Tag Archive | Relationships

And You let Her Go

You know that grown up feeling that overcomes you for a moment. It’s like an epiphany of sorts and you see something in different light. Something that one point you actually believed that that’s how it should be done. However, given the chance to re-think again today, you’d be like “No, how now?”. Some thoughts or opinions you had before, if revisited can give you a mini heart-attack. I don’t think it’s growing up that caused the change of heart as I’d said at the beginning, but exposure and experience. And that could be why those two are important even as you seek for jobs. Experience and exposure help influence your opinion on certain things, and that’s why…

…opinions are only valid for the duration they’re shared. They could change as soon as you put the full stop.

Anyhow, this epiphany happened as I listened to a current song that I rather like; Passenger – Let her go. Sometimes I listen to songs because of the beats, but when I see myself slowly getting the lyrics in (because I can listen to a song a million times but the lyrics don’t get in, it’s a rare disease called #ijustcantcramlyrics lol), I start to think about what it the artist is trying to bring out. Yeah, I can sing along but maybe I’m chanting illuminati, just kidding, but you know what I mean.

So as I listened on and sang along, I thought “wait a minute, what’s this guys saying?”. Makes sense from the quote “when you love something, let it go, if it was meant to be, it’ll come back, if it doesn’t, it never loved you…” Now, that doesn’t make sense to me anymore, so let me tell you a little something about love, my kind of love. Not necessarily the lover kind of love, just general love. For your family, friends and things.

Clara

You know it when you get it, and you don’t have to let go to know that you have it. Love doesn’t need proof by leaving and seeing whether they’ll (or it’ll) come back. Love just needs a few actions that express what you feel and what the other persons feels for you. Love doesn’t have seasons. Love is not like weather, it’s a constant through out the seasons. Love makes those seasons bearable. What happens within the seasons are feelings. Feelings, which are always bound to change depending on the situation you’re met with. If it’s rainy and it’s muddy and wet, you’ll hate it and wish for the sun, then when the sun is too scotchy, you’ll wish for the cold.

Love like other things in life, have rules, mostly unwritten. A few written. If you read the bible, it makes it easier for you to break the code. That’s why you’d find friends becoming (fri)enemies because of overstepping a love rule. If you disrespect me, then how do we get along? If you don’t forgive me for my shortcomings, then how do you expect this relationship to work out? If you keep my record of wrongs and keep reiterating them, that’s really annoying, just let go and move on, if you’re jealous of my achievement then how do we help each other? If you’re impatient with me, then how do we grow and be there for each other through the highs and lows?

That’s love. Don’t let her go when you love her, keep her instead. Love is about forgiveness, working it out, growing, letting go of baggage and moving on and while at it, the one thing that should stay, is that thing or that person(s) you love. Stupid, would be listening to the quotes and lyrics and letting go to see if the said person or thing will come back, even butterflies don’t. They fly away and find other places where they’ll fit in.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Letting Go Of 2013, To Let In 2014

I’m the kind that forgets easily. It’s good to know thyself. I forget my milestones, the thing that made me extremely happy for a moment, then I moved on with life. Its joys and struggles all together. I guess having been given 2013 to live life, maybe I didn’t do it to fullest because many times I’ve held it down because of well, maybe I thought I should’ve planned it, budgeted it, I had work the following day or now that the cops introduced AlcoBlow (a device that checks your alcohol level and if you’re caught, be ready to part with 100k, such a party popper but almost good because no drunk driving).

Generally, 2013 has been good to me, no complaints whatsoever. Anything that went wrong was a lesson learnt or just to show me that “hey Kawi, this is the world we’re in, it’s got its obstacles so don’t get too comfortable”. There were thorns, but at least they didn’t poke me too hard. Just a few scratches on the surface that taught me how to handle the rose better and in a more gentle way. At least the scars faded.

2013 was my rose

Thank God It’s Friday

A walk through 2013:

  • What a better birthday-mate to have than the boyfriend? Makes everything so much easier, yet so harder because you have to make plans while he’s making plans, buy a gift while he’s buying a gift. The 1st was great, at least we discussed what we wanted to do. Can’t wait for the next one, because no telling. The first we were still getting to know each other.
  • Graduated from Graduate School – Completing that thesis made me feel a lil’ bad ass. It was so frigging involving. I got so stressed sometimes to the point of tears, lecturers can really frustrate a students. Something straight-forward can be so twisted.
  • Had mum finally travel to the States to visit my cousins. She had spoken about it for far too long and it was about time it happened. Really glad it did and she got to see her nieces and nephews. Boy, do we miss them.
  • Saw my dad start and complete building his (our) house upcountry. It’s so beautiful. It was his untold dream, he didn’t tell, but we knew that’s what he really wanted. Now we have a place to go  when we want to go out-of-town and have some R & R. His success, our success and vice versa.
  • Got a new job at the bank, totally unexpected. A great opportunity, with some really cool and amazing colleagues, thank God. That new girl feeling was so short-lived, now it’s like I’m at home. Also made some good friends from my previous work place. It always feels like you’re leaving one relationship and jumping into the next one when you move jobs. It’s an “ouch” feeling, but one’s got to grow. At least for the friends you made, they’ll always be there.
  • Took the boyfriend home to officially meet the folks. Of course he’s met them a couple of times before but there’s something about them knowing what you two are really up to. I found that really admirable and respectful.
  • Spent the 1st Christmas without my family. Felt a little (that’s being modest, a lot) out of touch, damn! But works got be done. The boyfriends family made some really good family time too.
  • I have some really awesome friends. You know those who make you so random. They make you laugh when you feel like cringing, that make you go dancing when you thought you’d be at home asleep. They are for keeps!
  • I had an incident, where I had my essentials stolen (wallet and phone). A bullet through the heart, those are the two material things you feel like you can’t live without. Those thugs got me a good one, but none of that carelessness again.
  • I cut my hair short and I don’t look hideous – thank God. It’s something completely different, no one would do something that extreme. It showed me that I don’t have to be attached to things such as hair, it grows back anyway.

In 2014, I want just basically want to be a better person, better than I have ever been. I want to let go of the rose, because I want a flower garden. I think I’m now ready to handle couple of roses and other flowers. I want to be able to achieve most of the things I have been saying I want to do and have in 2013. Better yet, I spoke a lot in 2013, in 2014, I want to make it happen. What do you want for yours?

In case I am not able to do another post before next year, because I’ll be having so much fun jumping years, may you have a blessed and prosperous 2014. Lets make it happen together #CozWeCan’tStop (Miley Cyrus clearly featured heavily in 2013).

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Like a Big Book

Like a big book being read by different people, and as the chapters keep being flipped, that’s its life. Once it’s been placed on the shelf, the person interested in it, will eventually pull it out, it could take a day or years. It could be because they’ve heard it’s a nice book or because for some (un)apparent reason appeals to them. What someone does with it is up to them. The best thing about a book is that its content, once written, it doesn’t change. The story builds on, but what’s written stays. It’s our mind that chooses how to interpret the story.

Thank God It's Friday

Thank God It’s Friday

 

However, before people decide to take ownership of the book, they check it out, read the synopsis and decide whether it’s worth it. It’s like a first date, from the conversations, the looks, the connection, you evaluate and make a choice – to keep or to shelf. Should one decide to keep, some read and understand the core essence of the book and treasure it like it’s supposed to be, others try to read into it – they might not get it, but they at least they try to. For others, they read to the end but it just feels like a waste of time (boring story line perhaps or it didn’t turn out how you had anticipated), others peruse through the pages just to get to the end – sort of – I have the book, so I might as well read it whether I like or not, others don’t even get past the synopsis. They like the book but the time isn’t right for them to read it (or they’re just not feeling it at that time – ever happened to you?). You’ve been dying to read a book but when you get to the book store and read the synopsis you just don’t feel it.

When you pick the book and decide to keep it, people treat the book in different ways; others fold the ends *create doggy ears*, others tear off the pages, others write on them maybe to mark something that was of interest to them, others pen down their name because they now own the book (and they sure don’t share), you want a book, buy yours! (I have a friend or two who love their books to death and they’d rather buy you a book than give you theirs).

Life is just like a book. Just like a book, there are those people who will treasure you, there are those who will be there but not really there, there are those who will trash you, there are others who will want you all to themselves. It’s an interesting turn out. As a book on the shelf, you don’t know who will pick you or what journey you’ll take once you’re out of the shelf. But as a book, you can tell who’s treating you like you deserve to be treated, who’s mis-treating you, only you the book can tell. Unlike the book, you have a life and you can make a choice how someone interprets your story.

You can tell it, like you want it to be. Books can’t speak, you can. Books can’t express, you can. Books can’t feel, you can. Books can’t move, you can. You definitely have the upper hand. You probably won’t write your story as it’s already written (again, the bible says) but how you strive to live it, makes all the difference.

ION, Just to let you know that I’m still here, I have not disappeared into thin air. Trying to organize myself and figuring out my time, especially how to wake up early. I wold love to do the posts early in the morning doesn’t everyone, but yikes, waking up! My mind wants but my body will just never coöperate. Even when I don’t have any sleep, which is a very rare occurrence. Looking forward to an awesome weekend, besides having work tomorrow #YOLO

To more laughing, living and loving. Let your weekend be nothing short of interesting, blessings!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

If You Want To Feel Rich

You know the interesting thing about life? I also don’t. Ha ha kidding, I do. It’s that at the end of the day it’s about your endless dreams and how you can make them happen. It’s about those people you care about and how you want to see them happy. It’s about you and how you can achieve your happiest state. You work to achieve something, something that will make you feel complete, an absolute of sorts. The other day someone asked what can’t money buy? That’s a difficult question seeing as some of us haven’t experienced extreme richness to know what exactly it can’t buy. But with the much I have, I can say those things I am pretty sure it wouldn’t buy me.

You know those things that whether you have money or not, you can still experience them. It’s not money that determines whether you can or cannot get them. Digress, I remember in the course of my first job, I was confident enough that I deserved a raise and off I walked to my ex-bosses office to request for one. With full justification as to why I deserved an increase, we chat away. He’s the kind that could talk you out of what you want and convince you otherwise. So to say the least, I was fully armed. His office, the battle field. Everyone knew that. By all means I deserved a pay rise, so I was going to fight for it. As we chat, he goes like, “Mercy, you know if I decided to start paying you a million every month today you would go crazy”. Ha ha, joke right and I say, “I would be happy with that. Maybe we can try.” Then being the smart man,  he of course tells me the story of how he started out and how he got to where he is.  You learn to manage the little that you have as it’s added in progression, not just pap! Otherwise you won’t get a hold of yourself. I see he was doing my parents a favour, parenting me at work.

Oh boy, I was just seeing my plea go down the drain, somehow disappearing in the horizon as he went on and on. The he goes, “I will add for you this *small amount* first then we see how you do, and you can come back *after this duration of time* for a review”. Not what I had initially asked for, but at least it was something to get me going then. This always gets me looking back and thinking how it is I survived with that money, somehow I did, comfortably. Now back to those things, those ones that make you feel rich even when you’re not money rich, those ones that money cannot buy;

Happy Relationships

With God, with your family, with your spouse. You can’t buy their love or affection towards you and vice versa. Their willingness to do things for you and with you when you need them to, when you don’t need them to or when you least expect them to. The respect that you hold for each other. It’s a world of competition out there, so having this people cheer lead for you and be your front runners. That at the end of the day, you have people who can be held accountable for you and you for them, this is a blessing, not a purchase.

Good Health

It’s by the Grace of God that you’re healthy. That you can do things that other people only wish they could or that you have features that others wish they had, even if just for a day. They may look simple and easy for us, but it’s a blessing that we shouldn’t take for granted. Walking, eating, talking, sleeping, pooping, thinking, hearing, seeing among other things. That you’re not sick and bed ridden. You could have the money to go to the best doctors in the world, but not necessarily get healed. So thank your almighty for good health and long life.

Time … A Really Good Time

Money can enable you to go to the most beautiful and tranquil of places and do things that you’ve only dreamt of. But chances are that you might not even have a good time while at it. It happens. You think this place could give you absolute happiness even if for a moment, then it doesn’t. It probably even stresses you when you think how much you’re spending and what you’re going back to or it could be the company, not withstanding the luxury provided. It gets you whining to no end.

It’s all about having a good time, a great experience, a genuine smile on your face and hearty laughter, the kind that stems from your tummy. Ain’t it? You can have a good time wherever you choose to go or be, not necessarily in the islands or desserts or five star hotels whose décor and furnishings are out of this world. If you can’t afford that right now, you can afford a walk in the park … it’s free. I know I’m pushing it *because I want to go to those islands, desserts and five start hotels*, but a really good time knows no place and no amounts of money. You make it, with what you have.

True friends

There’s the family that’s given to you by virtue of being born into this world, and then there are those you personally choose, your true friends. Money can’t buy you these ones and if it does, the ‘true’ in the ‘true friends’ fizzles out. The love, trust and commitment you accord this ones with and vice versa is miraculous.

The brain and mind

Oh your mind. That there is one powerful object, in case you were searching for super powers. Very powerful, I’m even thinking when people say it’s the heart ‘a bullet to the heart‘, I think they mean the mind. The heart just pumps blood and enables the brain to get blood and oxygen for you to remain sane. It’s the mind that thinks, hurts, feels, cooks things up, makes assumptions, loves and so on. The mind leads you to believing what you want to believe and helps you make your choices, good or bad, whether you have money or not. It’s the source of great ideas and innovations that eventually lead you to making that money.

Money can’t buy you brains, but it can help you make up your mind, when you have them. So the brains came before the money, unless you’re a trust fund baby, lucky bustards … lol

rich

There’s no better way to look at it. This will give you so much peace especially in your mind and help you put some things into perspective. Sometimes we get so drained trying to get rich, that we die trying. Because we see riches as just having money and lots of it, but riches do come in other forms too. What are some of those things you have that money cannot buy?

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

One…Two…Three Things

One thing that I love is being a part of something beautiful. Well, I won’t say we grew up together but we definitely met when we were growing up. You know that crucial stage when you have just checked in to your teens and  you’re discovering yourself and what kind of person you are? You can picture that, we were made room mates in high school. We would argue with her about anything and everything, even about a shoe lace. Just kidding, but she kept me on toes. I am defensive, she’s more defensive. Crazy pair, always being matched up, but somehow with all these self brought dramas we hacked through high school. We would later meet up and catch up about life things, where we are, what we want and where we want to be, great friends. Fun times, out we go, dance and karaoke, okay once when she sings everyone shuts, or keeps off the stage true story because she makes you look bad *sound extremely croaky*.

She has the voice that I could never match up to because *whispers* singing is not my thing. I can’t even remember the lyrics to songs, let alone the tunes, but at least I have good taste in music. Then she sang at her wedding and balancing tears. Pin drop silence, everyone in awe, others picking their jaws from the ground. I was pretty sure if I was the groom I would be asking for the second box of Kleenex as she sang ‘Run Away – The Corrs’. The song has never sounded better than that, the lyrics finally made so much sense. Sounds like I’m exaggerating but it was breath-taking. I regret not taking a video of it though the picture speaks a thousand words, doesn’t it?

Blaice Wedding

The cake was delish. Some fresh, spongy, fruity black forest that was placed on each table, so there was A LOT to go around. I was one of those people who hogged on so much cake, “hey, my mate is getting married” eats away the cake in her honour it was that kind, so no guilt felt. The brides maids, she searched far and wide and landed on some 5 hotties. Some of who are now my new set of friends, were such a bubble of excitement waiting to burst out. I can say it actually did burst out, too much sunshine, smiles, dancing … happiness. From the make up, the attire, impeccable! It just made you feel pretty. Like a flower, which get’s me to my other discovery, that I don’t hate flowers. I hate the bulkiness that comes with some bouquets of flowers and the attention it seeks for people. Everyone wants to find out who sent it, what’s the occasion, how you feel. Talk about change of heart, if they came in a small package like the one we brides maids carried, I figured, that’s beautiful. I definitely wouldn’t mind me a bunch. Any time!

Then after the wedding, the next question was, will I sing for my hubby during my big day? Hell-to-the-no! I could croak away, or maybe the right word is, “I would croak away” the thought of it gave me the shivers. However, I might just write a post and read it out, it has to be an  interesting one though so that you don’t sleep. So don’t expect that I will ever sing in front of a crowd, that I left for Blaice, to each their own.

I love it that many of my friends are meeting their soul mates and getting into the marriage phase. Starting families in our youth and striving to be our best, to be home makers and care takers of our own. It just goes to show that we’re all grown and matured now. That we can take care of other people besides ourselves. Whatever pace you decide to take though don’t feel pressured, just let your life take its course. Single, dating, married, out of marriage, doesn’t matter really, just be the woman after Gods own heart. Don’t feel any less because of the stage of life you’re now in. Where you’re meant to be and who you’re meant to be with are all part of Gods plan, play your part and let him do the rest. That means you have to be in constant communication with him to be able to figure these stuff out, it’s harder than rocket science when you do it on your own. That’s my take.  As for my newly wed friends (Blaice and Nick), I wish you nothing less of a blessed marriage. One full of learning, loving and lots of laughter.

Proverbs 31

The Proverbs 31 Woman in a nut shell.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Caring Too Much … Perhaps?

Sometimes you care so much even when you are not meant to. Not that caring is bad, caring is the best thing that could ever happen to anyone. To care about someone, to be cared for, best feeling in the world. If anything, caring is synonymous to love. When you care about someone and someone cares about you just as much or more, then that’s love, genuine love. Or at least that’s what I choose to think is one of the basics components which constitutes love. Caring is selfless, something you give not because it’s an obligation you’re supposed to fulfil or because it’s a duty assigned to you, but because you feel the need to and that the person you care for deserves at least that from you, they are that special.

care

I know you’re wondering where I am getting to with this, I am too. Was just trying to show you that caring is actually good, until it becomes bad. We people are known to care too much. Caring too much even for things and people who don’t really deserve it, people who don’t really matter to us, people who don’t really care about us and neither do we about them. We care about the wrong things from those people, we care not because we actually care for or about them, instead, we care what they think about us, what they say about us, what their opinion of us is or even whether what we do or say pleases them or captures their attention and if they’ll have something good to say about it or us. We even create the illusion that for us to be happy, we must please these people who we don’t really care about by doing or saying things that we normally wouldn’t do or say. We are not ourselves around them in the aim to please them, an extra price to pay for something you don’t need to do in the first place. Sounds familiar?

Not once or twice, I can say that I have tried to please those people who don’t care about me. Saying things I wouldn’t normally say, doing things I normally wouldn’t do, basically going completely out of my way not to be myself, all in the name of trying to make someone else happy. Someone who doesn’t recognize how much effort you have put in whatever it is you’re doing to make sure that they are happy or comfortable. Not being you bites you in the back when you’re very unaware. It’s the same people you try to please who will talk smack about you in your absence, who won’t be straight with you, who will be quick to say what’s wrong instead of what’s right to other people besides you. It’s like throwing a curve ball, you think you’ve scored a goal after a super strike only for it to come back and hit you in the face.  I must have reached a point in life I figured it’s always been about the people I care for and the people who care about me and no one else. The rest usually fall into place, they settle for what the ones you care about get.

Sometimes you want to carry all the weight of the world, but (un)fortunately you have only two hands with some inspiration from “Avicii – Wake Me Up”. I bet God had that in mind when he gave us two hands, you can’t start operating like an octopus. Basically be who you are, do what’s in your ability, be honest with yourself and to those around you, say and do what you feel because those who care about you or matter will definitely not mind and those who don’t care about you or don’t matter … well does it really matter now that they don’t matter? I think it’s a notion we have in our heads that everyone should like us for we who we are. Unfortunately now, the universe doesn’t play easy, so those one who don’t matter shouldn’t bother you, because eventually, they fade away. Difficult one but for an easier win, just know your people!

Care

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

The Fake Hiatus

Because technically it looks like I was in one but I really wasn’t. I was just a little lazy coupled with a series of blank moments. Oh boy, then I remember there’s blogging in my life, which happens almost all the time, but then I open a blank page and run out things to write or worse think I have lots to share only to start out and go, “nah, maybe I shouldn’t.” The title should have been a day in a bloggers life. We have so much to say, but then we have moments where you question yourself and what you are about to say. You start feeling like every-time you share something you’re exposing yourself.

Does it ever get to a time you just don’t feel like saying anything, you just want to go sit at the corner and see what’s going on around you and probably see if anyone will take notice? I remember it used to happen to me every once in a while when I was growing up maybe it still does just that I haven’t reviewed myself of late. I was the talkative one, but then it would reach a point I would want to take some time out, and consciously or subconsciously I would just retreat. It’s like I’m there but not really there, you know just be invisible for a moment. Maybe to see if there’s someone who cares enough to check up on me or give me stories as well. Such a tease, then of course chances are that no one really did and I get over my “fake hiatus” or “invisible” moment and  go back to my normal chatty self.

In this case, well, I was going through a phase and now I am back with a BANG! July was one hell-of-a cold month and it looks like it’s rubbing off on August already. August needs to shake that off, because my wardrobe and body can’t take it any more, I want the sun. Not the scorching kind though, just enough to keep me warm during the day and allow me not to over-layer clothes. Which is interesting because we human beings have our needs changing more often than baby diapers. One time we want the sun, then when it’s smack right in the middle of your forehead hot enough to fry an egg sunny side up, you want it to rain and when it rains cats and dogs with puddles all over, we want the cold, just the cold and now it’s cold, good grief, I want the sun.

It’s just like life. When you’re presented with one situation, you forget how the other one you were in used to be. And when the one you’re in doesn’t appeal to you as you anticipate(ed) it to, you want to get back to where you were before because you think it was better than what you’re experiencing now. In essence, you were probably looking forward to the situation you’re in just as eagerly. Life is  such a twist. With that, I think the reason God made seasons, is so that we learn to live with each of them.

Learn to persevere through the scorching sun and thunderstorms as well as be content when the suns comes out during the thunderstorm and the rain pops when the sun is scorching.

Other than the cold, I actually managed to try out a few things that I haven’t either done in a long time or just never done before this July, so it wasn’t boring either. At the end of the month when I look back, there’s a lot to smile about more than there is to frown about. Actually, I wouldn’t say there’s anything there is to frown about. God has been good to me, to us, I am more than grateful. Here goes;

Danielle Steel, Books, Good Reads

Gifted book mark by the parents I think during my very 1st graduation…I’ve graduated that many times. Love the message #TreasuredGifts

 A friend recommended the #3books30days challenge and I decided to take it on, easy *read difficult, very* as it sounds. I have done 2 books so far; Brida – Paulo Coelho and Danielle Steel – Big Girl, one more to go,  Lauren Weisberger - Devil Wears Prada ( really  looking forward to reading this one). I had kind of shelved my book (novel) reading because of school and the exhaustion it comes with but it’s like I am now getting my reading mojo back, slow but coming on.

Friends, Friendships, Hosting

The scarf is courtesy of FloEssentials (Facebook). Scarves are her thing, she ties them so effortlessly it’s amazing, while I struggled my way around with it.

Of friends discovered through other friends and turning out to be ah-mah-zing. You know those lose introductions that happen because the person I hang out with also used to hang out with her. Then a few years after, we somehow keep in touch and we decide you know what, maybe we should just link up and catch up. The world just leads you to the people who are meant to be close to you “the touch effect” and we decide to hang out and ta-daaaaa *if you’ve watched Crood you should relate* we’re just insync. They (my friend and the hubby) finally got us to do our first hosting, we feared at first (you think of all the things you don’t have, like serving dishes et al, you know the bachelor-bachelorette lifestyle) and they were the most comfortable and entertaining guests we’ve ever had *actually, the first*, now they don’t feel like guests any more. We ate, drunk, played scrabbled, poker and chatted the night away. They are officially our favorite couple friends, you know you’ve gotta have those. Grateful they found their way into our lives, or vise versa.

Nail Polish, Sunset

You see both rarely, that’s the relation. LOL. There could be no better way to describe me getting my nail polish groove on, but I did. I find it such work, you know the application process, the fanning of your hands for it to dry, the holding things delicately to avoid the much dreaded smudge. Oh but it definitely looks good on me as I type on my key board. I could literally type gibberish just to have a glance at my peach painted nails. I think that’s my motivation for now, let’s hope it lasts long enough to have me purchase a different color.

As for the sunset, I went to visit my folks on the weekend and on my walk I was engulfed by the beautiful view of the sunset. It even looked more beautiful when seeing it through that singled out tree. Picture perfect. If I had a Canon or Nikon camera, trust me this pic would have made it to Mutua Matheka’s wall paper Monday, but I didn’t.

So much more happened of course, but these were the ones I was able to capture, or do you want a novel? Nah. How was your July? Hoping it was great and you would have a thing or more to say about it. The best thing about today (very convenient that it’s 1st August), is that you know something you didn’t know yesterday. Better yet, is you are or will be able to do something you didn’t do yesterday or ever before. That’s the beauty of life, everyday gives you a chance to play it out a little or to a great extent differently from how you did it before. It’s very forgiving in that sense, it holds no grudges, only you do. Have yourself a blessed August.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

My Kind…

Of people. Those people you meet for the first time and you just gel in like you were meant to be.  All of a sudden it feels like you’ve known each other for a lifetime despite you being strangers not so long ago (seconds, hours, days). You have so much in common, so much more than you can comprehend. It gets surprising that most of the stories that you have and choose to narrate, somehow you relate because you’ve either been there done that or are doing it or  just because it makes so much sense to you. It’s almost inexplicable that even in things that you haven’t quite experienced and they have, you can still relate and sort of build a picture. You know the way you read a novel and think the writer had you in mind as they wrote. That kind.

Puzzle

There’s a void they fill no one else yet has. It’s like a puzzle, you know how each piece has its design and hole and there’s just one other piece that can be able to fill and fit its design and hole. These designs or holes could be one thing about us that this person needs in their life. Something that others can’t do as well as you would do in their life and somehow you’re just drawn to each other.

It’s funny how we could have a friend and we want to be everything to them or vice versa. Sometimes I’m being modest with words here, I don’t think it’s possible to be someone’s everything in as much as you would love to be. That’s why puzzles have pieces, and each piece has its function. Unless you really give yourself up and try to live someone else’s life, for you to be able to there for them in all capacities. There’s that one thing or few things that makes someone fit into your life, that piece. Something about their character or trait or ability, one that only suits a certain part of your puzzle which is your life. Then I thought of what “My Kind” is. At least 5 things that have drawn people to me:

Humour – You know those people who make you laugh, laugh and laugh again … despite the situation as it could vary from a not so bad situation to a very bad situation and there’s nothing much left to do. I think it’s what keeps most of us sane, if not all of us. Sometimes you need to laugh some situations away, you know where you narrowly escape due to the humor in your life. I mean, what would you do without some laughing? Or someone making sense of this life in a ‘not so serious’ way?

Non-Judgemental - You want someone who you’ll open up to candidly and they won’t look at you like “how could you” or “no, you just didn’t”. You want to just be you and have them accept you for who you are. Don’t we all look for that? Then if it’s something that needs some intervention or help, they can offer in whichever capacity they can.

Down to Earth – My other name was supposed to be simple, complex nags me, like you have no idea. So the moment I see complexity in a person, I want to take to my ‘heels’ (okay, flats since I’m rarely in heels…lol). I like people who don’t make other people’s lifes difficult. You work with what you have, bila ‘no’ pressure.

Realistic – “Head in the cloud, feet on ground” kind of people are my kind of people. Because then you’re sure that you can make whatever it is that you talk about happen sooner or later. Your ideas and opinions can help the current situation. These are the people who ground you when you’re busy flying away into the unknowns.

Self-Confident – Nothing says to me “good friend” than one who’s confident about themselves; who they are, what they do and what they want. Not bossy though, I can’t stand bossy, they get to my nerves. It basically means, you know yourself, you’re comfortable with yourself and you love yourself enough to accommodate someone else without feeling like you’re losing yourself or being a burden. You can help and motivate each other.

Maybe you could also look at what kind of people you get drawn to and why? That would be a good question to ask yourself for self-evaluation purposes. It was such a random one, this one. For me, it helps me understand the people who I call my friends a little better. You know the ones I have, the ones I once had and lost touch and the one’s I am gaining. Doesn’t make sense having so many people in your life and not knowing why they are there, ain’t it? That creates content for another post.

This one is my #ThrowBackThursday post. It’s taken me back yo! To you, you and you,  now have yourself an ah-mah-zing one won’t you? Your answer best have been a YES!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Crazy Lessons and a Little Bow

Last week, I had one interesting week. You know one that is full of lessons, not necessarily directed at me, but I think it kind of gave me the hints of how to handle life and what it brings along. Especially those things that I have control of. Basically, by the time I was closing in the week to start off a new one on Monday, I was feeling so refreshed and with a new source of energy, hope and desire to greet the new week with. Not because I had hit the jack pot … Gah! I wish I had wouldn’t mind me some extra dime, but because of the positive vibes that I happened to come across in my quest for fun times. Since a week is made up of 7 days, I’ll do the 7 main lessons I learnt.

7 crazy lessons

Lessons 1

Dream and dream big about whatever it is you’re passionate about. Don’t limit yourself in your dreams, go all out. Even when you think you’re being too ambitious, dreaming didn’t cost anyone a dime, or did it? I don’t mean the dreams that come when we’re asleep, like in your subconscious. This is the kind that you dream of consciously. Where your mind is active and travels faster than your eyes can see. Not only should you just dream, work towards making it happen. Say it out loud, share with someone because the principles of life are such that what you say becomes. I don’t know how that plays, but it does. Many have, I believe you also can.

Lesson 2

Sharing is caring, especially IDEAS. Socialize, network and share your ideas with your family, colleagues, friends and even strangers who feel confident enough to approach you and talk to you – beware of conmen though. It only gets more real when you share, plus these people, they broaden your idea, your vision and make it look clearer to you. Just in case you had any doubts in your ability to actualize this ideas, that’s what sharing does. It gives you confidence, because if you can say it, then share it, what makes it so hard in trying to actually do it, it becomes a challenge. Get my drift?

Lesson 3

Lack of resources should not deter you from chasing your dreams, because that’s our story, majority of us that is. We have to work hard to get the resources that will enable us to achieve our plans/goals. It could be a little disheartening which is normal for any human I suppose, but tell yourself good things, like how you’re a superstar no jokes. Give yourself psyche, keep trying and working hard even when all seems bleak. Someday you’ll look back and realize that it was not really about the resource but about your ability to lift yourself and work through a situation.

Lesson 4

Work with what is currently within your means, unless you’re Bill Gates. Know thyself, know what you have and what you don’t have. Then know how you can work with what you have and feel content as you work towards getting what you don’t have. I am pretty sure, actually I am very sure that we can’t have everything we want, but we’re not usually left in a “tumble-weeds, whistling wind and a lonely church-bell” kind of situation. Somehow, there’s always something we can cling on to, to turn around our situation and make it better. Life I tell you, when you really think about it, it’s hilarious.

Lesson 5

We all want to start life on the fast lane, don’t we? I could do with that seven figure salary already. But what we need to know is that it’s okay to start it small then build your empire while at it. That fast lane ain’t running away to anyone, it’s there for us to live it, but sometimes it has to take its own course. Starting small doesn’t mean that you’re any lesser than another person who probably is doing better than you are. It gives you an opportunity to work harder, learn to manage the little you have, to be able to appreciate every step of the way as well as figure yourself out before being overwhelmed by the life in the fast lane. If you think about it you’re lucky if you start small, embrace it while at it, but don’t get complacent, you have a dream to chase and conquer. If you got it all at first, would you really know how to appreciate or look back to see how far you’ve come? It could get boring actually.

Lesson 6

A wedding is not a marriage. A wedding is a day, a BIG day in your life though. A day you make a commitment to that person you want to spend your life with. As that commitment is being made, it should be made in happiness, not in regret, pain or struggle. As you plan and organize for that day, you know yourself and your partner and the positions that you’re in i.e. financially. It’s not about what your friends want or expect your day to be but about how you want it to be. If they love you, they’ll be by you and help you achieve your plans. Plan it with that in mind to ensure that both your sane not insane desires are met. So that the wedding can be the start of a happy marriage. This one lesson revived our hope for weddings.

Lesson 7

Last but not least, “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication” - Leonardo da Vinci. It simply shows that being simple isn’t banal, it’s elegant, especially on people. It looks good on you. I respect people who have the ability to lead a complex life, but chose to have it simple in the way the live and deal. I find simple so admirable, sexy, humble and something I can live with, any time. It’s one perspective I find appealing to mind because with simplicity there’s so much beauty and happiness without unnecessary pressure. Plus it just simply cuts across all.

Feel free to also share a lesson you’ve learnt over time or one that you think someone will learn from you. Then with that, have a fabulous week full of laughter and blessings, it only goes uphill from there.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Of Friendships

Friends

Friends for a moment, friends for a season, friends for a lifetime.

“Just like a nice assortment of chocolates friends come in all different shapes, sizes, colors, personalities, backgrounds, religions, and cultures. You never know what you are going to get sometimes as you navigate your way through your box. There are many different friendships to tantalize the “friendship palate”.” Source

Friendship is a thing I believe that’s quite the big deal in our lives, although people like me try to down play it. We’ve called people our friends, best friends, best friends forever and the likes. For you to brand someone that, it’s because there’s something about them that you want to be associated with. There’s something about them that makes you want them to be a part of your life. There’s that saying that goes something like; “with family, you don’t choose, you’re given, but with friends, you have the free will to choose”. So your friends are somewhat the family that you choose, besides your God-given family.

As we grew up, my parents had their friends who we used to visit and used to visit us every so often. They would bring their kids over, or we would go to theirs, have parties and sleep overs. I didn’t know whether we were related or not and didn’t bother to know. As far as we were concerned my parents friends were our uncles, aunties and their kids our cousins. Somehow through my parents, they became like part of our family. You’d be surprised that if you asked me to name my real aunties, uncles and cousins and the family friends feature heavily in that list. There are some of whom I came to realize that we’re not related as late as this year.

Friendship is not a thing that we can just ignore, because like relationships they pretty much define us. It’s those people you communicate with, you socialize with, you hang out with. Those people who challenge you, who you share with your ideas, those people who level you up when you’re a tad unbalanced or irrational, those people who plant your feet back to the ground when your head is busy floating in the sky. They are special people. Not everyone can tolerate you, but friends somehow manage to. Friends are those people who could have talked about you behind your back but instead choose to tell you, because you’re their friend. They are those people who when you get that “can the earth open up and eat me up” feeling, they go ahead to show that their would be a void in their lives if that ever happened, and they help you try to solve the problem at hand.

Friends may not necessarily have all the money in the world to stand by you financially, they could not necessarily be the most connected people to help you get who and what you want, but they are the people with the biggest hearts. You’ve got to love hearts, because they’re not material. The mind could be, it could make you think of all the good things and bad things, but the heart is genuine and what it offers cannot be measured quantitatively. It doesn’t consider what one has and what one doesn’t have, it just goes for who that person is. It accepts the person as is, and strives to be there for them, help them be a better them, give them hope when all seems bleak.

Remember Maslow’s hierarchy of needs? I know friendship is somewhere up there in the hierarchy, but it almost also feels like a physiological need (the most basic need). A basic need that you shouldn’t have too much of, because I mean you just need enough of it to satisfy your needs, ain’t it?  So you don’t have to have a million friends. How would you even meet the needs of each one of those or vice versa? You would get so overwhelmed that idea of friends would infuriate you. If you really think about it, you find that those people who actually call your their friends or you call your friends are a handful. The rest, probably are just acquaintances or you know, something like part of your network.  Those, you’ve got to have many, millions so to say. People you think of because a situation has come up,  you need something from them or they just happened to cross your path. No? You’ve got to love all this people, they won’t necessarily always be there for you when you need them (and are not obliged to) but they sure do make the world a better place by all means. Someone may not be your friend, but they could be part of your network. I think that’s where we have a hard time drawing the line, then feel cheated when the network doesn’t play the friends role.

Also, some friends do have terms, unfortunately. Maybe that’s how it’s drawn up by the creator. There are those for a moment, a season or a lifetime. Life happens somewhere midway and those friends that you thought you will have forever somehow vanish. It could be as simple as slipping away as a result of distance, difference in lifestyles and so on or as dramatic as difference in opinions, arguments and fights over, for or against something. When the term for a friendship comes to a close, most of us find it difficult to let go *guiltily raises hand*. In essence, letting go could be the best decision you could make as a friend. It’s a loving thing to do when you see it’s not working out. Instead of dragging them along, just let it be. Things do change, people do change, friendships do change. It’s normal and less burdening, I figure. Then there are those who are there for a lifetime, I live for those. Isn’t it great when you meet someone or people you can grow with, have disagreements and different opinions but still agree or have level ground, have distance between you but still connect in every way and in future let them into your children’s life and have them confuse them for family! Dang!

I think the thing with friendships based on my observation is more of “just let it flow”. When it doesn’t work, let it be, when it works, let it be. Whatever the case, having a friend is a blessing from the almighty to us. After all, what would life be without them? Treasure them, love them.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*