Tag Archive | WhatsYourStory

Back to Life

Let me tell you something we (bloggers) don’t tell you; sometimes, we run out of things to say, then we get a sudden epiphany or an inspiration from the people or things around us. Other times, you have things to say but you question its validity. Considering everyone has their own personal opinion on that thing that you’re about to write on, yet you’re putting your opinion out there for it to be judged. It’s a tough hobby this one, but fun all the same because you put your mind out there.

Where the old school people at? Remember Soul II Soul’s – Back to Life? They had such cool rhythms and flows then, that when you think of a word, the lyrics all come flowing, even if you’re poor at cramming lyrics like I am. I just thought of “back to life” and the next thing that came along was “back to reality” and a tune to back it up. Also, made me think of LPs and how cool they were and if they’re available anymore, even on the olx.com.gh’s of this world, they’d make good keepsake’s now. Took me back for a moment there.

Anyhow, I divert. This weekend we did our 1st traditional visit – I was in the clouds, now I’m back to life. You know where the fiancé comes over with his boys and his uncles to book his girl (for lack of a better way to say it), state their intentions and discuss the way forward in terms of dowry and the marriage that follows. It was a new experience and quite interesting too given the . Life is about learning, unlearning and re-learning – that’s one thing I appreciate about it. There are things they never teach you in school and this weekend I got a dose of what they didn’t teach me, our culture and its importance.

I always wondered why folks made a big deal about the culture. I didn’t think it’s necessary at some point, I thought it was just a way of them making the process hard for you, you know like their parents did. At the mention of culture I cringed, because of the stories I’ve heard. Stories about the bride’s family extorting the groom’s family. I always wondered why people in the western world just went ahead and dated, engaged and got married without any internal processes taking place. Maybe I got that wrong, because I’ve never actually been in one or know a friend who told me the story, it’s what I saw in movies.

I won’t lie, I wasn’t nervous at first because I know my family. I know my parents, my aunties and my uncles, but the more I let the thought of “what if the stories I hear come closer home”, I started becoming nervous. Then I expressed my fear to my parents and aunts and I loved how they taught me this lesson.

Like a girl attending a basics class on tradition and culture 101, they first explained to me how theirs went down. They were all so funny, because none of them were even there, their parents are the ones who carried out the process because they were far but had identified their spouses, but for them to go ahead and get married, the families first had to meet, know where each other is from and create a bond. And this is what the introduction, dowry and many other process did.

Every society has a culture. Culture is made up of traditions, beliefs, and ways of life, from the most spiritual to the most material. It gives us meaning, a way of leading our lives. Without which we’ll lose ourselves and the core of who we really are. Culture is just not another adornment or accessory that we human beings can use, it’s what makes us human. Culture helps us to define our relationships and engagements with our immediate family and the society at large. It’s also what helps us grow the bond between the different societies, by allowing them to identify with others of similar mindsets and backgrounds. The meeting and mutual respect between two different cultures and how they merge to become one big family.

This weekend, I am proud that my family finally connected with my fiancé’s family and that by living up to our different cultures, we were united. And truth be told, now that it all makes so much sense, when I have kids, I will make sure that we do the same. It’s something to be proud of, especially when done with respect and love … it depicts appreciation to the parents for raising you and that you still want your family (from both sides) to be a part of you. This was just the beginning of many more to come, looking forward.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

 

 

You’ve Got To Start Somewhere

The other day I bumped into one of my childhood friends and as we were catching up, we start talking about how it is living on our own. I’m slightly older than she is so I’d been out in the woods a little longer. This got me thinking of my journey, because I just didn’t wake up one day and find myself where I am today, I ain’t no rocket.

I started somewhere. That somewhere sure wasn’t the top either. You know how we sing along to that “started from the bottom, now we’re here” song in the club, it pretty much comes to perspective. I haven’t reached there yet, but at least I believe I’m on the right tangent that’ll eventually lead me there, my own house.

20140528-003900-2340169.jpg

Back to where I started, she asked me about my 1st house. First, my 1st house was like a miracle, because I looked for it out of desperation. I wasn’t being chased out of home per se, but my parents were moving to a place that was going to be a little too far from my work place. Plus, I was going back to school, so the commute would have taken a toll on me. Basically, the only other solution was to get a place and move out. I honestly never imagined that moving out would require such little convincing, I thought my dad would flatly refuse. I searched around and through my mums network I was directed to an SQ at Ngumo. I liked the house despite it having its shortfalls – water issues, the bathroom was outside (gave me the creeps a couple of times), zero natural light into the house, overnight rent inflation, non-refunded deposit and so on.

How I furnished the house, I recall, I didn’t get everything at once, but I had saved enough to pay my deposit, rent and shop for necessary items. I also had my little monthly income (weh, that was an experience on learning how to manage the little you have…lol). I worked with a list that indicated things in order of priority. For instance, I sat on cushions and watched movies on my laptop the 1st few months (so a couch and TV were bottom on the list). I got some “hand me downs” from my mum, while my dad played a huge role in sponsoring and ensuring that I acquired the things that were flagged *important* especially those pertaining to food – his biggest worry was that I should be able to cook and store my food when it remains, so for him a cooker and fridge were top priority (it’s funny when I think of it now).

All the same, I loved my little first house, I made it habitable. Time came for me to move out of there after a year and some months when my landlord experienced some issue with the main landlord (rental house issues). It was unexpected, and looking for a house is no easy feat. I prayed about it and voila, asking around, my friend linked me up with an agent in Kilimani who showed me a house that I fell in love with at first sight. It solved all the problems I had with my first SQ. This one was an extension with water than never run out; normal internal bathrooms; signed agreement – no rent inflation and deposit is refunded minus maintenance; excess light, with a sun roof in my bedroom, it’s like the landlord was going green; much bigger, everything fit perfectly.

Somewhere along the way, in as much as I loved my little light haven, I felt like I was growing out of it. Like I would like to move in to a bigger space, that’s not within someone’s compound, an apartment. I respected my feeling and urge to look for another house. After a few searches here and consultations there, a prayer and some more, I found the house I now live in. It’s just what I wanted. Now the next feeling, I sense it from afar, is to own a house.

Just like I found my way around different houses that meet my growing needs, or just like I progressed from one stage to another and learnt along the way, that’s how life is in general. My inner being nudges me to grow in the different spheres of my life and pushes me to seek for more even when it almost seems impossible. I believe that’s how you #ChaseYourDreams. With dreams, they don’t come easy, you’ve got to start somewhere.

Happy Hump Day!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

The Million Dollar Question?

Even after I said “YES”, the first question that ran through my mind was, “how did you know the size of my finger?” I was too curious, because that would have been my only selling point.

The story, now that’s the question everyone has been asking of late. I’m not the best at narrating the same story over and over. But it seems for this season that I’m in, I need to get used to it and, that this bling sure does bring a lot of attention. I didn’t see myself in this phase this soon, and maybe that’s why the mister managed to sneak away with it. I was being very futuristic, I didn’t want to give him pressure in as much as all of you out there gave me pressure *looks at you, you and you*. I just wanted to go with the flow.

And with the flow I went. He’s a sneaky one, because on that Saturday 19th April, it was my turn on the rotter to work. He diligently dropped me at work, no signs whatsoever except him booking me for the day and night. All through work, I felt like I was in a daze, which made me think with the weather change I could be in the process of catching a cold. However, I wrote a post too, it was too pressing, I had learnt a couple of things that week through him and with him. Time to go home, I call him just to give him a heads up, and he offers to come back and pick me up. He’d done this a couple of times before so again, it felt normal.

When he picks me up, he hands me a gift bag and inside is perfume. WOW! He had chosen a yummy scent that I immediately adopted as My Scent. I was still in a daze. Let me explain the state, “happy and floaty for no reason, so it just feels a little awkward”. Does that make some sense?

photo (4)

So we go grab something to bite and go home to watch some flicks looking forward to dinner. This Easter was pretty chilled out with no out-of-town plans (contrary to what we had earlier planned). So I was looking forward to the food, he was clearly looking forward to other grander things. If only I knew. I would have bought a new dress…lol. When evening reaches, he nudges me and tells me to dress-up. With his special line “we can’t be late for this one.” You know we women and our delaying tactics, I got it from my mum.  I was on time this time round, funny enough I didn’t even  give him a hard time getting dressed up. Normally I’d be in jeans but that day, I was very willing to dress up.

Out we went, where? “It’s a surprise,” he says. We check in to Serena and I’m like aha, but the “Captains Table at The Mandhari Restaurant” AHA! I only see all that attention in movies. And the attention is from when you check in to when you’re leaving the building. God bless those lovely waiters.  With a whole bottle of Moet to ourselves, if I knew what was going on, I’d have had a photographer on speed-dial. We just had make do with what we had by ourselves and the new fad – selfies to make memories. I loved the privacy, he knows me too well.

KawiSnippets, Engaged

1. I, very clueless  2. The Mandhari Restaurant Menu 3. Moet, 4. So sparkly, champagne ain’t the yummiest beverage at first but the taste grows on you. 5. The Master of selfies, takes us one. 6. Healthy starter – with wheat, nuts and all things healthy. 7. Mushroom Soup 8. Chicken Soup, 9. with a Quail egg to compliment (even with all the hype, I’d never eaten one yet, there’s a 1st for everything) – It had a name, I can’t remember. 10. Chefs special – Shrimp (with things in it) – I could have eaten more of those, too yummy for just one. 11. Creamy Au Gratin Potatoes – Pure yumminess in a cup plate. I’m now a potato person – being the person who hated potatoes in her food, but with cheese & butter anything is possible. 12. Pork Ribs. 13. Lamb Chops. 14, 15, 16. Those are two happy & grateful people.

It looks like my main word is yummy. It’s either yummy or not yummy. In a nut shell that’s how the evening went down of course followed with a nigh-out with a couple we look up to (not the parents haha, Mr & Mrs Ngigi). I was overwhelmed with joy. Too overwhelmed that we forgot to take pics of the dessert which the waiter said “comes served very hot.” Eh it was hot when she flung open the lid and I saw petals, a box ring and my boyfriend down on one knee.

No, I didn’t cry, not just yet. I think I was too surprised that he decided that it’s about time he “put a ring on my fatty-fatty finger”. I had asked God to give me someone I’ll be ready to spend the rest of my interesting life with. And with him, I felt that this was it. We have been together through the murks and the light as well, we’re growing together, we try up lift each other when either of us is down, we share the same values, beliefs and principles, he loves me all the time, even when I get to his nerves – like when I give completely wrong directions. He’s my all-weather friend. What more could I ask for? I am thankful to God that he’s taken his time to bring closer to me my life partner and we’re on the same page.

Engagement

For the next chapter, there’s no pressure. We’ll arrange it how we know it best, with the help of those who want the best for us. In all honesty, I’m the most clueless of bride-to-be, but we’ll sail through with God’s blessings. Can’t wait for that day and the lifetime to follow though.

To him,

Have a lovely week, now won’t you? To a wonderful journey we’ll have on here. Lot’s of love, light & peace from us to you.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

 

Simplicity Equals Functionality

Normally, I don’t go back to read on what I have written before, because it’s awkward reading what I’ve written. You know the same way it’s awkward listening to your voice. I don’t know if you find it awkward, do you? I already know I wouldn’t make a good radio presenter. I cringe when I hear my voice somewhere in an audio/video (not that it’s bad, don’t burst my bubble just yet, it’s just … awkward).

Anyhow, I decided to just go back and see what I’m usually on about and I figured I really underestimate myself. I still don’t think I’m really good at whatever I do. I’m confident I can do it, but that’s just about where it ends.  Looking back, I actually do say things that make sense even days and years after.

I forget what I wrote about, when I wrote it, why I wrote it and what I was going through when I wrote it.

Every post has its account. There’s a reason I decide to take a particular angle and not another or why one I decide to say this and not that. Maybe that’s why I don’t revisit them, because I go through a situation, learn my lesson and move on. But I have come to realize that most of the stuff that happens in most cases is not new. It’s the same old experience regenerating itself, in a lesser or a greater way. And the same lessons you learnt then, are the same lessons you learn now. Only difference is that maybe your maturity level has increased and you’re able to handle the situation better.

This could be anything ranging from family, friendships, relationships, career, personal experiences, or general life things. The posts are also a reminder that I’ve grown, even how I process things. I like it when people read the articles and interpret the story by themselves without trying to figure out why I wrote what I did or what drove that thought. I love it when someone can relate a story to their life and even more when it helps them through a situation. Many at times, I also look for inspirations from others through their books, blogs and conversations.

In other related news, one of my “new year” i.e. Birthday resolutions, was to make my life more functional. To me, functionality = simplicity. You can use sites such as OLX Free Classifieds to fix something or buy something that’s functional and reduce the clutter, then you have made your life a little simpler.

Kawi Snippets

That couch – got a carpenter to make one for me, can’t wait for it + the decor on there is just it … ideas). Fixed a cupboard my mum had handed down to me, now it looks fancier. Finally got a cooker – baking can become a reality.

For some reason, I like keeping stuff, but at the same time, I hate clutter and I value space. When I gave this some thought, I figured what I needed is functionality, hence the resolutions. Now, have yourself a lovely 4-day week and #ChaseYourDream.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

No Pressure Zones

Huh! Who are my kidding, no pressure? I just wanted to get some attention. There’s always pressure; external pressure, self-induced pressure and sometimes just underlying pressure. It’s placed neither here nor there but it exists, whether you try to get rid of it or not. It comes hungering for us, because chances are that we make such edible prey since most of us are susceptible to it anyway. That’s how we then end up hurting even when it’s unnecessary.

It then reaches a point where you just want to feel “no pressure”? For me the most amazing thing to happen to me in 2014, was almost always being reminded that, especially by the people around me. Of course it doesn’t mean that you just lax and do nothing. It means, just be you and be the best you can be without feeling like anyone is pressuring you to be or to do.

As I try to figure where I’m heading to with this, let me save myself the struggle and do what I’ve been really good at doing lately, lists. So a list of the “No Pressure” zones that I have managed to develop.

My Wardrobe.

This is me every morning … struggle to wake up, do the necessaries (go to the loo, stare at the mirror, brush my teeth), shower, oil thy self  and then stand in front of the closet and stare blankly. Wondering how I just don’t have clothes in a wardrobe full of clothes. A few lot of minutes into it, I pick something up, try, if it looks good, yaaay me. If it doesn’t, repeat process. Though I eventually get dressed, and to my standards, not so badly dressed, I keep thinking I want more clothes. It occupies my mind.

It got worse (or better now that I’m used to it) when I got a job at the bank because ¾ of my wardrobe had to change. Suits all day, every day. You can only own so many especially in month 1. I wondered how my colleagues had done it. Then as I interacted with them, I discovered that almost everyone had experienced the same feeling. It’s a transition, an expensive one. The one thing that always features is, don’t let it bug you, just work with whatever you have. They even give you tips on how to go about it and it makes one just feel adequate “zero pressure”.

What to eat for dinner.

If you’re a bachelor, well, a female bachelor to be precise, you probably feel the need to not eat junk food day in day out. It goes without saying, a moment on the lips is a lifetime on the hips with lots of regret. So what you’re eating for dinner can stress the life out of you. Sometimes you’ve not shopped for it or if you had, you’ve gotten home at some odd hours. At that time, all you want to do is to throw yourself on the couch and do lots of nothing unless say pass out. You might love cooking, but it’s the last thing you want to do. Then I figured, why stress about a meal, just go home and go with the flow. Worst case scenario, have milk and cereal in the fridge. It’s healthy.

What they think of you.

Don’t we all? You always want to please and please away, but technically that’s not possible. Accept that and live on. It’s as simple as that in words, then in life, it gets really complicated … in your mind. What to do? Tame my mind to see things as they are and not complicate things . Also, to try not read into someone else’s mind because in most cases, you read your own things. Feel me?

Wants that are not necessarily needs.

Guilty pleasures, they rule. You know in your mind and in your heart that you don’t need it (whatever it is) that much, but the desire to have it is insurmountable. That’s what I felt towards owning another phone, either similar to what I had or an upgrade. And guess what, I eventually got one today, because “no pressure” wrong example, but something’s gotta give. It was a cheaper upgrade (from S to V). I don’t know how Xperia is doing it, but they’re doing it well. You give in to your non-important wants, it makes you temporarily happy. Now I’m thinking, maybe I should have stuck to my budget plan…haha!

Pressure, Diamonds

Pressure will always be there, quite inevitable. Let your pressure come from events, things or circumstances that will only make you worthy, and make smooth the roughs in your life. It might look tough but embrace the toughness. I try to, sometimes I wonder why life has to be tough on me when it is, then after a some self-evaluation, I think why not. Plus, someone once said, “the tougher the lesson, the bigger the blessing.” All you need to realize, is that you managed to go through (whatever it is) and now you have the chance to do it better (isn’t that a blessing already?).

Nighty night lovelies. I missed you much enough to do a post on a Saturday night … XO!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

Like a Big Book

Like a big book being read by different people, and as the chapters keep being flipped, that’s its life. Once it’s been placed on the shelf, the person interested in it, will eventually pull it out, it could take a day or years. It could be because they’ve heard it’s a nice book or because for some (un)apparent reason appeals to them. What someone does with it is up to them. The best thing about a book is that its content, once written, it doesn’t change. The story builds on, but what’s written stays. It’s our mind that chooses how to interpret the story.

Thank God It's Friday

Thank God It’s Friday

 

However, before people decide to take ownership of the book, they check it out, read the synopsis and decide whether it’s worth it. It’s like a first date, from the conversations, the looks, the connection, you evaluate and make a choice – to keep or to shelf. Should one decide to keep, some read and understand the core essence of the book and treasure it like it’s supposed to be, others try to read into it – they might not get it, but they at least they try to. For others, they read to the end but it just feels like a waste of time (boring story line perhaps or it didn’t turn out how you had anticipated), others peruse through the pages just to get to the end – sort of – I have the book, so I might as well read it whether I like or not, others don’t even get past the synopsis. They like the book but the time isn’t right for them to read it (or they’re just not feeling it at that time – ever happened to you?). You’ve been dying to read a book but when you get to the book store and read the synopsis you just don’t feel it.

When you pick the book and decide to keep it, people treat the book in different ways; others fold the ends *create doggy ears*, others tear off the pages, others write on them maybe to mark something that was of interest to them, others pen down their name because they now own the book (and they sure don’t share), you want a book, buy yours! (I have a friend or two who love their books to death and they’d rather buy you a book than give you theirs).

Life is just like a book. Just like a book, there are those people who will treasure you, there are those who will be there but not really there, there are those who will trash you, there are others who will want you all to themselves. It’s an interesting turn out. As a book on the shelf, you don’t know who will pick you or what journey you’ll take once you’re out of the shelf. But as a book, you can tell who’s treating you like you deserve to be treated, who’s mis-treating you, only you the book can tell. Unlike the book, you have a life and you can make a choice how someone interprets your story.

You can tell it, like you want it to be. Books can’t speak, you can. Books can’t express, you can. Books can’t feel, you can. Books can’t move, you can. You definitely have the upper hand. You probably won’t write your story as it’s already written (again, the bible says) but how you strive to live it, makes all the difference.

ION, Just to let you know that I’m still here, I have not disappeared into thin air. Trying to organize myself and figuring out my time, especially how to wake up early. I wold love to do the posts early in the morning doesn’t everyone, but yikes, waking up! My mind wants but my body will just never coöperate. Even when I don’t have any sleep, which is a very rare occurrence. Looking forward to an awesome weekend, besides having work tomorrow #YOLO

To more laughing, living and loving. Let your weekend be nothing short of interesting, blessings!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

What’s Your Story?

Everyone has a story to tell. It could be the most lame story to you, but to someone else it could be life-changing, the epiphany they very much-needed. It could be what helps them be able to tackle a situation they’re in. In most cases, there are similarities in situations or stories. You may not have the same feelings, same reactions, same solutions, but there is some comfort in knowing that you’re not ALONE. You’re not the only one going through something. There’s someone else going through the same thing you’re going through, whether you’re rich or poor, black or white, Christian or Muslim. If not the same, maybe to lesser or greater degree that one can relate to.

What's Your Story, Experience, Life

Have you ever met with a stranger and when you strike a conversation they go ahead and ask you, “WHAT’S YOUR STORY?” That question used to get to my nerves at some point in my life. I always thought they want to find out about my relationship status or my age. It’s the kind of question when asked all you want to respond with is an astounding blank stare with popping eyes screaming silently “How dare you!” Because you have so much to say and this question is nothing but ‘so vague’. It doesn’t point you to any direction. Like, what exactly do you want to know, is it about my childhood, school, relationships, family, friends, work, or just me? Is this an interview? The question brings you a whole set of new challenges that rack your brain for a couple of seconds.

Well that’s what I’m kind of trying to do here. Rack your brain just-a-wee-bit. Take you back to any of your experiences that you think are worth jotting down and sharing with a friend or more here. You know when you write your experience it kind of sinks in a little more and it’s quite some therapy, at least for me. It reminds you more vividly of that moment you were in. It even helps you deal with yourself, because at that moment you’re thinking of yourself (one of the few times ‘it’s all about you’), what you were thinking, what you were feeling, how you reacted, what was the lesson you took from it. In good times and in bad times, all of them hold a story worth being told.

It’s something that’s been in my mind for far too long but I have been lazy to implement it because I didn’t know where to start. I had the idea but execution, you know how that goes. Currently being fuelled by a spark of the moment, hence the courage and psyche to start this category, which will be featured in the tabs up there. Basically, I’ll need you (my readers and fellow bloggers) to come into play. To tell your story, not necessarily your “relationship status or age” like I was once thought the question insinuated, but an experience that you feel compelled to share; to inspire, influence or impact someone else’s life.

Inspire, Impact, Influence

Looking forward to bugging you and hearing from you. So, What’s Your Story? Will be coming to a blog near you sooner than later. Stay blessed and keep safe.

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*