“Sometimes we forget where we forget where we’ve come from, until someone reminds us”.
Ever been in a situation where someone tells you “if someone had told me this when I was your age, things would have been different?” My folks told me that a lot and for that reason, I always remember. It’s a pity statement, but it has so much impact. It says you have potential that no-one bothered to tap. Sometimes we need that drive, you know someone to tell you, “Go for it” or “You can do it”, simply because you can. It’s so easy to lose hope in yourself and in things around you when you’re faced by an obstacle.
The folks, they didn’t have it easy in their time and they made that very clear. There was no one to give them tips on how they should go about handling the different situations that faced them. Be it school, profession, dating, marriage, parenting … you name it. They always told me that they followed their instincts on whatever felt right and if it turned out wrong, you just work your way through it, alone. There was no one to tell them how to do what they did, there were barely any mentors or even people to motivate them, like we do now.
The thing that amazes me most about them is that they never forget where they came from. They look back and see what they lacked and they want to make it different for the next generation. They tell us the stories, but they don’t dwell on them. They tell us so that we can be better than they were and do better than they did. They tell us that we have greater opportunities than they did and that we’re better off because we have them to guide us. Your folks have so much knowledge it’s ridiculous. If you say you don’t have a mentor, turn to your folks, your uncles, your aunties, your older friends. They might not be billionaires but they have a wealth of experience and knowledge that can help you become that billionaire that they didn’t become.
Why do you think they ensure that you go to good schools, that they check your report forms and performance in school and bash you when you’re not doing so well? That they want you to figure out what you want to be when you grow up early enough so that you can work towards it? Now it hits me that the question “what do you want to be when you grow up?” was not asked in vain. It comes in handy when we’re chasing our dreams. Dreams are built from a tender age. You might not be what you said you want to be, but at least it helped give you direction. I wanted to be a chef, then a doctor, look at me now, I’m a content girl.
Does that mean I haven’t gotten to where I wanted to be, I don’t think so. I cook some delish food and I’m still learning. I make home remedies and take care of anyone who’s unwell in my presence. But the fact that I had something I wanted to be, had me working hard even if not to be that, at least in the end of it, I found out what I was passionate about. My folks, they didn’t drill me into it. They guided me, and allowed me to be. But with guidance and constant check up’s on how I’m fairing in whatever I delve into. And for that, I really appreciate.
What made me actually think of this, is my baby sister and the tweet up there. She called and told me how school is just tough and draining, the exams, and how she’s scared of ever failing or not getting a first class honors because that would be letting down the folks. This made my heart sink a bit, because I was once in her shoes, same size, color, texture. Exactly the same.
School was tough. Heck, from primary school, secondary school, undergraduate, postgraduate and certifications. They were all so tough. I’m a last minute person (very bad trait) and I work best under pressure, so sometimes I would end up trans-nighting for exams, because failing wasn’t an option. Oh, I burnt that mid-night oil. School is just school, it never gets easy and you never get used to it. Life, life is also tough, the challenges are in excess. Sometimes I look back and the fact that I got through a certain stage, just makes me smile. Because I realize I’m actually stronger than I think I am and most times, more intelligent than I think I am.
School can make you under-rate yourself, life can make you under-value yourself. But if you encounter and engage the right people, people that empower you, they change how you perceive yourself and you become an over-achiever.
When you feel it’s so tough, because it was tough, school is not the end of the world. Many times, I did an exam that was so hard and I saw stars, but when the results came, I hadn’t done that bad, that made me feel better. Pressure is good, really good, because it give you a push, but don’t succumb to it. Don’t let pressure get to you, you get to it. This also reminds me of a time I was clueless in my programming classes, I just didn’t know how to code. But somehow I cracked it, but I was feeling like I just can’t do this anymore.
The folks, the ones who bash you when you feel like school is just crap, they were there, they just sat beside me as I did my project, asked what the system does because that’s all they could do to encourage me. That alone, gave me psyche to learn, to ask my friends for help, to do better. Let me not blow my trumpets but it went uphill. When work sucked and I just felt like I’ve had enough, the folks talked to me and told me of their experiences and that of their friends, and boy! Did I feel much better? People have gone through worse. Your case is just representative of a fraction. And they, those people they tell you about, those people that went rock-bottom, plus themselves too, they pulled through. You will pull through too.
So today, I just want to tell you, “Go for It, Even When It Seems Impossible. Simply because you can.
Signing Off ~~~ *Kawi*