding things delicately to avoid the much dreaded smudge. Oh but it definitely looks good on me as I type on my key board. I could literally type gibberish just to have a glance at my peach painted nails. I think that’s my motivation for now, let’s hope it lasts long enough to have me purchase a different color.

As for the sunset, I went to visit my folks on the weekend and on my walk I was engulfed by the beautiful view of the sunset. It even looked more beautiful when seeing it through that singled out tree. Picture perfect. If I had a Canon or Nikon camera, trust me this pic would have made it to Mutua Matheka’s wall paper Monday, but I didn’t.

So much more happened of course, but these were the ones I was able to capture, or do you want a novel? Nah. How was your July? Hoping it was great and you would have a thing or more to say about it. The best thing about today (very convenient that it’s 1st August), is that you know something you didn’t know yesterday. Better yet, is you are or will be able to do something you didn’t do yesterday or ever before. That’s the beauty of life, everyday gives you a chance to play it out a little or to a great extent differently from how you did it before. It’s very forgiving in that sense, it holds no grudges, only you do. Have yourself a blessed August.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

It Gets Better…

Whoop whoop! I moved, I unpacked, I settled and I love it!

moving

LOL. I couldn’t do it silently. That’s for Ninja’s!

So much for having those major cringes and unfounded fears that come with change. You know that uneasy feeling in your tum tum that makes you wonder, what will happen, how will I do it, will I manage, what if I don’t like it???? Well, I rebuked all those feelings. I have done this two times now, moving houses. I gave my notice and my former landlord was more than encouraging (God bless them), I think I was looking for signs from everywhere. Like before I told them I want to move out, I did quite some pacing at their door step before knocking the door. I was telling myself if they react negatively, that’s a sign. Then of course they didn’t. Ha ha ha on my face.

The one thing they (my landlord and his wife) told me that got me feeling all melty on the insides was, “your landlord on the other side will definitely have a good tenant. We’ve enjoyed having you here.” Someone say humbling. I’m not the best there is, but I try to live well with those around me and also leave them well when the time comes. I believe in not burning bridges. There’s a reason why you meet people and interact with them in various ways. One day you will need them, not now, not tomorrow but someday, when you least expect it. I have seen my parents meet friends whom they were with in their youth. That’s like 20+ years ago. They meet in the streets, in offices, in the kids schools, in weddings or in family meetings. This world is big in size but small in its connections. That 6 degrees of separation vibe gets more real.

So it finally happened. Though while at it, I was also looking for assurance from people. Why we do this when we want to make a decisions always beats me. If only we could make a decision, believe in it and abide by it.  So I kept telling people I’m moving, then when they ask me where, to what and why? I’m like here and to this. Funny because I had thought of all these things ( distance, security, convenience to amenities, traffic, water e.t.c. ) as I was looking for a place. The reason I chose that place is because I could almost justify the place will meet my current needs and at the same time cover the things mentioned. But people have opinions, we all do. So they’ll give you opinions but in the end you have to make your own choice. Because as people give you opinions, no one is walking in your shoes.

You are the one who knows the comfort or discomfort of your shoes. Whether it’s too tight, or too loose, too high or too flat. Or just the right fit for you. Then you decide whether to continue suffering in its discomfort, get another, fix it. Choice is always yours.

The best thing about this moving experience was the support I got. I have never gotten this much support before. The first time I moved, it was just me and my dad. The second time, I was more or less alone, until I bumped into a friend who offered a hand shortly (God always has your back). The third time was the best of all times. I was with the boyfriend (aka knight in shining armor), a girlfriend E (the girl every girl needs to have), baby sister C (the little distraction we all need) and mummy dearest (super momma). They made it not feel so new and foreign. There was lots of food (thanks to the mother, bless her) and laughter (the 3 other culprits who crack each other up) as we unpacked and cleaned up. Oh yeah, got hand me down curtains to keep me going till I get mine. I have windows, many windows *excitement*. I love this new experience, different from the previous one, which was different from the 1st one. Let me revel in it and make it homely!

Housewarming? It’s already warm thanks to the 3 lovely helpers. But for once I can have a couple of visitors at the same time. LOL. I just need more plates, cutlery, sitting space and so on. I had 4 actually 3 of each before. That needs to change soon. I can hold a parrrrty! But we don’t stop here, cheers to bigger and better when the time’s right!

New Experience

How about you have yourself a whimsy Wednesday and remember that positive thoughts breed positive results, that’s the secret. If you don’t know how to be positive (it can be quite the uphill task especially when things don’t seem to be looking up or going your way). You can try this out ↓ it milks the positive out of you!

New Advice

Signing Off ~~~*Kawi*