Woman Of Substance

Don’t we all hate disappointments? That being the sole reason you would rarely find me asking for help. I’ll always try to be ninja or superwoman just to avoid disappointments. I am totally guilty of this, I can’t even start denying and as result I set low expectations on people.Which after some thought in as much as it seemed smart, I found it rather lame.

Why would I set low expectations just because I fear disappointments? That means then I get a raw deal from whoever it is and I’ll just be okay with it. It’s not what I deserve, but it’s what I have chosen to get and so I settle for it. It’s more like a trade-off,  to avoid getting disappointed, then set low expectations, a lie we feed ourselves every other day.  Low expectations are actually the reasons we get disappointed, why we get hurt, why we are not happy, why we don’t get what we deserve, why our worth is under estimated.

Set high expectations for yourself and for others because a woman of substance knows what their worth and what they deserve. A woman of substance is a woman who has strong character, is consistent, has more to her than meets the eye and has a variety of interests outside and within her home and family. She is interesting to get to know; she possesses a depth of personality and character.

That’s what you should strive to be, don’t let anyone or anything make you think any less of yourself. You’re the best there could ever be and there’s no one else who can match up to you. I mean, after all you are the only you around. You need to leave a mark that no one else can replace, we all have that ability in one way or another…no?

To all, the women, whoever you are and wherever you are, it is a huge blessing that you are there. You all make life beautiful for without you so many things wouldn’t be. And to say the least, as my friend has put it, all those little things women do that may seem fussy, they actually do make life much easier for you. Take some time to appreciate a woman or two who play a role in your life, not just today but every other day and you’ll see the difference that makes.

Well … well … well, now that most women are defined by their relationships I can bet I’m not wrong on this. Here goes to the song of the day, I love it!

Lot’s of love to the women in who make my life beautiful. God bless y’all with your heart’s desires!

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

What defines a woman?

With reference to this post:  Every Womans Desire : It’s an Excerpt from the book ”Captivating – Unveiling the mystery of a Womans Soul” by John and Stasi Eldredge which my mum had gotten for me as a birthday gift. Well somethings like this come in handy in life because as it is this books has helped understand some things about women.

So here goes, “What defines a woman?” This is the most difficult topic. Even us women don’t really know. But anyway, according afore-mentioned book, “Most women define themselves in terms of their relationships, and the quality they deem those relationships to have.”

Correct me if I’m wrong, but honestly speaking. Just take a rough look at all the women in your life…this is for both men and women to  do. Ever since I read that book, I’ve always tried to prove this point wrong (the last 8 months). To say that they did their analysis wrong. That a woman cannot just be defined by relationships, emotions and so on. I mean!!! You know, I also did not get it  at that point.

Now  I totally understand. Have a look at this women:

A woman who is educated and so learned, they’ve done their degrees, masters and maybe even PH’d

A woman who is living on the 1st lane – she’s probably a C.E.O or Manager of some big corporation

A woman who works to earn a living i.e it could be any level of work.

A stay at home woman, *desperate housewives kinda woman*

A woman who is still a student

A woman who is popular among peers, could classify her as a Celebrity

A woman who has aged and now is reliving her life with grandchildren

I was just trying to classify the different kind of women we would find in our society. I am   pretty sure we all have a female friend who falls under this categories or many others that I haven’t mentioned. Ever asked them “Hey, How are you doing?”

Women are not like men, when you ask a woman “Hey, how are you doing?” Her first, very first instinct or thought will be emotional  again correct me if im wrong. She will say how she is based on her emotions, is she happy, is she in love, is she sad and depressed….unlike a Man, when you ask him, “wassup dude, how are you doing?”His very first instinct is material…in terms of his business is it doing well, is he making money, is he getting publicity he needs.

This is quite interesting, when I actually realised it. Do you know a woman could have prospered in everything she is doing but if her relationships are a fail then everything she’s worked for really loses it’s mean.

I woman’s pride is the success of  her relationships with the spouse, friends and children. That’s why women have so much drama and they eventually make up with the person they had issues with. And if the relationship is sore it will be the most depressing thing. That’s one of the reasons that would make a woman cry or feel that she’s not worth it.

It’s said that you can get a woman all the material things in the world, yes women like material things, dresses shoes, perfume, handbags, cars but show them no love then you have practically done nothing. They cancel out.

Why do you think a woman will work on their appearance for hours? Why a woman would stand by her loved ones no matter the circumstance *ride or die*? Why a woman would be easily conned by some ruthless con man using some emotional game, Why a woman would cry while watching a sad or mushy movie?

And the King, is “Why all the movies or programs that target women all have relationships/marriages in it?

Ever seen a group of women sitting together, when you come close, what is the main topic of discussion? Even when they are gossiping what do the gossip about. It’s always on RELATIONSHIPS….it could be boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, Mother/Child, Clande/Clandestine….Even when the Agenda is Business Oriented, I womans first thought is her relationship.

This makes men and women very different. Sometimes men would except the woman to be the pillar of strength… women are strong and can handle anything that comes their way…I’ve witnessed that, but they are much better and stronger when their relationships are on check.

There’s a quote I like to hate, it sounds a bit cold but it’s so true.

Anyway, I think now that men know that a woman is defined by her relationships maybe that could be a starting point of “Understanding Women”. I know it’s not the easiest role but I think just as a man invests in his business and analyses the environment *SWOT*, so can he invest in the emotional side of a woman too. And make her world worth living. Not necessarily just for spouces…I mean friends too…or even children to your mothers.

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

That’s just spot on! I shall not add nor deduct.

HAVE A LOVELY WEEK MY PEOPLE’S

Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*

“She’s just not that into you”!

Oh well reversed roles, thought that a girl can also be not that into a guy, I’m a girl and I know there are some girls who are just plain right not into a guy, doesn’t need a psychic to say so. There are so many things to show that
“She’s just not that into you”!

Here are just but a few ways to know if a girl is into you or not!! I know people are different, with different personalities but there are some traits that cut across the female species that is clearly similar. In that given such a situation we would act the same indirectly! Hope I’ve made some sense there.

Phone number

She will think over and over whether to give you her number or not. It’s a tough choice, then, “She’s just not that into you”!

If a girl is into you, you ask her for her number and she gives you immediately. She doesn’t think about it, it’ll maybe hit her later, ‘that was fast’…lol

Calls

If you call her and miss her a several times and she doesn’t call you back when she sees the missed calls then “She’s just not that into you”!

If she’s into you, chances for You getting a missed call are slim, because she’ll jump at the first ring, because she’s looking forward to your call. And if there’s a missed call, she’ll call back first thing…with no excuses like #iforgot

Texts

If you text her and she doesn’t respond accordingly, in that you’re in different levels of texts. Or rather if she doesn’t respond to your texts at all then “She’s just not that into you”!

If she’s into you, you’ll get a reply pronto!! no delays. and probably long ones, over explaining things.

One word answers

If you meet her and she is always responding to your questions with one word answers e.g. Yes, No !! “She’s just not that into you”!

When a girl into you, she’s literally a chatterbox, if the quiet boring ones. The share about anything and everything…both relevant and irrelevant.

Boyfriend Referral

If in your conversations she keeps referring to her current boyfriend and how she’s into him and she’s supposed to met him in a few then clearly, “She’s just not that into you”!

If a girl is into you, she’ll seldom mention another guy, let alone the boyfriend. Men are jealous and she knows that…hehe!

Strictly Official Talk

If your conversation is dwelling around work, work, work and no play .. she’s set her boundaries as to how far your conversation can reach, and as a result, “She’s just not that into you”!

If a girl is into you, she’ll talk about literally anything with you. She won’t limit herself. #FreeSpirited

Cancelling of dates

If a girl, has cancelled all the dates after your first date by giving lame excuses, then, “She’s just not that into you”!

If she’s into you, she’ll look for the smallest opportunity to meet you, even if its ‘hi’ ‘bye’ for 5 minutes #word!

Always busy

If she’s always too busy to talk to you then, “She’s just not that into you”!

A girl can make time for anyone she’s head over heals with..even if she’s madam president #TrustMe

Prefer to meet friends over you

If she cancels your date with her because her girls just scheduled a meeting at the same time then “She’s just not that into you”!

Because if she told her girls she’s meeting THE guy, they would reschedule and be excited for her. Unless it’s a life-death matter.

Not excited

If you always call her and she’s dull and sounds irritated when you call, then, “She’s just not that into you”.

If a girl is into you, she gets all excited, ecstatic and jumpy when you cal her or talk to her. You would automatically know she’s happy to talk to you or be with you.

Call you when need be

She calls you ONLY when there’s an emergency, then , “She’s just not that into you” i.e ‘will you drop me home? because you conveniently have a car’

If a girl is into you, she will even tel you of her plans in case you want in…

Last resort

When you’re the last resort for stuff, like if she’s call you after trying other channels and they fail and you’re most likely to be at her beck n call then, “She’s just not that into you”!

If she’s into you, you always be her first plan, always.

Rude responses

If she’s always rude to you and doesn’t really care what you say or do and does irritating things to keep you off, then, “She’s just not that into you”!

A girl whose into you, will be the sweetest to you, care about you and make sure that you’re treated right. Yes!

Hesitant to introduce you to friends and family

If a is hesitant to introduce you to her friends and family, then that’s unfortunate because, “She’s just not that into you”!

If a girl is into you, like head over heels, she wants you to meet everyone that matters to her. And that’s family and friends. She’s not like the dude who takes his time. She wants to literally announce, if possible to the whole world.

These are just but a few, although enough to give you a clear sign that a girl is either into you or not. It’s amazing how some guys still cling on, even after being thrown for all the signs in the world. And I tend to believe that if she’s not into you she shows it without hesitation.

I loved the Painting below, don’t know it’s by whom!! but Big Ups to them!

Signing off — *Kawi*

That Don’t Impress Me Much

Inspired by the song by “Shania Twain – That don’t Impress me much”. It got me thinking, how people get it all wrong about what impresses you. I can bet, every other human thinks that their strength is what impresses other people, not knowing that their weaknesses are what really don’t impress them… hehe a bit twisted but yah!

Clearly we share something in common, at least on my views on who impresses me and who doesn’t impress me that much.

So there is this kind of know-it-all’s, from my previous post, #WalkingWikipedia. Like everything they say is right, nothing you ask will go unanswered…quite some genius. That’s uber cool but there’s much more to it. There’s the looks and how you treat her, how you touch. It’s not all about how much knowledge, you can have all the brains for all she cares but without the rest, e’er that’s a no no!

I’ve known a few guys who thought they were pretty smart.But you’ve got being right, down to an art. You think you’re a genius-you drive me up the wall You’re a regular original, a know-it-all. So you’re a rocket scientist. That don’t impress me much. So you got the brain but have you got the touch. Don’t get me wrong, yeah I think you’re alright But that won’t keep me warm in the middle of the night.

Then there are the super hot guys, you know, quite attractive, well dressed, nice hair, manicured nails..okay am pushing it, but you get where am headed to. The full #EyeCandy. Oh well, fact that a guy is so hot, doesn’t really impress the girl..other factors should be included, same as above, how you hold her, treat her, talk to her.

Okay, so you’re Brad Pitt That don’t impress me much So you got the looks but have you got the touch Don’t get me wrong, yeah I think you’re alright But that won’t keep me warm in the middle of the night.

Last but not least, is the kind of man whose machinery is his #Baby , The Do not touch my car kind. And his machinery symbolizes his status and gives him the confidence he needs. He’s all about the model of his car, the phone he has, the only labels he can be caught with…bleh bleh bleh. So that you know, that’s barely the first step to impress a girl. You can have all that…she’ll be happy and proud of you and probably brag to her girls about it, but without the others how you love her and treat her, she’s a dead soul unhappy that is.

You’re one of those guys who likes to shine his machine You make me take off my shoes before you let me get in I can’t believe you kiss your car good night C’mon baby tell me-you must be jokin’, right! Okay, so you’ve got a car That don’t impress me much So you got the moves but have you got the touch Don’t get me wrong, yeah I think you’re alright But that won’t keep me warm in the middle of the night.

Anyhow trying to say that as much for women, You would see a woman looking for a super hot man, very rich man, a super intelligent man … those are very good qualities I would want in a man as well i mean being a woman. But if you can’t keep her warm on some cold night, or talk to her when there’s nothing to do, or be there for her when other people have disappeared oh well be sure #That Doesn’t Impress her Much!

Signing Off — *Kawi*

Every Woman’s Desire

So I was reading this book ”Captivating – Unveiling the mystery of a Womans Soul” by John and Stasi Eldredge…ok, I didn’t buy it myself (oops), I was given as a birthday present by my mum (awwww how sweet.lol.). She told me she just didn’t know what to get me because she wanted to get something that will benefit me, and something that I probably don’t have.  Clearly anything fashionista was out (meaning clothes, shoes and bags)… anyhow, she thought this book will be just it,  for my 23rd. And for sure it was. Here’s the thing I grasped from my read…

The authors: John and Stasi Eldredge — tooo cool, still trying to understand how a married couple would sit together and write a book — unveiling the mystery of a womans soul — i mean, honestly, do you know how hard it is to understand a woman, let alone women. I barely understand myself sometimes e.g Now, being why am even blogging and am supposed to be reading for some exams, but this makes me get a clear conscience — see! very weird #shiiish!

So here goes!!

Every woman was once a little girl. And every little girl holds in her heart her most precious dreams. She longs to be swept up into a romance, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, to be the Beauty of the story. Those desires are far more than child’s play. They are the Secret to the feminine heart.

And yet – how many women do you know who ever find that life? As the years pass by, the heart of a woman gets pushed aside, wounded, buried. She finds no romance except in novels, no adventure except on television and she doubts very much that she will ever be the beauty in any tale. (Thats so common, true and sad)

Your heart matters more than anything else in all creation. The desires you had as a little girl and the longings you still feel as a woman.

You’ll find that every woman in her heart of hearts longs for three things:

1. To be romanced (believe it or not, yes, the very essence of it.what you are thinking as well…lol)
2. To Play an irreplacable role in a great adventure : (this is more of being needed, to be the lifesaver, a helper of sorts)
3. To unveil beauty : (yes, to be recognized as beautiful, to be appreciated,be  adored…..does “Mirror Mirror on the wall, whose the fairest of them all”…ring a bell? trust me all women do that indirectly. Hence the dressing up, the make up, the salon)

Those three makes a woman come alive

It got me thinking and very curious as to whether it’s actually true. starting with myself, those three things as plain and simple as they look are every womans desire. It’s what reveals the captivating nature of a woman.

Did you know ?(BULB LIGHT) ?   That most women define themselves in terms of their relationships, and the quality they deem those relationships to have. Like I am a mother, a sister, a daughter, a friend. Or, I am alone, I’m not seeing anyone right now, or my children ain’t calling, or my friends seem distant.

So after reading this book, I have been inspired to become an avid reader of books that bring value to my little mind. And helps me to conceptualize things (ok, big word, but t’woz for lack of a better one ) now that my mind works on over drive sometimes … I can think up a million things at a go.

Random Quote: “Mankind is like a king/queen in exile, and we cannot be happy until we have recovered our true state”

 Signing off — *Kawi*